Jan
26
On the way down to Eugene we dosed Dylan with some children’s Benadryl — actually semi-called for, since he’s been passing a miserable cold back and forth with Riley and JB for two weeks straight — and he was gratifyingly mellow during the entire trip, leading me to assume the same trick would work its magic today. Not so, unfortunately, and after a long cranky drive home and an interminable afternoon topped off by a massive Gag-Reflex-Related-Crib-Barf, I am very much ready for this whole entire day to be over with and am crossing my fingers that everyone’s well enough to get shipped off to school tomorrow, because DANGER DANGER PARENTING RESERVES ON EMPTY PULL UP PULL UP.
It was a good weekend, if occasionally hectic as a result of being away from the comforts of home and dealing with two sick kids. JB’s brother’s wedding could not have been more perfect: a short, sweet ceremony followed by a spectacular party that raged into the night at the bride’s father’s restaurant. Thanks to our babysitters, we were able to enjoy all the wedding festivities, and even though JB’s voice disappeared almost completely hours before he had to give the toast, a microphone and a few Godfather jokes got him by. He was amazing, as I suspected he would be, and his ability to deliver a heartfelt, hilarious speech in front of a giant crowd of people should be formally added to his list of enviable talents (next to: “Can leap like a motherfucking gazelle”, “Is able to write names in snow with urine”, etc).
The wedding location:
JB and his brother before the ceremony:
Me, awkwardly trying to show you my outfit:
Us:
Joe’s unique best man gift to JB, whose name is not, you know, actually JB:
The hard thing about being one of the only non-drinkers at an open-bar wedding is that your inhibitions remain at their normal levels throughout the evening and thus you have to do some Positive Life Coaching exercises to stop worrying about what a jackass you will look like on the dance floor. The nice part, though, is that the story that gets passed around the next day about the person who got so shitfaced they couldn’t remember where their hotel was and loudly insisted on being driven to a gay bar in order to spend the night? Has nothing to do with YOU.
Jan
22
Hey, I meant to tell all three of you who might possibly care that I’m no longer writing at Lemondrop — no bad blood or anything, it just wasn’t turning out to be a good use of my time so I bid them adieu. I am, however, continuing to write at Gather.com for BOCA, and I have two things to share about those guys.
Thing the First: BOCA is running a Balanced Living Challenge where you can win $5,000 just by posting a short entry about one thing you’d like to change in order to live a more well-balanced life. The idea is that this five grand could help you make that change, either by paying for a babysitter or cooking lessons or reducing credit card debt or whatever it is, but the important part here is FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. You can read about the contest details and how to enter here.
Thing the Second: In February BOCA will be sponsoring some blogger get-togethers, one of which I’ll be attending. The tentative date/locations are:
Chicago – Tuesday, Feb. 10th, 6-9 pm
Washington DC – Thursday, Feb 12th. 5-8 pm
Los Angeles – Tuesday, Feb 17th, 6-9 pm
If you live in one of those areas and you think you’d be up for hanging out and getting some free spa pampering (yes! Think manicures/pedicures, massages, that sort of thing), drop by the comments here and let me know which city/day might work for you.
(Also, how much do I love this client, with their cruel requirements that I attend a spa night on their behalf? Oh no I couldn’t possibly leave my children WHEREDOISIGNUP.)
Tomorrow we’re heading down to Eugene for JB’s brother’s wedding, and yes, we totally scored a babysitter, not only for the wedding itself on Saturday but even for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, can I GET a hallelujah. I’m relieved as hell, for all the reasons you’d expect, but also for the fact that both children have goopy eyes and runny noses and juicy coughs and are generally sort of unfit for public exposure. Even more so than usual, I mean.
Since JB will be best man, I imagine his speech will be quite colorful, although I’m guessing he’ll avoid sharing MY favorite story about his brother, which involves the two of them getting stupid-drunk many, many years ago out at their family cabin and his brother (who played football at the time) suddenly staggering outside, dropping his pants, and clumsily assuming a 3-point-stance before announcing he had to SHIT, he had to PUKE, and he had to PISS, and he was going to do “WHICHEVER HAPPENSH FIRSHT.”
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