July 13, 2007

(Ooh! Happy Friday the 13th!)

Workplace decided to buy every interested employee an iPhone, and on the day the phone became available everyone went down to the Apple store and waited in the long-ass line and ate pizza and played cards and reportedly had quite a fantastic time. Judging by the flurry of emails Sent From My iPhone that swirled around during the weekend that followed—ostensibly giving each other tips on connecting to home WiFi networks and configuring this and that, but they could all be boiled down to “I CAN HAS IPHONE zOMG!”—people were more than pleased with their music-playing, movie-displaying, visual-voicemail email SMS cameraphone hunks of burning burning love.

(Why did Workplace invest in all these shiny new toys? Occam’s Razor explains this generosity far better than the murky ‘business reasons’ cited: it’s a new gizmowhatsit from Apple, and it’s cool.)

I missed all the excitement, because we were off on vacation. Now that I’ve seen firsthand some of the sexy, sexy things the iPhone does (pinch zoom, slot-machine-like rolling calendar dates, rimjobs, etc), I’m of course DYING to get my own (suckily, I now have a 2-4 week wait), and I feel like a total DINOSAUR at Workplace where everyone’s ringtone is the iPhone chime noise and people are texting away and doing that side-turn thing to display photos and my own phone can only, like, place phone calls (how 2005!).

It’s true that I need an iPhone the way I need a very expensive pony, which is to say not at all, but who am I to deny Workplace’s well-meaning but inexplicable urge to outfit its employees with Apple’s latest gear? Also, what does it say about me that of all the iPhone’s whistles and bells, the feature I think I am most pants-peeingly excited about is the ability to read blog comments and emails—remotely? You know, as if I ever go anywhere.

In other news, after a sweltering 95+ degree day on Wednesday I woke up to thunderstorms this morning, and at the moment the skies are practically pitch black and making threatening, I-ate-too-much-pizza rumbling noises, and it just started pouring a torrential build-the-ark downpour, and what the HELL, Seattle? PICK A LANE.

We haven’t played the weekend game in a while, have we? Let’s do it: what are you doing this weekend? Me, I need to pack up my kitchen because in theory the walls are getting torn down very soon, we’re thinking of taking Riley to the Cougar Mountain Zoo (because dude: LEMURS), and I imagine there will be as always multiple trips to Home Depot, Ace Hardware, and Half Price Books (behold my rockstar lifestyle).

Your turn!

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