We’ve started putting Dylan in his crib instead of the beshitted, addictive swing at night, and things initially start out fine — he squawks more than usual when he first goes down, but eventually conks out and looks like an adorable little cocktail shrimp when viewed on the monitor — but then around midnight or so, just about the time when I put my book down, heave an exhausted jaw-breaking yawn, and reach over to turn out the bedside light, he wakes up and makes that ear-grinding noise most parents of young babies recognize: “EH-HEH. EH-HEH. EH-HEH. EHHHHHHHHHH.”

One of us goes in and gives him a bottle and gets him re-settled, but then he wakes up again at 1:30. And again at 3. And so on. He wakes up because he’s turned himself sideways and his head is mashed against the crib bars, or because he’s flopped onto his belly and has forgotten how to roll back over, or maybe because his feetie pajamas are filled with tiny invisible stinging jellyfish — I have no idea what all is going on but it’s like we’ve rewound time to the early weeks of parenthood, except now he’s much louder and capable of pooping entire cow-pats at a time.

When he was waking up from the swing, I could feed him once and put him right back down and he’d fall asleep almost instantly, but now when I put him in the crib during his wee-hour wakenings the first thing he does is lift both feet up in the air and crash them into the mattress: BAM! BAM! BAM! He arches his back and does that thrashing-salmon business while making a cat-trapped-in-a-vacuum-cleaner noise, all of which is meant to communicate the message that the crib? SUCKS A THOUSAND DICKS.

I bought a sleep positioner (a product which my friend Scott hilariously and accurately referred to as a “baby half pipe”) but he just rolls sideways on it and wetly gnaws one of the foam triangles, so that’s no good. I’ve considered swaddling him but I think it would just piss him off more, plus he’s kind of BIG now, I’d need like a sari wrap or an auxiliary roll of duct tape or something.

So I guess the lesson here is never let your baby get used to a temporary sleep situation, unless you don’t mind dealing with the colossal ass-pain of transitioning him away from it. At this point, I probably need to just dismantle the swing entirely so I’m not tempted to stuff him in it at 4 AM, which is, er, what I’ve done the last two nights in a row (JB admonishes me to let him cry, which I am 100% not opposed to doing in theory — for one thing, I know the different between a frantic cry and a pissed-off one — but it’s just so stressful to lie there in the dark listening to the noise and feeling that biochemical reaction of MUST RESPOND, and may I just point out that only ONE of us has to endure it, the other manages to snore openmouthed during even the loudest wails).

Well, this too shall pass, and in the meantime thank gods for Red Bull, SO SAY WE ALL.

2915361659_7bcbf2af60.jpg

Good thing he’s such a ridiculously cute chunk of pressed ham, or he’d be on the “baby+kids” section of Craigslist RIGHT NOW.

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biscuit
15 years ago

I saw on your twitter yesterday that Dylan rolls into the sides of the crib + wakes himself up. . . yeah, Maggie has been doing that too! I know you’re not supposed to put stuff in their crib, but after being awoken 6x through the night 2 days in a row, I’m sticking some pillows on either side of her tonight!!!

You are not alone. I’m not sleeping right there with ya.

Lori
15 years ago

My guy does the foot-slamming thing too. He was addicted to his swaddle but we finally got him out of that and now the foot slamming has subsided. Transitions are a royal pain. Speaking of which, Daylights Savings Time is right around the corner. Son of a…

Korinna
15 years ago

First of all–I am not opposed to swaddling my son until he is 12 since that is the only way I’m able to get any sleep at night. And will do so with the help of the Snug and Tug.

http://www.gomamagodesigns.com/snug-and-tug

It’s the largest swaddling blanket (up to age 15) I could find. It’s fab.

Second, your hair looks very sassy.

No
No
15 years ago

I still swaddle my 13 month old (minus the feet). It’s the only way he will sleep. :(

Kristi
15 years ago

You could try some wedges on either side of him – not squishy enough for face mashing, but enough to keep him from rolling his head into the crib bars. I don’t envy you….I HATED the “getting used to the crib” phase with both my kids. Here’s hoping yours passes quickly.

Downing a RB for you.

Casey
15 years ago

My daughter has been pulling the same crap ever since she turned into a little inch worm. I’ve been ignoring her (unless it’s the super frantic cry) and she usually resettles after about a half hour. The other day she woke up with a crib-slat imprint across her soft spot, that didn’t make me feel good about the decision to ignore her. Good luck, it really sucks ass going back to the days of no sleep when you’re used to getting a little.

Anonymous
Anonymous
15 years ago

Okay, so I wish that I could somehow type this to you in a smaller font as though that would keep the pitchfork waving mobs away from me but…
Have you tried putting him to sleep in the crib on his tummy? We went through this same stage with my son after he was around 6 months and that really helped us. I reasoned that once he could flip himself over that SIDS was less of a risk than the very real risk of his mother needing to be taken away by the nice men in their clean white coats. It may have been cause for me to have to forfeit my Mom of the Year trophy if I were to be investigated but he did start sleeping much better after that.

cindy
cindy
15 years ago

We had to transition our baby from the carseat to the crib. She slept in her carseat from months. Everyone thought we were crazy, but she slept so good there, we just took the “whatever works” approach, not realizing we were creating a monster. What finally worked was this…we’d put her down in her crib and let her grouse herself to sleep. Then, when she woke up after an hour, we’d let her sleep in her carseat the rest of the night. Gradually, the time she slept in the crib grew from one hour to two and so on, so that every night she was spending a little less time in the carseat and we still got sleep. It took weeks, but it worked.

Cameron
15 years ago

We made the mistake with our daughter, except in the car seat. She loved sleeping in the car seat. It was hell breaking her of that. My advice***, for what it’s worth (dollar to yen to pound translation=$.02):

a)never put a kid on their stomach
b)if you’re giving Dylan cereal, stuff his ass full right before bed. Helps to make him feel full (not hungry).
c)we tried the inclining half pipe thing as well, didn’t seem to work worth a crap because they just wiggle off of them. swaddling may help, might give him part of the comforting wrap-around feel of the swing.

***the advice given above is just that, advice. Every kid is different and what works for one kid does not always work for another.

Mama Ritchie
15 years ago

Two words: duct tape.

We used to swaddle C and when he got too big for his swaddling blanket, we both seriously considered duct taping the thing shut.

Why don’t they make Baby Tylenol PM?

Banafana
15 years ago

we were swaddling and that ended when ours started rolling over. My husband suggested swaddling without the arms in and I obstinantly refused saying it would never work. I caved a week later after we got no sleep at all “I guess we can try it but it will NEVER WORK” and um . . . well . . . it DID. swaddled with the arms out – I thought it defeated the whole purpose of swaddling but I was apparently very (very) wrong

Kate
15 years ago

Do you have one of those aquarium things that attach to the side of the crib? I wore two of those things out with my kids. With my daughter (a terrible sleeper STILL) I’d give her a bottle, push the button and leave. It’d light up softly, play underwater sounds, and the fishies would swim around. It’d keep her entertained and relaxed and she’d fall asleep. The only bad thing was that it was like a reverse snooze button and turned off after a few minutes. There were nights I was up multiple times turning the thing back on. Ideally, they’d learn to hit the button themselves, but hell if they knew to do that, you’d think they’d just back to sleep.

Anyway, I’d try it. They’re usually about $40 at Target. Here’s what I’m talking about, in case you’re totally confused:

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-L6925-Ocean-Wonders-Aquarium/dp/B000NW5RWQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1223414947&sr=1-1

April
15 years ago

Why is it that the mom hears every little whimper while the dad is over there sawing logs? I have sat through 45+ minutes of middle-of-the-night crying only to have him sit up suddenly and say “Whaaa- THE BABY IS CRYING!” No shit, Sherlock. I’ve been listening to it, oh, for about AN HOUR NOW!

ashley
15 years ago

Oh babies… Why do they have to be such a pain in the ass? My second (and last) finally started sleeping well when she was a year and a half. She was terrible. I feel your pain and don’t miss it at all.

Hotch Potchery
15 years ago

My kids are grown, so much so that the elder one sleeps at her own apartment, so I have nothing to add…however, I just laughed out loud as I read your description, was totally emphathizing, and then scrolled to the picture. I said. OUT. LOUD. lucky for him he is so. cute.

Oh, and I had babies in the age of belly sleeping, and while they are annoyingly teenagery, they seem okay.

Kirsten
15 years ago

Oh man, I could have written this exact same post…exact, even down to the snoring husband and the feet flailing. I still have no idea what to do, but I’m sick of my nights being interrupted, especially after starting a 5:30am body bootcamp class!

Lisa
Lisa
15 years ago

We have a 5 day old and have found the only way she will SLEEP sleep is on our chest or being held. The sleep on your chest thing is sweet and romantic until about 3am when you just want to roll over and not worry about dumping your kid off the bed. However, every other thing we’ve tried has resulted in even less sleep ( a constant state of newborn grousing and squirreling around). I know if we continue with the sleep on chest method we are going to seriously regret it but for right now, its so easy to take the path of least resistance. :)

Mary
Mary
15 years ago

I just saw a link to this on Jezebel.com… Many swaddling choices.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122334048176509989.html?mod=rss_Health

“A review of 78 scientific studies on swaddling, published last year in the journal Pediatrics, found that ‘swaddled infants arouse less and sleep longer.'”

Carrot Cake
Carrot Cake
15 years ago

“Do what works for you and your baby.” This statement really pisses me off, but unfortunately it’s true. It’s a guessing game.

At 3 weeks old I moved Calvin out of the bassinette in our room to the crib in his own room. It was right across the hall anyway. He started sleeping through the night around 4 1/2 months. He’s 9 months now and sleeping through the night has been the norm for a while.

This is what works for me. We used to swaddle him when he was littler, but he quickly showed us that he preferred to have his arms free. Enter the sleep sacks or footy pjs. Once he started rolling from his back to his belly he was a little more fussy at night because he hadn’t figured out how to roll back over or find a happy middle. So we had to intervene more often for a while to reposition him. Our rule is to not let him cry longer than 5-10 minutes, unless it’s obvious he’s testing us or just needs to cry it out.

Also, if he wakes up in the middle of the night or before time to wake up (avg 10 hrs sleep at night) we don’t make another bottle because he’ll get in the habit of expecting it. Both doctor and mother-in-law (of 7 kids!) say we should just calm him down, check that he hasn’t pooped or has some other uncomfortable situation (wet diapers can wait as long they’re not bursting or leaking), rub his belly or back or head until drowsy, then leave the room.

Take from this what you will, or not. Good luck!

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

I’m a guy so let him cry. My wife wouldn’t let ours cry either.

Ann
Ann
15 years ago

Well, I know you don’t know me or anything….I’m just a mom like you who just happens to enjoy reading your blog every day.
I know ultimately you’re going to do what you think is right or whatever seems to work. My advice is to just try the whole “cry it out” option. He’s big enough now that he shouldn’t be waking up hungry. Especially so early after going to bed. If he’s eating solids he should be cool. So when you first here the EHH EHH EHHH’s, don’t go rushing down the hall to him. Just wait it out a bit. He might even figure out how to fix his problem on his own and go back to sleep. If he goes in to full-on hysterical crying, then I’d head down there. When and if you do have to go into his room, don’t turn the light on, don’t give him a bottle, don’t even talk. Just make him comfortable, give a little “shh, shh”, and leave. I know it sounds cruel. I know it’s HARD. I know how hard it is especially when there’s someone snoring through it all. If he still cries, give him another 10 minutes and then do it again. He’ll eventually learn he’s not going to get what he wants by waking up and crying. It’s either the bottle or the comfort of mom, or the damn swing. It’s just part of the transission process. You’ve got to do a little conditioning. Think of it like training for a marathon. You’re not going to go out running a 10k on your first shot right? You’ve got to practice and learn how to do it right. That’s what Dylan is doing now.

Lesley
Lesley
15 years ago

It’s too bad there isn’t something between a swing and a crib, a sort of semi vertical, bouncing, swaying, hypnosis-inducing Dylan crate with robotic arms that would automatically adjust him from topsy turvy.

Yes, he is a cute little ham. If I had lottery winnings and could sleep all day I’d volunteer to be his night watchman.

In the meantime, I highly recommend espresso with a hit of chocolate syrup in the morning.

All Adither
15 years ago

God, I don’t miss those days. But neither will I miss the days of my five year old sprinting down the hallway at 3am, screeching with barf spewing out every orifice.

Joanne
15 years ago

Ugh. It sucks, I know. I think the goal is to get them to have the ability to go back to sleep on their own, without pacifier, or motion, or whatever. God knows I cannot do this, but I figure it’s good for me to have goals. Right now my girl wakes up only long enough to eat and then goes right back, but she does do that damned leg lift for naps. I keep telling her that she is almost 9 months old and it is time to SLEEP ALL NIGHT but she doesn’t care. Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? It’s dry as hell but very descriptive about how to handle sleep issues like you’re talking about. I know just what you mean about CIO – it is all that worked with my son but I am sick of people crying in this house! I wish they could just go to sleep!

Jessica
15 years ago

May I suggest one of those crib aquariums that you can hook to the side of the crib? Our Dylan absolutely loved his, and still does at 2 years old. It definitely helped when they get bored or frustrated in their crib, and sometimes, when they wake up, it takes their mind off of waking you up so suddenly. I don’t know how many mornings we woke up to the music from the aquarium playing! lol. Just a suggestion to try. That might soothe him back to sleep sometimes too. Good luck!

lisa
15 years ago

We are belly sleepers here too. My daughter is about a month younger than yours, and she’s been on her belly for a litle while now….she’s very strong and can flip herself over and even my ped said it was fine at this point. But you have to do what you’re comfortable with….good luck. Transitions suck, especially when they have to do with babysleep. UGH. There is nothing about baby sleep that makes sense, period.

Jess
15 years ago

He has you trained well, doesn’t he?

We put a small fan in our kids’ rooms when they were babies, which made a WORLD of difference. My son especially, who was colic and had reflux, slept much better with the fan on low. Something about the white noise that just knocks them out.

Kristy Hall
15 years ago

Amby Baby (I seem to recall that even Dr. Sears approves of this thing).

I never got it but my son slept in his car seat until he went to day care at 12 weeks. I will be forever grateful to the daycare ladies that broke the very bad habit I created.

NancyJak
15 years ago

I have to say I agree with “Ann” who posted at 3:27p. I think babies are capable of figuring out how to put themselves back to sleep – if we just give them the chance.
I’m going way back in the memory bank (18 years)…but when my son was five months old, my father advised us to pick a time and put our son to bed. He and my mother had me, my twin and my 18 month old sister to put to bed everynight. He said there wasn’t time to cater and everyone learned how to go to bed.
And there was just a story about a study done regarding SIDS and evidently a cooler room and a fan in the room were recommended in the possible prevention of SIDS. You might want to try the fan.

Sara Moon
Sara Moon
15 years ago

Hi Linda,
I’ve got a 7 month old girl doing the feet thrash/back arch too. She’s a pistol all through the night as well.

Here are my thoughts for you:
1. Dylan’s gotta learn to get himself unstuck from his sideways position on his own, and to turn over on his own – and he will.
2. Pick one time to go to him and feed him, then let him just settle back down the other times.
He should get used to this new routine of “righting” himself in the crib and not having Mom or Dad show up in about 3 nights. They’re 3 shitty awful nights, but he’ll figure it out.
This is my current plan…
Ugga.
xoxox

ELC
ELC
15 years ago

He IS ridiculously cute and delicious looking as either a pressed ham or a shrimp. I am a big believer in regulating his diet to make him sleep through the night. I would make sure you complete all his feedings during the hours you want him awake. Wean him off a mid-night bottle by giving him less and less over the course of a week – or substituting warm water. If his doesn’t need to eat at night (and by now it’s more of a habit than a need) – or isn’t getting satisfied when he wakes to eat – he should stop waking up altogether. (I hope) Good Luck!

Stacey
15 years ago

Is there a chance that he’s teething? My oldest daughter would sleep like shit when her teeth were coming in. My youngest daughter is also addicted to the swing. Or should I say that I am addicted to the swing? We’ve tried putting her on her belly to sleep (go ahead and gasp people) but she just rolls around and gets frustrated. So we’re pretty much in the same boat as you. I actually place her in her boppy pillow in her crib. That seems to work pretty well for us. Good luck!

Jennie C.
15 years ago

I love how you throw in little tidbits like “So say we all” and “…get Acts 2 & 3 of Dr. Horrible installed…” for us geek-mommies out here.

Helen Jane
15 years ago

This parent of a 1, 2, 4 and six o’clock waker has nothing but sympathy to your plight.

We’re trying the “earlier to bed, later to rise” thing this week, but who-T-F knows, right?

workout mommy
15 years ago

oh, how I hate the pre-scream foot stomp! I am going through the same thing and my biggest fear is “DO NOT WAKE THE TODDLER!” I will do anything that baby wants just to keep him quiet because there is nothing worse than a 3 year old that has been woken up before his time!

PS: you are featured today on workout mommy! :)

gertie
gertie
15 years ago

I re-introduced the swaddle at 7 months with great success. I used a large, thermal-type stretchy blanket, and left my daughter’s arms free. It worked great for about two more months.

Also, I know the crying sucks, but it’s so much better if you do it all or nothing. As long as they’re not dying, let them cry. (Of course, I can say that because it only took two horrible nights of crying to completely retrain my daughter. Now, a year an a half later she still goes to bet without complaining and sleeps through the night. Two rough nights, but so worth it.)

wm
wm
15 years ago

I love your eh-heh description. I can hear it as I read!

We just got rid of our swing a week or so ago, when baby was 9 months old and 24 pounds. We’d had him in the crib for a good month beforehand, but the night before someone came to buy it, he had a rare nighttime wake up. He was alert at 5 a.m. I wasn’t. I put him in the swing and bam, he was out.

I also worried when we relied on the swing for a long, long time (especially for naps). But hey, he got his sleep and we got our peace. When he had almost outgrown the crib, we really didn’t have to struggle much with the crib (though previous attempts had been miserable failures). I learned to appreciate what works.

allison
15 years ago

for what it’s worth, I went through sleep training (crying it out) with both my boys… while it sucks ass I found that putting them in the crib at naptime helped tremendously… even if they fussed and cried, well then they were just more tired for bedtime.

and I promise… if you go balls to the wall cio… the first night sucks, the second night might suck a little harder, but the third night will get better and the fourth is even better.

AmyQ
15 years ago

I have so been there. It seems like Stella’s ability to sleep changes every three months or so and we have to go through the whole process over and over and over and OMG!!! I can empathize. There was a news story in Vancouver a little while ago about some people who actually did put an ad on Craigslist for their baby. Good thing yours is so cute!

Ellen
Ellen
15 years ago

Oh..I used to rock my daughter to sleep every night in a rocking chair. Then, when she was about five months old, we went on a week long trip, and guess what? No rocking-chair available. She couldn’t sleep the entire week, because she couldn’t go to sleep after just being held and put down. It was horrible. HORRIBLE.

anna
anna
15 years ago

Safe T sleep is the waaaaaaay to go.

I had the same with my one. She was all over the crib so I got one of these and it works a dream…..

http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz/shop/Safe+T+Sleep%99.html?gclid=CN6275_zlpYCFQEziQod1zuN7g

oregoncoastgirl
oregoncoastgirl
15 years ago

best line? you know the difference in cries. WOW. Uh, you’re a MOM now. a good one. just give it time.

Caroline
Caroline
15 years ago

Hi Linda, If it’s just too much, you could take the opposite approach and just keep stuffing him in the swing until he either reaches the weight limit or his body just won’t fit. Sure, you *may* have to deal with this sleelessnss some day, but why this particular day? It might be easier to make a transition when he’s older, you never know…. At least this is your second so you know that the phase will eventually pass. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon!!!

Pamela
Pamela
15 years ago

Tried the whole crib nightmare for 4 months straight. My daughter took a header out of the crib and NEVER went back. Spent 4 months of, putting her in crib for about 5 nano seconds before transferring her to our bed for entire night as she was screaming blue murder. Eventually at 11 months old I put her in her own bed with bumper and pillows surrounding, huge comfy quilt etc etc, result. She has never been back in our bed and only squawks occasionally for a few terrified moments til she locates her dummy and stuffs it back in. Life restored. She is tiny as well, I felt terrible putting her in her own bed when she couldn’t actually, ahem, walk, but life was completely unbearable. I am sure she thought the crib was massively uncomfortable, surrounded by BARS and had no pillows, so like why should I sleep in this barren wasteland when you have a memory foam bed with quilt and pillows?
All the best and remember none of this crap gets any easier until they are at least 3. I have two as well.

Jessie
15 years ago

I can so relate to every word you wrote right now. We’re in the middle of transitioning our daughter from sleeping swaddled to sleeping un-swaddled, and I’m beyond exhausted. She’s constantly doing that thing where the seccond she’s laid down she lifts her legs and then pounds them back into the mattress. Then she tries to roll onto her stomach, but can’t get past her side because of both the pacifier and the side of the crib stopping her, so then she gets mad and wakes up completely. The only time I’ve gotten any sleep has been propped up on the couch with her on my chest asleep. Which, so not a long term solution.

And, since I’m breastfeeding, no Red Bull for me. I’m more than slightly jealous of anyone who can imbibe caffiene right now.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
15 years ago

Linda, you may want to check out “The Happy Baby Sleep Book”- not the best title for a book, but it helped me immensely with my two kids. It sounds like Dylan has to learn how to soothe himself to sleep (which is what the swing has been doing for him), and that book gives some good ideas about that. Good luck!

Amanda
15 years ago

I’m sensing that you’re either hungry or you’d just like to nibble on your baby – lots of analogies to yummy food!

Cheri
15 years ago

Love your Battlestar Gallactica references…. awesome.

Maria
15 years ago

SO SAY WE ALL