September 27, 2006

Riley is napping right now, THANK GOD, because seriously, Spotty McRasherton is sapping my will to live. He’s not really sick, exactly, and he’s not itchy – he’s just…querulous. His patience level has dropped to negative eleventy billion, and it’s like living with the world’s most obnoxious drama queen. Bottle not quite within reach? WOE AND MISERY UNTO THE UNIVERSE. Toy dropped off edge of highchair tray? I BRING FIERY DEATH TO YOU ALL. Etc.

I’m glad we were able to get him into the doctor so quickly and rule out all of the exotic diseases I’m sure I would be grimly googling right now (Hmmm, was he somehow exposed to a “lone star” tick, otherwise known as the Amblyomma americanum? My god, I must call the CDC!). According to the doc, it’s just a viral rash, and not, at this point anyway, contagious.

It may not be an uncommon ailment but it sure is spectacularly freaky. His entire torso is covered in little red blotches and he looks like he should be in a special toddler colony on Molokai. I think I should dress him in a revealing, unbuttoned shirt, then lurch through the Bellevue Square Mall today just to watch people blanch and run away.

Touchh himmmmmmm,” I’ll hiss slushily, thrusting Riley, who certainly appears to be teeming with contagion, in their direction. “Become…like…usssssssssss.”

Or maybe I’ll just hang around here making rooster sounds all day in a desperate, unending quest to stave off his angry howls. Yeah. Either one, they both sound pretty awesome.

92406_happy.jpg
(The boy, pre-plague. Ah, he was once so spot-free, just like the No Hands carwash. Sigh.)

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anatomist
15 years ago

poor riley! poor you! that rashy baby picture is one of the saddest things i have ever seen. he just looks so resigned to the spots.

Rumblelizard
Rumblelizard
15 years ago

Poor baby. I hope he feels better soon. Maybe this would help? http://www.medshopexpress.com/757237.html

warcrygirl
15 years ago

Poor thing, hope he feels better soon.

robin
15 years ago

Ya know what cracks me up? The oddball things you post like ‘be one of uuuusssssss’ makes me wonder what you DON’T post. I can only imagine the things that go through your head. It’s great!

I’ll probably get bashed for this, but on these kinds of days, when nothing seems to work or everything is too much for the kid, its baby einstein or thomas that freakin train all.damn.day. However long it will keep the kid content, I say go for it.

Amie
15 years ago

Aislinn went through that when she was about a year old. Pure. Unadulterated. Misery. For me, as well as her. There wasn’t anything that really made her feel much better. I gave her tylenol periodically, and, much like you’re doing now, tried to figure out how to make it through the outbursts without losing my sanity. It did, however, finally go away. We both made it through alive, so I’m fairly optimistic about you and Riley’s chances of survival. *grin*

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

Babygirl had a fever and barfing a few months ago. As soon as the fever broke she got a rash much like Riley’s. It went away after a day or two. Her doc said the same thing (viral and non-contagious) and day care even let her in.

Poor little boy (and mom)!

ali
ali
15 years ago

just be thankful he’s not itchy! that’s the worst – trying to explain to a baby that scratching only makes these things worse. yeah, they don’t even understand that poo goes in the toilet…you think they are going to understand that??!! he.

K
K
15 years ago

Poor little pumpkin! I hope he feels better soon!

jonniker
15 years ago

You make things so…FUNNY in your delivery that it’s hard to stop laughing while you explain them. So hard! Especially when you’re talking about poor little Rileymeister and his spotty little rash. Poor baby, and poor you.

Rachel
15 years ago

My daughter had that exact rash at around six months of age. Unfortunately we had just been to an international airport to pick up a friend coming in from Australia, and I was CONVINCED that she had the German measles, picked up from some unvaccinated tourist. I was SO FREAKED OUT. Yay Internet. Until I called her pediatrician and found out it was, what, roseola? Way more boring.

justmouse
justmouse
15 years ago

seriously…if you go to the mall, can i come? you are such a frigging RIOT! damn you for living so far away. i would totally babysit your rashy, querulous son. well, for a little while, anyway. hope he feels better soon, as the level of his happiness is in direct correlation to your mental well being. dunk him in calamine lotion….or something. or um..bath him in oatmeal? or put baking soda in his bathwater…i dunno…trying to desperately remember all the so-you-have-an-itchy-screaming-baby? advice i heard 14 years ago.

Swistle
15 years ago

Poor little Rashy McViralton! Hope he feels better soon. And I second the vote for TELEVISION. I swear, it can save not only your life but his.

Mama Ritchie
15 years ago

Robin – you’re not gonna get bashed by me. I use videos all the time when he’s cranky. I used to feel guilty but now I’m just too tired to care.

My nephew gets rashes when he gets fevers. My sister called me and casually told me Jack had scarlett fever. I was like, do people still get that? What’s he gonna get next? Polio? Mumps? Sounds like he should be in a Louisa May Alcott novel.

I hope little Riley feels better soon – for all of your sakes!

Mona
15 years ago

I double dare you to go to BSM! I would love to see the faces of those skanks at Nordies who always huff at me!

Cris
Cris
15 years ago

Hope Riley is back to his ol spot free self soon! He gets cuter everyday.

LOL @ the “Touch himmm” and “Become like usss” comments.. you are a hoot!

Get goodies from Lush :)

Sonia (DDM)
15 years ago

My name is Sonia. And I put my son in front of videos on bad days too. And I will NEVER. EVER. Feel bad about it.
Please, PLEASE post when you are headed to BSM? With sugar on top? I won’t bother you. But I will take my camera, park on a bench and capture photos of the horrified shoppers and store clerks.

mrscrumley
15 years ago

Yup, my son had that rash too. We were prescribed Zyrtec for it, but it went away after a couple of days. (And we still have an almost full bottle of Zyrtec.)
Here is a picture of him at his worst (but so cute!). http://crumleydotorg.chattablogs.com/archives/images/05_09_26.jpg
And here is the entry I wrote about the diagnosis:
http://crumleydotorg.chattablogs.com/archives/029047.html

This too will pass.

diane
diane
15 years ago

Poor Riley….Poor Mama….This too shall pass….Honest !!!

Melissa
Melissa
15 years ago

Oh man – Riley looks so cute. Even with the spots. Good luck getting through this one!

CartwheelsAtMidnight
15 years ago

Gah! Mysterious Viral Rash! The worst of the worst. What I hated to hear the most from the doctor: “It’s just a virus. There’s nothing we can do. Give him Tylenol and liquids. That’ll be $50.” Thanks, DR. SMARTYPANTS!

Katie
15 years ago

What is the deal with the viral rashes? Is this a new thing like the proliferation of peanut allergies? What the hell? I have never even HEARD of one until like this month. Then, I got one myself. Fun times. I hope he clears up soon. I took me a couple weeks (but it didn’t hurt or itch or anything).

Leslie
Leslie
15 years ago

While I don’t doubt for a minute your ability to quote and possibly even act out sections of *Freaks,* I’m going to be very impressed if you knew Molokai without Wikipediaing Father Damien. Either ‘fess up or taunt me with your non-pinhead-sized brain.

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

You crack me up!

sunShine
15 years ago

Hope he is feeling better soon. I too have been dealing with a sick child that is just unreasonable!

Gena
15 years ago

You continue to make me laugh. However, poor baby looks pitiful. My oldest daughter looked like that at about 18 months, but her rash was an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. We actually took a flight with her looking that way – it was pretty funny to watch the people around us hoping they wouldn’t catch whatever it was that she had! I hope he is feeling better soon.

katie d
15 years ago

I read your latest post, so I’m glad Riley feels better about eating, at least. Thank you for making me laugh at the end of a depressing day. You totally rule.

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