I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Awfully Acrylic-Looking Skull today and it was, you know, pretty fun (Harrison’s like a Timex, man). I was talking to JB about it afterwards and we both thought that there were some scenes that might be a little rough for young kids to watch — tut tut tut — then I considered what it was about those movies that stuck with me and probably gave me a few bad dreams back when I first saw them: the face-melting scene, the monkey brains, and who can forget the moment in Temple of Doom when a still-beating heart is removed from someone’s chest? The more I think about it the more it seems to me that kids NEED to be scarred by movies, or they’re missing out on an essential part of childhood. Why, I wouldn’t be the yellow-bellied chickenshit I am today if I hadn’t had the living bejesus scared out of me by Poltergeist at an impressionable age. Just don’t talk to me about clowns. Or thunder. Or swimming pools full of rotted corpses jesusfuckingchrist.

:::

A weekly round-up of Elsewhere Blogging, for those who are interested, and even those who aren’t:

Father’s Day gift ideas at Work It, Mom!
• The thrilling tales of taking Dylan to the pediatrician and testing a Googled home remedy on Riley at ParentDish
Foods I’m eating on my “diet” at Gather

:::

By the way, I really enjoyed reading your comments here — you guys have such interesting and diverse lives. And, may I point out, it’s awfully damn nice that almost everyone who comes by this corner of the web is refreshingly devoid of the Shithead Factor, as evidenced by the total absence of even one little steaming comment-turd to the effect of You’re a Terrible Mother For Working Outside the Home Like OMG.

On that particular subject — but only briefly! I swear! — I saw some ugly opinions left on ParentDish a while back from some vitriolic working-mom haters, and I’ve been thinking, if Narrow-Minded Angry Internet Person’s own daughter grows up to have children of her own, and circumstances lead her to continue working at the same time that she’s raising her children, would NMAIP tell HER that she shouldn’t have had kids if she was “just going to let someone else raise them”? Would they still hold such ignorant, judgmental beliefs? When NMAIP looks at their little girl, do they want her to be a strong, independent woman capable of making her own decisions and raising her children according to what’s best for her own family’s situation? Or is she only allowed to make the exact same choices NMAIP made? What do you think, Non-Narrow-Minded Sane Internet Person?

Okay, that wasn’t really all that brief, was it. Dear brevity: suckadick.

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Chris
13 years ago

Linda, here’s what I have to say…

fuck ’em and feel ’em fish heads.

I’ve been a SAHM, a clean-other-poeple’s- toilets-while-I-hauled-my-kids-along and a bonafide WAHM.

Guess what? You’re still the MOM whether or not you work 3 days a week at a workplace or if you are at home every day.

I doubt that you do, but want to say anyway, do not let the judgemental SAHM’s affect how you feel about how you raise your family.

Anyone who has ever looked at pictures of your family knows that your boys are happy (albeit a little suspicious :-) and well fed and well taken care of.

I’ve been at this a far site longer than you and I can see a good mom when I see one…and you, my young sister in motherhood, are one.

Do not let the haters make you think otherwise.

honeybecke
honeybecke
13 years ago

Oh! I can’t wait to see Indy. I agree about the scary bits of the first ones. The scene with the heart beating and the sacrificial lowering into the fire-y hell was so scary as a kid! And the chanting! Gah!

Hmm, OK. I think people like the NMAIP(s) would be just as nasty to their own daughter(s). On some weird principle these types stand up for. They are stubborn and unrelenting. They can’t handle other people having different opinions without causing a stink.
WHO CARES if people have a different idea on working/not working mothering. GOD!
I would expect (sadly) that they would expect their daughter(s) to think the same way they do. And if the daughter didn’t share the same opinion and wanted (or needed) to work, then it would probably be a huge big red-neck type fight that would end up with the mother and daughter never speaking to each other again.
All so stupid.

honeybecke
honeybecke
13 years ago

oh, uh. if my comment sounded like i was getting pissy with you with the whole WHO CARES bit, then please know it was not directed at you, because you are sane and are all warm fuzzy with the different opinions/ideas/lifestyles and whatnot.

it was directed to those who are not.

Lesley
Lesley
13 years ago

Dr. Laura started the myth that working mothers are bad mothers and all daycare is evil, and um, she’s quite the role model isn’t she? First, she’s always been as ambitious as any Fortune 500 go-getter (rumour has it she backstabbed her way to the top in radio), and second, her son turned out to be a psycho. He joined the military and got caught posting graphic details on MySpace about how he’d like to rape and murder Muslim women. Nice SAHM/private school upbringing there… Also, let’s not get into all the hypocrisy surrounding her bedding a married guy and letting him take nude photos of her which he later posted on the net to show what a hypocrite she was.

Yeah, so these on-line anonymous bitches come by their bile honestly. They’re all religious listeners.

You are an awesome mother and JB is an awesome father and the two of you provide a lovely home for your two happy well adjusted boys. I can only hope they grow up to be as refreshingly intelligent, insightful, and well balanced as you.

Moderndayhermit
Moderndayhermit
13 years ago

I do think it’s only been in modern times that it is (so-called) required that parents be shoved up their kid’s asses 24/7.

And yet, the human race still manages to thrive.

Kelly
13 years ago

So. I find you hilarious, and never would have seen the Gumby video if it weren’t for you.

And now my husband, when he brought home flowers and a card for me the other day, signed the card “suckadick.”

Ah, the romance is alive and well in our marriage, thanks to you, Linda! :)

Robyn
Robyn
13 years ago

I’m with Modernhermit. What the hell is up with attachment parenting. I don’t even think that shit is HEALTHY for the kid. I don’t agree with it, but I also don’t wanna go to an attachment parenting site and bitch about them, it’s THEIR lives! Hey look, I can have a strong opinion and still not be pissy with anyone! :) Live and LET LIVE.

Allison
Allison
13 years ago

Kids need a healthy mom. PERIOD. How mom feels greatly affects her parenting abilities and kids pick up on unhapiness, discontent and the like. So, to each what they need to be healthy, sane, well adjusted mothers!

Swistle
13 years ago

That’s EXACTLY the kind of thing I think of when I see angry letters saying that, for example, teenagers should not be vaccinated against STDs but should instead be abstinent. The strong implication—or even outright declaration—is that the Bad Girls who have sex DESERVE to die of cervical cancer and/or AIDS. And I always think, “Even if you think it is a Terrible Mistake Of Apocalyptic Scale to have sex as an Unwed Teenager—if it were your own daughter who made that Mistake, would you really want her to DIE because of it?”

Swistle
13 years ago

Also, just read the other comments and would like to remind that BOTH sides are awful to each other. Plenty of working moms talk about how stay-at-home moms are throwing their careers away, being subservient idiots to a patriarchal system, not fulfilling their potential, and being mindless ’50s housewives who pass on nothing at all to their children. I agree that the bulk of the really exceptionally annoying comments seem to come from the stay-at-home side, though.

alli
13 years ago

“capable of making her own decisions and raising her children according to what’s best for her own family’s situation?”

I love you for saying this. Everyone has their own family situation and has to meet those needs in whatever way they feel works. Some people just don’t get it. We all don’t fit into the same mold.

aly
aly
13 years ago

hi! i dont ever comment (during the week, i have to read you through an rss feeder–stupid office blocking policies) but i can lend some insight on this one! i’m a attorney/prosecutor (LOVE. MY. JOB.) and my mom, while having many, MANY, redeeming qualities is a very “strong believing” NMAIP. she will make snide comments re: the potential of my husband and i having kids with “well, if you HAVE to go back to work when you have kids, I’LL RAISE THEM!” um, no. this is probably the bulk of the reason why we dont have kids yet.

i have no idea how to handle this issue and am apparently a giant wuss.

my sister handled it by moving away, but alas, i dont think that’s the answer for us.

i just really wish sometimes people would shut their pie holes (on EITHER side, b/c yes, i agree– both sides can get nasty. i’ve just been privy to more of the “you want to WORK after having kids? GAFAW!”). no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, nor should you be judging those incredibly hard, personal decisions.

Average Jane
13 years ago

Ah yes, the Acrylic-Looking Skull Possibly Stuffed With Saran Wrap. It would have helped if they’d at least tried to make it seem like it was heavy… But that didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the movie.

the goddess anna
the goddess anna
13 years ago

I used to think I was an awful mom for working and sending my daughter to daycare. Then, after being a SAHM, I realized I was an awful mom for subjecting my kids to my presence 24/7 (I have stay-at-home issues, as in, I hate staying at home). Now, I work some and stay-at-home some. I’m all about what works for the individual family, and self-rightious bitches can frak off.

About movies and childhood scarring – well, let’s just say I’m still afraid of clowns and storm drains. I do let my 5yo daughter watch innappropriate tv, like Deadliest Catch, BSG, SG-1, etc… I’m not missing my shows just because she refuses to sleep anywhere but my bed! Nightmares about explosive decompression are character-building, right?

Niki P
13 years ago

People truly do suck sometimes. I tried the SAHM thing and I truly hated it. I am a better mother BECAUSE I WORK.

Tell them to suckabigfathairydick.

Rumblelizard
Rumblelizard
13 years ago

Well, as far as it goes with the SAHM/Non-SAHM thing goes, it seems like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so spit and say “fuck ’em” is my opinion.

The bigger question, to my mind, is why it is that women are the ones stuck in this no-win conundrum, while no one ever seems to think it strange or bad or harmful or self-indulgent or whatever if the dad goes back to work after a baby is born. According to many loudly vocal folks, fathers are absolutely necessary to a developing child’s life. So why is it not only OK, but seemingly expected for dads to go to work when if moms do it, it’s the end of the world? In addition, I am absolutely positive that there are many many dads out there who would love to spend more time with their infant children.

What it all comes down to is that we live in a society that has strictly segmented gender roles that people are expected to follow. If someone bucks those roles, they’re punished. But those roles don’t really serve anyone, and actually harm everyone.

Eric's Mommy
13 years ago

Dude, suckadick is right.

We are going to see Indiana tonight, it’s playing with Iron Man at the drive-in, can’t wait.

I also will never forget the monkey brains/still beating heart. That is why Temple of Doom is still one of my favorite movies!

I’m heading over right now to check out the Father’s day gift ideas!

fairydogmother
13 years ago

We are going to see the new Indiana Jones movie later this morning. I can hardly wait, and I owe it all to seeing the original movies at an impressionable age.

Also, I’m very happy to see a father’s day gift guide for the sole reason that after roughly 30 years of shopping for my dad I am completely void of ideas of my own this year! I might also need to look over some mother’s day gift guides for ideas for my mom’s birthday next week.

I made the mistake of perusing the PD site the other day, and even while I was clicking on the post about the same-sex marriage ruling in California I knew I would regret it. It is like a NMAIP convention over there sometimes!

jonniker
13 years ago

Indiana Jones even played in our tiny town on opening night — and we don’t even have a first-run movie theater! I didn’t go because THE ENTIRE TOWN WENT and I’d be sitting in someone’s lap.

Also, I hate to be all “We Are Unique Snowflakes” as you put it once, but I agree with Swistle: sometimes the sanctimony of working moms is just as, if not more, insulting, because it’s got intellectual and feminist righteousness on its side, in theory.

I just wish everyone would accept that there is NO RIGHT ANSWER in any of this, except the one that works for them. I do believe that.

Also, for what it’s worth, my mom is a bit on the … well, even though she was a totally sane working mom for part of my childhood, I’ll tell you, she, in her later years, has found … well, she’s found a very conservative brand of religion that I can’t really go into here, although I’ll tell you, my mom is still surprisingly awesome. As part of this, she seems to have become sort of submissive to my stepdad (the least dominating dude EVER) and I believe is frustrated with ANY woman who works (though she’d never say this directly) because it’s taking a job away from a man. And if that woman has children, well … I don’t even want to know what she’s actually thinking about that.

She would never be an NMAIP, but I know she’s thinking it, even about her own daughters (there are two of us). But weirdly, she doesn’t lecture us about it, she just thinks it. She’s judgy in a non-judgmental way.

This is all information I somehow extrapolated over the years. She keeps these things sort of close to the vest.

Felicia
Felicia
13 years ago

Before I became a mother, I used to be one of those judgemental idiots who thought that there was One Right Way to raise children. Now I know better and I keep my mouth shut. I don’t know the other person’s situation any more than they know mine.

Although Swistle, I would like to point out that I do not have a daughter, but if I did, I would wait to decide about the HPV vaccine, simply because the side-effect jury is still out on it because it is so new. I do not in any way believe that most teenagers will be abstinent (in fact I think the opposite) but the bulk of the complaints reported to the VAERS (the vaccine adverse event reporting system) in the past year were concerning Gardasil. And it is not unheard of for vaccines to be yanked off the market due to many adverse events, such as the old rotavirus vaccine.

I am not trying to advocate any one course of action regarding vaccines, but rather to merely explain my position regarding this particular vaccine. (Waiting for more long-term studies before I would decide, since it is so new.) Also, abstinence is not the only way to prevent STD’s so no matter what I would decide in my (hypothetical) daughter’s personal case regarding the vaccine, I would want my teenagers (boys and girls) to be educated about condom usage.

Finally is there a connection beteween the HPV vaccine and HIV prevention? I got that impression from your comment but I had no idea… (I promise I am not trying to attack you with this question. I had just never heard that before.)

Julie
13 years ago

Ummmm…it was the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz that gave me nightmares for YEARS.

I have both stayed at home and worked outside the home. For us, it’s just depended on childcare options, financial needs, job opportunities. There’s a lot in the mix especially in today’s world. You do what you have to do to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, and sanity. I’ve got my hands full raising my own children and caring for my own family — I can’t imagine having the time or nerve to openly criticize someone else’s choices for THEIR family.

Kendra
Kendra
13 years ago

You were right about how interesting the comments were on the other entry. In fact, I’m thinking about printing some out for my husband to read, as we are currently engaged in a massive argument about my plans re: working/kids. People are so creative and so different in the solutions they find. I need him to open his eyes to that.

I hate those NMAIPs. They’re generally also spouting off crap about how a mother MUST cloth diaper and breastfeed and not circumcise and blah blah blah. They’re like a herd of cattle, just mooing along and not thinking.

Sleepynita
13 years ago

Maybe NMAIP should be getting her hand slapped for being such a judgemental bitch, and then be given awards for staying at home to work while a Nanny chases her kids around. And then after that she should get a hard dose of the reality check pill that her kids are good kids because someone else is with them all day. Because is NMAIP was with them you know they would be holy terrors.

Sundry
13 years ago

Hold up, I didn’t mean to start a bashfest on the NMAIP crowd or make assumptions about their lifestyles (cloth diapers?) — just wondering whether they really would push their beliefs re: staying home onto their own kids, or whether they would want their children to find their own path and be happy (or does the whole ‘but what about the chiilllllldren’ stuff end once they’re 18).

Amy
Amy
13 years ago

I, too, think the whole SAHM/working mom argument is annoying and, ultimately, gets us nowhere. You’re right about how each family needs to find out what’s best for them. I even had a co-worker, when she found out that my daughter went to daycare 2 times a week, freak out on me about how she could *never* do that (her husband apparently “works” from home and takes care of their son). I was floored. If you can’t get support about choosing to work from people you actually work with, there is no winning!! Anyway, all this to say, thanks for always providing such articulate thoughts about why a mom would actually *choose* to work outside the home. It’s refreshing. I would love to stay home, but, ultimately, right now our family’s situation is one that means I have to work. It’s not always as clear cut as people like it to seem.

Also, Indiana Jones rocked! I saw it opening night. Yes, the skull was really lame. But Harrison Ford was awesome. The first time he was on camera, I thought for a brief moment, “wow, he’s getting OLD.” But then he went all Indiana Jones and I never thought about his age again!

justmouse
13 years ago

first i have to say, obviously it would be SO MUCH BETTER if child welfare TOOK MY CHILD AWAY because i didn’t work and had no money for a house or proper food. good idea! puhLEASE! god save us from opinionated, self-righteous bitches. and second, why did they even have kids in the first place if all they are going to do is stunt their views on the world and life in general and teach them to be stuck up, arrogant, HATING shitheads like their parents???

GOD i hate self-righteous ppl.

sorry. just had to get that out.

Shamelessly Sassy
13 years ago

I caught brevity sucking a dick once in the local grocery store. :) haha.

Gentry
13 years ago

Bringing it back to Indy…is it wrong to want to have torrid sex with a man in his 60s? Is it wrong to fly to the south of France and sit in the lobby of the hotel where you know the cast is staying so I could at least have the chance to throw myself at his feet and show him how I wrote “love you” on my eyelids. Because, that *is* for real, what I did last weekend in Cannes.

And no, I didn’t get to see Harrison (which, conincidentally means hedgehog in French), but I did hear the bustle when his entourage whooshed past. And I saw Sean Penn.

I think the best tatoo ever would be one on the wrist that said “save me, Indy!”

Josh
Josh
13 years ago

Ok, first of all, thank you Sundry for not ruining the new Indiana Jones movies with any spoilers.

Second, I just want to throw in my two cents as a male. People who hate on working moms are worthless fucks. I would rather get fucked up the ass by a horse and die on video which then becomes an internet phenomenon cursing my family to a life of solitude and shame than have a conversation with one retarded mother who still clings to the fact that staying at home to raise children is a womans only calling. My mother stayed at home to raise me and my brothers, so I have nothing against stay at home moms, I truly don’t. I respect that. Go for it. Stay your happy ass at home, and raise your kids with a shit ton of nurturing and attention and spend a few hours every day checking Sundry’s various blogs to see if she’s posted anything new. That’s cool. But DO NOT fucking walk around all high on the smell of your own pious pussy fumes just because you stay home and another mother goes out and works.

Fuck that and fuck you. If you have a problem with women working to help support their families either 1) You just wandered off your ranch in texas after fleeing a police raid, or 2) You’re a god damned idiot who hasn’t been to a department store, grocery store, or gas station in the last five years. Guess what, living comfortably is fuckin expensive. I can’t speak for everyone, but for a lot of my generation (think twenty somethings) a girl who doesn’t contribute financially is a burden that is often (or always in my case) a relationship deal breaker. I personally want a woman who is intelligent and hard working enough to work a job, and then split the fuckin home work with me in the evenings. I would rather have help paying the bills and pick up half the work at home than be pushed onto the insurmountable, frogger-like highway that is supporting a family on one income in this day and age. I may never in my life make enough money to support myself, a wife, and several children on my money alone. It could seriously just not happen.

The help that a mother would have put into keeping cornbread hot and ready, is now transferred to paying for gas and mortgage bills. The clothes cleaning and vacuuming that would have been a woman job is now split so the money problems can be eased a bit. If you still think women should stay home to raise kids while the man goes out to make the bucks you should probably be surfing conservapedia and marching around your house with torches looking for witches, probably stripping your future female offspring of any and all mental capacities to think for themsleves, and more than likely the will to live. Asses.

clarabella
13 years ago

Um, I’m not entering the NMAIP fray. But, per Indiana Jones, let’s just say that my mom rented “Temple of Doom” for a friend and me when we were about 10. And let’s just say that we ran screaming from the room the minute that creepy priest guy started digging into his fingers into the other guy’s chest. And let’s just say that I waited until I was like 15 to watch that movie again.
Also, don’t even get me started on “Return to Oz” and the evil queen WHO COULD SWITCH OUT HER HEAD(S) LIKE THEY WERE EARRINGS! Gah!

jonniker
13 years ago

By the way, the point of my long-winded comment was to say that yes, I think that *some* NMAIPs who would absolutely push being an SAHM on their daughters — I’m convinced if this revelation occurred to my mother earlier in life, she would have suggested such to my sister and me before it was too late, so to speak.

Danell
Danell
13 years ago

Does anyone else think it would be reeeeally funny for Josh to have a go at Mel over at ParentDish?

Danell
Danell
13 years ago

I mean, no offense to Josh, I totally think he would kick her internet ass.

Anne
Anne
13 years ago

I have no kids, so, you know, no comment on SAHM vs/ Working Mom. On to CLOWNS, Parts 1 & 2!

Part 1. I went to Chicago with my parents and I read “It” on the drive. We walked to Navy Pier one night and entered a closed but still unlocked/lights dimmed shopping area. Suspended from the ceiling? DOZENS OF CLOWNS, leering at me in the half-light.

Part 2. THEN, when we got home later that same week, a bad storm had flooded our front yard due to a blocked storm drain. My dad made me help him clean it out. OH MY CHRIST, I will never be the same.

the goddess anna
the goddess anna
13 years ago

Anne on May 25th, 2008 5:15 am –
I am sooooo glad I’m not the only one!!!

anna
anna
13 years ago

Felicia- I hear you, but the vaccines- possibly-still-needing-testing wasn’t the argument Swistle said was objectionable. That’s a different topic.

Also? THAT SKULL WAS SO LAME. I couldn’t believe with millions of dollars they couldn’t find a better prop.

Swistle
13 years ago

Felicia- Oh, no, I just got my point a little fuzzy. Obviously there can be good reasons to wait on the vaccine; I was talking about the BAD reasons, like when people say it (or condoms, for another example) isn’t necessary since abstinence eliminates the need for it. It’s a dumb point that they surely wouldn’t apply to their own daughters’ lives—just as presumably they wouldn’t apply their vicious anti-working-mother policies to their own daughters. (One hopes.)

I wasn’t meaning to start a debate on the vaccine, but was instead comparing the way people’s strident, aggressive feelings on the big emotional issues tend to only apply in big-picture ways but not when it comes to their own loved ones—like what Sundry said about how “letting other people raise your kids” mothers might feel differently if their own daughters went to work.

Alyson
13 years ago

I’ve been a stay-at-home-Mom, and a working mom at differing times in my life. Each worked for the time we (as a family) were in. Now, I’m kinda in between – I work some to support the family business and do the Mom things when that is more important. It’s the way it works out. Sometimes I wish I could do one or the other better than I do, but oh well…..thems the breaks. I can’t be all things to all people. All I can do is my best at the time. That’s all anyone can do.

Felicia
Felicia
13 years ago

Swistle, I understand now. I think I overreacted to your comment because I just get a little sensitive when anyone brings up vaccines. We have chosen not to get all of the recommended ones for my son – for instance, the new rotavirus one, since it is still so new. And I have had people tell me that he is going to DIE because of it. I think those people must have been NMAIP’s, or certainly at least NMAP’s since some of them were in person.

It frustrates me because I don’t tell them that their children are going to die because of their choices (whatever they may be). I feel like bringing out the cliched “can’t we all just get aloooong?”

But anyway, my point is that I think I was too sensitive to your comment (which wasn’t directed at me in any way), and I’m sorry for that.

MizzM
MizzM
13 years ago

Good thing I was a working mom, seeing as how my children’s father always seemed to have a hard time staying employed. So, he became the SAHD while I pursued my career (which never required me to work more than 40 hours a week, and I still managed to breastfeed both kids for a minimum of 10 months each). I get plenty of 3-day weekends and holiday time off, plus I can call in whenever the kids are sick or have “Teacher In-Service Days.” Now that I am divorced and my ex earns a whopping $12,900/year (after being unemployed–again–while collecting alimony and living off of his divorce settlement), I guess it’s a good thing I pursued that career now, huh?

I did not make the decision to HAVE children until I knew I was in a position to support them by myself because you never know what could happen. Turns out, that was good planning on my part. Wonder how well those SAHMs will fare if their husbands decide to split and take off with their 22-year-old Personal Trainer? Hmmmm?

So, on a more positive note, thank JB for the Father’s Day Gift Ideas. I bought one of his “recommends,” not for my Dad, but for a certain Guy I know that I feel compelled to buy a gift for soon, but I had NO IDEA what to get. If every guy needs one of these Leatherman Tools “just because,” well, I guess that makes it a good choice! Scratched something off my “To Do List” that was causing me great stress and anxiety.

Celtickat
Celtickat
13 years ago

Every family unit is unique and, therefore, the way each family raises children will be at least somewhat different from other families. If working part-time works best for you – totally go for it. My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom and that was pretty much the norm for that time (1950’s – 1960’s), but times change and we need to change with them. Your children know they are loved and when they need you to be with them, you are. My impression is that you are a very good (and very funny!) Mom. I honestly think my brother and I were perhaps too – what? – isolated in many ways. I think we could have benefited quite a bit from being in a daycare type setting a few times a week. Would have been good for our Mom, too!

Emerald
13 years ago

FYI, my man Josh can kick anyones internet ass :D Also, I agree with him. Until someone can fax me over some undisputed proof of either argument in the form of several independent and a few government funded studies for a full spectrum of unbiased facts on the effect of either scenario on our offspring, I say all haters can go suckadick. I’m going to raise my children as I see fit, and if you don’t like it, feel free to call Childrens Aid and let the professionals decide, not your I-HAVE-A-CHILD-AND-AM-THUSLY-THE-BEST-PARENT-EVARRR!!!! opinion.

ktxbai :D

Emerald
13 years ago

P.S. I can’t say you’re like, the best parent evarrrr Sundry, cause I haven’t met all the mommies in the world, but you do strike me as pretty damn rad. Thought I’d say so. Cause everyone loves being told they’re rad.

Josh
Josh
13 years ago

Who’s this Mel you speak of?

Erin
13 years ago

Hey, we saw Indy this weekend too. I LOVED IT. My husband, not as much, but he’s wrong. Obv.

GoingLoopy
13 years ago

Fucking Poltergeist. Jesus. That scared the everfucking crap out of me at 7. I always thought the shit in my closet was coming out at night anyway….

Also, the movie that scared me A LOT as a small child? Sleeping Fucking Beauty with that monster at the end. The big black dragon thing. AAAAAAAH.

Claudia
13 years ago

I meant to comment on that other post but, well, when confronted by the fact that 1,576 people have already had their say, well, I can feel socially inept and beside the point online as well as in reality. Crazy.

I mainly avoid having the Working Mom vs SAHM conversations because it’s tedious and you get nowhere. What I’ve observed, though, in the seven years I’ve been a parent is that we all need to give each other a break. I think we work often because we have to – financially and psychologically. I would not do well at home all day long with chattering children (as much as I love and adore them).

Part of this is my introversion. I am completely wiped out by the end of the day if I can’t retreat and reenergize and kids do not give a rat’s ass about introvert/extrovert crap. They want to talk, they want another damn bowl of grapes in the purple bowl and not the slightly squished ones only the 100% perfect ones and why did you fold the napkin like that when it was made perfectly clear that they will only accept a napkin folded like this. Exhausting.

I like what I do, I like to have a space all to myself (more or less). I like to get up and go to the bathroom without being followed, without small sticky paws rattling the doorknob, without an eye peering through the keyhole saying, “I see you, Mommy!”

We always think the grass is greener and it’s not necessarily. I think working moms may be jealous of sahs when they hate their job and carry other resentments or feelings of guilt that they are doing the “wrong thing.” I think SAHs are jealous of working moms when they feel the same way, that they’re missing out on something or feel they’re doing what their supposed to but are still unhappy in an unknown way (perhaps they need to read The Feminine Mystique).

There’s no right and wrong and I think our generation is right smack in the middle of an attitude and cultural change. We’re experiencing the growing pains. Our daughters and sons won’t have this kind of angst, I hope. As for the woman mentioned above, who knows? Perhaps her daughter will chafe under such restrictions and become the first female president? (Though, why anyone would want that job I don’t know.)

We need to give each other a break and try not to let the haters get us.

Andrea
13 years ago

My biggest contention with the “someone else raising your kids” comment is that it’s just not true. I think daycare provides social structure for kids and when our kids are with us (parents) we are fully hands on with all situations on how we want to teach them to behave and interact with the world around them. Just because my kids are at a daycare 8 hours a day doesn’t mean that I teach them NOTHING at night and on weekends. My four year old uses utensils to eat, has manners, says please and thank you, washes his hands after using the bathroom… If I were letting someone else raise them, wouldn’t that mean that I’m basically doing NOTHING to show them how to behave properly?

And also, my son has gone to the same in-home daycare for nearly four years and my daughter has been there since she was six weeks old (is now just shy of five months) and will go there until she starts school. Our entire family loves the daycare providers. My son adores them, calls one of them Grandma and the other Aunt Tammy. I don’t see how it’s so bad that they go to what is a state licensed daycare when the daycare providers treat them as if they are their own grandchildren/niece or nephew. The kids learn from the daycare, and they have fun and love their “teachers” so I don’t see how a stable daycare is so very wrong. They’re getting as much nurturing as if it were me or their father staying all day with them.

Andrea
13 years ago

Oh, and Poltergeist is probably one of my favorite, scare-the-shit-out-of-me movies of all time. And get this, I’ve been poking around about that movie The Strangers with Liv Tyler and Ben Whatsisname that comes out at the end of this week, and I’ve run across several critiques that have said this movie is up there in scary classic nature as Jaws and The Shining and Poltergeist. I want to see this movie so bad that I am considering leaving the husband home with the kids to go to it by myfuckingself. Last time I did that, I couldn’t sleep for a week (The Ring) without a light on. And I’ve been looking around to see if I can find the events that inspired the storyline and it’s so mysterious and secretive that I can’t find it despite mind numbing hours looking (and yes, I have very little to do). I realize that inspired by is different than based on, but seriously, I am more intrigued now than ever.

We went camping over our long holiday weekend and there were thunderstorms where we were. My husband started counting “one one thousand, two one thousand,” after lightning flashes and I about pissed my pants and hissed at him to quit it rightfuckingnow, especially because there was a knobby gnarly tree next to our campsite and our camper is one of those pop-up ones with canvas that a tree could totally rip through and steal one of the kids. No thank you with the counting.