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Archives from 2002-2006

The daily photos continue. Archived: February and March.

A while ago, some generous soul posted one of my personal photos to Reddit:

I don’t know much about Reddit but it must be a popular place judging by the number of folks who emailed me to be like, um, hey, your shit is on Reddit. Afterwards, the photo went on to make the rounds on places like Buzzfeed, The Daily What, Cheezburger, Funny or Die, and a bunch more. A Google search for “meta photobomb” reveals the thrilling uncredited contribution Dylan and I made to any number of ad-driven websites.

YOU’RE WELCOME, COMEDIC WEB PROPERTIES.

Anyway, because the photo generated so much discussion, I thought I’d take a moment to address some of the most common observations:

That arm tattoo is hideous. I’d maybe fuck her with the lights out if I didn’t know that thing was there.

You know the exotic and elaborate mating ritual of the bird family Paradisaeidae? Where in order to attract and impress a mate, a Bird of Paradise contorts its body into an orb shape then jumps and dances around its intended lover while making loud ticking noises? My arm tattoo is not at all like this bird dance. Which is to say, feel free to assume I’m not trying to use it to give you a boner.

LOL BABBY WANTS TO SUCK THAT TITTIE HES HANGRY MIIIIIIILK BOOBIEZ

I’d explain how my body wasn’t actually breastfeeding-compliant at the time, but I suspect your blank-eyed, suction-mouthed response would be: “…Boobies? Milk? MA-MA?”

This woman has an SLR and an external flash but didn’t bother to use a tripod? IMHO she should be beaten to death with sticks.

Is this a real thing? Hauling out a tripod for silly spur-of-the-moment shots? Maybe that’s why my 2011 Humorous-Yet-Artsy Baby Photo Calendar never took off.

UR KID LOOKS LIKE BOBBY HILL

Well that’s not really a very nice thing to say, but I have to admit that in this particular photo he totally does. In an equally unflattering photograph taken several years ago, my first son also oddly resembled Stewie from Family Guy:

Nice eyebags. Ew.

They’re from all the sleep I lost wondering whether you, Dedicated User-Submitted Social Website Frequenter, would find this photo as sexually attractive as I’d hoped you would.

I never thought about the people in those meme-y images but now I sympathize and am thinking of maybe starting a support group. We shall meet for badly-staged amateur photos which we shall adorn with sans-serif kitty pidgin commentary. Later, there will be punch.

Lastly, while I’ve always thought that mirror photo of Dylan is hilarious, this remains my all-time favorite family photobomb:

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