Mar
2
I can’t think of the last time I noticed anyone looking at me. You know: looking at me. Checking me out.
If it’s been a long time since I noticed anyone noticing me, it’s been, like, YEARS since anyone’s actually made a pass at me, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Hit on me? Flirted, that’s a better term. No one ever flirts with me anymore, and I can’t believe I’m whining about this, but hey guess what I AM.
Maybe it’s because I give off a strong Married-with-Kids vibe, maybe it’s because I feel about as sexy most days as a nudibranch (which despite the titillating “nudie” in their name and the surprising fact that they are hermaphroditic, are still sea slugs, and therefore unsexy by definition), maybe it’s because I’m no longer young and/or reckless, but it kind of bothers me. I don’t really know how to say it without sounding shallow as hell — or worse, like I’m fishing for compliments — but the more time goes by without even, say, a quick sidelong glance of appreciation, the more invisible and frumpy I feel.
My husband, who is both sweet and as lecherous as they come, constantly compliments me in an exotic mix of gentlemanly and mildly offensive ways, and I love, love, LOVE that and obviously I love HIM and I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m TROLLING for something, it’s just that . . . oh, this is just getting more and more embarrassing. It’s just that even though he thinks I look good, and despite my raging insecurities there are often times when I think I look good, I miss other people thinking I look good. I miss innocent, yet esteem-boosting eyeballings. I miss feeling like a desirable woman.
This is dumb, right? Weird AND dumb. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a happily married woman complain about the issue of Not Being Ogled By Strangers before, which either means all of you are getting ogled on a regular basis or only a total douchebag would notice or care about something so ridiculous. WAIT DON’T TELL ME.
Feb
28
Hey, if you’re sick of talking about formula marketing, you want to talk about health care costs instead? I just paid over $1800 for a one-month supply of medication yesterday, so the topic is sort of on my mind at the moment, along with other important issues such as how in the GODS’ names are they going to wrap up Battlestar Galactica with just three more episodes and dude when is Dylan going to start sleeping better WHEN?
So yeah, $1800. When JB left Microsoft, we knew there would be a brief gap between when our insurance was dropped and COBRA picked up, but I didn’t manage to time my prescription refill so that it wouldn’t fall directly into that gap and what what, this costs how much? We should in theory be getting reimbursed for that expense but my god, I keep thinking about people who don’t have coverage or their coverage doesn’t pay for insanely expensive drugs that don’t have generic equivalents and seriously, sixty dollars per pill? No wonder I have family members who routinely buy prescription meds overseas during their vacations and essentially become cruisewear-sporting drug mules, because what the hell else can you do when you can’t afford the insurance that would pay for the medication you need?
Health care was our biggest concern about JB starting his new business, because Microsoft basically has the best medical benefits in the known universe. We’ll be on COBRA for 18 months, but after that we’ll need to get private insurance or JB’s company will need to buy a policy for its employees. In the meantime, the COBRA plan which provides us with the same level of free healthcare that we’ve had for the last several years now costs us $1200 per month.
What a massive barrier for anyone considering an entrepreneurial path — especially someone with a family to support — and yet another reason the economy’s going to keep circling the goddamned drain until some changes are made, what a profoundly fucked-up situation it is that everyone in our country doesn’t have access to good healthcare, and what a crime against humanity that one pill should cost sixty dollars and DOESN’T EVEN GET YOU HIGH.
Anyway. Blah, blah, blah, Sicko etc blah.
On a more positive healthcare-related topic, JB’s new company is called Vioguard, and their first product is a self-sanitizing keyboard that uses UV light to destroy bacteria on its surfaces. The idea is to help cut down on infections that can be spread via shared workstations in healthcare facilities, so patients will be less likely to have their flesh be eaten by MRSA and other diseases when they go to the hospital. Also, I’m pretty sure it works on zombies, so obviously I’m quite proud of his new endeavor.
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