Do you remember Flickr’s Take Me to the Kittens! button? I think it would show up to offer you an alternate choice in case you had a change of heart about whatever adult-rated photography you were about to view. Like screw this, there could be ANYTHING beyond this content filter warning, let’s play it safe with a bunch of baby cats.

I had a few months of a real-life Take Me to the Kittens function, and while my life is not teeming with lurid dick pics just waiting to erupt in my face (hm, that sentence sort of got away from me), it was nice to get a dose of fuzzy cheer whenever I wanted. Kittens are remarkably powerful medicine for just about whatever ails you, except allergies.

TC’s kittens all have new owners now, aside from the gray tabby one we decided to keep (his name, embarrassingly, is Catinator. You can blame Dylan for that one, although I have to admit it works with his personality. Catinating the countryside, catinating the peasants …). It was an absolute pleasure being their temporary home base, and if I mayyyyybe went overboard with pictures and overall cat-ladying for a while there, well, fuck it, they made me happy. Take me to the kittens!

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We have been left with four pets, which is a little yikes. The flea situation is completely out of control. The dog, not satisfied with her repulsive habit of gorging on fallen apples in the backyard, shitting giant apple-studded piles of horror, then re-eating the apples out of her own shit, has started ecstatically gobbling cat turds out of the litter as if it were a holiday tin of Almond Roca. TC and Catinor eat wet cat food and have you ever smelled wet cat food? JESUS. Callie is pissed at everyone and it’s like living with Andy Rooney. It’s messy and hairy and it’s hard to leave town without executing a complicated logistics plan and the vet bills are insane.

Still, though.

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PS: This is my favorite photo of Callie reacting to the kittens. Like she’s an avid poster on some angry childfree forum and she just stumbled across the Duggars.

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michaela
8 years ago

Linda – I have loved you since your days on Diaryland (??Is that what it was called)….and just wanted to tell you. I swear if I ever ran into you randomly, I’d run up to you and be all “Hey Linda, blah blah, blabety blah” and you would think I was a freak. The end. I big puffy heart love you. And catinator. I love catinator.

Julie
Julie
8 years ago

You don’t need me to tell you, but you did a great thing by taking in that pregnant mom. What a nice experience for your kids. Tiny kittens (or puppies) are delightful. Thanks for sharing the pics.

Celine
Celine
8 years ago

Kittens are the cure for everything! My vet fosters kittens and I go by every few weeks for a snuggle and cheer up.

Yours were especially adorable…those faces though…

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

I keep telling myself dog-pets and cat-pets are good for our health, but a seven-month-old puppy with a raging goose shit eating habit (those are not pets but they think they own our back yard) will try your goddam nerves.

Margaret
Margaret
8 years ago

I love cats and kittens of all kinds, and looking at pictures of them is indeed peace-inducing for me. And that last picture of Callie and her look of disgusted horror was the best laugh I’ve had all week, so thank you for that. :)

Mariya
Mariya
8 years ago

That is a lot of cuteness – I can see how it could be a pick me up (as well as a total circus). And yeah, Kitty Roca is the most disgusting canine delicacy I’ve yet to encounter – ughh!

honeybecke
honeybecke
8 years ago

Almond Roca turd treats omg! Love it. So, you’re making a kitten calendar, right? I so thoroughly enjoyed each and every fuzzy cuddly lovely picture you posted. I know you aren’t the only one who misses those babies!

Jo
Jo
8 years ago

What a lovely post. Callie’s look of horror is hilarious.

Christy
Christy
8 years ago

I really enjoyed the instagram photos and loved watching the kitties grow. I’m afraid allergies will prohibit our family from ever having pets so it was fun to live vicariously through you. :)

When I was about Riley’s age, our dog had a litter of puppies and it was SUCH a great experience for me. I hope your boys have fond memories as well.

Oh and your P.S. had me laughing out loud like a complete dork. Love your humor.

Annie
Annie
8 years ago

The blue eyes and the half & half nose !! Wow

Angella
8 years ago

“Dear Diary,

A cat is a curious, magical creature. It’s as if a teddy bear mated with a cactus, and it’s much less fun to play with than it would appear.

And yet it poops delicious candy into a box full of pee-flavored sprinkles.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1C5T-fH2Y

Jess
8 years ago

A holiday tin of Almond Roca! I died!

Stacy
Stacy
8 years ago

We used to call it Kitty Roca when I worked at a vet’s office. :)

H
H
8 years ago

Love this!

k
k
8 years ago

Scrolling through the pictures, la la la, sweet little kitties and then: who the heck is that huge kid?? I can’t…he just used to be so wee! Crazy!

Johanna
Johanna
8 years ago

Hilarious! We fostered cats when I was a kid. It was just as wild and hairy as you describe. I love this blog.

Mike
Mike
8 years ago

There is nothing, NOTHING cuter than a bunch of newly-hatched kittens!

Jeanette
8 years ago

Yes, you did wonderful thing by taking in all the mama cat and all those kitties. The reward is lots of kittie love! So worth everything else!

Diane
Diane
8 years ago

Taking in that mama cat was a wonderful thing to do…I’ve always wanted to foster kittens but I’m very afraid that I would end up keeping all of them…the boys must have loved it!!

Jenny
Jenny
8 years ago

OMG those photos are such heaven! And what a wonderfully, fantastic life lesson you have taught your boys taking in that poor kitty when she needed you most. Those kittens are soooo beautiful and your description of your dog’s eating habits is hysterical!

Jenny
Jenny
8 years ago

Your pictures reminded me how much I loved kittens when I was a kid :)

What a fun few months for your family!

Kittens truly are the cure for almost everything that bothers a person.

NancyB
NancyB
8 years ago

Amazingly Adorable pictures!

Jenny
Jenny
8 years ago

So I have this self-help folder? With bookmarks of especially effective kitty pics? And this is totally going in there.

Amber
Amber
8 years ago

I can make you feel better about having four pets. Here’s the count at my house right now: one SNAKE (ugh), three leopard geckos, one bearded dragon, one knight anole, two gerbils (haaate), two rats (actually kind of cute, believe it or not), two cats, two fish (albino catfish which look odd but I am weirdly fond of), two parakeets (I wanted NO BIRDS, but then my husband literally found one in the middle of the road and I couldn’t say no. Then it needed a friend so it wouldn’t be lonely). And a whole GIGANTIC COLONY of dubia COCKROACHES to feed all those freakin’ reptiles (ugh ugh ugh). And a partridge in a pear tree.

For the record, I don’t handle reptiles at all. My husband and daughters are obsessed, and I just try to keep us orderly about it.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MEP
MEP
8 years ago

Maybe Callie wouldn’t be so hostile about TC’s BREEDING if she wasn’t so obnoxious and in-your-face with the breastfeeding. God.

sheilah
sheilah
8 years ago

Looks like your little TC found herself a Siamese cat somewhere what with the pretty blue eyes (2 have blue eyes?) and the sealpoint markings on the one little kitty. So cute!! Love me some little kitties…

Monique
Monique
8 years ago

I so wish there was a “like” feature, because: 1) Kittens and 2) MEP’s breastfeeding comment above. I died.

Maggie
8 years ago

Man I really needed to be taken to the kittens today, thank you for this. No thank you for making me bark with laughter at the office over the “avid poster on some angry childfree forum and she just stumbled across the Duggars” comment. I tried to pass it off as a cough, but I’m pretty sure my coworkers aren’t buying it…

Kris
8 years ago

In my mind, Callie speaks with the same voice of disdain as the main cat in the “Dear Kitten” videos…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yNSF7ljOoU

nerr
nerr
8 years ago

you made me happy. Thanks you.

Alison
Alison
8 years ago

I just want to wallow in them. So cute. Our two cats are closing in on 20 pounds each (the expensive diet food isn’t helping) and its fun to remember how little they were.

We finally had to sequester our litter box behind a baby gate because our otherwise lovely dog WOULD NOT STOP eating the damn cat turds. So gross.

Mary Clare
Mary Clare
8 years ago

Oh my! They are adorable! I love hearing your hilarious, poignant, and relatable stories, Linda. Hope life things are on the up and up for you.

Katie
Katie
8 years ago

The vet once told us that cat shit in the litter box is like Almond Rocha to dogs…it briefly ruined Almond Rocha for me. WHY DOGS WHY?

Jennifer
Jennifer
8 years ago

I’m so happy to see that you’re keeping TC as well as Catinator. TC sure won the lottery when she happened upon the Sharps house! :)

Christine
Christine
8 years ago

OHMYGOD. That photo of Catinator and the calico spooning. D-E-D dead. *swoon*

Rachel
Rachel
8 years ago

Kitten fostering is magical. There are few things in life that can’t be improved by the judicious application of a kitten. As long as you stop short of un-ironic custom airbrushed sweatshirts with giant kittens, you’re alright.

My wife and I have done fostering and rescue, and have 7 cats, and 3 dogs. We didn’t have any fleas until my MIL brought her infested dog over (still haven’t totally forgiven her), and then we were besieged for THREE YEARS. I was ready to shave the animals and burn the house down to be rid of them. I lost track of how many treatments, and pesticides we tried. I’m still traumatized. I’m so sorry to sound like an infomercial but…my vet recommended Seresto collars, and we have now been flea-free for two years. Most flea collars are borderline unsafe, but these are good if you fit them right (like all collars, they can get stuck in a cat’s mouth and cause terrible injury if they try to slip out of them chin-first). The initial cash outlay is rough, but then they last for 8 months, so it ends up being cheaper than drops.

Very Bloggy Beth
8 years ago

You made me LOL like 4 times. Well done. And I enjoyed gorging on all that cute. You did a wonderful thing for TC. And she knows it :)

JennyA
JennyA
8 years ago

Oh man, this is almost our house right now. After years (yeeeeaaars) of being an avowed Dog Person, suddenly we have a dog and two cats. The older cat was an Only Cat for 12 years and loathes the younger cat with every fiber of her being. The younger cat, who we acquired when he jumped in my car downtown one night and refused to leave, spends his time tracking and locating all of the older cat’s hiding places and staring at her. The dog just wants to play with someone, by god, if she’s going to have to share her home with these overgrown indoor squirrels we won’t let her eat, and barring that, will settle for raids on the litter boxes for delicious (?!) morsels. It is a veritable zoo. The fur. The farts. The hissing and spitting. But… the snuggles. Oh, the snuggles.

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Courtney L
Courtney L
8 years ago

I thoroughly enjoyed your cat pics this summer. I’ve always had cats until I found out they were wholly to blame for my asthma attacks. I miss the little fuzzballs…

Donna
Donna
8 years ago

I must say I really enjoyed this blog post, grossness and all , I laughed out loud! Even read a paragraph about the dog eating apple shit and cat turds to a co worker, which opened up a whole discussion on the gross things out pets do, thanks for the laughs this morning.

Melissa
Melissa
8 years ago

That may be the BEST P.S. I have ever read :)

Mia
Mia
8 years ago

KITTENS! Adding a gross story to go w/the apple shit story. Friend of mine had a dog that snacked from the litter box, she came home from work to find her house full of Almond Roca vomit. She honestly considered hiring one of those biohazard cleaners cuz she didn’t think she could do it. She put Vic’s Vapor Rub under her nose, wore a mask, & wrapped a scarf around her face, but she got it cleaned up.

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Mary Clare
Mary Clare
8 years ago

There is SOMETHING about kittens. We adopted a gray tabby kitten last fall, who grew into an obnoxious, huge cat who stalks the kids’ toys and sometimes us. He even eats the toys – WTF, cat? – and leaves us toy vomit around the house. Still, I wouldn’t trade him for another.

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Sarah in Alabama
Sarah in Alabama
8 years ago

This post made me so incredibly happy. Kittens are just the best.

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