May
24
A cat can be slotted into one’s existence with relative ease but a dog is a Whole Entire Thing and so I do feel fairly upended again these days, although I have largely passed the “was it all a terrible mistake” phase of any big life change.
Something new in my routine is standing in the backyard at night while Mabel does her business. I have not spent a consistent amount of time under the night sky in a long time and I am finding it restorative in a touch-grass sort of way. I mean it is also a big pain to put on real clothes post-bath and go out there and I hope by the time the weather is truly dreary she won’t need a chirpy “go potty, c’mon go potty” partner at her side but in the meantime I am enjoying being regularly dazzled by the stars and the impossible-seeming vastness of it all. The moon has been especially bright the last few days and last night it looked like an x-ray of a lemon slice.
I had already been talking to Billy but now I carry out full one-sided conversations most of my days at home, Mabel’s main response to being spoken to is to wriggle with joy and with such a warm reception how could I not develop a maybe-weird narration habit? Sometimes I singsong my activities: paper towels go in that cupboard there, this here yogurt goes in the frigidaire… while Billy watches with avid curiosity and Mabel does ecstatic tippy-taps.
There’s no loneliness with these guys, they trail me everywhere. Everything is a bit messy now too, toys strewn about and sticky tree pods tracked in from the backyard and the pervasive whiff of Nature’s Miracle in the air. Sometimes I think back on the time before pets when I was wholly unfettered and only had to clean up after myself and how delicious that was, but of course it’s like children. Incompatible with tidy care-free living; worth it.
A dog does a better job at helping fill the ache of missing hands-on parenting, I think. There are potty schedules and various things that require care, while a cat can slink into the background and coolly smoke a cigarette on its own. With a dog you get a little of that shared dopamine feeling where their enthusiasm lifts your own spirits. They can be needy and it can feel so very good to be needed.
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I love watching Mabel’s tail. It never stops. I used to say I am a dog person who will always have cats. Your description of the niches they fill is spot on.
The joy dogs express when you return from the mailbox, and they watched you the whole time is something I will never get tired of. The catitude of, “Oh, were you gone all day? I hardly noticed.” Makes me laugh. My son, who is not particularly fond of pets in general was highly insulted one time when my daughter’s cat was here at “Camp Grandma.” Poor kitty suffers severe separation anxiety. She just tolerates being here.One afternoon she decided to mosey down the hall, walked into my son’s room, glared at him, and hissed at him. Such catitude. I laugh when daughter asks her why she insists upon being such an a$$hole.
There are times when petting my small Havanese who absolutely revels in attention that I have the thought “any part of my day not spent petting you is a waste of time.” She’s just so cuddly and happy!
Hard relate! (the last post, toooooooo) xo