There’s one thing I can definitively say about weekends as a parent as opposed to pretty much every weekend I can remember before I had kids: they used to be too short, and now they’re always just a smidge too long. There’s usually a point during every Sunday afternoon where I look at the clock and think, you have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Which isn’t to say we didn’t have a wonderful weekend, because we did—the weather was spectacular, and everything felt very summery. We’ve had a tent in the backyard all weekend and the boys (all three of them) are constantly tumbling in and out of it like delighted puppies, we visited the animals at the farm, we found an awesome new park with a vastly entertaining skate bowl, we traipsed through a festival on a hot afternoon and its baking heat and complicated quilt of foodbooth smells transported me back to every fair I can remember as a kid.

Still, after all that joyful exuberance there’s something about the knowledge that tomorrow is Monday that feels less like a woeful all-good-things-much-come-to-an-end tragedy and more like a thrown life buoy, juuuuust within reach.

Breaking news from the No-Shit Gazette: children are exhausting. They will grind you right into the dirt and keep on going, leaving your sad sack of oldmeat behind. I don’t just mean this in the metaphorical sense: I ran a 5K this morning and during the race at least four kids absolutely smoked me, loping effortlessly along like goddamned gazelles while I huffed and snorted and lumbered in their wake. I came home feeling like, hey, I just ran my face off (THERE WERE HILLS. I CANNOT ADEQUATELY EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH I DID NOT KNOW THERE WOULD BE HILLS) for 30 minutes, time to kick back and—but no, of course that’s not an option since Dylan and Riley never stop moving EVER, they just buzz around constantly like hummingbirds loaded on bathtub crank, and not for the first time I thought how great it would be if I could just siphon off an ounce or two of their go-juice. Tap those little mofos like maple trees, and chuck the Red Bull once and for all.

No can do, though, no matter how earnestly I try and hammer that spout into their foreheads. All I can do is try and keep up, and man, for having such shrimpy little legs, they sure can kick my ass.

snigsrunning

In conclusion: fantastic weekend, but whew, glad it’s almost over. How about you, do you hate Mondays with Garfield-esque intensity . . . or secretly kind of love them?

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Tara
Tara
14 years ago

Maybe it’s because I just have one kid who’s at a fairly fun, manageable age (he’s 4), or maybe it’s because I currently hate my job, or perhaps it’s some magical combination of the two. . . but I dread Mondays. And Friday afternoons, watching the clock tick down to 5PM, are just plain magical.

Having said that, I haven’t always felt this way since my son was born, and I totally, totally get what you’re saying.

Maria
14 years ago

This blog keeps me sane.

Thanks dude!

Christy
Christy
14 years ago

I was a labor & delivery nurse before kids, and I found that to be more stressful/exhausting than being a SAHM. However, now that my two oldest are out of school for the summer, it’s like one looong weekend.

Jennifer
Jennifer
14 years ago

Nice to know I’m not the only one at 3pm on Sunday who thinks, “5 hours until bed time.” or “do you know what mommy’s favorite day of the week is…MONDAY.”.

Julia
Julia
14 years ago

In my world, Mondays need to be shot in the face.

Kathy
14 years ago

Secretly love them, no doubt. Especially when school is in session.

Joanne
14 years ago

I am a SAHM and I hate Mondays but not as much as I hate Sunday nights. I like for my husband to be here, since he’s the only one old enough to talk! But I do feel like it’s a chance to have a good week – it’s shot to hell by noon, but at least there is a moment of hope. :)

Sarah0
Sarah0
14 years ago

Thank you for writing this…I thought I was such a bad mom for looking forward to Mondays.

And now that I have the summer off all I can think of is, “Holy sh!t. It’s not even July. How am I going to make it to September??”

Josh
14 years ago

Dude, normally I fucking hate Monday’s. For most of my life the weekend has been that two day break where I get to have fun and keep myself going through the week just dreaming about partying and sleeping in and stuff. But recently I have been working two jobs, kind of. I’ve been working my normal 8 hour physical labor shift, then going to my brother’s house and working until the noise ordinance kicks in on closing in his carport.

So I’m working from six in the morning until eleven at night on construction shit, then going to sleep on his couch and getting up and doing it all over. The only difference is that I get to sleep in a little longer on the weekend, and I can drink while I’m at it. So for the time being I honestly don’t really care what day it is because I have to do the same thing all day every day, but you better god damned believe that when this fucker is built and I have a new place to live, I’m taking the next month’s worth of weekends and not doing a damn thing but sitting my fat ass on the couch, drinking beer and playing video games in between naps. Hallelujah, thank God almighty, I never wanted nothing more.

Josh
14 years ago

Actually on second thought, I don’t mind Mondays that much normally. I have a cool job. I like my coworkers, and I get to play with power tools and be outside, and we watch movies during breaks and lunch. I get to listen to the radio. and drive a forklift, and tell dirty jokes. I still love the weekend, but I can’t sit around too long with nothing to do. Usually by Sunday night I’m rested up and ready to get back to work.

Danielle
14 years ago

The SAME exact thing happened to me on Sunday: did a 5km in Melbourne & had NO CLUE there were any hills, never even crossed my mind that there were any here. Damn those inclines! And I was only 45 seconds longer than my last 5km which was FLAT.
As for Mondays: I think everyday feels the same to me, tiring.

wordygirl
14 years ago

I completely agree with you about the Mondays. Weekends are not much about the recuperating any more, are they? I mostly work four-day weeks, and I find it’s a pretty good balance: by the end of my four days I am happily looking forward to a weekend with my 14-month-old daughter, and by the end of my three-day weekend I am almost ridiculously happy to head back to an office where stuff stays where I put it, no one smears food all over themselves, and I don’t have to wipe anyone’s butt except my own.

….ah, motherhood!

Lila
Lila
14 years ago

Exhausted? Seriously? You are in great shape… I guess waiting till 35 to have kids is a bad idea for me, old ass body and all. Uggg shoulda started earlier.

St
St
14 years ago

About the feed, I don’t remember where I learned about it but I now use the “Reader Next” button. I rarely even open Google reader anymore. You put the button on your favorites bar and it takes you directly to the next post in your reader. I like it because I don’t miss out on things like new headers and my favorite bloggers get the hit.

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