There were two days in a row when I successfully put Dylan down for a nap the same time as Riley and then had two (TWO) lovely hours all to myself and at the time I thought AH HA, I have totally figured out this baby’s schedule and now everything is going to be so EASY! And then he was all, excuse me but I think I’d like to spend about a week sleeping in 10-minute intervals during the day, does that work for you? And I was all, well, shitballs.

He’s not entirely predictable about how he chooses to spend his daylight hours but oh my god he is such a good baby at night. He usually goes down around 8 PM in his crib, and JB wakes him up around 11 for a last feeding before putting him back to bed. His one night-time wakening happens anywhere between 3-5, and it is completely painless: he milkpigs 4 or 5 ounces, farts a few times (he is such a frat boy), then falls back asleep in his swing.

(And now that I’ve described this fantastic behavior I’ve probably doomed myself to an entirely new routine involving round-the-clock feedings and a sustained bout of screaming from 2 AM onward.)

It makes such a HUGE difference when babies start sleeping more. I don’t even think I was aware of how fractured I was feeling as a result of not getting enough sleep, I just powered entire cases of energy drinks at a time and tried to ignore the fact whenever I stopped moving for five seconds my eyes drooped shut and a line of slobber hung from my lower lip.

Oh, and the other big difference? Getting him out of our bedroom. I knew that would help and yet I resisted it, but now that he’s at least starting out the night in his crib and I’m not waking up over every snort and whuffle (and I’m not getting up to feed him at his first squeak), I think both of us are resting better.

In other news that has nothing to do with babies, sleeping or otherwise, JB has been wearing these beige camo-print cargo shorts paired with white socks and clunky Keen shoes, and it is SO DORKY LOOKING, in a very Pacific Northwest dorky kind of way. However, when I made fun of his ensemble, I couldn’t come up with an answer to his question of what the fucking hell he’s supposed to wear with shorts then, Mrs. Fashion Plate?

So what do you think? What should a guy wear with cargo shorts when it’s not quite warm enough to sport the open-toed Teva mandals?

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Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

MANDALS!!!! HaHa

I have no good suggestions, my husband wears shorts with shoes and socks. I have given up trying to give him any fashion tips.

Cassandra
14 years ago

If it’s not warm enough for sandals, I don’t think it’s warm enough for shorts… but he could at least buy thinner socks. Maybe those cut-off ones that wouldn’t show. That might dial down the dork.

Keaton
Keaton
14 years ago

Below-ankle socks with low-ankle shoes. Those socks should preferably match the outfit in color scheme or be black, as white socks always look stupid when exposed. =P

Christian ODell
14 years ago

I’ve always favored my vintage pair of “Ducky” shoes. The kind identical to what Ducky wore in Sixteen Candles.

However, that being said … my wife never wants to be seen in public with me when I wear them.

Oh well.

Christian ODell
14 years ago

I’ve always favored my vintage pair of “Ducky” shoes. The kind identical to what Ducky wore in Pretty in Pink.

However, that being said … my wife never wants to be seen in public with me when I wear them.

Oh well.

JudithNYC
JudithNYC
14 years ago

Wish I could help. My sons (34 yo) refuse to wear shorts because–get this–“shorts are for tourists”. Luckily, this is the only stupid thing I have heard from them in a long time.

Well, I have watched many a tourist and shorty socks to make a difference.

JudithNYC
JudithNYC
14 years ago

DO make a difference, not TO

Christian ODell
14 years ago

Srry originally wrote the wrong movie. As we all know any movie with Molly Ringwald in it is identical to every other one. Age catching up to me.

Kate
14 years ago

Birks & wool socks.

ROFLMAO. Ok I can’t even TYPE that with a straight face.

Nora
Nora
14 years ago

Agree with previous commenter – just change the socks to the ones that come below the ankle and don’t show out of the top of the shoe. That will make all the difference.

eileen
eileen
14 years ago

yes, i vote for the no-show socks with a type of sporty shoe like merrells. and even though they’re “no-show”, there’ll still be a bit that’s visible–it is essential that these are not white. gray or black is acceptable.

i just looked up what keen shoes actually are and they appear in the same family as merrells. and the guy on the website is wearing thick brown socks.

it is imperative the socks aren’t white.

skiplovey
14 years ago

My man wears below the ankle socks and vans. He’s not crazy about wearing shorts (he thinks it’s unmanly but we live in Los Angeles so what can you do, it’s hot here) and he thinks athletic shoes look too athletic-y. So Vans it is.

Tessie
14 years ago

Is he an athletic shoe/sneakers/tennis shoes/whatever the kids are calling them these days kind of guy? Because that’s what I suggest. Ankle-length socks and athletic shoes.

I know the whole slip-on thing is key to some guys though. In which case, I suggest (oh dear) Crocs or similar?

Sarah
14 years ago

Yes, I agree. If it’s not warm enough for sandals, it’s not warm enough for shorts. I tend to be the opposite and wear flip-flops w/ long pants in the interim.

If he MUST wear shorts, then I think your options are low ankle socks (which my husband has pronounced G-A-Y and banned from the house, or boat shoes, Vans, chucks, or something that you can wear sockless.

Coleen
14 years ago

Whenever Gregg pulls that look, I feel like it only looks best either with a sort of darker (heather gray) ankle sock and hiking shoes, or in flip flops. He tries to get away with Tevas, but those honestly drive me insane.

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

I’m guessing different socks are the key. White athletic socks look dorky in every single situation.

Traci
14 years ago

Low-top black Converse with low-cut socks.

Seriously.

ikate
ikate
14 years ago

I honestly think that if it’s not open-toed Teva weather, it’s not short weather. But you live in the outdoorsy Pacific Northwest so I think he could maybe get away with low-ankle hiking boots with low socks (not white).

vague
14 years ago

Well, people have a lot of opinions about shoes and socks here! I have to completely agree with Traci — low-top Chucks and low-cut, runner-style socks (which, I believe, only come in white, but I also think such a sock would look beyond silly in any other color).

BTW, I have a firm stance against shorts on anyone older than 12, but I think I’m alone on that one. Anyway, a low-top Chuck goes with anything!

vague
14 years ago

(Plus, of course, only a sliver of the running-style sock is ever visible, and the white of it would go with the white-toed Chuck. So there you go!)

Sara
Sara
14 years ago

Pants.

Or closed toed Keen mandals and no socks. I have been wearing just this, (Of course, in sandal version) for about 3 weeks now, because A) PNW winter be damned, I am done with you! and 2) No matter what socks I wear, they seem to restricting for my (not so) recent tootsie surgery. They keep me fairly warm and also provide a nice foot breeze. Also? Sandals without the prerequisite pedi. Score.

Kristen
Kristen
14 years ago

I agree with Chucks and low cut/no socks. Although, from what we know about JB, he doesn’t seem like a Chucks kind of guy to me.

Ashley
14 years ago

JB should wear no socks.

And I am going to go in a corner and cry a fucking river because after a year and a half I still have to get up 3-8 times a night….oh my god make it stop. You think maybe Dylan could share the sleeping through the night juice? Huh? That would be GREAT!

Pickles & Dimes
14 years ago

Sorry, if he wants to wear shorts, he’s got to man up and wear sandals – WITHOUT socks.

M.A.
14 years ago

I have long suffered over the issue of men’s footwear — particularly in the summer. I’m sorry, but the only Man who should wear sandals is Jesus, and I don’t mean that disparaging, I just… I just really… don’t… like…. sandals on guys. There. I said it. Men should wear Topsiders without socks, period, the end. Or tennies with socks. NOT, however, Topsiders with socks (a favorite of MY husband’s, espec. after golf, ohdearmy). I know I’m hopelessly outdated, and God knows (as does Jesus, clearly) that men should be able to enjoy the breezy wonderfulness that sandals offer, but… I just… I just don’t… I just… hate the look. There. I said it.

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

My husband is actually a pretty good dresser. He wears shorts with low-ish socks (sometimes white, sometimes gray) and Pumas all the time… I think it looks spiffy! It’s way too cold for mandals in Chicago right now, anyway.

mandy
14 years ago

I just think my husband is hot in cargo shorts with tennis shoes and (short) socks. He rocks anything he dons, not fair AT ALL. I am the one who really needs the fashion advice, so I can’t afford to offer much.

sooboo
14 years ago

I’d say cooler shoes, like converse or retro addidas. That would look less like he was going on a hike and more like he was chillaxing. Socks are okay, white only and low.

Jennifer
Jennifer
14 years ago

Sadly, my husband has gone out in public in khaki shorts, a white tee shirt, and black socks and tennis shoes. It is rare but disturbing none-the-less. Can’t seem to train him on the socks and shorts thing so I just let it be.

Chris
14 years ago

I would suggest Vans with low socks. Congratulations to you for getting the baby outta da bedroom. Big step, that one. You’re going to need to be well rested come Monday :-)

Shannen
Shannen
14 years ago

My husband wears black hiking boots (ala 80’s anyone?!) with EVERYTHING, yup even with shorts :) Embarrassing yes but then I knew that when I married him!

Joanne
14 years ago

My sweet husband wears shorts with sneakers and low socks, but my vote would be to man up and wear the mandals.

I feel you on the broken up sleep thing. I am a BFer and so can’t drink the power drinks, though I’d LOVE to, and I have been nearing crazy lately. I finally just gave up and started going to sleep at around 9:00 so if she sleeps til 3:00 I’ve gotten six hours, which seems like SO, so much now. I am a big Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book person – I like to make sense of why what’s going on is going on.

Laura
Laura
14 years ago

Whaaaa??? No pictures to make fun of????? Give us a little inspiration!

Missy
14 years ago

I’m with all the people who have said — if it’s too cold for mandals, isn’t it too cold for shorts? I love a man in flipflops (as long as he’s a man with non-gnarly toes, of course).

Sara
14 years ago

I fiftieth the athletic shoes-with-short socks recommendations, with a few caveats: the shoes must not be white, the socks should be white unless he is wearing really dark shorts. Dark shorts require charcoal/grey socks; otherwise, go with white. Under no circumstances are white athletic shoes acceptable. Good luck!

foodmomiac
14 years ago

My metrosexual husband who is obsessed with fashion wears cool sneakers (Converse, Prada, etc.)with his cargo shorts if it’s too cold for sandals.

Steph T
14 years ago

I have to agree with the statement of “if it’s too cold for sandals, then it’s too cold for shorts.” But I think the Converse or Van type canvas shoe will work in a pinch. But who am I to talk…I’ve been living in my Crocs with the warmer temps.

Jem
Jem
14 years ago

Suffer with the sandals! We wear heels, don’t we? ;)

telegirl
telegirl
14 years ago

My husband is addicted to flip flops, much to my dismay. It’s still a bit cold here so he has been wearing jeans and flip flops. I can’t. make. him. stop. I’d gladly allow him Keens & hot pink socks, if he’d just wear them.

Gillian
14 years ago

Skip the shorts.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

I’m not familiar with the Keen line so I googled it. Exactly which shoe is he wearing? The dorky slip ons? Because the athletic shoes look pretty cool to me.

That makes me a dork, right?

Andrea
14 years ago

My geekier half wears hiking boots with his shorts until it’s sandal weather. But, he pulls his socks all the way up mid-calf, so he STILL looks dorky.

He also wears socks with his Jesus sandals, making him look like a 60 year old German tourist from the knees down. It cracks me up.

angela
14 years ago

My go-to generic shoes for shorts are chucks or pf flyers.

aside from that, he has a bunch of fancy italian sneakers which i’m not particularly fond of.

Emily
Emily
14 years ago

I’m with Keaton and whoever else. It’s unisexy: shorts, invisible socks, and running or low hiking shoes. A great combination of ready-for-anything and showing a little skin.

Chris
Chris
14 years ago

Definitely Sperry top-siders.

Andrea
14 years ago

How about a pair of running shoes (not the ten year old ratty ones…) with ankle socks? Honestly, any short/close toed shoe ensemble needs ankle socks; it will help the situation immensly. I also live in the Pacific Northwest and it is a rare man that can figure out how to wear all his REI gear in a “cool” way.

AndreAnna
14 years ago

My husband would wear short in the snow if he could, so when he has to wear shoes, he wears the low cut socks and sneakers, but the hiking looking kind, like Columbia. So that I guess he looks sporty or something. Like “yes, I know it’s March in NJ, but I think I’d like to go HIKING!”

victoria
victoria
14 years ago

Boat shoes/moccasins (Sperry Top Siders or their ilk) WITHOUT socks. Or running/tennis shoes WITH white running or tennis socks (that don’t come far out of the shoe). Or hiking boots with hiking socks (NOT pulled up halfway to the knee). A really well-worn, scuffed, heel-chewed-through (NOT shiny or new) pair of Cole Haan loafers WITHOUT socks. (But NOT Mephisto brand loafers under any circumstances.)

Basically, there are two categories to choose from:

(1) any very casual leather shoe that slips on (either completely lacks laces or has only crude laces that are meant to be tied once and left alone), worn without socks.

(2) any functional sport/hiking shoe or boot (with laces obviously) worn with socks protruding only slightly.

Why do I have such definite tastes? Because my totally hot, awesome, SEXY husband who has the body of a teenaged tennis star INSISTS on destroying his own sex appeal by wearing the gayest, dorkiest show & sock combos when he’s dressing “casually.” It’s birth control on his feet.

victoria
victoria
14 years ago

Sorry, I meant “shoe & sock combos,” not “show & sock combos.”