Buddhist, actually. Lots of faith, no god. It works for me and my hope that things are connected (people to one another and to our environment). It also doesn’t require my faith be rigid = I can change my mind about any or all aspects of my faith as time goes on.
On the biting (I am way more comfortable commenting here than there): You did good. Firm “no”, and you went without causing any pain or real fear on his part (which leaves a stronger mark than the lesson we try to teach when we spank). Then not too long afterwards, some talk about empathy, hurting others, and the importance of being gentle. He’s too young for much more talk-wise.

I was in the same place a few years ago. I also felt that I was cheating my children by creating a void of understanding around faith. I worried that they’d always sense great mystery around the topic and wish they had the secret handshake so they could play along….or carry on a conversation about faith, or know what to do to find their own answers to the hard questions in life.

Anyway, I found a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. What a remarkable thing. It is as intellectual or spiritual as I want it to be, or not. It is a place to teach my son about peace, love, social justice and community. It is a place to know or not know, to question….to even be an atheist. It works for us.

Wouldn’t the heaven concept be really nice? Love your writing. Thank you.

I’m an atheist. I was raised Catholic, but ever since I can remember I had some serious doubts about what the church was teaching me. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I am an atheist, yet when I finally did, it was a very peaceful feeling. I live by the “treat others as you would like to be treated”, and try to have tolerance for people who have different beliefs than mine. I told my husband, on my tombstone I want “Darwin was my co-pilot.” I can certainly see the comfort of religion, and it is a lovely thought that we would be reunited with our loved ones after death. If I’m wrong, it will be a very happy surprise!

I definitely believe in a God, or at least in some higher power. Things are just too magical. But I don’t really believe in Jesus or in pretty much anything the bible says, except in an allegorical way. I have a real problem with anyone who says only certain people will go to heaven. Yes, I believe in heaven too. And hell, definitely. Sometimes, reincarnation makes a lot of sense to me also. I have been interested for years in the Unitarian church and may actually start going one of these days. I would only go to a church that welcomes all kinds of people with no judgements about them and that seems to be the case there. You might want to check them out. I hear good things.

interesting the comments before me because i’m a combo. i occasionally attend unitarian fellowship and buddhist meditation and retreats. i’ll go a step further than you linda and say that I am an atheist. i wish i wasn’t in many ways. i also would like to see my loved ones after death and have much more than these measley 70 or so years on this earth. but i am a scientist and can’t make myself believe. i do lots of religious readings but the typical friendly father in the sky, jesus on the cross does nothing for me.

i did grow up a christian believer in a rather strict religion but my faith was shattered when i was 15 or so. i do know what it is like to have a personal relationship with god (i used to pray about 1/2 hour each day). i do miss that. i find it sad to be nonbeliever. but maybe that’s because i see it as a loss.

I’m Christian, but I have trouble with some parts of it. I don’t necessarily believe the Bible is literal, and I’m also spiritual and I don’t believe homosexuals etc are sinners – Jesus was the one who accepted everyone, anyway, so in the same way he’s going against the Bible. I get so angry at those who condemn stuff like homosexuality – it also says in the Bible that things like you can’t wear fabric made of more than one type of material, and are they also condemning that, or following that rule themselves?

I’m very spiritual also – I go to a spiritual healer which involves counselling and healing involving the chakras/aura. I think before I tried that, I didn’t necessarily believe that stuff works either, but I always go into a strange hypnotic trance while I’m being healed – its the most peaceful feeling I can imagine, and occasionally, when I can feel my healers hands holding (for example) my feet, suddenly I’ll be surprised to feel her hands on my head AND realise I can still feel someones hands on my feet.

I also remember the first time I ever walked into healing – it was just after the breakup with my ex and I had been in and out of hospital for suicide attempts. The second I walked into her healing room, my eyes filled with tears (damn this sounds cheesy,but you know). She didn’t notice that I know of, but she mentioned a couple minutes after that she has her spirit guides tell her how to arrange the room and that people normally cry the first time they walk in. It was the strangest thing.

I know that all sounds incredibly cheesy and fake, but my healer is the most wonderful person too – she used to suffer from a physical illness that left her unable to walk for years, but now she’s healthy and an open minded, beautiful, awesome person with two massive dogs and really sparkling blue eyes. I really trust her and she has helped me.

Man, I’m so ranting now…anyway the other thing I don’t understand is the afterlife. I like to believe it exists, because just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean its not there. However, I’m unsure about psychics. Theres this really good one on TV and she seems to know everything about everyone she meets, and its not that I’m wary of her powers, but what if the world is like a hologram and everything is sort of imprinted in the world? She might just be reading whats already existed in the world, and not actually the spirits. I don’t know, though.

Ha, and here’s something really really really stupid I just did – I was reading the “Comment Preview” below and I thought it was someone elses comment. Hey, someone else has a spiritual healer! Someone else went into a trance!…oh wait a minute.

Oh, one more thing…the reason I’m Christian still, despite not believing in some of the Bible stuff, is because of God. When I pray, I wake up feeling at peace with whatever it is that is troubling me, most of the time. I like to think its God, and I don’t care if God isn’t man-like, I don’t care if God IS the Universe, I consider whatever is helping me feel good and peaceful as God and that “he” or “she” or “the metaphorical God” or whatever is helping me.

I’m agnostic with a slight lean to athiest. I definatley fluctuate between them. It’s funny because Pete and I have been talking about checking out the UU church around the corner from us. I love the idea of it, and am facinated by all religions and beliefs enough to want to learn about them. We also figure it would give our kids a really rounded view of all religions. Nothing like an open mind.

I’m an agnostic pretty much exactly like you. I also kinda wish I could have faith. It seems so simple and pure. I just can’t make that leap, though, beautiful as it might be. I have a lot of respect for those you do believe in god.

Can I ask a personal question? Is your agnosticism the reason you’ve done recovery on your own? (as opposed to AA, which is so god-centered). I think it sucks there aren’t more resources availble to non-christians.

It’s so interesting to read responses on questions like this. So many responses of “I was raised… but…”

I was raised Catholic, and still am. (Shocking!) Not saying I’m a “good” Catholic. I’ve had my periods of frustration but I feel that the Church — all churches, really — are a human creation and bound to be flawed in some way (ways!). So we just have to love them despite it, because otherwise we’d know nothing of faith. They’re the vessel. I think that ritual and tradition and community are so important to the ebb and flow of families as we go through the years. Knowing, and acknowledging, different times of each year (Advent, Christmas, Easter, even Ordinary Time) help us mark our histories. And community is self-explanatory. So I think it’s natural to want to “name” the way you and your family will do that now and in the future.

I am no evangelist but I’m so grateful for my parents’ constancy of faith (as well as allowing us to question and discover things for ourselves) — I really hope I’ll do an okay job of passing these things on to my son.

Amanda: That’s an interesting question. Personally, I did not respond to AA or the notion of a higher power (although I respect their loose definition). No criticism against that system, at all.

Although I was married in a church and went to church my entire childhood, I think of myself more as a spiritualist. I believe in a “higher power”, I suppose, a force that governs things on a much higher plane than I think humans can understand. Incorporated in this belief are some aspects of Hinduism, Buddhism, some pagan stuff and even a little dash of Judaism (it was hard to grow up where I did without attending a bar/bat mitzvah just about every weekend when I was 13).

I have a very religious family (born-agains, Southern Baptists, evangelicals, even a minister for godssakes) on all sides, married and blood. However, when it comes to baptising our own impending child, we don’t think we’re going to do it. Fielding the familial pressure will be the worst part, mostly because I am at peace with the decision and I don’t feel like I should have to defend it. I feel that should our son want religion of a Christian sort, he can make that decision for himself when he feels ready.

Funny you should ask this question today. My grandmother in OH went into surgery this morning to remove a malignant growth from her colon. I told her I would not be praying for her as I’m not xtn, but would do some magick juju stuff instead. She asked me to go ahead and say a little prayer anyway. I may identify as Pagan now, but I “prayed” to her god.

I’m an atheist. That means that I have no gods. It does not mean that I firmly believe that there ARE no gods, just that I have no basis to believe in any. So… pretty much what you said, Linda. It’s a common semantic argument. :) Everybody’s an agnostic, because nobody knows, you know?

I was raised Catholic and my husband was, at various times, Pentacostal and Nazarene. He was born-again twice before he was 16. Now we’re just a happy, guilt-free couple raising our daughter without religion and trying to give her whatever ethical foundation a 19-month-old can have.

I don’t miss my faith, religion in general, or Catholicism in particular. I do not want spirituality. I can see how people would want something to believe in, but I don’t understand how they can hear about any given belief system and think, “huh. that sounds reasonable.” I guess that’s why our religion education starts at birth. (Please, I don’t mean to offend anybody, just my thoughts)

I love this blog. You have raised most of the big, flame-inducing issues and I’ve yet to see nastiness. It’s nice.

This has been a personal struggle for me recently. I think I have what I believe in figured out. Sort of. I believe in a higher power. I believe in heaven. I like some messages of the bible. I like being able to lay in bed at night and hand off my worries and troubles in the form of one sided conversation with whomever or whatever that higher power is. When my son had brain surgery in January of ’06, I spent A LOT of time talking to him/her/it/them every night before I went to sleep. Without being able to voice my fears without completely freaking out my husband, I would have crumbled. I needed to be able to get that heavy feeling off my chest or I couldn’t go to sleep at night. I am still doing that every night. And if it isn’t something I need to voice because I’m worried about it, I spend time being thankful and appreciative of all of the wonderful things in my life. Which sounds so smarmy when I read it. But it works for me.

I came to all of those conclusions when I had a major crisis of faith. It took me a little while to realize that I wasn’t angry with God/higher power, I was angry with SO many different church’s interpretations of the bible. I have problems with people who stand in judgment of others, specifically those who judge homosexuality. Right on the heels of that, is my difficulty believing that God/higher power is going to wipe out anyone who doesn’t believe in any one particular religion’s belief. THAT is not the person I’m talking to and believing in.

So I consider myself to be spiritual, but not belonging to any one particular religion. It works for me, really well.

I am a Christian in that I believe in God and in Jesus Christ. I became a Christian 3 years ago (I’m 31) and it is something I do believe to be true in my heart. I always kind of felt that way, but I wasn’t really raised “in the church” and I came into my faith on my own. I attend a nice, calm non-denominational church and our pastor is a very gentle and humble person.

I believe in the Bible and believe there is a huge difference between the Old Testament (Jewish law, Jewish history, prophecy, etc.) and the New Testament (Jesus’ ministry, teachings, etc.). I also think people try to read too much into the Bible and use it as a weapon. I believe there is right and there is wrong, but it isn’t my place to go pointing the wrongs in everyone else’s life. “Thou shalt not judge” and all of that. I don’t believe in knocking on doors and trying to convert everyone I come into contact with, either. But, I will share my faith when asked – otherwise the rest is God’s business, not mine.

I enjoy the Psalms and the Proverbs as a guide in my own life and I make it a point to pray every day.

I am regular person; I am married, I volunteer, I am back in school, job at a hospital, etc. I have a lot more peace in my life now and I am a kinder, gentler person (not that I was a brute before, but I had my moments).

I was raised Mormon, and still am. But, I think I would call myself a Buddhist/Mormon…maybe Mormon/Buddhist. Anyway. I think you should allow yourself the time to feel this one out. It’s natural (says me) to “search” when a new life enters yours, and I say just watch and listen. The universe never fails to guide those who truly listen and seek. Keep your heart and eyes open.

Hi there! First of all I read your blog everyday and you are an absolute crack up!You are one of those true blue people that isn’t afaid to be you.
I’m a mom of four girls and “Oh My “.I have many stories.Going on to the religion part.I was raised as one of Jehovahs witnesses.When I went out on my own I decided to have no religion even though I still believed in God..Just recently I suffered an injury and became very depressed.I started studying the bible again with a life long family friend who is Jehovahs witness.It is so hard to catagorize people into groups.I know in my heart there is still so much good in people in all walks of life.I firmly believe in the bible.I do not agree with the judging of each other at all.What I do know is that after reading the bible and praying I have felt so much calmer and at ease.I also am losing that empty feeling I had like I
was living aimlessly.I believe that God loves us all.He has created sooooo
much to love.Have you watched the show on national geographic ?I think it’s Amazing Planet??So much thought ,heart ,humor,etc was put into every
thing we have here.Anyways you asked for your readers comments.There you go.Its obvious you are an awesome Muthah! ;) So lots of luck and go with your heart.You will find what brings you peace!

Get thee to Amazon post-haste and buy yourself a copy of “Entheogens and the Future of Religion”. One single entheogenic session, about 10 years ago, gave me the spiritual life I’d been missing. I’ve never needed or wanted do it again, either. Once was perfectly enough. Highly recommended!

I was raised Pentecostal Christian, and have had faith in some kind of God ever since I was a child. I’m often uncertain of what kind of God this is, but I’ve always had a sense that there was something there. Seeing as how one can never really be sure (because what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?), I choose to believe that there is a heaven and a hell, and live my life with that in mind. My reason for this is that if I am wrong, oh well — nothing lost, and I am, as you say, worm food. If I’m right, then I’m hopefully more likely to end up in heaven than in hell. Of course, this could be the very definition of what my pastor always called a “lukewarm Christian,” in which case I am most likely hellbound, if the bible is true. I wish I had more time and energy to go into further detail, seeing as how I probably sound like a nutjob, but I don’t, so suffice it to say: At this point, I’m giving God the benefit of the doubt.

Secondly, with the “Riley bites” issue, I feel the need to to share a photo with you. It was part of a parenting flyer from which you could possibly have benefited, if I hadn’t decided to only capture the funny part. I can’t find wherever I put it on the internet, though, now that I’m looking for it, so I’ll just e-mail it to you. And I will cross my fingers for you that Riley is not a zombie.

Wow. Deep topic (but a great one)! I have been a Zen Buddhist for almost 10 years. Since our daughter was born 3 years ago, I’ve slacked off on the meditation end, but the ideas (and ideals) guide me for sure, but in a mellow way. If that makes sense. We use abbreviated stories as bedtime stories/lessons for our daughter, for example: “hey, sometimes we’re happy and sometimes we’re sad — everything changes,” and — “patience is good, sometimes you just have to wait and see.” (Also, and there’s no Zen story for this but, “if you kick the cat again, she may just bite you and, jesus, haven’t you learned that yet?”) I grew up as a Christian, in a really open household, but it never made sense to me, so here I am. (Have you read “Letter to a Christian Nation?) I like Buddhism, because the only “truth” is in me.

My dad and I had a very, very special bond- we were soulmates. He had Multiple Sclerosis, and when I was 20 years old, he died of pneumonia in my arms. The nurses coded him, but I wouldn’t leave his body- I was crying, and begging him to come back, please come back. He had been dead for more than five minutes when he began to breathe again. The hospice nurses were amazed, but told me he had come back for me. I knew he couldn’t stay- he had to go, it was his time. (He had suffered from MS for 30 years and was bedridden.) He came back, I think, to make it easier for me. I told him it was okay to go, to leave, I would be fine. And then he stopped breathing, for the last time.

Wherever he went that first time, he came back from it for me. I always knew my dad would sacrifice everything for me, and he tried- that beloved man gave up eternal rest for me, to come back to a life of pain and suffering, because I asked.

I have never actively pursued religion. It’s just always been a matter of knowing- I know there is a place we go, I know there is something higher, philosophically, than us- whether that something is the cosmic universe or a being, I can’t say. But there’s somewhere we go, that we are all together. My dad showed me that.

Incidentally, about a year after he passed away, I was getting over the ending of my first engagement and wondering about my future. One night I had a dream that I was married to this short, dark haired guy in glasses that I teasingly called ‘Doctor’. We were moving into our first house and I gave him a kitten as a housewarming gift. Then I spotted my dad at the door, and left my husband to go for a walk with my dad. We walked through a large clearing towards a deep, shadowed wood. My dad told me I would always be happy, that my husband and I were both dreamers, and sometimes that would hurt us, but in the end- we would always be happy. I told him I loved him as we reached the wood, and he walked into it while I walked back to the house. Then I woke up.

Almost exactly a year later, I met my husband. He has dark hair, glasses, and is a PhD student. And he loves cats.

I was raised Catholic and really never connected with it. As an adult, I held no beliefs for a long time, now I am rethinking things. Like, maybe are we are all connected and in these bodies to do work you can only do in a body. Maybe we aren’t alone?? I’m not too into the organized stuff, but I feel like looking for a little more in my life. I’ve been doing some sitting and listening without expectation. It’s a funny question for me today. My mom fell and broke her hand and when I was driving home after I dropped her off, my car was hit and totalled. We’re okay, it all could have been so much worse. But, man, it’s all so fragile!!

I’m pagan (I practice witchcraft), though I don’t claim it or any thing else as a religion, I do claim it as ‘spirituality’. For me this means that I believe in taking responsibility in my actions, and I believe that I have a bit of control over what goes on in my life. I work with herbs and crystals and stones, I meditate, and I celebrate the seasons of the year and what they represent in life – past, present, and future. Though I believe this goes without saying, it’s such a common misconception that I feel I should clarify… it also means I don’t believe in harming others, especially not for my own gain.

It sounds like I’m the same as you: faith appeals to me, but I lack it, and I don’t believe people can “choose to” believe in something–you either have the belief or you don’t. My mom, who thinks it’s a matter of choice, wouldn’t be able to believe in fairies or auras by choosing to do so.

I’m an agnostic, not an atheist, and the distinction is important to me. Another commenter said that everyone’s an agnostic because no one knows, but I’d say that agnostics KNOW they don’t know (and in fact that’s the meaning of the word “agnostic”), whereas believers and atheists usually think they DO know: believers that there is a god, agnostics that there isn’t.

Also, how is it that you can start conversations about guns, abortion, or religion, and everyone plays nice in the comments section? That seems like it’s impossible, and yet here it is. I think it is some kind of Sundry magic.

I believe in God, and in His son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. I attend a non-denominational church that is far from “weird” or “Jesus-freak-ish”. I find comfort in knowing that there is someone looking out for me, someone I can turn to any second of the day, who wants what is best for me and who will always love me. I belong to Him and I feel blessed. Its comfortable to know that you don’t have to do it all on your own. That when things feel like they couldn’t get any worse, there is someone to turn to that will pick you up and take your burdens. He gives you rest.

Like some others have said, I encourage you to act upon your feelings. If you feel such a strong desire for some sort of belief, that desire is there for a reason. Check religion out! Open up your heart and mind to it … you never know what might happen =)

P.S. More Riley photos and stories please and thank you! He is a doll!

I don’t believe in organized religions, and would like to believe in God, but just can’t find it in myself to do so.
I’m getting to the realization that what I believe is more on the native american religion’s side of things, take care of the earth, it is taking care of you. It is also as far as I know the kind of religion that doesn’t make war on other religions, or force anyone into their beliefs, and is fluid enough to allow you in or out. The basic teaching is that you have to know yourself, do no harm to others especially the earth, and be thankful for what you have. Be respectful.
It is in step with paganism, the celebration of the seasons etc. Meditation, which is truly just slowing down long enough to listen to yourself think.

Bottom line is that we believe in you Linda. And we all think that you have been correct in studying up on zombies, because Riley has now shown his true zombie colors, and you are lucky that it was not your head next to his mouth, although I don’t know if the eleventy gajillion teeth that you have suffered through him cutting would be able to bite through your skull to eat your brain. LOL

And JB? Why? Because it’s there? He couldn’t have waited till summertime? Let us know when he is back so we can stop worrying.

I used to think of myself as agnostic. But then I came to realize that was just another cop-out way for me to avoid committing. Sort of a cowardly “just in case” approach. I have a lot more respect for myself now that I declare forthrightly I’m an aetheist.

I’ve never been a religious person myself, and while I do consider myself to be spiritual, I don’t believe in the concept of God as a seperate entity. I’ve always been completely fascinated with Buddhism. A friend of mine and I are going to start going to a center here that does meditation and gives classes on the history of it as well as the practice of it. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but always put off. I guess I’m getting to a point in my life now where I feel the need for it.

I’m spiritual and follow no specific religion. However, I do like ‘The Four Agreements.’ It’s something that you can share with Riley when he gets older.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html

Oops. I forgot to type in my info in the above comment about ‘The Four Agreements.’ I also wanted to mention that Heaven for me is right is Vermont, where I live. I’ve traveled all over the world but always am relieved to be back home. There’s even a neat poem called “There are no Vermonters in Heaven.” Check it out:

http://www.vtonly.com/lorejan2.htm

Wow. First time here and what a doozy of a question. I am similar to J above. I am a Christian. I was not raised that way, but had always believed in God.

I hesitate to say Christian sometimes because of the negative connotations. I believe in Jesus and that He is the Son of God. I have researched it thoroughly and know it to be true. I don’t want to put my faith in something that’s just warm and fuzzy or spiritual. I want to believe something solid. And I do. It is.

That being said, I’m no stick in the mud either. God made me that way, and who am I to argue? :)

Raised LDS (Mormon) and still am. It’s not always an easy road, but I think the most important part for me is I really soul-searched and truly believe this apart from my upbringing. We absolutely believe we can be with our family forever if we live worthy of that and after having my baby last year, it took on a whole new meaning for me. I completely get what you are saying. I struggle with faith and prayer, but that’s my struggle. It has it’s ups & downs, but I absolutely believe in God and I’m completely faithful to my religion and it’s teachings.

What I hate the most are the stereotypes of any religion, maybe because I’m so sensitive to them. I get them, being LDS, all the time (and when people realize I am divorced, remarried, having only one kid and a democrat and a devout Mormon, I think their head explodes!) and I try not to abide by stereotypes myself – religions are made up of every type of person, but they all have something in common. They are looking for *something* in there lives. Who are we (in that general sort of “we”) to knock that? One point of my upbringing / religion is tolerance & love for everyone. I think that is so key. Imagine everything you could learn or have your own opinion solidified even more firmly if you were tolerant and engaged in meaningful conversation?

I find religion fascinating and even more so, people’s journeys to religion. What they believe and how and why. It helps me know what I believe a little better. And that’s never a bad thing! (Man. I hope I’m making sense!!)

(and can I just say I completely agree with Swistle? I couldn’t imagine the craziness that would ensue on this topic anywhere other than your blog!)

I was raised Roman Catholic. I left the church when I was 16. There was something about that sermon that homosexuals going to hell and being bad people that just didn’t sit right with me. Love one another as I have loved you…unless you don’t meet my criteria of being lovable? No thank you! When I moved out West I started to reconnect with my spirituality, I think it had something to do with intense therapy and healing from an eating disorder. But it wasn’t organized religion based, it is more of a personal relationship with a Higher Power. Not God, I just feel that something is there. I do still pray, but now always start my prayer as “God & Goddess”. My husband is Jewish, wasn’t raised Jewish and hasn’t been Bar Mitzvah’ed, but felt very strongly that our kids should be raised Jewish. I’m OK with that, told him the day they come to us and say they want to stop, they are allowed to stop. (as opposed to going to church with their best friend on Saturday afternoon and hiding in McDonald’s for fear of the wrath of a Catholic Mom). He has started going to Temple again, something with our daughter, infrequently with me. Not really sure what I’m getting at here, other than I understand your struggle and not quite sure what the answer is. Good luck.

I wasn’t really raised anything (my mom wasn’t religious growing up) but my dad’s side of the family is Mormon and after I went to live in Idaho as a freshman in High School, I was baptized into the Mormon faith (more to please my grandmother than anything else I think). I’ve stayed Mormon (my husband is Mormon, we were married in the Idaho Falls temple) but my personal inner faith/belief strays slightly from the hardline Mormon doctrine–I don’t see the problem with homosexuality, I can’t wrap my head around a heaven that my grandma who isn’t religious can’t be in, I have no desire to convert others to my faith or think that their faith is the ‘wrong’ faith, etc. Even though there are times when I just want to roll my eyes (in church) and feel chafed under some of what are strong points in my church, my inner faith and my personal relationship with God is comfortable and works for me.
Even before I became Mormon though, I would say that I’ve always believed in a Higher power–for me the idea that there is no plan, no Creator, just never occurred.

I was raised Presbyterian but I stopped going to church at age 9 (look, I had to get up at the crack of dawn for school all week and I like sleep). Vaguely believed in the idea of God and Christ as his son through high school, then went to college where I started learning about more faiths and reading criticisms of Christianity and religion in general. I went through a period of soul-searching, and decided there was no reason for me to believe Christianity over, say, Norse mythology, so halfway through college I decided I was agnostic. More recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually atheist. Religion just . . . isn’t a part of my life, and I don’t really think about it until it’s brought up in the news or in something I’m reading. I actually don’t even feel that desire FOR faith much anymore; I get that sense of calm and wonder from helping people, loving, and looking at the world around me.

I believe in God and that he created the earth. I believe that when we die we will be reunited with loved ones and that there will be a paradise either here on earth or in heaven. I can’t imagine living on this earth without that hope, because although I have a wonderful life and I love it, the thought of this life on this earth being all there is kind of depressing. I don’t believe in taking the bible word for word literally. I believe people should be able to live their lives without judgement as long as they are not hurting anyone. And I believe in the “judge not lest you be judged” adage.

I am an atheist, which describes what I don’t believe in: the supernatural. And I am a humanist, which describes what I do believe in: humans’ tremendous power to affect our own lives and the lives of others, positively and negatively.

Unlike some other posters, I do not long for faith at all. In fact, I find the concept of faith — a person’s ability to fervently or even passingly believe in something that defies sense and for which there is no scientific reason to believe in — quite frightening. It’s that kind of thinking that stands in the way of scientific progress, medical advances, human rights.

I reject the notion that people should have a system of supernatural rewards and punishments to goad them into behaving ethically and decently toward one another. I want to be good to other people because mutual respect and kindness make for good societies. We are all in this together. (That’s the humanist aspect.)

People sometimes seem very alarmed when they discover that I am an atheist (a happy atheist!) and ask me how I can be happy when I believe there’s no meaning to life. But as an atheist, life is sweeter to me. This is it! One shot! I want to make it good for myself, good for my loved ones, and good for as many others as I can. This beautiful, complicated, mysterious world — of which our Earth is but a tiny fraction, whose science we are still scrambling to figure out — is a source of endless fascination to me.

I haven’t read it yet, but I am going to pick up “Parenting Beyond Belief” very soon, which is a new collection of essays on raising children by notable atheists, agnostics, and humanists. I would imagine that it addresses some of the ideas you’re thinking about.

Take care!

Okay– you know I am way to invested in the blogs I read when I see “2 hikers killed on Mt McKinley” and my heart skips a beat until I realize JB is on Mount Hood this weekend.

I am an Atheist and having a child has not changed that, if anything, it has made me more firm in my beliefs. Teej has stated my own feelings in a perfect and eloquent manner.

To quote Stephen Colbert, “Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?” :)

This is the first time I’ve come across your site and from reading past posts and seeing what wonderful, intelligent, insightful readers you have, I am wuite sad I missed out before but glad to be here now.

This question hit a chord with me as this is something I toss and turn with all the time. We are raising our daughter agnostic, as my husband and I are, and part of me always wonders if I am depriving her of the safety net of comfort in religion that I had as a child.

One of the most poignant things I rememberd was the nighttime prayer which always helped me drift to sleep feeling safe, warmed, and loves.

‘Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take’

I knew if anything happened to me, I would be safe. Now, faithless, I am not so sure, and often, that scares me.

This topic prompted me to write my own post that made me think, cry, and smile. Thanks for probing my brain on a rainy Saturday at home with a sick one-year-old where my most scintillating observation is that her snot is not yellow anymore. ;)

I agree with you and many of the other posters: at best, I am agnostic but I do consider myself spiritual. I’ve often wished (though less so in my adult life) for the comfort, peace of mind, and certainty of religious Faith. But I just don’t have it and don’t buy most of the dogma most religions seem to insist upon.

As for Riley’s biting you, that must really bite. HA-HA. But seriously, my mother told me that I bit her once, and that she immediately bit me back. That was the first and the last time I ever bit her or anyone else.

I think I remember the day I tried the biting (I do remember many things from a very young age), and if my memory is correct, what I recall is less the pain of being bitten than utter shock at being bitten by my mother. I remember thinking that the bite hurt, but mostly that I was insulted that my mother had bitten me. It wasn’t very nice of her! and somehow she seemed . . . undiginified or immature for doing it. I got the point: biting isn’t nice and a person looks silly when doing it to another person.

Not that I completely grapsed all the subtleties, but biting suddenly seemed rather petty. I think kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for, or at least they can get the gist of things, even if they can’t put them entirely in context and use appropriate vocabulary to articulate their thoughts and feelings.

I believe in a higher being, and in one’s own personal heaven where families are reunited if you want to be reunited, or you can play ps3 all day long and never have to pay…

That’s about it.. I look at all faiths as being true and all gods and goddesses as being various forms of the same higher being. I was never raised in a religion strictly. I was raised celebrating christmas for the idea of gift giving and being charitable. Easter was all about the Easter Bunny. I did go to a Sunday School and a Christian DayCare, and I prayed, attended some services. However it never became a part of my life aside from being there. It still isn’t a part of my life. I classify myself as Agnostic because I don’t want to be tied down to any religion because there are parts I disagree and agree with in all of them.

My children will learn like I did. They will be exposed to the traditional American holidays and values. They will know the Christian story, but they will also learn about other religions and will respect other religions if I have my way about it. They can choose what they want to be when they want to.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, how’s the pajama rage going? My husband and I are in full agreement that we will be dealing with the same issue in the future, so any additional tips would be oh-so helpful.

You have the nicest comments section. I usually hate reading comments especially when they devolve into a hate match. So now I feel like if all of these readers are so nice and telling you their thoughts I want to type something in too, because this is a group I don’t mind joining. I was raised Catholic and I am an atheist. The Catholic part is now like an ethnicity because the learning the rituals as a child informs my life as an adult. Now I just have a very strong sense of self and community that supports me during rough times.
On the biting I think your reaction was just right. I couldn’t leave a comment about that on club mom because I read the comments as far as the bite him back people and I had to go away. If he does bite again try to remember to lean into the bite don’t pull away, this is hard to do but will cause you less pain and usually surprises the biter into letting go. I speak from experience. When kids are little its easy to just swoop in and pick them up when they are acting nuts, but I always try to imagine that if someone did that to me I would probably be pissed and bite or kick them too, especially if I didn’t know enough words to curse them out yet.

I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.

I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.

I am Seventh-Day Adventist. I went to the church schools all my life, rebelled, went through the typical young adult “what is truth” phase and then really started studying out of curiousity. When you learn for yourself, NOT by listening to what others say, it is an amazing experience. I found that so much of the bible was true, that prophecies were really fulfilled to the day they said they would be, that the bible coincided with history perfectly, that the bible gave us clues to the universe that science wouldn’t discover until later . . . it was a very good feeling to learn that there IS something out there and the answers ARE right in front of us, if we choose to look. I started feeling like, if many parts of the bible are true and if the bible does not contradict itself then all of the bible is true and I am screwing myself like pretending it doesn’t exist! Anyway, I always try to encourage others to just take the time to learn and study and look into it . . . it can be a really big thing to miss out on.