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Somewhere . . . maybe close, maybe far away. I hear it. I almost feel that I can always hear it, you know. In my dreams.

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The situation requires vigilance. Constant vigilance. The moment I stop looking, that’s when it’ll come to get me. As I’ve always known it would.

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Well, I can’t lie. Things don’t seem good. In fact, things seem very, very bad. It’s definitely out there. Probably we should lock the doors. And arm ourselves.

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WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARS THIS FUCKING LAWNMOWER I SWEAR I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY SHIT UP IN HERE

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Oh wait. Nevermind. I guess if he’s not freaked out, I’m good. Yeah. I’m good. Ha ha ha ha! God, what was my problem? Never mind. Ha ha!

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Dooooooooooom.

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Mike
Mike
12 years ago

Awesome! Great post!

Mikki
Mikki
12 years ago

Best photo sequence ever. :)

Stephanie
Stephanie
12 years ago

D – just remember “We have nothing to fear but fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

la isla d'lisa
12 years ago

Hunh, I almost lost MY shit becasue that post? Was fantastic!

Lesley
Lesley
12 years ago

Hilarious. (Sorry, D; don’t mean to chuckle at your pain.)

Maybe someday Dylan will be a Lawnmower Whisperer.

Lauren
Lauren
12 years ago

This made me hysterical. That is all. Carry on.

Lucy
Lucy
12 years ago

Adorable!

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
12 years ago

That was freakin awesome Linda!

He’s too cute.

Kym
Kym
12 years ago

My son is like that with the vacuum cleaner, he goes bonkers when he even hears the closet door open where we keep it.

Lindsay
Lindsay
12 years ago

Amazing.

Allison
12 years ago

Bwaaaaahahahahaha! Outstanding.

Cara
12 years ago

Hilarious.

Marie Green
12 years ago

What I love about this is that he seems to be WAITING to freak out. Not, like, hearing a lawnmower and then getting scared. NO… LOOKING for a lawnmower so he CAN be scared. So funny!

Shelley
Shelley
12 years ago

Frickin HYSTERICAL ! Bout peed myself laughing.

April G.
April G.
12 years ago

Poor little guy! He looks SO worried! Those are great pictures though.

jodie
jodie
12 years ago

Whenever I’m on the computer and bust out laughing from across the room my husband says “are you reading that ladies blog again?” LOL

Steph
12 years ago

That is so funny my daughter is having similar issues and keeping a similar vigil but it’s because of bugs. She loves the lawnmower but the thought of flies being outside those windows is just too much for her to take.

Katherine
Katherine
12 years ago

And this is not limited to our human children. My dog begins the shaking and clinging when I get out the ironing board. The evil iron beeps.

Belle
Belle
12 years ago

He is just so dern cute! Great post! :)

christina
12 years ago

That was beautiful. Have you ever seen the book “Nuts.” by Gahan Wilson? It came out in the 70’s, and is a comic about a boy making sense of the confusion of the adult world. It is brilliant and funny.

nonsoccermom
12 years ago

Poor little guy! Too funny (for me, I mean. Obviously not for him.)

victoria
victoria
12 years ago

Oh, my word, I love you.

Brenna
12 years ago

Love the photo series, glad to see photo evidence of other kids’ irrational fears.

Mary @ Tips&Treasures
12 years ago

Too funny!

Kids’ fears can be pretty funny sometimes and a big pain in the ass as well. My daughter, 4, never had a single fear. My son, 2, is suddenly terrified to his core of elevators, frosty air from the freezer and playground tunnels. No scary incidents prompted any of them. Strange little guy…

Victoria
12 years ago

Oh, little man, it’s ok. If the lawnmowers don’t come get you, the thunder will come get me!

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lisa ann
lisa ann
12 years ago

too awesome.

Joe
Joe
12 years ago

My 3 year old son saw those pictures and asked what was wrong with that boy, and I explained it to him. He now wants Dylan to come over and to help him ‘cut the grass’ with his bubble lawnmowers so maybe he won’t be so scared.

Sara
12 years ago

Oh that little face is just too cute! Sometimes all you need to be safe is a calm big brother!

Andrea
Andrea
12 years ago

Oh, that was so good. I needed this on a Monday morning.

Christina
12 years ago

Love this! My almost 2 year old is scared shitless of loud motorized vehicles including, but not exclusively, you guessed, it – LAWN MOWERS. She looks all happy and thrilled to see the lawn mower and the person who is about to get on the riding mower and she waves and is smiling and happy and than they start up. She shrieks and runs and hides her face like OMG THE FUCKING CUTE MOWER JUST TURNED EVILLLLL I TELL YOU EVILLLLL MOMMMMMMEEEE!

It is rather priceless.

Amanda Blair
12 years ago

bahahahahahahaha. I used to have a severe fear of the bathtub water overflowing. I would loose my shit if I or my mom didn’t watch it while it was filling it up. Poor little guy!

Faith
Faith
12 years ago

This is like when you know there’s a spider in the room because you just saw it, but then when you turned your head it went missing, and now you can’t stop looking for it so that you know exactly towards which corner of the room to direct your terror.

Poor Dylan. It sucks to be afraid. Hope he finds a way to deal soon!

Jennifer
Jennifer
12 years ago

Oh yes…the irrational fears of children! My almost-6-year-old is terrified of anything that could possibly overflow with water. Toilets? Yep – will only use my toilet because the one in her bathroom got stopped up once and overflowed. And God forbid a piece of TP not flush down properly! I mean crying, trembling, the whole works. The bathtub? Yep – if I leave the bathtub filling up and unattended – even just to run out to the linen closet to grab a towel, she FREAKS OUT! OR – if the tub doesn’t drain fast enough for her liking, it’s meltdown city around my house. Sinks? Oh yeah – don’t even THINK about letting the water run while you brush your teeth. You might flood the world and need an ark, ya know.

But the kid will swim like a fish in any pool, complete with fountains, drains, etc. – including the one in our backyard! So weird.

Dylan is so freakin’ adorable!

Mary H.
Mary H.
12 years ago

Ohmigod, once again you’ve managed to make me laugh out loud. Poor guy – I hope he figures out that the lawnmowers are not coming for HIM.

Erika Peterson
12 years ago

Best. post. ever. Thanks for getting me through my Monday!

Kami
12 years ago

Love it. Thanks.

lisa
lisa
12 years ago

oh my god, this made me laugh til i cried. and ive re-read it about five times now! Thanks Linda!

Melly
Melly
12 years ago

Awesome! Loving those cowlicks in Dylan’s hair. Cuteness.

Thursday
12 years ago

Great photo sequence but my favourite is still Riley with the broccoli.

Diana V
12 years ago

I used to have a horrible fear of public speaking–like full on panic attack horrible. Now it’s more run of the mill horrible. What helps me most is practicing over and over until I know exactly how I’m going to say certain things, inflections, hand gestures, etc., because what scares me about public speaking is that I’ll somehow surprise myself, or that a sentence I’ve written down will actually sound weird and awkward out loud and I’ll stumble over all my words.

…did that help, or make you more nervous?

Nic
Nic
12 years ago

Estee Lauder doublewear…I have oily skin and spend all my time in London on the stinky underground. Fabulous. Will. Not. Budge. Slightly expensive, but my bottle *just* ran out and I’ve had it 6 months… and no I’m not one of those lucky types that only needs foundation for ‘special occasions’ I slap it on everyday to spare the general public the horror of my real skin ;-)

As for the presentation – try amd remember they’re only people, they put their pants on one leg at a time same as everyone… I’m fine presenting to anyone I dont / vaguely know…. presenting to family and best friends – that WOULD be a killer

Good luck!

…just found your site – love it love it love it !

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