Nov
28
I am going to share a family recipe with you (have I posted this before? I think I have. It’s been over a decade of blogging, you guys, we’re gonna have repeats) and when you read the ingredients you will probably barf yourself to death. I mean, I know. I KNOW. Cinnamon candy. Mayonnaise. Celery. It sounds absolutely horrendous, like some nightmarish Midwestern concoction straight out of Wendy McClure’s Weight Watchers cards.
But I swear, you should totally try making this. It was always part of our Christmas meal when I was a kid, and it’s wonderful. Really! It’s spicy and creamy and crunchy and it looks pretty in a glass dish.
Aunt Eileen’s Jello Salad:
2 cups hot water
2/3 cups cinnamon candies (like Red Hots)
1 large lemon Jello
1.5 cups applesauce
8 oz cream cheese
1/2 c. chopped nuts
1/2 c. chopped celery
1/2 c. mayonnaise
Pour hot water over candies until melted. Add jello and stir in applesauce. Pour 1/2 of mixture into bowl. Chill until set. Blend cream cheese and nuts and celery and mayo. Spread over set mixture. Pour on remaining mix. Chill.
Now, would I lie to you? Would I deliberately steer you wrong? I’m telling you, give it a shot. Although maybe don’t let anyone see you making it.
Unrelated to things that sound super disgusting (BUT ARE AWESOME), what are your favorite must-have recipes for treats and whatnot during the holidays? Are you a fudge person? (Heh.) Chex Mix? Cookies? I’m looking to expand my cooking repertoire/waistline.
Ala Dump
Cool whip, pistachio jello, pineapple and nuts. Nuff said, gross but ridiculously good.
A longtime favorite of mine is Crispy Chocolate Bars. You melt 1 bag of semi-sweet chocolate morsels, 1 bag of butterscotch morsels, and 1 cup of peanut butter in a large pot. Once its all melty and intergrated, pull off heat and stir in 1 box of corn flakes – like the 15 oz or so box (easier to mix if you crush them up a bit in the bag first). One all the cereal is coated, you put in a long casserole type dish (13×9 works) and refridgerate until set. Then you leave them out at room temp after that. Sooooo delish and sooo easy.
Mayonnaise? Jello? Celery chunks? That’s just nasty.
That is so extremely gross and so extremely American. The sort of American I didn’t even know existed until my first Thanksgiving here when someone said “Jello salad”. You’ve raised it to new heights, thank you.
Though I have a friend who makes applesauce with red hots in it and it works a treat.
My grandma’s fruit salad: canned fruit cocktail, maraschino cherries, bananas, apples, walnuts and sour cream, all mixed together. It’s best the day it’s made, because the bananas get, well…questionable, let’s say…as time goes by. Still, it’s quick, easy, and a nice foil to the saltiness of the holiday ham.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt the mayo and celery don’t make this completely inedible, but one thing I really, really, really hate is applesauce in jello. I’m gagging just thinking about it. (Also? Pineapple in jello. HORK.)
Oh man, I saved this recipe the last time you posted it and STILL haven’t tried it. I think I’ll get the stuff to make it this weekend; I’ve been in a food experimenting mood.
As for must-haves, my family has over the past few years gone nuts for this cranberry-jalapeno-cream-cheese stuff (http://www.melskitchencafe.com/2011/12/cranberry-jalapeno-cream-cheese-dip-sugar-rush-reinvented-7.html). I also require pecan pie fudge and monkey bread at this time of year.
I love the fall to Christmas tradition of keeping caramel dip in a crock pot (or mini crock pot if you have one and want to be REASONABLE) and apple slices. Caramel apples, but with exactly the caramel to apple ratio your personal preference dictates!
Seriously, check this: http://lifehacker.com/5941290/make-a-no-fuss-caramel-dip-with-a-can-of-condensed-milk-and-a-crock-pot
We always do this “pink stuff”…you use the hot water for jello…either strawberry or strawberry banana or wild strawberry flavor, but instead of adding the cold water, you stir in a container of frozen strawberries and stir until the strawberries are thawed. Let it gel in the fridge for awhile, then whip in a container of Cool Whip. Sometimes we also slice bananas into it.
I’d like to blame my rural Nebraskan grandparents for this: Take 1 Tbsp mayonnaise, 2 Tbsp catsup, 2 Tbsp mustard, mix together and serve over broccoli (preferably broccoli that’s been cooked to within an inch of its life). I grew up eating this concoction, and will still occasionally eat it when I need a morale boost, despite the utter disgust it engenders in, well, pretty much everybody. And for good reason. It disgusts even me.
As far as amazeballs things that are easy to make and taste astonishing go, my favorite is Crack Cookies. Recipe here: http://www.shadowmanor.com/blog/?p=16486
My mom used to make me Bourbon Balls every year and send them to me. Now that she’s gone, I make them for myself. Here’s the recipe –
http://awkwardlysocial.com/?p=70
Strawberry pretzel salad! Pretzels, cream cheese, pineapple, cool whip, jello, butter, stawberries. YUM. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/strawberry-pretzel-salad-recipe/index.html
Here is our version of Pink Stuff–container of Cool Whip, can of cherry pie filling, can of crushed pineapple, 1/2 cup pecan pieces, and 1 can sweetened condensed milk. Mix together and refrigerate. It’s so healthy ;)
That is the most disgusting recipe I have ever read ever in the history of ever. Congratulations.
That does sound disgusting. My family has a similar jello-and-other-shit recipe that is equally as bizarre, but everyone seems to love. I hate it. Flavored Jello should never be considered an ingredient in anything. Anyway, my new rule for this year is that until after Christmas, there must always be some kind of homemade cookie in the house. Like, we bake some cookies, and just before we eat them all, we bake another batch of some other kind of cookie, so there are always delicious cookies on hand at all times.
christmas crack..
http://pinterest.com/pin/249879479296414465/
:-)
We have to have buckeyes and divinity. Also cookies.
These: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1835,154179-243202,00.html
You totally don’t need to heat them up over hot water. We just do it in a big pan on the stove. But you will need to double or triple the recipe because they will vaporize as soon as people taste them.
When we take them into work or someplace formalish, we call them haystack cookies or something. But our family name for them because the inappropriate Taiwanese Booger Cookies years ago and it just stuck. We’ve had them every year since I was little…Grandma made them and now we do ourselves.
We have to have trifle. Sponge cake, raspberry sauce, custard and whipped cream layered together and topped with more whipped cream and fresh raspberries.
*drool*
We also pour sherry (the sweet kind) on the sponge layer on the bottom, but that’s totally optional.
I’m certain that is the most horrifying combination of shit ever. Seriously, throwing up at the thought of celery, mayo and jello. I just can’t believe it.
You know, I love reading all of these contributions, even the wacky/weird ones, because things like that are personal to each family. And such concoctions probably only exist because a relative needed or wanted to contribute something to a meal and either did not have the money or the time to go shopping and just threw together whatever was left over in the pantry. :)
My family does this odd ambrosia salad with mini-marshmallows, sour cream, canned mandarin orange slices, coconut, and if my aunt makes the salad, she throws in rum raisins. It is utterly bizarre, but it’s a family fixture. Reminds me of my grandma.
In our family it is cranberry relish. I was a recipe from my Dad’s mom, but Mom had to bring it to her side of the family. My brother inhales the stuff. It’s too tart for me.
You blend frozen “fresh” cranberries 1 lb or so
2 applies (cored only)
1 orange – including peel
blend in 2 batches until slightly less than coarsely ground.
Mix into large box of prepared jello and add sugar to taste (about 1 c).
My grandmother made the same recipe for jello salad, except she used carrots. I didn’t know until a few years ago it had mayo in it!
I guarantee a stoner invented that recipe.
Ah yes. Jello molds. Brings back memories of browsing this site: http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/jello/index.html
while quietly convulsing with laughter at work and trying not to snort.
Holy Jesus Christ! That is so pretty but so horrifying.
My kids look forward to Christmas as much for the flavored English toffee as for the presents, I think. It’s not as simple as yours, but it’s so flipping delicious we can hardly stand it.
Flavored English Toffee:
Cover 9×13 pan with foil, including sides.
For cappuccino flavor:
Sprinkle pan with less than a teaspoon of instant coffee granules and ½ to ¾ cup finely chopped almonds.
Add a few coarsely chopped almonds. Set pan aside.
In 2-quart saucepan, melt 1 c butter; add 1 c sugar and 3 T water mixed with 1 t instant coffee. Cook, stirring constantly, over medium high heat, to 290ºF. Pour immediately over chopped almonds.
Let sit 3-4 minutes; sprinkle with ¾ cup mixed chocolate chips and white chocolate chips. Let sit for a minute or two; spread melted chocolate around on top. Sprinkle ½ to ¾ c chopped almonds over chocolate; press in a bit.
Let cool COMPLETELY (chilling it is good), then remove from foil and break into pieces.
Variations:
PLAIN (chocolate): Use whatever chopped nuts you want; use only chocolate chips; don’t use any instant coffee. (Plain water in candy mixture.)
PEANUT BUTTER: Use chopped peanuts in place of chopped almonds; use mixed chocolate chips and peanut butter chips; no instant coffee.
PEPPERMINT: Add peppermint extract to the water instead of instant coffee. Sprinkle chopped peppermint candy on top. (Sprinkling it in the pan is not so great.) Use all white chocolate chips, and chopped almonds.
COOKIES AND CREAM: Sprinkle crushed Oreos in the pan and on top; use mixed white and semi-sweet chocolate chips.
PS the dessert my grandmother used to always make was jello mixed (with beaters) with cool-whip and sometimes… coconut? mayonnaise?… I can’t quite place what the textural elements were. Oh how I loved that dessert. I would probably still eat more than my share if she made it this year.
These comments are cracking me up. I have to agree. I love you, but that sounds absolutely horrendous. The only thing that could make it worse is if you threw in some frozen prawns.
My mom used to make an awesome seventies dish called ambrosia: pistachio pudding mix, cool whip, mini marshmallows, canned mandarin. And maybe nuts? So good!
My go to recipe for fancy christmas brunch: an awesome citrus salad with mint that I found on epicurious: section grapefruits and oranges (cutting away the skin deep enough to get the peel, and then cutting out the little triangles. This is a little time consuming but can be done in advance) Then take 1/2 cup washed and dried mint leaves and 1/4 cup sugar and blitz in processor until all crumbly. Mix and enjoy!
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Citrus-Salad-with-Mint-Sugar-108943
One thing that seems to be popular in the south (and is pretty good, although it sounds gross and looks gross) is a log or brick of cream cheese with a chutney or salsa poured over it. You eat it with crackers. It’s super healthy.
1. *YOUR* pumpkin chocolate chip muffin recipe is a constant from oct through dec. I make it as mini muffins, jumbo muffins, bread, teacher gifts, etc. Better chips make better muffins. Gheridelli (sp?) are my faves.
2. My neighbor gave me a box of Trader Joe’s Rosemary Raisin Crisps and wow! And thanks to pinterest I found this: http://pinterest.com/pin/274086327293696411/ . It makes 2 small loves (I used my big loaf pan at thanksgiving and the center was raw). I have not mastered making it into crackers. I just love it with cheese – brie, goat, cream are my faves with this – toasted or not. Hubby teased me it was an updated unsweet fruitcake. I have made variations. Currently eating: double rosemary (should I admit to carrying scissors in my car and flinching rosemary from my dr office, school and grocery store parking lots?), raisin, double pecan, no seeds (because i ran out). Still is awesome!
3. homemade chocolate syrup to make hot chocolate with. I use the easy recipe from the Tightwad Gazette from years ago.
1/2 cup cocoa
1 cup water
2 cups sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1/4 tsp vanilla
I will double it and keep in recycled squeeze bottles (ketchup, jelly etc). But this stuff boils over super fast so if you make it, keep an eye on that.
Mom always made these cookies around Christmas time. My kids love them, but it’s one cookie I’ve never let them help me make b/c I know they wouldn’t eat it if they saw the ingredients.
Hmmm…The link isn’t going through. Let me try again…Date Nut Balls “http://www.food.com/recipe/date-nut-balls-272882”
My Great Aunt Joan always made this weird cranberry salad with real whipped cream, grapes, marshmallows and pecans. I love it so hard, I don’t mind the mouthsores (wait. That sounded dirty)
Anyway! Now, it is a tradition for us and my kiddos love watching the magic that is REAL whipped cream:
http://rancidraves.blogspot.com/2007/11/do-you-love-cranberries.html
We have drinking custard. Milk, eggs, sugar all cooked really low so the eggs don’t curdle. Similar to egg nog but it’s not.It’s milder. You can chill it until it gets the little ice crystals in it. So good! Dip some frosted sugar cookies or ginger snaps in it too.
Heath Bar Cake (or more commonly known as Better than Sex Cake in our family) Bake a box chocolate cake (or any flavor, really) While still hot, poke holes all over it. Pour over the top of the cake a jar of butterscotch or caramel ice cream topping and one can of sweetened condensed milk. Top with a container of cool whip and four Heath bars you have frozen and crunched up. The longer it sits the gooshier it is and the better it tastes. Fabulous!
I am 11 weeks pregnant and nearly horked on my keyboard reading that ingredient list. Blech! NOT going to be trying that anytime soon, since even the thought of chicken makes me want to barf right now.
I am absolutely NOT a cook. That being said, I have one or two staples I trot out for parties this time of year.
Yummy easy fruit dip:
– 1 package of plain cream cheese (FF/reduced fat/regular your choice), softened
– 1/2 cup (packed) brown sugar
– Add chopped nuts, your choice (half of a 8oz bag of walnuts or pecans are best, I find). Use more or less as is your preference.
Blend until well mixed. Serve with fruit. If you get finely chopped nuts it also works really well as a bagel spread or as a filling between shortbread cookies. Some folks like to add sour cream and vanilla extract, but they aren’t really necessary.
In terms of wacky food traditions…I come from a family of really boring cooks. Seriously, my mom may be the most boring cook on the planet. Part of the reason I’ve never been big into cooking. Thank God my husband likes to do it or we’d starve.
My mother in law makes a layered angel food cake covered in a mixture made of ricotta cheese, cool whip, and cherry pie filling, with lemon pie filling between the layers (lemon pie filling version is optional – sometimes we just use more of the ricotta mixture, which I guess is technically called “trifle”). It is then decorated with maraschino cherries and sometimes blueberries or strawberries or other small fruit. It is really tasty and we all inhale it and then go back for seconds. The cake rarely survives the first night.
SOrry to say, but I am not a jello salad person and that sounds truly disgusting. My Nana has about a million jello salad recipes that she always makes me eat. Blech!
No holiday at my house would be complete without Peanut Butter Blossoms. May or may not have been eaten for breakfast on a few occasions ;)
https://www.hersheys.com/recipes/recipe-details.aspx?id=5191
Our family’s version of Pink Salad is just cherry jello, refrigerated until soft set, then mix in cottage cheese and allow to set fully before eating. I know, I know. Sounds hideous. But I LOVE it, and if the holidays pass without Pink salad putting in an appearance, I feel cheated.
We’ve also done the sour cream, canned mandarins and coconut thing, usually with a half can to a full can condensed milk added in , and sometimes a can of cherry pie filling.
To make up for these awful white trash recipes (but seriously, SO GOOD) my grandmother makes the best peanut butter fudge you’ve ever had. I’ll have to revisit this thread at home to post the recipe.
Oh, I am having a hard time believing that anything that combines jello and mayonnaise can be good. And then throw some candy and applesauce in there? It’s not right.
My mother made a jello salad that we all loved. It was red Jello and it had celery and chopped walnuts and small balls of CREAM CHEESE. It was such a tasty combination – totally worked! I’ll have to see if anyone has that one.
I will totally try this recipe out. Mayo don’t scare me! :D
I don’t remember a ton of recurring foods from childhood or adult holidays. I guess we like to mix it up. We did do Rum Dots (read: balls). Make them a few weeks ahead and store in ziplocs. They get even rum-yer.
Also kolatcky. (Pronounced cole-lah-chkey) My grama makes the thumbprint style. I like poppyseed best. http://www.food.com/recipe/Czech-Pastry-Call-Kolacky-161232
I also love the Winning Hearts and Minds cake from Orangette. So simple, so good. Makes me feel like a french woman. http://orangette.blogspot.com/2004/08/and-then-cake-came-forth.html
Feebs – The jello site was so interesting! I have been watching too much Downton Abbey and was all “Oooh! A footman!”
Angel Salad
flaked sweetened coconut
mini marshmallows
sour cream
drained mandarin oranges
drained diced pineapple
measurements are completely up to you. 1 can of each fruit feeds 4-6.. Make sure to chill before serving. This is a work potluck favorite. It’s quick, cheap and makes a lot.
We always have rum cake, which is pretty simple: yellow cake mix, box of instant vanilla pudding mix, the requisite number of eggs per the box, the requisite oil per the box, and a cup or so of rum. Baked in a bundt pan. Then, a rum glaze: rum & sugar, cooked over medium heat until bubbly. Poke holes in the cake and soak it with the rum glaze. I simply love it.
http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Mock-Almond-Roca-Recipezaar?columns=4&position=8/37
Fake Almond Roca cookies. Simple as hell and just the right amount of salty/sugary goodness.
Does it have to be mayo or does miracle whip work? I have some folks that refuse to eat mayo, but for some reason miracle whip is fine. Whatever!
This time of year, it’s all about the Monkey Bread in my family. We always have it on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I try to have it on at least one of those days when I don’t go home (I have canned biscuits in my fridge right now since I didn’t make in on Thanksgiving).
Other than that my family ALWAYS makes cookies. A long running favorite is “Andy’s Bars” these peanut butter chocolate bars that are heavenly. They are a concoction of crunchy PB, graham crackers, margarine, and melted chocolate … SO GOOD!
I also really like my aunt’s brocolli/spinach/cheese casserole: frozen chopped brocolli and spinach, grated cheddar cheese, sour cream, and lipton onion soup mix. Cook the greens, mix the above (cheese & sour cream can be varied to taste — last time I used about 1 cup of each, but it could have used more), and top with another cup or more of cheddar cheese. Bake at 350* until bubbly. Heaven in a dish … makes great leftovers, and if you use less cheese/sour cream it can be “healthy”. I may even try it with greek yogurt one of these days.
MY VERY FAVE weird-o recipe is hot dog casserole. It involves a whole pack of hot dogs, elbow macaroni, relish, cream of celery soup, and yellow mustard. If any others are interested, I would be THRILLED to share this love. SO GOOD – actually, I am getting hungry thinking of it. Does.Not.Disappoint.
Jenny, I’m intrested. It sounds just gross enough that my daughters would probably love it.