Feb
24
If you missed the post I put up on Monday night and have been wondering just what the hell I was talking about yesterday, the gist of it is that I had a super shitty day at work, wrote about it, then reconsidered the wisdom of doing so. I don’t think the post itself held any objectionable content, but inviting discussion via comments was probably not a good idea.
When you believe you have been treated poorly, it is incredibly validating—and comforting—to have people agree with you. But there’s an inherent risk in painting a partial, biased picture when you involve other people, and it was almost certainly the wrong thing to do to invite criticism and outrage on my behalf.
(No matter how good it felt.)
Anyway, I’ve gone through a nearly pitch-perfect Kübler-Ross model of processing Monday’s bombshell, from weepy devastation to white-hot fury to a kind of wary acceptance. It’s funny, I was just thinking about the nature of impermanence and unpredictability and I’m now in a position to try and take my own advice: to let go of what has already happened (an enormous challenge at the moment, when I’m still feeling so much resentment) and move on. Start doing what it takes to move things forward in a positive way.
I feel like something unpleasant but necessary happened to me this week. I feel like I have a new perspective that includes the sincere belief that I am capable of better things and that is is my responsibility to seek out the future I want to have instead of waiting for it to happen to me.
Danny linked to this video today and I startled myself by bursting into overwhelmed, grateful tears while watching it.
Listen to the lyrics:
It’s not where you are
it’s where you’re going
It’s not about the things you’ve done
it’s what you’re doing now
Yes. Just: yes.
This is the weekend of my race, the goal I have been training for for so long, and I am convinced the timing has happened this way for a reason. When I run those miles I will be reminding myself with every step how hard I’ve worked and what I’m capable of when I try. When I cross that finish line my body will surely be hurting but my heart will be flying. I will know the truth of dreams becoming reality.
Feb
23
I took down the previous post, not because of anything I was sorry about or as a result of anyone objecting to its content, but because as some of you mentioned, leaving comments open was probably not a good idea.
I feel much better today, and I want to thank you for your supportive words. You guys have always helped me through the tough times, and I cannot express how much I appreciate it.
I think things will be okay one way or another. I’ll keep you posted.
-
My product review site:
[