My life is so different than it was a month ago, in so many good ways. You’d think I’d be proud.

Ironically, as much as my office job degraded me and made me feel bad about myself, it seems like my self-confidence has taken a hit since I left. I feel this burning need for people to understand that I work for a living—three articles a day, not including other freelance assignments! (See? How I couldn’t stop myself from saying that?)—and why is that, exactly? Why does it matter? God, but it does. I can’t seem to let it go.

I feel like everything I’ve been doing lately sounds so lame. Look at what a joke I am, I keep saying. Cooking! Cleaning! Homeschooling! Look, I made three scrapbook pages, next I’ll wear a bonnet and french-braid my pubic hair while picking my own gherkins HA HA I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF.

I’ve had a couple people write me to say they don’t identify with me any more. I get that. Some of you know me by surface only, by words and pictures. I could say, well, I’m the same foul-mouthed insecure motherfucker I always have been, but it doesn’t matter, the subject matter has changed and I know that can be reason to move on. It’s hard, though, when you’re looking at yourself and feeling worried that you’ve become less interesting or less relevant somehow, and someone chimes in and says, well yeah dude, you pretty much have.

And it’s so stupid, because goddamn, I’m so much happier. I am so much happier than I was. I am so glad to have kicked that soul-sucking job to the curb, to be spending more time with my boys, to work for myself, and to try new things like CrossFit and yeah, sitting around glueing little annoying-ass pieces of paper. That should be enough. That should be plenty. I don’t know why I get so hung up on what other people think.

I had this awful, awful gym class last night where for the very first time a coach was totally condescending and basically treated me like an idiot for being a newbie, and I could feel myself starting to cry. Like right there in front of everyone. (Terrible. Oh god.) I barely managed to keep it at bay until I got out to my car where I just sat there in the dark and sobbed in total hysterics for maybe fifteen straight minutes. Not because I thought there was anything wrong with being new and unsure and still learning, but because someone else did.

Or maybe I did think there was something wrong with it, with me, maybe I thought I was a giant loser trying to fit in somewhere I didn’t belong, and some gym guy just confirmed it for me. I don’t know. How do you know, really?

I quit my job and it was the best thing that ever happened to me but I lost some sense of identity I didn’t know I needed so badly. I miss it, like a ratty security blanket that I could drag out in order to square my shoulders, paint a picture of myself that was never really true in the first place.

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Christine
13 years ago

Huh, I think I identify with you as much as ever. I don’t have kids, only started reading you regularly after you were pregnant with Riley (and then devoured your archives, like a lunatic, instead of studying for classes.) I work full time, but HATE my job. So I guess I identified with you also hating your job, but that’s kind of a crappy thing to bond over, no? In fact, I totally relate to this post. I have terrible issues trying to figure out what to do after investing years and tens of thousands of dollars in a career that it turns out I don’t enjoy, but if I leave it, I wonder what kind of failure would I be: WHY? Why do I do this to myself? and why should you feel bad for finding something that makes you happy, even if it doesn’t come with a job title?

In short, those people who emailed you? Jerks. (You don’t want to read someone, STOP reading, no need to alert them.)

Also your new trainer/instructor/whatever: JERKkkk. And the extra “k”s were a typo, but I’ma leave them in, because he deserves them.

Selfishly, I like that you’re home more if only because yay more posts for me! Sure I haven’t seen any pictures of children going down your sex furniture in a while (I think you dumped the wedge, no?)…but you’re still you.

Kim
Kim
13 years ago

I love how I’m a troll for simply stating that I can no longer relate to your new life. I work part-time, I have two small children similar in age to yours, and my youngest does not sleep ever. I loved reading your posts because your life was my life. Now you scrapbook and homeschool — and that is not my life — and will never ever be my life. I’m just mourning the fact that I related so much to you over the years, and now, well, I don’t. You got immediately defensive about my post yesterday, so obviously it struck a cord. And then this post. You just seem like you’re trying to find your way (which, who isn’t, really) … But I don’t relate anymore, and while I’m bummed, I’ll just move on.

MyFrogs
MyFrogs
13 years ago

I think you’re used to being a badass, and maybe that night you weren’t. But you will be back to badassery soon in Crossfit. ‘Cause you’re a badass! Who scrapbooks! haha! :)

Tina G
Tina G
13 years ago

Funny that you say this because I like you more now that you’ve quit your job…I used to identify myself by my work and all that, and in 2003 I left it to stay home with my kid #2- something I didn’t get to do with kid #1 when I was much younger and absolutely HAD to work. I wouldn’t ever work again if I didn’t have to. I hold a grudge against all those lost days, years, when I was trying to stay afloat. Home is where I am happy. Call me weird, but I like it and have no qualms about not having another “identity”.

Corey
Corey
13 years ago

I read here all the time, but I don’t know that I’ve ever commented. I can relate to this post very well. I’ve been through it. 2 years ago..no wait jeeze!..almost 3 years ago I was laid off from my awful life sucking job. I was so relieved!! I wanted to stay home with my kids so badly. We figured this must be our sign, ya know? So we made the decision for me to not look for new work. I was extremely happy. But something happened…I was still happy but all of a sudden I found myself stuck in front of Hulu all day watching TV I missed the night before. Never getting out of my jammies. Before I knew it I had gained 40 lbs. (OMG!)It took me quite a while to realize I was not just on vacation. I had a hard time finding my real purpose. What really was my “job”? I would tell people that I was a “SAHM” and they would stare at me in shock like I was crazy. They all said surely I would want to go back to “work”. It really wasn’t until about 9 months ago when we decided to take an even bigger leap of faith and decide to homeschool our kids. Seriously, I’m a different person. I feel like I have purpose now. Creating a lesson plan and checking stuff off a list that doesn’t include laundry and mopping was like the light I needed.(and i got off my ass and lost 50 lbs) I needed to feel like more than just a housewife, i guess. So anyway, things are better for me. But it did take a long time to desensitize? myself from the working me. It’s kind of like finding yourself again.
You’ve taken on A LOT of changes the past month. It’s only natural for you to not feel comfortable with it, or not know how to label yourself anymore. It’s ok. You know you’ve made the right decision. You know you are happy. The rest will come. :)

Carrie
Carrie
13 years ago

Linda – you’re still cool. Cooler even. The work of a full time mother, who is also writing articles for public consumption and homeschooling is crazy difficult. And also without those tangible external rewards that are baked in to most out of the home careers. It’s a huge adjustment when being a working-out-of-the-home parent is all you know. People will come and go as a result of you redefining this part of your life, and thus reflecting that in your writing. That’s okay. It’s all a part of the ebb and flow.

I recently made a similar change, leaving my corporate job of 12 years, to spend more time at home with my children. It took me about 4 months before it felt okay. I’m sure you’ll have your own timeframe.

There is a great book that I read when I was considering this journey.

http://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Ourselves-After-Motherhood-Professional/dp/0809223759

I hope that it helps.

Genevieve
13 years ago

You’re not alone in feeling that discomfort. And you’re not alone in going, what the hell, why do I need their approval anyway? Because the other night I laid awake wondering why my friend, who’s going through some confidence issues of her own, felt it necessary to tell me that I’ve changed and she’s not sure how much she has in common with me anymore.

I really wish people would think before they spew venom. I wish they would spend half a second pondering the way their words are going to sink in and twitch around so that we can’t sleep and can’t eat and can’t think about anything else.

People change. They drift apart, and back together, and apart again, and so on, and that NEEDS TO BE OK. True friends, true readers, good souls, kindred spirits, WHATEVER, don’t punish you for changing. They don’t fault-find, and they don’t lay blame. They try to find common ground (with you, there’s plenty–you’re very approachable). And if they don’t find any, they should really just let it go. Let it go. The people sending these messages to you–they’re broken, just like my friend. She’s broken, too. And they just can’t stand that they’re walking around all day feeling broken while someone else is on the mend.

Even when we KNOW we’re right–even when we KNOW they’re wrong…it still hurts. I haven’t found a fix for that yet. Just remember that out here, there are so many others like you, laying awake at night, just wanting to be accepted and told that we’re fun, and good, and right, and worthwhile. We all need it. We wish we didn’t. But we do.

You go, Linda.

amy a.
13 years ago

Since you asked.. sort of.. did you, really? I don’t know, but here’s my opinion.

You are a month into this thing, but you sure have yourself tied up in little boxes. All of the sudden you are this label. I think that’s the problem. You are trying to fit something that maybe just isn’t you and that’s okay.

You don’t have to be a “Homeschooler”. It’s okay to be a mom who cuts out pictures and glues stuff, and says the abc’s with her kid. Why does that have to be HOMESCHOOLING? It’s parenting, for pete’s sake.

So you clean. You cleaned before. So you work out, you worked out before.

Do you get a paycheck? Then you have earned some money. Yay! That’s employment. You are employed. You write stuff down and get paid for it. We are all jealous of that. Relish it! Bask in it.

You have had big changes. I hope you can find a way to enjoy this. Because it’s really great. Really. And in the end, it won’t be that I can’t relate to you because your lifestyle is a little different than it used to be, it will be because you are so freaked out about it.

But then again, I don’t read you because our lifestyles are the same or that I especially relate to you in any way, I read because you write well.

Livi
Livi
13 years ago

Kim – I love reading about others lives who aren’t like mine…for example: brooklyn limestone – She lives in NYC, has no kids, renovated her beautiful home(s) and has enough money to take fabulous trips every other month…I don’t – yet I love her blog. I like Linda’s too – she amuses me, makes me laugh & really ‘speaks’ through her posts.

Who cares if you’re moving on? One of the greatest acts of integrity is to move along quietly, when the time has come.

Linda – you’re changing. It’s hard. Really hard. I’m not going to say ‘don’t care about what others think’ because dude, that is hard stuff. Keep on keeping on. Things will work themselves out & gosh darn, that gym coach will figure it out eventually too (when something happens to him/her that is similiar).

Tina G
Tina G
13 years ago

Oh, and I want to add to my above post that we hardly have much in common anyway- but that doesn’t really matter as far as reading your blog. I never exercise,(really) I’m 45, married to a 60 yr old man, I have a 7 yr old girl and a 21 yr old son in college….I am not hip or modern in any way, but when I found your blog a few years back I kept reading because you are an awesome writer :-)

Shana
Shana
13 years ago

I didn’t read all of the comments here, but I wanted to say – I like who you are even better now. At least the parts you share with us here. I admire your tenacity, and that you are making the choices and actually acting on them, which is a rare trait in people these days. And you know? Those people who wrote you are probably the ones who need the security of everything staying the same, so screw them. Change is good, even if it mean the ground shakes under your feet for awhile. *hugs*

Robin
Robin
13 years ago

I get this. I stopped working (outside the home, blah blah blah) 20 months ago right before my twins were born. I never had the chance to be at home with my older so and I so wanted this. It’s so hard, though. It was hard the first 15 months or so because having twins is pure hell. But now it’s hard because I have a little more bandwidth and I’m thinking about how I am today and how it fits with who I am always and who I want to be. I’m mostly content with my small world but I have moments of needing something more. I’ve taken up running and am running my first 10k this weekend. I was talking about it with my running partner and realized how nice it is to have a new slice of identity, something I can improve on, something I can control. I’m planning on road biking in a couple of years. I want to be home with my children, want to mother them most of the hours of the day; it’s fascinating to do that and figure out how I fit into it. So I cancel out at least one of those people who no longer fit you, because my life fits your experience really well. (And I’m in Portland and am wishing you luck getting to Eugene!)

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

You have made HUGE life changes recently and it will take awhile to be comfortable with them, even if they are what you have always wanted. And if someone doesn’t identify with you because of your scrapbooking?? Then that’s their fucking problem, not yours. You do what makes you happy. Some people are just jealous of that.

I think you are awesome(in a non stalker way of course!)

Laura M
Laura M
13 years ago

I still love reading you! You are at the top of my googlereader and whenever I see a new post from you I read it first. Posts like this are what makes your stuff such an interesting read! Keep up the great work. :)

I quit a job that was making me cry a couple years ago and have not had full time ‘regular’ work since. I am kind of hesitant to tell you that I am just now starting to hit my stride. I nanny part time for a friend and it’s hard work and I still catch myself saying that I’m ‘not working right now’. WTF?
David (my partner) has said to me a few times that I ‘do better’ when I have a fulltime office type job. And that usually hurts my feelings. Probably partly because I feel like it’s true but I desperately don’t want it to be.

Catherine
13 years ago

I too left a corporate job to stay home. It’s not like I sit around and darn socks, but I am a SAHM. It took me a YEAR to be comfortable saying that. I still catch myself explaining … defending.

I so strongly identified *who* I was by *what* I did for a living. If you think about it, “so what do you do?” is just such a pervasive question. When I couldn’t answer “oh I’m a blah blah at a mega firm” I felt lost.

BUT I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER.

It’s a rough road going from the corporate grind to your new life. Expectations are different. Your bosses never give you a day off. You don’t get a bonus for getting anything done early. But you do get smooched a lot. The rewards are intrinsic. That’s hard to embrace when you’re accustomed to external recognition for a job well done.

Your boys will recognize your job well done, one day.

When answering the question, “so what do you do?” I think you can say you’re a columnist, people *get* that and you can tell that you have a great job because it affords you the flexibility to be home.

Cara
13 years ago

God, what a strange society we live in. I’m about to go back to work after a 4 month maternity leave. I’m a professional with an established career, but because my husband is as well and makes enough money to cover our household alone I mostly meet with surprise when I tell people that I am going back to my job, though only 50%. I think this will be a good balance for our family, giving me time as an adult doing the job I love but not keeping the baby with someone else for our former crazy long hours. But, if it isn’t, I’ll quit and stay home. And then a whole new set of people will respond to that news with raised eyebrows. Screw ’em. You’re doing what’s best for your family, and that IS valid.

sooboo
sooboo
13 years ago

I think it’s sort of hilarious that people wrote you to tell you they won’t be reading your blog anymore. Sort says a little more about them than you, I think. I’ve been a faithful reader since before you had kids and although you and I don’t have much in common lifestylewise, I find your writing really relatable and interesting. Also, that coach can go suck donkey dicks. I hate it when people think that humiliation is the road to harder work when for many of us it’s just demoralizing! Kudos to you for even attempting CrossFit. To me it sounds like the gym class in hell.

Chloe
Chloe
13 years ago

I identify too.

I am a graduate student, i.e. a professional student, at 27 years old. Often, when I tell people what I do, I feel the need to specify that, yes, I am a student, but I get paid, so it’s still a job. I can’t stand to let them think that I am going into debt or living off my parents, I guess.

And I don’t know why I let it bother me, what those people might think. It’s none of their business. Judge away, jerk!

That gym instructor sounds like an asshole, but everyone has a bad day. Hopefully it’s not consistent asshole-y-ness (if it is, I’d suggest reporting the person to management… if they made you feel bad, they’ve done it to others, and it’s hurting the gym’s success in addition to really hurting people’s feelings, which is in itself damn important. That said, I have trouble talking about things that made me upset emotionally, I cry like a little baby, so I would go through email or written message, not talking to someone in person or on the phone). I would probably avoid him/her, but don’t let them stop you from going! My biggest regrets are when I stopped doing something because someone else (who’s opinion I shouldn’t even care about) made me feel bad about it. It’s a long list, and I am OVER IT. Fuck what some asshole thinks, do what you do.

That goes for working from home, too.

jenn
jenn
13 years ago

Dude. Let me be like #150 to tell you, who gives a fuck what some random person on the internet thinks? This blog is about YOUR life. You are a fantastic writer, and you write about what’s important to you. I wouldn’t say I can envision myself doing 100% of what you do (homeschooling, marathons) but I think it’s fucking fabulous that you go after what you want.

And the scrapbook pages? You made that shit look totally badass. I do wish you’d try making pages on the Mac/Photoshop though, it’s way more fun in a “being creative with a computer” kind of way and if you make a page that you think looks totally lame, you can just trash it and start over. It also makes it easier to share (you just upload the file.) But either way, I love looking at your photos and I think it’s great that you’re creatively putting them together in a way that tells the story of what’s going on in your life right then. You and JB and the boys will always love looking at them. (And it’s a nice bonus that it keeps your hands out of the chip bags.)

Rock on, mama, keep doing what makes you happy and fulfilled and writing about it and I, for one, will always be happy to read about it. And anybody who isn’t? Tell ’em to go fuck themselves sideways, you won’t miss ’em.

Jenny
13 years ago

I have followed your writings from diaryland days and I think it is amazing the transformation that you’ve been through. Down and up, and then sideways and I think it’s a beautiful thing. If we all stayed the same then we’d stagnate, yet you keep growing, as a person, and I think that that is marvelous. Poo on the haters.

Jessica
13 years ago

I didn’t realize that some people only read blogs that specifically related to their lives. Are they only friends with people just like them as well? It doesn’t make sense to me!

I think it’s awesome that you can work from home and be there for your kids. I work from home but I have to answer phones and sit at a desk while working so it’s not quite the same. But it’s amazing that you can quit your job to do something you enjoy while being there for your kids. I don’t think anyone has children and looks forward to dropping them off at daycare so other people get to play with them all day.

I think you should have gone off on the trainer who thought yelling at you was acceptable. It’s not the military!

Jamie
13 years ago

I went through the same thing when I left my career to be home full time. It’s still new, it took me MONTHS to really feel confortable in my new life. And now I’m back at work part time and I find myself desperately trying to justify that too.

Tia
Tia
13 years ago

I love the new you. I loved the old you. Get the point, hee.
Some people are happy haters and that’s just really sad for them.

Becky
Becky
13 years ago

Honestly Linda you write so good I feel like you are my friend and you don’t even know me! I wish you would write books for me to read one after the other. Can’t identify with you why, because you grow and change? NOT RELEVANT? Please. I love what you’re doing, and that you are happy. Don’t worry about the H8ters. And that trainer? Not cool.

Megsie
13 years ago

I haven’t read more that 4 comments, but I will chime in to say the same. When I stopped working to stay home with my new baby that whole identity thing happened. I don’t think it was just me, either. Somehow, when you are at home, things just sort of hum along. There are no juicy stories to share, and no injustices. My husband was bored with my “how was your day” stories. I am sure, being a writer and home with your kids is sort of the same. It just takes some adjustment. Soon enough you will find your rhythm and find a niche. I started a new job this fall, after being home for nine years. I am feeling the same way you are. Happy, but out of sorts. A new identity. It is a hard transition. But, don’t worry about what others think. You are still you. And, although I am new here (relatively speaking) and I don’t ever comment (you have so many already! What could I possibly add that hasn’t already been said?) I really love your words. And I am so glad that you are happy. Please, please, know that what your are doing is worthwhile both for YOU and for YOUR KIDS.

Anonymous
Anonymous
13 years ago

Even good changes can be tough to adjust to sometimes. Hang in there :) I find you inspiring as always, where ever you choose to work from is irrelevant.

agirlandaboy
13 years ago

It’s so weird how readers can come to depend upon a blogger to BE SOMETHING for them, as if what you’re doing here were about anyone other than yourself (at least primarily), as if by writing in the public space you OWE anyone anything. It’s not a good or a bad thing that people think this, I guess–flattering at best, twisted at worst?–but it’s sure strange how that happens and people on both sides take it so personally.

You are doing great because you are happy. You’re adjusting to the new lifestyle AND to the new happiness. I relate because of who you are, not what you do.

Ashley
13 years ago

Any major change is hard, but duh, you know this. I’m guessing the gym asshole was just trying to take you out of a comfort zone? Pete has oodles of stories just like that from being a Marine. Cut you down so YOU can build yourself back up sort of shit. Anyway you cut it, you’ll always be rad in my book. Just don’t ask me to try your squirrel stew and help you with batting a quilt.

Lisa B
Lisa B
13 years ago

Does one have to identify with the writer of every book one loves? What a boring world that would be! About the only thing you & I have in common is that we’re married women. Oh, and we live in Washington State. Does that mean I read the blog of every other woman in the state. God no. The first thing I ever read was when you introduced Dog and Cat (late, lamented) to a box, and chronicled it in pictures. Fucking hilarious! Your pics and writing regularly crack me up. As long as you keep doing both, I think the rest of your life will fall into place around them. :)

Christen
13 years ago

I have to second what agirlandaboy stated above: it’s weird how when you put yourself out there in a public way you are supposed to BE SOMETHING to the audience. I started my (totally goofy, not-at-all-in-your-league) blog a few years back when I was newly single and recovering from heartbreak. Most of my posts ended with “And then I was kicked out of a bar for dancing on a pool table” or something similar. Now I’m married, have cooled it on the partying, and my life has changed a lot. I got a lot of shit for… growing up? Meeting someone wonderful? Not being The Crazy Single One? It was weird, but I think it would be weirder if I never changed or grew or did something different.

I don’t know if this is helpful at all; what I’m getting at is that you can’t please everyone all the time, and all you can do is live your life and continue to share it because even your posts on scrapbooking include lots of swears. That’s awesome.

And the Crossfot trainer? Can eat shit. What a dickface.

Melissa
13 years ago

I know how you feel exactly. I went through the same thing when I quit my job to stay at home with my son. I also work from home now as my own boss and I know exactly what you mean. It’s been an identity struggle for me too as well. And also a significant pay cut. I also have to keep reminding myself that it was the right decision, that I am happier…every time my husband reminds me of what we *could* be doing if I was making what I made before I remind him that he wasn’t getting laid before because I was too stressed out and always traveling :)

Christy
Christy
13 years ago

When I stopped working to stay at home with my first child (now three children), I felt like I’d lost a little of myself. I think it’s normal. I almost felt like I needed other people to know what I used to do and that I had gone to college. I didn’t feel important anymore, when really, I was still me doing the very important work of raising my kids. You’re my favorite read. For someone to take the time to comment on not identifying with you anymore is just, well, really?? Hang in there. You won’t get this time back.

Beth
Beth
13 years ago

I think you should report that gym asshole, think about how many other new people he’s turned off exercising? He’s bad for business, and he’s an asshole. Making people cry is not part of fitness, that’s totally unprofessional. Think about what you would do if someone did that to your kid? Wouldn’t you storm there and give them what for? Well you are just as important as your kid, and those people need to be told off.

Em
Em
13 years ago

I relate SO much. I have been “home” for almost 9 years (still working but not set hours, not quite part time yet sometimes more than full time). I work per diem as a nurse so my hours depend on a few different factors. When people ask if I work, I panic. What do they WANT my answer to be? Because I can kind of go either way. I’m home most of the time but I do get paid occasionally by an actual workplace. Which way are they leaning? Which answer will disappoint them less? That I don’t provide enough for my family, that I say no when work needs me but my kid has a school play, that my daughter could do dance and we could all go to Disney if I could just leave them a few hours more a week? Or that I leave my kids overnight so I can play with grownups, that I sometimes don’t see them awake if I get a 12 hour shift, that I put our “stuff” over being there? Which will cause that flash of scorn on their face and why the hell do I care when I am doing what I think I need to do? I get the feeling instead of making everyone happy with my arrangement, no one is happy. The kids can’t predict my schedule and don’t want me to go to work. Work is most definitely isn’t happy when I say no to working due to attending something my kids have going (and have kindly referred to my children in my yearly review which burns my ass). I try to look at it all as if in hindsight. I know I will be glad I took this time. Once they are grown, that’s it. Their childhood is over when it is over and I don’t want to miss it. Yet, I have to work enough to get the food on the table to get them to grow at all! What was my point? I guess just that I relate to wishing everyone was happy with the work/home lifestyle I have chosen while wishing I didn’t give a shit what anybody thought about it.

Em
Em
13 years ago

Damn I was afraid that was going to look long. Feel free to ignore it… just ramblings.

Andrea
13 years ago

People wrote you to tell you they don’t identify with you anymore? What an asshole thing to do. What ever happened to clicking “unsubscribe” in Google Reader and moving on?

And the coach from last night? Asshole. I would stand up to him in a private and unemotional way. Just to say to his face, “Hey, I felt really disrespected. Don’t rag on the noobs, yo.”

I’ve been reading since late ’05 or early ’06. We’ve both changed a lot since then, but you’re still you and you’re still one of the first blogs I click on when I open Google Reader.

nanann
13 years ago

I ended up getting laid off 5 years ago on my 1st day back from maternity leave. Talk about a kick in the gut.

Thing is, I still haven’t returned to work. And now with my oldest starting kindergarten, I feel like I *want* to tell people that “well, I’m a SAHM *now*, but I really am a lawyer by training. Really! A lawyer! I’m not *just* a SAHM, even if I haven’t practiced in 5 years!”

Lame feelings of inadequacy. Happy for you that you quit your job on your terms, but still totally with you with the odd feelings…

Kellie
Kellie
13 years ago

I cringe when you talk about the inadequate feelings you have of yourself, and smile when you “talk it out” in your blog, and bascially figure out that you are doing the right thing, and that you are happier now. You would be telling a friend (if she said the same thing) to follow her heart and her gut, as you did, and pursue the dream. Just because you are glueing some pieces of paper together, doesn’t make you a loser – it means your are artistically making memories that will be around for generations. And as for the asshole who spit/yelled in your face last night – what the hell? Again – get a grip on the situation and realize that guy for being an adult bully. You know the difference between strong encouragement and degrading screams. Either laugh it off if he acts like that again (if you go back to the class) or find something more positive and encouraging class to participate in. And remember that you are paying his salary, and he should really learn how to encourage and support. Keep up the good work you are doing at home and on yourself. I think you are awesome.

telegirl
telegirl
13 years ago

Ditto to what everyone else said. And, I’ll still be here when you’re writing about BenGay & Denture Cream. Heh-heh, reminds me of another story about cream… :o)

warcrygirl
13 years ago

I’ll never understand the need to for people to tell bloggers that they are no longer reading. If you’re interested, read; if not, MOVE ON. If anything I can relate to you more because I am also a SAHM mom of two boys. I don’t work for pay but I do a hell of a lot of volunteering. I know when I am ready to renter the workforce I’ll be able to keep up with the moms who never stayed home. If there’s anything about you I can’t relate to is how you can make yourself work out and get healthy and I can’t and holy shit can you PLEASE send some of that over to me? If you’re happy, you’re happy. Fuck everyone else.

mrschaos
13 years ago

I wish I had something amazing to say…but I’m really lame, it would seem.
We’ve all been there. Does that help? Maybe not…because everyone’s experience is different. You’ll find yourself. I’m sure of it.

NancyJ
13 years ago

GEEZUS — I’m 50 years old with a 20 year old son and I can relate to 99.9% of what you write about. So many things you are going through – I went through. The things you’re going through that I never did or will, I love reading how you deal with them.
You are amazingly Phenomenal – don’t ever let anyone tell you different. Especially some asshole instructor.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

I know exactly what you mean.

I never realized until I was laid off how much I used my job, my title, being able to say I was a Marketing Coordinator for Such-&-Such book publishing company to actually define me as a person.

Once I was laid off I felt as if I was a shell of who I once was. I am still working to rebuild my self esteem, reaffirming to myslef over and over that my job doesn’t define me.

It’s a struggle, but you made the right decision. You’ll get there, your emotions just have to catch up to your rational brain is all.

Joanne
13 years ago

I don’t always relate to or particularly agree with what you say, but … why does that matter? I enjoy your writing and I am rooting for you and your family.

I became a SAHM five and a half years ago and I am still finding my way. I am still defensive and can be weird about it and am finding ways to manage my time. Life is a series of adjustments and I am sure I don’t understand this Crossfit thing but I really, REALLY don’t like the idea of someone yelling at me. I’m sorry it happened!

jolie
13 years ago

Linda, you are a great woman and an inspiration in living and blogging. You are growing and pushing yourself into new areas – those who can’t relate should keep their comments to themselves. Who asked them to relate to you, anyhow? You write for YOU and you make your life choices for YOU. There are drawbacks to both working AND staying at home – all moms must pick their poison, really.

Jennifer
Jennifer
13 years ago

You are so kickass awesome that it baffles me that you could possibly think you are anything else. The way you take on new challenges, I mean, actually seek them out and try to push yourself beyond your limits? Awesome. How you can expose yourself, your thoughts, to all of us? Awesome. You are really inspirational and above all, awesome.

Lise
Lise
13 years ago

I don’t identify with you at all and never have. I’m older, my kids are older, I’m not a writer, I’m not into fitness. Even though I was once a stay-at-home homeschooling mother, I don’t identify with your current experiences becasue that’s in my distant past. But why would anyone want to limit their reading to authors with whom she identifies? I read your blog because it’s interesting. It’s interesting because you *make* it interesting. You write well, you see the small things in life and magnify them for your readers, and you are simply an interesting person.

I’ll keep reading here if you take a job as an accountant and start writing about balance sheets. I’ll keep reading here if you decide to take your family to Europe and spend a year backpacking. Thanks for continuing to write, even when you get negative feedback.

Speacking of negative feedback, you are the customer at the gym and you shouldn’t put up with a coach who demeans you. You pay their fricking salaries. Don’t put up with abusive behavior.

Kathryn
13 years ago

I just quit graduate school to work a job in retail. And as much as I miss having the respect that comes with saying “I’m chasing a HUGE degree” I was absolutely miserable there. Working retail makes me happier than I ever thought it would. I’m glad I made the change, even if it sounds a lot less high-brow.

Ngaire
Ngaire
13 years ago

You are amazing Linda, I read your blog because you write fantastically and even though I don’t know you well (and you don’t know me at all)it’s like you are one of my friends and I care for your happiness!! I’ve been following your blog for many years and love how much your family has changed and grown. I can only aspire for my small family (me and two kids) to follow in your foot prints :o)

Beth
13 years ago

Damn, my job made me feel that way today! I’m in management, it’s just not my calling most of the time, and I just wish folks could know me outside of work.

I’ve enjoyed reading about your new adventures. Moms are moms, women are women, great writers are great writers – doesn’t matter what work you’re doing or where!