Jan
15
Today featured our first bowling outing with the kids and a much-anticipated blanketing of snow.
I’m filing both under A for awesome.
And now for a question that has nothing to do with adorably hugging brothers or the lovely sense of stillness a layer of snow brings to the world: what do you think about Botox?
I’ve been thinking about it lately. Sort of. Like, not in the sense that I’m about to actually make any sort of decision, but just … rolling it around in my head a little.
I have this deepish vertical line in my forehead—it’s between my eyebrows, slightly off center—and I really, really hate it. I don’t hate it because it’s a wrinkle, nor am I interested in waging a massive expensive crazymaking pointless battle against my age, now or ten years from now. I hate it because it makes me look angry or unhappy, pretty much all of the time. It’s a frown line that never goes away, and I’m bothered more and more by it when I see pictures of myself.
I generally like the lines that grow on people’s faces, the ones that show a lifetime of, you know, having a life. JB has a deepening collection of creases near the outside of his eyes (crow’s feet, according to women’s magazines) that I think are wildly handsome.
This line between my eyebrows, however, just bums me out. I suspect it’s grown worse over the last year from peering, eyebrows knit, into a laptop screen for several hours a day, but whatever the cause, it’s like my face is settling into this permanently grumpy expression. I’ve even had Riley randomly ask me if I was angry about something: “Well, I don’t know, you look kind of mad.”
So: Botox, or whatever the latest minimally invasive cosmetic whatsit might be, it’s been sounding kind of attractive. JB is thoroughly opposed to the idea, says it’s unnatural and ridiculous and also more than a little gross/potentially dangerous (BOTULINUM TOXINS! IN YOUR FACEPARTS!) and I get all that. But man, if there was a fairly easy and not unaffordable way to dial this Frowny Forehead Line back a few notches … I don’t know, it doesn’t seem ridiculously vain to want to look less pissed off, you know?
Or maybe it does. Maybe one little procedure is a slippery slope and pretty soon you’re obsessing over every other facial line and brown spot and general nearing-40 droopage, and then you start thinking about how a tiny bit of suction might reduce that immovable C-section flab, and so on and so forth.
What’s your take on Botox/fillers/similar treatments? Never in a million years … or never say never?
Comments
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Honestly? If it’s something you want, just to fill in one blemish that’s getting you down, I’d say go for it. Looking less pissed off is definitely a good reason to try to do something about it.
My best friend has something similar that she had Botoxed, and she was happy with the procedure. She’s also had it done for…hyper..hydro…whatever the fuck condition it is that makes you sweat like a pig caught mid-orgasm with a kilo of China White lodged in it’s ass. She literally used to have intense body odor a mere 4-5 hours after showering because her deodorant could not stem the tide. It’s been about 10 years, and she still doesn’t have any issues with it.
So what I’m saying is – if it makes you more comfortable in your skin, for whatever reason, and isn’t being acted out as a symptom re: denial of age or all-out, deeply-set body image psychosis, GO FOR IT.
I am immeasurably with JB on this one. You’re beautiful and loved and for whatever reason you’re meant to have that line!
Never in a million years.
*Should have added – even if it’s denial of age, who cares? It’s your body, and you’re the one who’s gotta live in it.
The hardest thing about going in for fillers (what they’d offer for that crease) is the up sell. If you feel comfortable saying ONLY THIS! Then do it, but if you fall prey to someone picking apart every other “flaw” they’ll inevitably find on your face, I’d be VERY cautious. I have friends in their late 30s/early 40s who get botox for their foreheads on the reg, and you’d never know it, but recently they’ve started with the lip and general mouth area shenanigans, and it’s starting to get concerning.
Awww baby boys hugging, love love love.
Botox, fillers etc. especially for one particular thing/line/crease/area is a never say never thing for me. I don’t think it’s ridiculously vain to want to feel better about something you have literally no control over. Of course, I also look like I am thinking SUPER HARD about SUPER IMPORTANT shit ALL THE TIME when, in fact, my mind is mostly a very trivial carnival of non-sense but the forehead dent/furrowed brow tell a different story. So. I feel you is what I’m saying and yes, I would like some poison/baby-calf fat in my face sooner rather than later.
Two things:
1. Holy hell that is a cute pic
2. So, I think there is a difference between plastic surgery to make yourself (oneself) more attractive (younger/slimmer/ whatever) to meet “societies” standards and “changing shit that bugs you”. ok, they’re both vanity, but I kind of… Extremely dislike this trend that is telling women that it sucks if you look bad but it also sucks if you take non genetic measures to look differently. You can’t win for losing, right? If you hate that line between your eyes? (I’ve never noticed it, but that’s not remotely close tot the point): get rid of it.
I am a never, but, that’s because I am so mortified of needles I would never willingly put one in my body and my face would probably give me a heart attack instantly.
I say give it a shot (HA!) and see what you think. I mean it wears off eventually so if you don’t like how it makes you feel or whatever you don’t have to do it again.
Have you researched if there are any other things that you could do to help it without botox?
Maybe you just have to accept life with chronic bitchface?
http://blog.krisatomic.com/?p=1617
Do what you like, of course. I’m of the “it’s worth a shot” mentality. But beware the slippery slope. I’ve heard Botox is a gateway drug.
I am also on the side of never because I fear needles. But, a friend of mine has multiple deep lines across her forehead and I must say she definitely looks less angry/worried while the botox is in effect.
I don’t mean to sound sanctimonious or preachy . . . but don’t do it.
My Dad has an eye twitch which has gotten significantly worse in the last year. His eye doctor prescribed botox injections, to freeze the nerve & stop the twitch.
It doesn’t look natural……and it’s completely obvious that he’s had something done to his face. The left side of his face is basically paralyzed & frozen.
I don’t know you and you don’t know me; but please, Linda, don’t do it. Fillers, especially on your face, scare the bejesus out of me. Look at all the celebrities who now look weird: Nicole Kidman, Lisa Rinna, Marie Osmond, Megan Fox, Tara Reid, Jenny McCarthy, David Hasselhoff, hell, even Madonna.
You’re a beautiful woman as you are. Don’t mess with your face – I think you’d regret it later.
I have been using this stuff for the same kind of reason – don’t hate my face, don’t care about aging, just unnerved by a few things. Peter Thomas Roth instant Firmx. I love it. Not a permanent solution, but may tide you over while you ruminante…
I’m with you. In fact, I may have that exact line. I’m so OK with my crows feet – they’re crinkly and happy. The crease between my eyebrows is pure resting bitchface. It just looks so SEVERE. I’m thinking filler for myself, but I don’t know. I haven’t really looked into it yet. I think of botox & fillers like cosmetic dentistry – moderate cost, minimally invasive.
If I could inexpensively and without much hassle fix a few things, I would. Especially if my kid was asking if I was angry when I wasn’t.
Love the blanket of snow. It looks so pretty!
You sound exactly like my best friend. She too had the angry line between the brows and she didn’t like it one bit. She is in the medical field so a dermo told her it was a quick fix with botox and she did it and loved it. LOVED IT. I laughed at her you know, goodheartily, but only because she’s so goofy and who cares if she got it, it’s her face and she was pleased with it. So, yeah you know do what you want to do. It only lasts a few months and no frowny face the whole time.
Renee Russo swears by Frownies – http://www.amazon.com/Frownies-Forehead-Between-Eyes-Patches/dp/B00027DMSI
Never tried them myself, but they’ve been written up by Good Housekeeping, and a zillion other mags. Plus they’ve been around for a hundred years. Really. I did this Amazon link, but you should be able to find them in your local drugstore.
Yes on the ‘Tox! I’ve had some a few times for “preventive measures,” plus I really squinch up my face when I sleep and have deep creases when I don’t have any onboard. It stings more than it seems it should but if you get baby doses, you’ll have your furrow taken care of but still able to mobilize your forehead. I highly recommend it. But then again, I get mine for free with leftovers from my clinic. If I had to pay for it, I’d probably wait until I had a crease that really needed addressing.
I actually know this guy, he is a great ENT that took out my kid’s tonsils last month. He also does some cosmetic stuff, and botox sounds ok to me-but I wouldn’t do it unless I had a trained MD do it. Don’t go to one of those cosmetic spas, or whatever they are called. Anyway, he’s got some super helpful info on his new blog: http://wrinklewhisperer.squarespace.com/
My wife did it and to tell you the truth I couldn’t really tell the difference. You are talking about an ongoing $500-$600 expense that will have minimal ROI. Even my wife decided it wasn’t worth the effort.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
My sister had botox for a similar issue, a horizontal line in this case, and not noticeable in the least unless you pointed it out (just like yours), and it gave her this weird droopy eye and was just a bad idea all around.
I have had botox done twice a year for the line between my eyebrows and my “Grinch” creases around my mouth for the last four years (I’m 38.) I don’t have the lines anymore and every time I give my age, no one believes me. I can still smile, raise my brows expressively and I have never had an issue. I’m not going to go crazy and jack my face all up, either. I figure that I already buy expensive creams and should own stock in sunscreen because I never go without it, so it is worth the expenditure. One thing I recommend is asking around and researching beforehand. Do not buy a Groupon or get it done at a sketchy salon party.
I have the same off center, vertical line between my eyebrows. I tried Botox, I felt like I had a piece of meat on my forehead fir months. Also, it’s not really a job for Botox, it calls for a filler. Either one is fine if it makes you self conscious, I just think you’d be happier with a filler rather than the Botox. If you do anything though, go to a board certified Plastic surgeon. It isn’t a job for a nurse or a spa.
In all the pictures of you that you have posted I have never noticed this line. I say leave it alone. I get a similarly frumpy (but way less attractive) expression when I’m concentrating on something if I’m not careful; I HATE when someone catches a picture of it. But I find it cheaper, less squicky, and much less invasive to practice relaxing my face and just avoid mirrors and cameras when I’m knitting, driving, or working on the computer JUST IN CASE. But then I’m very much a let-it-all-hang-out type of person.
I have that line, too! My husband keeps insisting I have created it by being grumpy, but I think it’s the other way around: I look grumpy BECAUSE of the line. And I think the line came from squinting into the sun while driving around in Georgia. Now I live in Sweden and never see the sun, so the line is not getting worse, at least. But I’ve thought: “Wouldn’t it be nice if it were erased?” If you go through with it, tell us what you think!
I don’t see anything wrong with it. I would probably do it too, but knowing my luck something would go horribly wrong.
You must be my psychic twin today, because I just had this debate with my husband who is firmly on JB’s side. I… don’t know. I think in some ways it is leaning towards the same as dying your gray hair or whitening teeth that enjoyed too much coffee and red wine, as long as you don’t go overboard and really change how your natural features look. It depends on where you draw your personal line at self-betterment vs. vain obsession (some people would never dye their hair or wear make up either, but we all have our own guidelines…). I think people make such a big, bad deal out of Botox because it scares them and they don’t really know the facts. Some people do go overboard and look ridiculous, but a LOT of women use it and you would never know. Do your research and do what you feel. Don’t worry about other people’s judgments.
I don’t know if “vain obsession” were the right words I was looking for. Maybe just self-improvement vs. being that crazy lady who turned her face into a cat’s? You know what I mean, right?
Linda,
Had the same problem. Started using Botox to deal with it 12 years ago. It doesn’t make me look younger – it makes me look happier. And no, it has not led to other cosmetic enhancements. Furthermore, it wears off after six months or so, so you really have nothing to lose.
My knee jerk reaction to anyone considering Botox and its ilk is: no! Don’t do it! I think I have an ingrained bias against having a medical procedure that doesn’t stem from a medical need, because you never know what could go wrong and it seems unnatural, etc. That may or may not be fair or reasonable. I also tend to think that the perceived flaw is seen much more by the person who has it than by others. I’ve certainly never noticed yours!
Oh I’d never say never. Recently, I was with a longtime friend of my sister’s and kept telling her she looked GREAT and something was DIFFERENT, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. I was all, is your haircolor lighter? Is that a new sweater? I COULD NOT FIGURE IT OUT. She looked so good, and she ALWAYS looked good (she’s gorgeous), but she was GLOWING or something, was the only way I could put it.
She finally ‘fessed up that she’d had Botox.
Eff it, I say. If you want it, do it. I think about it, and you better believe I think about a boob job after all this babymaking nonsense is over. Whatever makes you feel good.
(Disclaimer that I don’t think you need it, and you ARE gorgeous, too, as is, but it’s about how YOU feel, of course.)
I have the same line, I have never thought about getting Botox, mostly because its an ongoing process. My solution was to grow bangs…problem solved!
Never say never, I guess. But I am really dubious about Botox in particular. Botulism? In my face?
A college professor of mine once pointed out something about women who are becoming mothers for the first time in their 40’s who have had Botox and other surgeries. Their babies are growing up with less innate ability to understand human facial expressions. Their mothers are so smooth all over that the babies can’t read what the lines in their faces are telling them, so they don’t get hold of that knowledge in infancy. I found that effing scary. I know that virtually none of this applies to you, your kids are well out of infancy and you’re not in your 40’s, but something about not teaching your kids what real humans look like, I think that’s a yuckifying thought under any circumstances. Of course, your kid noticed your face kind of in the other direction. (Although I’m with another commenter who never noticed this in any of the pictures you’ve posted.)
I personally like the idea of Frownies a whole lot better. But like they all say – it’s your face, your life, your line that you look at every morning and dislike.
My sister is a nurse working for a plastic surgeon and one of their perks is botox injections. The swing side of having it done is that you kinda lose the ability to give the hairy eyeball to your kids. It always strikes me as very funny to see her trying to be angry with the boys and yet she looks so…not at angry because she can no longer frown.
^”not at ALL angry”
Most definitely go for it. It’s something that’s obviously bothering you and if you’ll be happier as a result then do it!!
I get botox shots (many,many all over my head) for migraines. One happens to take care of that little frownie line that is just like yours. It is an expense I could never justify if I had to pay out of pocket for it, but as a bonus for a jillion stingy shots that help decrease the number of migraines I get, I’ll take it. Generally, I don’t believe it makes me look unnatural. I can still lift my eyebrows and such, but the frownie line doesn’t work–yeah!
At first I was in the “No no no don’t do it!” camp. I don’t see it in any of the pictures of you and the actresses who’ve had it done? They look terrible.
But.
There’s always a But. It’s temporary right? Maybe do it once and see if you like the results? I have noticed two deep frown wrinkles between my eyes in the last several months and have been wondering what to do about them (special wrinkle serum?). Mostly they irritate me because they are frowning lines and not happy lines, which somehow makes them worse. So I feel for you.
How about just growing some bangs to cover it? Problem solved with no side effects! :)
I guess I’m in the never say never camp. Mainly because I understand. (I don’t have the vertical line, but I DO have the beginnings of jowls. JOWLS. Not that my husband would EVER be okay with me getting some sort of facelift. Not that I would probably go through with it. BUT I THINK ABOUT IT.) If the line is bothersome, why not try a little filler or Botox?
Of course, I do get a panicky feeling, thinking about injecting poison into my face. So I’m not sure I could go through with THAT either. But I don’t think it’s any more vain than dying hair or any of the other million things we do to feel good about ourselves.
I would never, but mostly because I am terrified of needles, and needles in the FACE? Not gonna happen. Other than that, my issue with botox and flllers is their non-permanence. If you start doing them in you 30s, do you do them the rest of your life?
I tend towards the all natural everything in life and all that madness, but I put a ton of botox in my body twice for SUPER sweaty armpits and loved it! I was convinced it would just make me sweat more in other places, not so. One little line filled that could bring you that much more towards being happy with little things in life (ie not looking at a photo a bajillion times at that one wrinkle), than go for it.
As for the c-section flub. You have some built up scar tissue in that area that is causing that. There is A LOT I could talk about this, but won’t in this comment section. Basically you need to get that area around the incision massaged out, it takes a little bit to really start to work it out – it will also help to open up your energy lines that run through the center of your body (see there’s the all natural part coming out).
Good luck, a little vanity is ok. Keeps you out of the slippery slope of using a reusable grocery bag as your purse and wearing yoga pants with danskos (all of which I have done, but sucks when you look in the mirror and see what you looked like running all over town).
Re: boys and snow: YES! Cute cute cute cute cute.
Re: Botox: NO NO NO NO NO
Those high horses get harder to stay on the older we get, don’t they? For me, anyway.
I always thought that I’d never do anything. Age gracefully, I said! But as the crow’s feet assert themselves and the jowls begin to form, I confess I sometimes look in the mirror and just sort of…lift everything. And ponder.
But I probably wouldn’t. Especially Botox which kind of freaks me out. But still.
I would say try it in a very limited area and see how you like it. It does wear off over a few months, so if you hate it, it won’t be forever. Then at least you’ll know.
I think we’re around the same age, and up until getting pregnant this year, I used Botox injections in a limited area of my forehead for similar reasons – it releases the chronic worry lines in the center of my face. For me, it’s totally worth it. I look happier, I feel better about myself, with the exception of the area immediately between my eyes my face still moves.
I understand people’s reservations about it, but I will say that for me, Botox has not served as a plastic surgery “gateway drug”. It is just one small thing that makes me feel better about the face I show to the world everyday.
For a moment I thought you were asking for opinions on Borax. Had to go back and re-read because I was really confused!! :)
No experience with Botox but I’ve got a similar line on my forehead too. Gotta go read some of your readers’ replies!
Never say never. I am theoretically opposed to the idea and then again I have the same vertical line (although for me it is lines – 2). They linger longer and longer after I relax my face and, oh I hate it. I have considered Botox too. I agree with those that said to do careful research – I think that is pretty important if you decide to take the plunge. Report back!!
I was going to say “Hell no, get over yourself!” but then I remembered I had a mole removal that I felt were LIFE CHANGING, and I can’t think of a single way that botoxing a forehead wrinkle would be any different. So go for it. If you’re like me you will look at old pictures of yourself and wonder why you didn’t take care of it years earlier.
That should be ‘was’, not ‘were’. I swear I’m not an idiot in real life.
I just asked my friend who’s an aethestician about this last night, because I’m starting to notice the wrinkles on either side of my nose, leading to the outside of my upper lip. She advised me to ask my doctor for a prescription for Retin-A, and see how that works for me. If I wasn’t happy with it, she recommended chemical peels and then laser surfacing before trying Botox. In other words, there were several less invasive options available before escalating to shooting up my face with botulism. I don’t think trying a few things here and there will lead to Joan Rivers-type insanity. You love your body but you still work out, right? To me it’s the equivalent of coloring your hair.
I have a friend who just had lipo to remove some belly fat that she felt was the symbol of all the extreme hardship she’s had to go through in the last five years. I reacted with a big NO when she first told me, but then I thought… hey. If she told me she was getting Invisalign or correcting an overbite, I wouldn’t blink. We all think our teeth are worth being beautiful, and it’s terribly expensive to do that. Why not this, if she hates it? Same for you. Figure out the best and most permanent way, so it doesn’t become a money pit, and then go for it.
I vote generally with the do-something people. You have tattoos, you work out to change your shape, why not do something that makes you like you better.
Do more research and find the right answer for you, but, I also support the mommy tuck for the same reasons. If you work out and it just won’t move that you should have the option to have it fixed if the option exists.