Yesterday, in dreary bullet-point format:

• Riley came down with a miserable cold, complete with feverish whimpering and Repulsive Old Man Cough
• We had to cancel hanging out with our friends who we hardly ever get to see and they have a BRAND NEW BABY and I was totally concocting a multi-step plan for how I could get away with nomming their son’s toes without looking like some kind of toe-nomming weirdo
• While JB was visiting an office just north of us, his truck was broken into, his dash torn to shit, the navigation system ripped out, and his MacBook Pro stolen:

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On the other hand, OBAMA IN THE HIZZOUSE! So, you know, not all bad.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a laptop with personal information on it go missing but boy, is it ever a phenomenal pain in the ass. I should clarify that in this case it’s a pain in JB’s ass, since he’s the one running around like crazy making sure passwords are changed and accounts are notified and fraud alerts are placed and so on, but of course I have to live with him, so let’s just say everyone’s ass will be glad when this is over. Luckily, our homeowner’s insurance will cover the cost of a new laptop, because I can already tell by the twitching and occasional lunges towards my own computer that JB’s going through some hardcore withdrawal.

An additional bummer is that we’ll have to drive my car to Oregon this weekend while JB’s truck is being repaired (his brother’s wedding is finally coming up, and guess whose best man speech was on a laptop that got stolen yesterday?), and now that we have two largish front-facing booster seats, there’s about six inches of room between them in the backseat. So that should be pretty comfortable when one of us, likely the one who doesn’t have “control issues” about letting other people drive AHEM, has to get back there to tend to the baby.

Maybe one of the children could ride in the trunk? Whichever one is being most loud and irritating, say? They should be fine back there, right, if they have good airflow and a toy or two to keep them entertained? Man, talk about two birds with one — oh, I’m kidding.

(Sort of.)

In happier news, Dylan has started doing this thing where he picks up a TV remote, holds it backwards to his ear, and makes little jabbering noises, because — ha! — he’s on a phone. God damn if it isn’t the cutest thing ever. We should get him a little Bluetooth headset so he can be Baby Douchebag Handsfree Cellphone Conversation Guy.

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Is not actually a douchebag. Well, not all the time, anyway.

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Penne
13 years ago

Sorry. Hate the feeling of knowing someone has touched my stuff. Then STOLEN it. Jackasses.
Not that this helps JB now, BUT, should consider mozy.com in the future for auto backups, so even if you lose a machine, you still have your stuff. (like wedding toasts) It’s saved my ass a couple of times.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
13 years ago

Oh, I’m so sorry about JB’s truck getting broken into! I saw you mentioned via Twitter that his stuff had already popped up on Craigslist, were you serious!? WTF people?

stephanie parnell
13 years ago

I read the tweet about possibly finding the stolen goods on craigslist….anything come of that?

Lauren
Lauren
13 years ago

Dude, that sucks so bad!! I would probably beat my husband over the head for leaving his computer in the car after I was done weeping over the theft!!

Good luck!

stephanie parnell
13 years ago

Well hello there repetitive commenter, hows about keeping up?

Guess that’s what I get for not refreshing the page.

Jan
Jan
13 years ago

Sucks about JB’s truck – doesn’t it just piss you off. Had it happen to me once too and it is a royal pain-in-the-ass dealing with the aftermath.
A couple of things I noticed
1)the punks obviously knew what they were doing, and
2)holy crap JB keeps a clean truck!!

Love Dylan’s expression in that picture and good luck in the car this weekend!

BTW, I’m Canadian and yesterday was a big deal up here too. The inauguration received a lot of media attention and I have to admit I was glued to the TV more than when we had our Federal election in the fall. Harper who? Anyway, hopefully President Obama can straighten things out down there for you guys.

mixette
mixette
13 years ago

Oh man, JB, sorry about the break in! I once caught a guy stealing my pull-out stereo in the parking garage of my gynecologist’s office. I yelled at him and grabbed it out of his hands. In hindsite, probably very stupid, but he was very young and looked scared shitless.

Dylan has always reminded me of that E-trade commercial baby…

Pete
Pete
13 years ago

Sorry for JB.

jen
jen
13 years ago

boo for cars being broken into. mine was broken into a few years ago and its such a violating feeling. yay for the laptop being covered by insurance, makes it a little less bitter.

sooboo
sooboo
13 years ago

Man! They got JB good. I had my wallet stolen last week and it was out of sight in a locked car. The cops told me that these types of things are happening so much, they ran out of theft report forms. There’s a huge inconvenience that comes with making all those calls then watching the next few years to make sure no one jacks your identity all to shit. Sucks.

Laura
Laura
13 years ago

Rent a vehicle for the week-end……Maybe your car insurance will kick in???

Kathy
13 years ago

LOL at Dylan talking on the remote! My daughter does this with a calculator that has a flip-open lid. Hilarious!

Sucks about the laptop and stuff. Yikes.

ColorCodedC
13 years ago

Isn’t it hilarious how babies all know to put things up to their ears like that?? My friend’s little one (who’s just a little older than Dylan) does the exact same thing with the remote…and with my cell phone whenever she can get her paws on it. Damn, Verizon should be psyched. Customers in training!

Molly
13 years ago

I just have to tell you this, but not only are our son’s almost exactly the same age, but today Nate was wearing that same Nike outfit (or something really close to it), playing with that same toy, and sitting in front of my bed with the same bedspread.

It is a little strange and I thought you should know.

Molly

Kalisa
13 years ago

love how his toes are all curled up. Pretty nomable theirowndamnselves.

kirida
13 years ago

Aww, bummer about the break-in. My cousin has a similar truck (F-150 I think) and instead of the thieves breaking into the interior, they sawed off the catalytic converter underneath. Still, lame.

Georgia
13 years ago

Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear about the car incident. My car radio was stolen once, but it was more along the lines of “my crappy ’87 BMW was broken into and my $100 stereo was stolen”, but I understand the feelings of violation, etc.

Also, Dylan’s feet in that picture! Want. To. Eat.

Kristy
13 years ago

In times of recession the first thing one must do is hide their valuables. Normal people that normally have ethic’s lose all hope and morals when everything in their life is failing apart through no fault of their own. Now this is not to say I condone theft or those that engage in it, I don’t. But I think we’re all going to hear and see more and more of this as time goes on.

A friend of mine was recently fired for leaving his work laptop locked in his car. Apparently you can’t do that whilst working for some lay off happy companies.

Kristy
13 years ago

I should clarify that he left his work laptop in his locked car, car was broken into, laptop stolen..he got fired for not protecting company information.

Caleal
Caleal
13 years ago

When my car was broken into a few weeks ago, they just smashed out a window. Your burglers seem more civilized.

I’m still picking bits of glass out of my ass. Though I vacuumed like seven times.

kristylynne
kristylynne
13 years ago

Your little douchebag is adorable.

And that sucks immensely about the theft. That happened to me once and the f-ers that did it tore the dash all apart, and I had to get a new one, and it never did fit right ever again.

People are such assholes.

biscuit
biscuit
13 years ago

lmao @ baby douchebag!

please tell me there are no dirty pix of you on JB’s (ex) laptop!

good luck on finding the culprit.

paige
paige
13 years ago

Aw man, that truly sucks about JB’s truck. In college some neighborhood heathens slashed the top of my adorable little VW rabbit convertible and ripped out the CD player. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more violated.

danielle
danielle
13 years ago

I have one of those “it could have been worse” stories! When thieves broke into my friends’ car they cut a bunch of wires in order to stop the alarm. They cut enough wires so that the entire car had to be rewired. Turns out it takes 6 weeks to rewire an entire car.

kate
kate
13 years ago

what did you decide on for a dress for the wedding??

Marie Green
13 years ago

Soooo, is it weird that _I_ feel violated, just looking at that picture of the truck. As excited as I was/AM about Obama taking office, I’m not sure it tips the scales ENOUGH to make a dent in the break-in sucktitude.

Oh, the hands-free cell phone douchebags. Hate.

Hope you find your stuff. And that JB gets the chance to teabag whoever stole it.

Jennie C.
13 years ago

I think the trunk is a fine place for child storage. They don’t know how lucky they have it these days…

Ruth Graham (Rev. Billy Graham’s wife) confessed to locking one of her sons in the trunk when he got out of control. She, of course, through some food in at him when he got hungry.

Jennie C.
13 years ago

What about Dee? And Starbuck? I’m waiting for your opinion on all that craziness!

Momma
Momma
13 years ago

Sorry about the break in.

Surprised that no one mentioned that a baby shoul dbe rearfacing until thery are 20 pounds AND 1 year old.
(can’t stress enough AND AND AND, they need to be BOTH 20# AND 1 year old.)
Rearfacing until they out grow the seat is best. Most convertables are 30 pounds, so he could be rearfacing until then.
Just an FYI :)

cat
cat
13 years ago

Man! I hope he had back up on Mobile me so he can recover that speech. Sorry about the day!

Deanna
Deanna
13 years ago

Here’s wishing that Riley entertains Dylan for ya. Babies always seems amazed and enthralled at the close proximity of the strapped in older sibling.
— Until they older kid hits the age of “He’s touching me! or what I hear now “He’s looooking at me!!!”

Hillary
13 years ago

Dylan has puppy feet … feet that show the size he’s going to grow into it. The Boy has it going on right now, too. SO cute. I hope Riley feels better and JB gets everything sorted out.

MRW
MRW
13 years ago

God that sucks about the break in. Before we were married, my husband’s car was broken into twice in his own driveway. The first time they ripped the stereo out of the dash, the second time they stole his checkbook and the NEW pull-out stereo he’d bought and neglected to pull out. It took everything I had not to ask him why he 1. left the damned checkbook in the car and 2. didn’t pull out the damned stereo particularly since this had happened before. Probably only married now because I managed not to say either.

Shawna
13 years ago

We did have a car break-in but there was nothing of value to take. I do know the suck-itude of personal info being stolen though because my husband’s wallet was taken from him at knife point once and man, did that ever suck.

One of the few good things I can say about it being so cold here is that in the winter: we don’t leave anything in our cars that can’t get frozen, so we have to take stuff like laptops and cameras with us and they can’t get ripped off.

Kari
Kari
13 years ago

Did you lose the battle to leave the kids at home?

Also, car break-ins are the worst. I have a convertible and I long ago learned to NEVER leave anything of value in there and to keep the doors unlocked (they will just slash the top). That didn’t stop some meth-heads from stealing the stock stereo in my last Saab (and it was a ten year old Saab).

Amy
Amy
13 years ago

I’m so sorry to hear about the break in. That really sucks. At least it is covered by insurance, although I know the data stored on the computer is hard to replace.

Your boys are adorable. I love seeing the pictures. The pictures of Dylan cuddling in the last post were especially delicious. The toy Dylan is playing with in the picture looks neat, where did you get it? I’d be interested in getting it for my baby.

April
April
13 years ago

Haaaa. Dylan’s face. So cute.

Man, bummer about the truck and MacBook. I hope it’s all resolved quickly!

Marshall
13 years ago

Sick baby. Truck vandalized. Mac missing. Uh huh… and yet somehow you make it all sound so damn entertaining. Very Dana Perino. Sorry for laughing at your troubles, but Baby Douchebag Handsfree Cellphone Conversation Guy totally put me over the top.

IMAMAMATOO
IMAMAMATOO
13 years ago

So, good thing “Mamma” took this opportunity to tell you about the whole rear facing rules of engagement. You know, because of the whole you being illiterate and unable to read car seat instructions and make your own decisions accordingly thing.

Brenna
Brenna
13 years ago

Only slightly related to your last, but one of the funniest things I’ve heard recently is the slang term for someone who wears their bluetooth headset all the time, on a call or not:

a BlueTool.

*snickers*

Marie
13 years ago

So sorry about the car and computer! Not cool at all.

Dylan is just so adorable!

Sharla
Sharla
13 years ago

Sucks about the break-in. I just *cough*happened to be*cough* looking around the Macbook postings on Craigslist today (See also: Nosey) and came across a posting by a certain “Matthew” who got his Macbook stolen. It sounded a lot like the humor of a Sundry and I was just wondering if it was JB’s posting disguised under a different name? Anyway, despite the suckage of the situation, the writer of the post was pretty funny.
My car was broken into a few months ago, and can you guess what they stole? (other than the obvious: cdplayer/radio) MY DOUBLE STROLLER! What kind of person steals a baby’s stroller?!

Donna
Donna
13 years ago

There’s going to be alot more of that shit now with the economy tanking and layoffs. SUCK!
Took a report like that just last night, big rock through the window, shitty ass stereo in a 10 year old jeep. Why? It’s not like they were gonna even get 20 bucks for it.
Damned transient zombie fuckers. Sorry JB.

Claire
13 years ago

I’m all for time-outs in the trunk; we just drove 7 hours with a 17 month old and I darn near went insane. Sorry to hear about the theft – that totally blows. But you know when things get down, they always swing back up. :)

Shutter Bitch
13 years ago

That’s such a violation. I followed your JimmiJammer link and they have a video linked that shows a truck theft from a surveillance video. Just watching that filled me with anger and disgust and helplessness for the truck owner. I know JB still has his truck, but it’s still a violation. I’m glad your insurance will step up, and I wondered (and maybe someone else said this) if you could rent a car for your trip while JB’s truck is getting fixed?

Please post pictures of the pretty new dashboard when it gets fixed, just so we can breathe a sigh of relief with you when things are set right.

Catherine
13 years ago

If it’s not raining, the roof is better than the trunk for kids. They’re less likely to get car sick and if they do, well – they’re outside. Also, kids need more vitamin D. :)

Sorry about the break-in … might teach me not to leave my laptop in my car. Or maybe to backup to the NAS. But really? Probably neither.

Pam
Pam
13 years ago

Let me just say – LoJack for Laptops.

http://www.lojackforlaptops.com/products/system_requirements.asp

That’s right. $89.00 for 3 years protection.

Works like the one for cars from the same company.