Jan
29
First of all, if any of you are also currently eating from the Fuckit Bucket, may I most sincerely recommend making yourself a Gooey Butter Cake. Take that sumbitch out of the oven about 10 minutes early, too, so it’s really gooey. Sure, you might need to go at it with a spoon rather than a fork, but that’s a small price to pay for putting the dessert equivalent of a full-body massage (WITH “happy ending”) in your mouth.
Also, please to be appreciating my fancy toes:
Sorry, I should have warned you before just sticking my feet all up in your face like that. I know some people are thoroughly skeeved by feet just like some people get weird lustful toe-boners and I hope you fall into the foot camp I’m in, which can basically be described as: Feet Are Benign Objects That Neither Call Me With Their Sexy Siren Song Nor Make Me Dry-Heave In Disgust.
That polish will probably be there six months from now, sadly. Oh, and I did look for Engorged Labia in my color choices but had to settle for whatever this was called — From Russia With Love, I think? Something wacky like that; makeup product managers must love it when they’re allowed to venture out of the “Peachy Keen” box.
The actual application-of-color part of a manicure or pedicure is nice enough, but it’s really all about the wonderful things they do to you beforehand, especially if you spring for the spa variety and get the bubbly foot soak and all. I even like the semi-terrifying paraffin dip, where you purposefully put your extremities in boiling-hot wax for reasons I’ve never understood yet still enjoy.
So I had my wonderful mani/pedi, and today I got my hair trimmed — just enough to put some longevity in the cut, I hope — and now I can focus on the important business of slothing around for the rest of the week. I’m going to read trashy magazines and surf all of your websites (heLLO, could you maybe update more often?) and make half-hearted attempts to make sure the house is ready for a baby and that we’ve put away all the bear traps and jugs of poison etc and will in all likelihood continue to mysteriously attract trolls at ParentDish while writing the most vanilla, non-contentious mommyblog entries on earth.
Also, there will be Gooey Butter Cake. Quite a lot of it, I’m afraid.
Wow, that gooey cake actually looks good. At first I wasn’t sure, but I clicked on the link and yes, it does indeed look like something I’d greatly enjoy shoveling in my eager little mouth. :) Cute toes. Love the color. Have fun this week, I hope bebe comes soon! One of my friends is due any second now, too, and she can’t wait to push her lil’ man out. Well, I imagine she’s not too excited about the actual giving birth part, but she is excited about not being pregnant anymore and finally meeting the lil’ guy…
God, woman, aren’t 9-month pregnant feet usually waterlogged lumps bursting the seams of shoes at this stage? Look at those slender feet. They look like they belong to a Manolo model.
(My feet would look like they’d been gobbling gooey butter cake for several months.)
With your hennaed belly, beautiful toes, and manicured hair you’re going to be a star in the delivery room.
Enjoy the week ahead!
Very cute toenail polish! I just did an at-home pedicure for myself (for I am cheap, oh so cheap) with a similar shade of red. The best part about pedicures is the color really does last forever, so hopefully you will still be rockin’ the red polish long after the Smalltopus has arrived and left you no time for foot fancifying.
(Also! The parent dish people! OMG! O-M-Effing-G, with the pet stores!)
I was thinking the same about your non-puffy feet. Amazing.
I had the same toenail colour the last time I had mine done.
Enjoy this next week, and the baby to come :)
Jeez… make me feel guilty already for not having updated my blog in weeks.
My last pedicure was the weekend before my c-section. My son is now three months old and all I have left is a sad little square of color on my big toes. You’d think I could at least summon the energy to get some polish remover out, but yeah.
I’m also impressed to see the bone structure in your feet. Mine were looked like overstuffed sausages after like week 12 of pregnancy.
Enjoy the cake and your week, you SO deserve it!
lovely toe-nail polish. one of my favorite things about our delivery room pictures is that you can see my perfectly manicured nails, on my hands and feet. i definitely think it’s a pre-birth must!
good luck relaxing and gooey-cake eating this week.
Gooey butter cake is a St. Louis tradition– it’s available in every grocery store around here, as a matter of course. And yes, it is UNBELIEVABLY delicious. It never occured to me that I could make it at home (it’s at best a once yearly kind of thing, because super fatty? ABSOLUTELY)… which is definitely a good thing. I need to not look at that recipe ever again, because it looks super easy. Goddammit, I’m going to add it to my recipe box, aren’t I? WHY?!
And your toes look lovely. I definitely have never seen the fuss about feet either way. Sexy? Blurgh, no. Revolting? That’s weird, of course not. Functional? Yes, thank god!
But yours are looking much nicer than mine– I always have assorted calluses and rough patches. I finally took off my 3 month old nailpolish a month ago, but haven’t applied more since it’s winter. And I never moisturize my feet, although my boyfriend did give me a lovely foot massage yesterday with some avocado body butter… ah. Best they’ve felt in a looong time.
Nice polish color, too!
Your feet are gorgeous. I am so happy you got to have your pedicure!
I went into labor three weeks early on the day I had scheduled my one and only pre labor pedicure and I really thought about going anyway. Or seeing if they would come the hospital. I went for a make up one a few weeks later but it wasn’t the same. I’m ashamed to admit I’m still bitter about the whole thing.
I second the foot comments. Your feet look lovely and not a bit like the horrifying, trussed hams I was dragging around by week 39.
Pretty toes. Holy, mother, look at that cake. Good thing there’s no way for me to get my hands on a cake mix.
Also, here in Shanghai, every other corner has a place where you can get a $6-$10 foot massage (+ calf, + shoulders, + head if you pay the $10 and it’s at a fancy spa where you can get waxed for $15, too). And I’m sorry for bragging, but not very much, because I am actually stuck here in obnoxious-ville. And I’m sorry to anybody who loves Shanghai to all heights, but…oh, forget it.
Looking very much forward to news about the little dude.
Toes….it’s just the little pinky toes that are the wierdos i reckon…
You have such pretty feet! I have crazy gnarly sloth toes due to drawing the genetic short straw and years of dance so I am always jealous of nice feet.
Also, I’m going to have to try that cake! There can be no fault with something that includes “GOOEY” and “BUTTER” in the title.
Kinda sad knowing that your posts will be few in the coming weeks, but totally stoked that you’re moving in to this new phase in your life so fricking beautifully…
Ok, so, the last three sentences started were creepy-internet-stalker-y/ over-sentimental for someone I’ve never met… so, I’ll say, I send to YOU, JB, Riley, and little D wishes for love, peace (newborn, mmmkay), and sweet happiness.
You rock.
Man…my first exposure to gooey butter cake came from your blog a few years years ago. It is so delicious. I recently made it for an office dessert contest, and absolutely mauled the competition. Thanks for reminding me of its deliciousness.
Holy mother of god, do I want some of that cake! Sadly, I am not permitted to eat from the Fuckit Bucket and instead will spend my free time this weekend running like a good girl. Also, I’m tres jealous of your pretty feet — mine have been ruined by genetics and the aforementioned running. I polish my toenails to distract people from looking at the rest feet. Sigh.
How are your feet not swollen? I would have never guessed you were @ the end of your pregnancy. I hate you. I have Barney Rubble feet. Even with the pedicure I got weeks ago (Baby is L-A-T-E), my feet still look like ass.
I miss my feet bones. . . :(
What is WITH ParentDish commenters? It’s like BabyCenter, where the bulletin boards start all “OMG I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!!!” and about 5 minutes later are in one of those cartoon dust clouds with fists and shoes and weapons poking out.
OOOOOH Gooey butter cake! That’s right up my alley!
Also I am in the same boat as you with the feet thing, they’re feet, we walk on them. Yours look lovely I might add.
I’ve been wanting to make a gooey butter cake for ages. I may now save it for that last week before I’m due, as it sounds like a perfect way to celebrate that last week of being an incubator.
Oh your feet are lovely — which I mean in a totally benign sort of way.
I’m really excited for you and will be waiting soooo anxiously for the news of the baby. If I survive until Monday that is because the virus of death that has been traveling around these parts finally landed squarely on my head and man, when you’re pregnant, you can’t even take any of the good drugs. Bleh.
Enjoy eating from the buckit and generally relaxing as much as possible for the next few days!
P.S. I need to learn to proofread, I can obviously spell bucket (as opposed to buckit) but I think I was confusing it with fuckit. Easy to do when your head is stuffed with cotton. Sorry!
That cake sounds great. Oh, and I did just update but I got some skeezey undergrad frat boy looking guy responing with “sleep, darling” and when I told him how I felt about his comment he wrote me back with “just warning,beware.” Um…wtf? I think I need to change everything now. Enjoy slothing around.
Ah, the gooey butter cake. You can make it with chocolate bottom and peanut butter middle! Pumpkin is of course fantastic as well. In one of Paula Deen’s cookbooks she lists about 20 variations, and they are pretty much all orgasmically good.
Wow, that cake looks awesome. That link was much more drool-inducing than the placenta link.
What movie did you choose?
I hope your week goes by as quickly or as slowly as you’d like and that you’re comfortable. Your toes look great – can’t wait to see the new little person.
Damn! You can still see the bones in your feet! I looked like a fricking marshmallow right before giving birth.
Very pretty toes (don’t worry, I mean that in a “not wanting to lick them” sorta way).
I was surprised when I realized how many pictures of my feet I have. I really don’t have a fetish, I just think they are interesting.
Hope you enjoy your week of slothing. Did you inform Riley? LOL.
I just updated. In case you care. :-)
Nice toes! I am completely hooked on the mani/pedi routine. Hope you find the chance to keep it up if you so chose after STP arrives which is literally going to be ANY DAY NOW!
I had a scheduled induction and my husband and I were both expecting the hospital to ask us to come down way earlier than they actually allowed us to come. We called at 6am and they denied us entry until 11pm that night. Don’t want to freak you out,just warning you. Knowledge IS power, right? I wish I had been warned…although maybe I was and my brain chose to file it in the junk drawer. Anyway, load up on reading material and whatever you need to distract yourself from the wait. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
hey now, i update daily!. gooey butter cake sounds like something paula dean would make. i wish she was my grandma or MIL! Imagine a MIL encourging you to get fat instead of ragging my ass for not losing post partum weight before leaving the hospital.
I watched Paula Deen make Gooey Butter Cake once… and yesterday she made… (are you ready for this?!)… deep fried, bacon-wrapped macaroni and cheese.
Anything from a Paula Deen show would suffice for a Fuckit Bucket urge, I think.
And the feet? Jesus, mine were ping pong paddles by 5 months along. You look GOOD!
Oh lordy — the Gooey Butter Cake is almost exactly the same as my recipe for YOU ARE ALL NOW MY SLAVES. Seriously, with a slight adjustment (1 egg in the cake mix, 3 eggs in the cream cheese goo (instead of 2 and 2)) this is why I look forward to the holidays because both sides of our family regularly bow down to my baking glory. I may try it your variation and see how the texture is different. Mmmmm. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. Gooey Butter Cake AND the hot paraffin dip? Damn, girl.
I guess you deserve it, what with the prolonged gestation and all… :)
Hey, I update almost every day! Bring your enormity over there sometime and hang out. Also, much good luck with Baby #2. My #2 was a DOOZY! She still is. Like a whirlwind that arrived and hasn’t left. If you are familiar with Chicken Soup with Rice, turn to March. That wind blowing down the door is my #2. Ha.
How is it possible that at 38+ weeks pregnant your feet still look normal? Mine were a sad water logged version of their former self by that point. Great color choice, can’t go wrong with trampy red.
Gooey butter cake for breakfast anyone?
Nice toes! I’ve always referred to that shade of red as “Catch Me, Fuck Me” red. If I ever see that name on an actual bottle of red polish I will buy from that particular company until the day I die. And now I’m off to read the Butter Cake recipe cuz, you know, my Chub Rub isn’t bad enough.
What is UP with the ParentDish comments? I was over there last night catching up on your last week or two and was totally blown away. It’s like you could go over there and post a single word, perhaps something like “Spork”, add a picture, and then watch the angry comments roll in. Crazy. It would make me not want to even bother.
Love the polish color – is very festive for the big day…
Your toes look very pretty. I’d die before I subjected some poor lady to my Hobbit feet. That and I can’t stand for anyone to mess with them, period.
I’ve heard tell that the Gooey Cakes were remarkable, but now you’ve completely pushed me over the edge. I’m so making one!
“Too freaky!”
Just kidding. Even though I’m not into feet, I think yours look just fine.
For your post-baby pedi, whether it’s 6 months or 6 weeks later, you should consider Russian Navy or Lincoln Park after Dark – my faves. You can harken back to your goth days while maintaining your chic and stylish mommy aura. :o)
Dude! What’s the deal with those Parent Dish freaks? I had to stop reading your posts over there because the commenters are fucking psychos.
Your toes look muy fantastico!
How can you be so organized? I can’t even get my poop in a group and I don’t have a toddler and I’m not 9 months pregnant. You amaze me. I’m glad STP’s delivery is near and I’m happy that you’ll have a few days to relax before he arrives.
Since someone filed the skin of the tip of my toe once I’m always extra cautious with pedis but I’ve been super curious about the paraffin thing. Is it really that good? My feet are a mess right now and that sounds so fun.
Do not worry about the 6 month color thing. I’m not pregnant and I do that. Just too lazy to take that shit off.
The pedi looks fab! I got one right before my son was born and seriously, it helped the whole labor process just to be able to look down at my well maintained brightly painted toes.
Have a thoroughly relaxing week!
Nice toes! I looove getting pedicures. Enjoy your week!
We did some ad concepts at work that featured a person with their feet up on their desk, and all the focus group comments were a variation of this: “OMG EWWWWWW! FEET! CANNOT COMMENT FURTHER DUE TO THE FEET!!!!!”
thanks for the recipe, it’s my birthday today and I might have to make it for myself this weekend….
Happy Week of Sloth, it’s important to do this before Smalltopuss is here so that you can look back fondly on this week of luxury when you’re up in the middle of the night changing poopy blowouts….
http://www.opaqueprintproduction.com/jbblog
I recommend adding chocolate chips to the Gooey Butter Cake. But that’s just me. And I haven’t been pregnant in 15 years.
I’m actually surprised that there isn’t a nail color called Engorged Labia considering some of the OPI color names like:
Don’t Socra-tease Me!,Blushingham Palace and
Tijuana Dance?
Ditto the other comments regarding Parent Dish… I used to read that site on a fairly regular basis, but since your posts have been unleashing the insanity over there I decided to take a break. What is up with people, seriously???
It’s amazing how a pedicure can make you feel.
Enjoy your time relaxing!
How is it that youre this pregnant and your feet are not holding ANY fluid? I was rockin’ the cankles by 8 months, at 9 my toes were little smokies.