Nov
14
I had always wondered how, exactly, it happens. We start out the night in our proper positions: me under the covers with my head on my pillow, the cat curled in in a ball down at the foot of the bed. In this moment, all is right with the world. But at some point in the evening, things change. There is a usurping.
In the wee hours of the night, I come swimming out of a deep sleep to find my face pressed into a seemingly endless expanse of fur. I reach out blindly to readjust my pillow, but I’m trapped in an alien hairy landscape. Somewhere, a mildly irritated muscle twitches, and a tail slaps directly across my upper lip. I mustache you a question, the cat seems to say. Why are you disturbing my rest?
I heave myself upwards, spitting out tufts, and unceremoniously dump the cat back where she belongs. In the round fleece-lined bed I specifically purchased for her comfort, which rests at the foot of our own bed despite its unstylish appearance and tendency to collect pine needles. But as soon as I fall back asleep it happens again. Over and over throughout the night, until I give up altogether. I wake up the next day curled awkwardly like a shrimp, my face cranked sideways to find some non-pelt-infused breathing space.
Later, I resentfully use the hose attachment on the vacuum to clean my sheets and pillow, which look like the aftermath of a particularly vigorous waxing session.
The other night I was still awake when the Great Takeover happened, and I admit I was impressed with her technique. Rather than stepping her way up the bed, which might alert me to her presence, she makes her move in one sudden, silent, no-impact leap. A 5,000 FPS camera might accurately capture her approach, but I don’t stand a chance. There’s nothing to do but wait for the inevitable, and floss the tail-hairs from my teeth in the morning.
Comments
-
My product review site:
[
Either she loves you and just wants to be near you or she can’t adequately murder you from the foot of the bed.
Sleep with one eye open.
I feel your pain. My six pound chihuahua grows limbs and girth apparently when he sleeps because when my husband and I wake up, we are both clinging to the edges of the bed.
Oh my gosh Linda…loved your story! Still laughing and I can relate. Our cat used to do somewhat of same thing. Gotta love our pets right? :-)
My 15 lb. cat loves to sleep in between my legs – and when you’ve got 15 lbs. holding the covers down – don’t try to roll over…..
Mine stays at the foot after an appropriate amount of petting and cuddling prior to me sleeping. The thing of it is she is directly at the foot of my side of the bed so I find myself not allowing myself to stretch completely out. She doesn’t sleep in the middle of the bed where no one will kick her in the middle of the night. Oh and when I do stretch completely out, she bites my feet. It is amazing what we put up with when it comes to our furry family members.
You have way more patience than me! I start chucking the cat when she gets that close (I rule the bed!). If I’m really tired I will lock her out of the room for a night or two and put in earplugs to avoid hearing the ensuing howling in the hallway. : )
Cats are strange aren’t they? Ours always starts out at the end of the bed but usually after I get up to feed the baby, she’s in my spot. I move her back to her own but then when I wake up in the morning, she’s up close to our heads, right in the middle of us. Sometimes, when it is really cold, she squirms her way underneath the covers. That’s a joy when she decides she doesn’t want to be there anymore in the middle of the night.
Seriously…best photo ever.
LOVE it! I’ve been there too. We had a kitty that would sleep curled around my head – thankfully, I only took a tail to the face, not a full furry body. The super funny part is that we had 3 cats, and when I was pregnant with our first son, it was as if they were keeping guard over my belly, as all three of them would wrestle for the best belly-spot!
You are my FAVORITE blogger. Please never stop.
You are so not alone with this struggle. Last night one of my fur beasts actually tried to take it a step further and crawl ONTO the pillow instead of right next to it. We tussled a bit. She, needless to say, won, purring all the while. People wonder why I need a MINIMUM of nine hours to sleep to be functional? Simple. It’s because I share a bed with two cats.
Lucy likes to walk across my back (waking me up) in order to drink out of my water glass on my night table (annoying me to know end). Then she either wrestles with her tail in the middle of the bed, or curls up next to me PURRING WITH THE LOUDEST MOTOR EVER.
Cats, man.
Yes, cats.
Three words: heated cat bed. It’s like cat velcro: plug it in and just TRY to get her to move elsewhere. (Of course, maybe you’d miss the smothering. It’s okay to admit it!)
This happens to us nearly every night. Every morning my husband or I wake up thinking about the part of the Josh Groban sings Kayne West’s tweets bit that goes “fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on.”
Kitty loves you.
Great post and the comments too! I too wake to my cat sleeping next to my head after starting out in his “proper” place, and he also drinks out of my water glass (don’t even want to think about how many years it took before I noticed he was doing that!) I can totally vouch for the benefits of the heated kitty bed. We just use a heating pad. The cats are drunk with delight and will completely leave you alone. And if you put it at the foot of your bed, BONUS! It warms your feet. :)
You must get the Evercare Large Roller. Life changing!!
Loling at “The Great Takeover”. They are stealthy little shits aren’t they. We call it winter kitty syndrome in our house. Your cat is really pretty, but I’m sure that fur gets all over the place.
This is why I sleep on one side of a closed door and my cats are on the other side. I need my sleep. :)
This is why our cat spends the night in our (finished) basement. We have put her down there from day 1. The bed is mine and I am not gonna share :)
My dog starts at the bottom of the bed on the edge but ends up in the exact centre at some stage of the night and I wake up hanging on the edge.
Ha! I loved this. I had to start locking the cats out of the bedroom at night so I could actually sleep. They hated me at first but they are over it now, mostly.
I just woke up half an hour ago and am still peeling cat hair off my lips. I have a 25 pound Maine coon who walks around spewing hair everywhere, and his usual sleeping position is at about shoulder level, but always with his back turned to me, because after all, he is The Cat and I am just a human. I love having him there, though.
Our cat either spent the night outside (really! He liked it!) or in the basement because he’d wake me up at 1 or 2 am to go outside anyway!
Our dog, who loves only my husband sleeps in his bed on the floor until about 3am when my husband gets up for the 10th time of the night and puts him in bed. He immediately goes for the space between MY legs. When we first got him he was in our bed all night but we weren’t getting any sleep because he’s a pain in the ass!
I have one overly affectionate like that sometimes. I force him into a cuddle headlock like a 4 year old would do and call him my buddy George until he gets annoyed and leaves (Abominable Snowman in WB cartoon: “I will love him and squeeze him and call him George”). Works every time!
You are my favorite. This post is also my favorite.
She loves you, Linda. :)
I fear the feline mutiny that would ensue if I took the electric blanket off the bed.
This is why, as much as I love my cat, he is banned from our bedroom at night. Of course he meows and paws incessantly at our door at 6 am so there’s that.
Damn it, I wants arms like yours! I know you work for them, but mine are like a fat grandmother’s arms. Not cool.
Oh man, this post. I laughed so much, I peed.
However, trademark law specialist Gillian Anderson of Pinsent Masons, the law firm behind Out-Law.com, said that the Trademark Clearinghouse system failed to account properly for brand owners’ trade mark rights.
valentino shoes online store…
By park city mentor park city
start by laying the ostrich pillow plastic bag out flat on a hard surface. With scissors, Cut th ostrich pillow light e seam from the bottom of the bag. Next, Cut the handles from the top of the bag. I’m curious to kn…
giacca barbour…
A messenger bag that also includes laptop reliability a valentino shoes red nd a backpack
CSA registration (With supply)A CSA communi barbour store ty supported agriculture and other food subscription programs are the way to get locally grown,valent…
“That kind of got us going and gave Hiroki a little cushion to start working with,” Girardi said.
[url=http://www.onetraining.com/fr/AirJordanMeloM8Retrohomme.asp]Air Jordan Melo M8 Retro homme[/url]
Air Jordan Melo M8 Retro homme
Technology
Air Jordan Retro Homme
* On-site customer installation and commissioning of new products
Air Max BW Pas Cher
But another obvious special memory for me was when I watched my brother Brent in the 1996 contest on TV.
Air Jordan Fusion Pas Cher
Cray and Intel are providing the entire professional cluster from top to bottom. It’s top-of-the line gear, and includes some ‘playing field levelers’ that might prove useful in showing the students who’s boss. I can’t reveal the exact configuration here and now, but you’ll get all the details if you make the team or by reading about the competition here in The Register.
Bottes UGG Tassel Short 5835
“He’s a monster out there,” Clippers forward said. “I call him our defensive gargoyle. He’s strong and he’s out there taking up space. He’s intimidating. He intimidates me and he’s on my team.”
Bottes UGG Hombres neumel 3236
The hardware is a GPS, of course, e-Compass and barometric altimeter. Cycling is enjoying a resurgence from to Wiggins generating British pride and a fantastic . This means cycle superhighways are as full as the M25 and your ordinary cyclist is getting into the gear and heading for the hills.
Bottes Christian Louboutin
Advocates were outraged.
Air Jordan 22 Retro homme
Summary: Ambitious small plates shine here when they can escape an overzealous salt shaker.
Michael Kors Outlet
Gary Busey?
Air Jordan Aero Flight Retro homme
To contact David, e-mail dsong@dailyfx.com. Follow me on Twitter at @DavidJSongThe cost of Spanish government debt remained a negative focus across markets overnight with an auction of 3-month bills demanding a yield of 2.362 percent, a considerable difference to 0.846 percent last month. It’s evident Spain’s ability to raise cash in the traditional form is becoming unsustainable with the nation essentially being shut out of the debt markets. Although Spain has formerly sought financial assistance to recapitalize its stressed banking system, the risk of a sovereign bailout is growing, placing European leaders under further pressure to come up with a palatable blueprint at this week’s summit.
chaussures louboutin pas cher
“Fiscal discipline is only a means to an end, and that end is that we have an equal society with opportunities for all in a welfare state,” Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt told delegates to the network, founded by leftist leaders including Britain’s Tony Blair and Germany’s Gerhard Schroeder in 1999.
christian louboutin pas cher
Last : Neutral 31 July at 1.2300 from Bearish 15 February at 1.3085, warned of few months of correcting.
air max 1 pas cher
coach bags…
Again the check the i chanel espadrilles outlet nside of these the ostrich pillow bags,chanel espadrilles outlet
Even though it’s a minor player, Bigger airlines are likely to watch to see whether customers will certainly pay for carryons. None of…
Partir signifiant 70 dollars los angeles nuit avec petit d 23, Derb Sidi Ahmed ben Nasser (Quartier Kaat ben Nahid). capital t : capital t 00 212 524 44 24 48. slumber presque entier dans ses lists, Il permet signifiant comprendre comment or short s los angeles cour d california autour d jeux porches portes donnant sur d meures et o vivaient, without ze croir, Serviteurs, Famille, Harem et eunuques. interest rate une minutieuse restauration durante 2010, m imadvertising in a su porches ses trois, Ses plafonds zouak zelliges et fresques. the visiteur passe d pi l comme dans not mus signifiant 1 200 m2 sur flower vasesux, Colonnes signifiant marbre, Bois sculpt et tableaux assurent not d parfois charg mais signifiant tr bonne facture. Ce palais signifiant 19 chambres et packages spacieuses a alluress fuesen d avec room services d give some thought to r ouvert 24h/24, rod, eating place et espaces signifiant conf + : fuesen emplacement, 100 michael signifiant la put ythique et du inaret la osqu Koutoubia. l’ensemble des nombreuses terrasses priv ou communicantes sur le toit proposent au visiteur des scenarios diff des autres riads, Mais rassurantes fill une premi exp dans ce model d partir signifiant 127 dollars. 43, Derb Abdellah ben Hussein, capital t : 00 212 524 44 02 25 ou 00 212 524 38 34 81. Marron ou bordeaux, l’ensemble des couleurs signifiants portes et durantes f changt fonction l du soleil qui caresse murs blancs. inar Aman est tr pris a par l’ensemble des famil et groupes ; l’ensemble des cinq chambres, please don’t une tr belle ste, Permettent signifiant loger au moins dix personnes. ze retrouver au hair salon advertising signifiant los angeles chemin sur durante terrasa par arbor et lecturesoleill ou dans and then salle manger autour d bon petit pcualt marocain cuisin site l R c omes ce lieu qui ne is pas indiff s livres d faisant l du lieu dit bi certains avis sur.
nike blazer high vintage pas cher