This weekend started out in a pile of suck, what with Riley getting sick again—seriously, third time in three weeks, I have no goddamned idea what’s going on but I am about ready to encase both kids in Purell-filled bubbles and camp outside the pediatrician office with a loaded Mini-14 target rifle until someone hands over one of those precious fucking STILL-not-available flu vaccinations, and YES! IRONY! IT’S WHAT’S FOR DINNER!—but I’m happy to say things greatly improved on Saturday when I ditched my family altogether in order to run a 5K with Ashley.


Not pictured: our lungs, because they shot out our respective eyesockets about halfway through the course while gasping our way up an Everest-sized hill. I knew about the hill ahead of time, but here’s the thing: knowing is, in fact, NOT half the battle. Half the battle is running up a motherfucking hill. The other half is not puking while doing so.

Later, it was time for Thrill the World. I was feeling pretty good about my ripped, bloodied Goodwill dress and sunken zombie eyesockets until Ashley showed up in this genius ensemble:


Not only was the killed-while-running outfit brilliant (and obviated the need for a costume-deflating sweater), she also had the most disgusting latex flesh wound I’ve ever seen outside of a Troma film. I mean, that thing erupting off her face was so realistically, hideously repulsive, I was a little ashamed of my attempt at a neck wound scab, which I ended up covering with gauze because I couldn’t seem to bridge the gap from “pile of fake red slime” to “bloody festering bite of the undead”.

The event itself was so much fun. Just getting down there and shambling around with a bunch of other dressed-up people was awesome, and it was a hoot to be the subject of about a million camera-wielding tourists’ snapshots.

Some people had some really clever costume ideas:



And some people seemed a little . . . unclear on the concept:


I don’t have pictures of the actual dance, but you will simply have to imagine me performing the moves with perfect accuracy, never once missing a cue or stumbling into the person beside me. In fact, just watch the original Michael Jackson video. I was about that good, maybe a little better.


Anyway, I had a fantastic time and I highly, highly recommend to each and every one of you that you experience a group Thriller dance at least once in your lifetime. In fact, BlogHer 2010 ThrillBlog performance? WHO’S WITH ME.




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