There is always a reason not to write here, in this beloved, familiar place.

I’ve had a lot of freelance work lately and I worry sometimes that I have a finite amount of words in me each day, that if I spend some of that currency here I won’t have any to spend elsewhere, in the place where I have requirements and deadlines.

(As if my ability to pull words from my head is a drying puddle, when somewhere deep in the most secret part of my heart, muffled by all the negative voices that believe they are keeping me safe from failure, I know it is a burbling well.)

My children are now old enough to that I have to take the same consideration when I write about them as I would anyone else in my life: the world of blogging was never anonymous to begin with, but it would be particularly foolish these days to assume I have the ability to speak candidly with a select audience of my choosing. There are many aspects of parenting these amazing, challenging boys that I would love to talk about in the hopes of advice or support, but I haven’t quite been able to figure out the trick of balancing my own experiences and truth with their privacy.

They’re figuring themselves out, they’re 10 and 13 and and they’re struggling to find their own areas of control. They’re often a roiling embarrassed mass of fear about being different or uncool or attracting undue attention.

I get it. Boy, do I get it.

I would love to write about marriage, about getting older together and having all these years built up in what we have and how so many things have changed or shifted shape. I would love to talk about how we have made it this far through the Trump years despite our political differences, differences which have only widened and become more painful, just like the dark and terrible crack that seems to be running down the center of our country’s heart.

I can’t talk about the marriage thorns and mirror-shards and piles of suffocating baggage because it’s not just about me, so the easy writing — the cathartic angry writing — is off the table. What’s left is the hardest part: the part about love, that part that takes the most skill to illuminate and breathe life into.

But if I can find that love, I can write about that love. If I can love my children, I can write lovingly about our life in a way that honors where they’re at.
If I love writing — and I do, my god, I do — I can believe in my ability to tell the stories I want to tell.

I love this space, this dusty old website that sometimes breaks and gets bazillions of spam comments and hasn’t had a design update in 15 years and feels like a relic amongst all the shiny white-space professional-photo sponsored-influencer platforms that are, like, optimized for devices built in the last decade.

I’ve missed writing here, and there’s really no good reason not to be here more often.

I’ve missed you, too. Hi. Hi, you.

Comments

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
68 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Laurelie
Laurelie
3 years ago

Good morning! I just clicked on my favourites folder after a long hiatus…I miss you too!

Sarah
Sarah
3 years ago

Hi. :)

Jo
Jo
3 years ago

(As if my ability to pull words from my head is a drying puddle, when somewhere deep in the most secret part of my heart, muffled by all the negative voices that believe they are keeping me safe from failure, I know it is a burbling well.)

I had to pause after reading that. You hit it dead centre. You are an amazing writer.

Emily
Emily
3 years ago

It’s so nice to see something from you. Hello! I’ve missed you.

Penne
Penne
3 years ago

I love that you love writing. I love seeing that you’ve written. This is one of your posts I will read again and again. I like your un-shiny beloved place. Please keep giving the world your words.

Hi. :)

Hillary
Hillary
3 years ago

Hi! I love your writing and am always happy to see something new here, no matter what the topic.

Heather
Heather
3 years ago

So happy to read this and hear from you! My boys are 9 and 11 and oh man, do I feel your pain and agree with what you wrote. Middle school and tweens and those ages are not fun for anyone.

Kathy
Kathy
3 years ago

Hi you! Yours is one of only 3 blogs that I eagerly devour each word as soon as I’m notified that a new entry exists. So welcome back, would love to hear more from you! Reading all the things that you wish you could write about was kind of a tease. Maybe start an anonymous blog to write about all those things because I would love to read them!

Wendy
3 years ago

Hi! It’s always a wonderful thing to see a post from you, no matter what the topic. <3

Lindsey
3 years ago

Hi. Will be reading, no matter what and when you write. xo

Amy Bridges
Amy Bridges
3 years ago

Yes yes yes yes write

Kirsten
Kirsten
3 years ago

Hi there!

Trina
Trina
3 years ago

Hello! You are the last of the bloggers I still read. You are also the first blogger I ever read. Our kids are the same ages and your writing (especially when the kids were very little) made me feel so not alone. I will always read whenever you post and I am so happy to see an email saying you’ve posted something.

Deana Coyner
Deana Coyner
3 years ago

I miss your voice when it is silent. Welcome home.

Jess
Jess
3 years ago

YAAAAAAAAS!!!!! I opened my email and saw a notice that you had posted and I could not open it fast enough!! You are an incredible writer. Every one of your posts make me laugh and get a lump in my throat all at the same time – the mark of a gifted, gifted writer. Thanks for putting yourself out here, you have made a difference in my life, just by writing.

BDS
BDS
3 years ago

This made my Friday! I love getting an alert that you posted something. LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing.

Carrie Flores
Carrie Flores
3 years ago

You’re is my favorite blog, so I love ANY time I get to read your writing and what’s on your heart/mind.

Kelly
Kelly
3 years ago

We’ve missed you, too! Hugs as I, too, often find myself in that boat of not being able to write about what I most need to.

Mandy
Mandy
3 years ago

Hi! We’ve missed you, too!

Molly
Molly
3 years ago

So glad to see you back! Always enjoy your writing, truly!

jennb
jennb
3 years ago

Hi, old friend. I am glad we are connected on the ‘book, and I always love to read about you hear. Someday, perhaps, I will get back to the left coast and be able to meet you in person.

Diane
Diane
3 years ago

Whenever and wherever you are ready to write I will be here to read it. We have shared so many heart felt laughs and so many tears both happy and sad. You really need to know how much you impact the lives of your readers. I rarely comment but this is important!! Please keep writing.

Pat Birnie
3 years ago

Hi back – I was so excited to see a new post from you – I often read your posts a couple of times, as the writing is so beautiful. Today I actually teared up a bit. I also raised kids (4)and struggled in marriage – nothing unique about that at all but if feels comforting to read your words – none of us are alone. Let me tell you that with your kids – they will be alright. Those teen years were harder than I ever could have imagined but now at 27-36 they are all doing great – and that’s usually what happens. I continue to admire you for your candidness & strength.

rebecca
rebecca
3 years ago

Oh! I’m such a long time follower! It’s so good to hear from you (although I follow — or is it stalk — you on insta!)

“I would love to talk about how we have made it this far through the Trump years despite our political differences, differences which have only widened and become more painful, just like the dark and terrible crack that seems to be running down the center of our country’s heart.”

SAME! I just want to let you know that I absolutely understand what you are saying here and you are not alone. It’s so difficult. I also am trying to focus on the love.

As always, I love reading what you write and am sending best wishes to you and your family!

Elizabeth_K
Elizabeth_K
3 years ago

Hi! I’m glad to hear your voice. Your bravery and honesty and humor is wonderful.

Megan
Megan
3 years ago

Hello! So nice to hear from you!

Abby
3 years ago

Just another person to say, yes I read your words, yes keep writing them, yes and most of all thank you. I have loved your blog for a really long time and I always enjoy reading a new post.

Kate
Kate
3 years ago

Hi, Linda. :)

Taryn
Taryn
3 years ago

HI – another long time reader here. So glad to see an email with a link to this place where I can read your beautiful words that make so much sense, especially in your vulnerability.
Thank you

Viviane
Viviane
3 years ago

Hi there ! I missed you too. Please write again (and again).

Pete
Pete
3 years ago

Welcome back! Reading your posts is a familiar guilty pleasure. As you are finding the older you get the fewer there are. Your kids are at that awkward age, somewhere between birth and when they move out. Preteen and teenage was the hardest with mine. Giving them the freedom to find out who they are while still restricting them to protect them. It’s a fine balance. Good luck and save some works for us.

Claire
3 years ago

In that flashy ad-driven blogging world, I love that I check in here and now and then, it’s like it was 10 years ago, when people still read the minutiae of peoples’ lives. I still love it and will always love it so I am glad that you still come back and check on us.

Annie
Annie
3 years ago

“I love this space, this dusty old website that sometimes breaks and gets
bazillions of spam comments and hasn’t had a design update in 15 years
and feels like a relic amongst all the shiny white-space
professional-photo sponsored-influencer platforms that are, like,
optimized for devices built in the last decade.”
Those are the kinds of blogs I like! I’ve noticed most that I still enjoy
started out as “mommy blogs”, then the kids grew up and the blogs
changed out of necessity. I’m not a Mom, so I think I enjoy the “new”
version as much as the old. I could live motherhood vicariously through
you all and now I can relate to the challenges of life and marriage and
growing older. But damn it, there really is no good reason for you to
write more !!
HI !

Sara
Sara
3 years ago

Long-time reader (like, we go way way way back) and I also bug you constantly on Instagram. Would love it if you wrote here more often.

Heather
Heather
3 years ago

Love you, Linda!

Kristin
Kristin
3 years ago

Hi! I’ve been reading since your children were small. Hard to believe so many years have passed. I always love your writing.

Nikka
Nikka
3 years ago

You are the most thoughtful, articulate blogger I read! Your descriptions are dead-on accurate, and you write from your heart. And it’s funny. And it’s true. And funny again. Thank you for stopping by! No pressure to do it again, but it was lovely. :)

Sharon
Sharon
3 years ago

Always happy to read whatever you write. So nice to hear from you!

Mel
Mel
3 years ago

Please keep writing here. You are really a gifted writer. Any topic is fine. Love reading whatever you wrote for many many years. Really miss you.

Phoebe
Phoebe
3 years ago

Hi! Happy to read anything you’d like to post since it is always thoughtful/funny/thought provoking and/or just plain great.

Rachel
Rachel
3 years ago

HI!

Sim
Sim
3 years ago

Oh welcome back!!!!

Bree / Frema
3 years ago

I found this entry today after checking links on my own blogroll. We missed you, too!

Patrick
Patrick
3 years ago

The Great Male/Female Trump divide is largely a west coast phenomenon I think. But, most couples just try to avoid the issue (sort of like politics in the workplace). I think it’s best to just grin and bear it…it will be over eventually…just hopefully not until 2024! 😂

Nicole
Nicole
3 years ago

Hi!! I’ve been reading you since the age of suspicious Riley and the forts (do they still build lairs??). I’m another long time lurker/reader and IG follower that gets very happy when I see you’ve posted here. We love all of your words, no matter the subject.

elembee123
elembee123
3 years ago

Hi!
I may be alone in this, but I appreciate the calmness I find here. No ads blinking or screaming at me. No busy-ness vying for my attention. It seems as if the entire world is a mess of screaming/blinking/grabbing/neediness…and it is exhausting!
And then I come here and I’m able to take a deep breath, calm my mind, read and enjoy your words. It helps so much.
Thank you.

Barbara
Barbara
3 years ago

Yay!!! So happy to see you here.

As someone almost twice your age who can look back I tell you this re your marriage: Find a way. Find it, it’s there. Stay the course – it is forever changing as you know, and what’s now will evolve as relationships always do. What you will find in another few years is that building history with someone presents fewer opportunities, and the people in our lives we share history with become fewer and fewer. The history you and John share is priceless.

Everything you’ve ever loved about the other is still there, perhaps sometimes hidden beneath the bullshit of life. Look for it, nurture it, celebrate it. Write each other love letters. Sit knee-to-knee and look in each others eyes for five minutes without turning away. When you think of something you appreciate about the other, tell them. Return to soft belly again and again when you think of things and feel yourself contract. It’s all, in the end, self-care.

Think of trying times as the Universe “Testing! Testing! Testing!” Stay the course as it’s a way of preparing you for something so rich and lovely down the road.

Liz Kreiger
Liz Kreiger
3 years ago

Hi. So nice to read a post again. You are such a good writer. I, too, miss your posts, but I am so glad to hear you are in demand and busy. Your heart is truly always in the right place. Your love for your family always shines through everything. I will look forward to occasional posts and keep checking back in the hope of finding another beautifully written piece. I am pretty sure the vast majority of your readers want you to do what is right for you and yours. I am sure I am only one of many who think about you and your struggles and your wit and grace wish you health and happiness and success.

Christine
3 years ago

Hi. Thank you for saying everything I feel about blogging, and writing, and families. I’m so glad your’e still here.

k
k
3 years ago

I love when you write!