July 22, 2007

Every now and then someone emails me to ask about the Seattle weather, usually because they’re considering moving to the area and they want to know if it’s really as bad as people say. I have no good answer for this, because weather is one of those subjective things, and also because the weather here is so hard to describe. It’s definitely dreary and wet for many months out of the year, but not relentlessly so: in between those days you get the kind of weather that makes you happy to be alive: clean, crisp, unspeakably beautiful. I usually love the weather in the Pacific Northwest, it’s mild and the air tastes good and your skin never gets peely.

HOWEVER. It has now been raining for like a MILLION DAYS IN A ROW (okay, maybe five? BUT STILL), and it is JULY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. It’s stiflingly warm outside which makes everything humid and repulsive, like a panting dog’s breath all over your body, and our yard is a swampland filled with mud and probably alligators. I am TIRED of the rain, and the stickiness, and the amount of collateral damage that can be caused by one toddler with wet dogshit smashed into his shoe.

To be completely honest, I think the rain and the cabin-fever feeling are freaking me out because I’m looking ahead to February, when I’m going to be mostly trapped inside with a newborn and a toddler, oh my god, oh my god, that is going to be crazy. I mean . . . jesus. What were we thinking? Are we out of our goddamned minds?

Whoo. Ahem. See, that’s what a million several days of rain in the best part of summer can do to you. You should move here, because it’s awesome, but bring some Prozac. Oh, and a raincoat.

Preferably one with a frog on it:

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By the way, am I the only person left on earth who hasn’t been gripped by PotterMania? I read the first couple books and enjoyed them just fine, then just sort of forgot to read the rest. I feel like I should finish the series, because clearly I’m missing out, but it seems like a dangerously slippery slope . . . one day you’re cracking open your first book, the next you’re drawing a zigzag on your forehead and camping outside of Barnes & Noble. Basically, I’m the clueless dolt in the back of the crowd at Jonestown, going “Hey, where’d you get that fruit punch?”

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