Jun

23

And now for something completely different

JB read my post yesterday and was like, hey, I didn’t know it meant that much to you to go to BlogHer, let me work some mysterious mojo with my airline miles oh here is a free flight to NYC. And I was like, um, now I am really super embarrassed about publicly whimpering and boy I wish we could have discussed that whole secret mileage rabbit-in-the-hat action a while ago instead of me feeling bummed and coming thisclose to selling my conference pass and not to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything but is it really only obvious what is meaningful to me when it makes it to my website? But nevermind, who cares, because THANK YOU, MIRACLE ACHIEVED. BlogHer is a go, and I am beyond thrilled about this.

Also, I checked the school website this morning and grades are posted and can I get a WHUT WHUT, I aced my goddamn nutrition class.

AAAAAAAA

This class was teeming with biochemistry, he slammed us with a weekly quiz, I had to give a presentation in front of the class using a slide deck and everything, and you guys, it was not easy. Seeing that A makes me feel . . . I don’t even know. It makes me feel happy and proud and like I can do this school thing even if it takes fifty more years.

MAN. Is this Hump Day? Because I feel like I am getting DRILLED with GOOD NEWS.

53 Comments 

Jun

22

Absence

I talk to my coworkers while I’m in the office and I talk to my husband at home, but that’s pretty much the extent of my adult in-person interactions. I almost never spend time with friends, not for a lack of wanting to do so, more as a result of incompatible schedules and locations and priorities.

I don’t have many friends, really. I am shy and reserved and I find it hard to accept the inherent vulnerability that comes with friendships and I’m not good at maintaining them and I’m terrible at reaching out and sometimes I wonder there’s something fundamentally broken in me in this regard.

I fill this friend-shaped void with the internet and I don’t really know if that’s sad or sensible, if I’m a pathological dork or someone who’s just making connections where she can.

The last time I spent time with a group of like-minded friends was last summer, at BlogHer. For all the anxiety surrounding BlogHer—meeting new people! Figuring out what to pack! Finding a familiar face in an intimidating conference room!—it was deeply enjoyable to briefly shed my normal life and be a social person, someone who talks with actual out-loud words instead of clattering keystrokes. It was wonderful to step through the computer and actually be with people I’ve only known through webpages and emails.

Unless something fairly miraculous happens, I don’t think I’ll be able to go to BlogHer this year. And maybe it sounds silly or even kind of pathetic, but I am stupendously brokenhearted about it. I don’t care about parties or sessions or keynotes, I just wanted to spend time with friends.

71 Comments 

← Previous Page — Next Page →