Thank you, thank you for all the suggestions and comments on the house-staging photos. Lots of stuff I hadn’t even noticed, like the deadly pirate flag in Riley’s room. (I retook that one.)

It’s hard not to get hung up on the idea of improving every single potential issue, but I’ve been reminding myself that 1) this stuff is subjective, and 2) our photos already look better than 90% of the crap on the MLS in our area. I’m not saying our house does, I’m saying people are posting some ugly-ass photos. Much of the actual listing info is poorly written, too, which kind of blows my mind. You’ve got, what, 500 characters to sell the shit out of your house? Lose the jargon and turn on spellcheck, at the very least. SPASHOUS MASTR STE W/BRT.NAT.LITE!! might save you some space but it reads like a brain-damaged Shetland pony stamped it out on a Speak & Spell with its hoof.

JB spent his entire evening painting trim last night and I got myself into some spiraling situation where I washed off a dirty spot on a wall only to discover I’d made a huge clean spot and now I had to wash the whole wall oh my fucking hell, while all the while the children ran around us like tiny savages, hooting and beating their chests and knocking over cleaning supplies.

I’ve had the exact same headache for 9 days now and I haven’t had any time to exercise and dudes, I’m ready for a break. I think the hard part is still to come, though. Here goes everything.

Comments

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
62 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JennB
JennB
12 years ago

You can do it.
Take a deep breath, take some advil and off you go, into your new adventure.
Gives me shivers, putting a house on the market with 2 small kids and some animals. I couldn’t do it.

Molly
Molly
12 years ago

I hear you on the dirty wall spot. I did the same thing with some touch-up paint that Home Depot was SUPPOSED to have matched to my sample exactly – except it looked like ‘homeowner painted a brown splotch on her beige wall’. Instead of painting a two story stairwell, I hung up a picture in the most awkward spot instead. It ain’t fun – but think of WHY you are doing it. It will be SO FREAKING WORTH IT! -Molly

Marie Green
12 years ago

Aw man, when we moved our twins were 2 1/2 and I was nearly foaming with HIVES at the thought of showing our house while living there with them. BUT THEN. We found a house the day before we were set to list ours, and due to some really fucking awesome and lucky cosmic realtor magic, the guy who owned our current home was a realtor himself and offered to SWAP HOMES with us.

No shit, we didn’t do a single showing, and he bought our place sight unseen. We closed 2 1/2 weeks later, both on the sale of our old house and buying this one.

SO. Here I am, sending YOU some crazy awesome freaky realtor magic. Hope it works!

Maria
12 years ago

Sounds like a trip to BlogHer will do you good.

Rachel
Rachel
12 years ago

If you want to wash walls, the very best way is to use a sponge mop. You can make it look like you just repainted the room in 15-30 minutes.

Seeing as how you have kids, you will probably want to wash the walls.

marie
12 years ago

hehe ….speak ‘n spell

good luck with the sell process! what listing service are you using?

Jen
Jen
12 years ago

I wish you much luck! Selling a house (and buying at the same time) is the single-most stressful thing I’ve ever done. Parenting included.

As for the keeping the house clean during showings… HA HA HA HA yes, good luck! (and I hope you don’t have to do it for long! We had to do it for 4 weeks and THAT WAS ENOUGH.)

HUGS!

Jamie
12 years ago

Good luck! I lasted exactly 2 weeks living in a house we were trying to sell when I decided, fuck it! And we moved anyway without selling first. It was much easier to clean the house after we moved out and have it STAY clean with no one living there. The bad news is, the house never did sell, but we ended up renting it out, which seems to be working out, our hope is to have the renter pay our mortgage until the market is better, at which point we’ll sell and maybe make money on it instead of lose. Of course, we’re renting now ourselves, which kinda sucks, but, we’re in Oregon and love it. So, worth it :)

6512 and growing
12 years ago

brain damaged shetland pony stamped it out on speak and spell: Utterly awesome!

Barbara
Barbara
12 years ago

I know your pain! I tried washing a spot off the living room wall where our wood stove is and ended up having to wash the entire room! Sucks.

I was away on vacation and must have missed the post…are you finally moving closer to work or closer to family?

Gretchen
12 years ago

Best of luck to you! Moving and selling are two of the hardest things any can do (aside from childbirth and stabbing unicorns). But it’ll be worth it in the end! I promise!

Baking Mad Mama
12 years ago

Don’t even start me on the wall thing! So true. Hope the headache wasn’t made worse by the cleaning products.

Wishing you the very best of luck with it – will be thinking of you all!

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
12 years ago

Oh God, the wall cleaning.
I had a 196 pound Neapolitan Mastiff and I was always cleaning drool off the walls, which left a huge clean spot. UGH.

Courtney
12 years ago

Good Luck!

Jennifer
12 years ago

Buying a house, moving and then selling our old house was the suckiest thing ever. Worse than having 2 kids under 2.

caleal
caleal
12 years ago

Good luck! I hope you find some space for Linda-time soon.

sooboo
12 years ago

Brain damaged Shetland pony! HA! When we were buying a house the worst picture I saw on MLS was of a blurry pit bull running at the camera in front of a dilapidated house. You def need some time to just “do you”.

Mama Bub
12 years ago

I think there’s much to be said for the quality of the pictures themselves. When we listed our house (then subsequently took it off the market when the California housing market came crashing down) the realtor came by to take photos when just my husband was home with a friend. On our coffee table were two disposable, red, plastic cups. They left them there for the photo, so my MLS listing looked like someone had forgotten to finish cleaning up from a frat party.

Bobbie
Bobbie
12 years ago

My favorite quotes that have held me steady through some scary choices:

Following your dreams is not for the timid or faint of heart. Dreams cost money, sweat, frustration, tears, courage, choices, perserverance, love and extraordinary patience……Sometimes all at once; Acknowledge it and continue to move forward- your life is waiting for you….

That which you seek; is also looking for you. (Translation: You only have to be willing to go half way! Yippee!)

Supporting you Linda from afar. Congratulations on your newest adventure.

Stephanie
Stephanie
12 years ago

Go for a run tonight.

Ter
Ter
12 years ago

I should know better than to read your blog in a quite public space. The whole Shetland pony/Speak and Spell garnered me some interesting looks! Hope all goes well with the house! As cheesy and canned as this will sound, when you look back, it’ll be a blip on your radar.

Side note: I’ve hit backspace far too often because apparently I spell like said Shetland pony. Better check to see if this computer is made by Speak and Spell…

Deb
Deb
12 years ago

You are following your DREAMS! It’s awesome, it’s inspirational! And soon, this will all be behind you and you can proceed to the future!

Go You!

Do not judge my overuse of the exclamation mark…I’m hiding my envy.

Tahlia
Tahlia
12 years ago

There are lots of crazy MLS postings out there. Check out this blog: http://lovelylisting.com/ for some.

My favourites are the ones with the strange people lurking in them.

michelle
michelle
12 years ago

Best of luck!

Erika
Erika
12 years ago

Take aleve. It lasts longer.

Brenna
Brenna
12 years ago

“…it reads like a brain-damaged Shetland pony stamped it out on a Speak & Spell with its hoof.”

This made me almost spray Slushee all over my computer.

kristin c.
12 years ago

SPASHOUS MASTR STE W/BRT.NAT.LITE!! might save you some space but it reads like a brain-damaged Shetland pony stamped it out on a Speak & Spell with its hoof.

you KILL me. this? this is comedic genius.

Danell
12 years ago

The Shetland pony line had me rolling as well.

As for your photos, those things are fantastic-pirate flag and all! (Then again, I have a four-year-old, too. So, uh, I’d probably be thinking that room was just calling out for him.)

Victoria
12 years ago

I’m sorry I giggled at your wall-cleaning-spiral ;)

Kathleen
Kathleen
12 years ago

Good luck! I’ll be over here in the corner laughing until I cry at “it reads like a brain-damaged Shetland pony stamped it out on a Speak & Spell with its hoof”.

I can’t figure out why people can’t clean off their kitchen counters for real estate pics – a new pet peeve. But there is one MLS here where the person patently took the pictures while hosting a large barbeque – all these surprised looking people in the common rooms. So weird.

Jen - Mom of 4
Jen - Mom of 4
12 years ago

We moved when my youngest was 2 years old and my older three were between 12 and 7. My best advice is to keep a laundry basket by the door and when they call for a last minute showing you can grab all the toys and miscellaneous crap laying around and put in the back of your car as you leave.

Remember to have fun! This won’t last long and soon you’ll be in that beautiful house!

velocibadgergirl
12 years ago

I can’t decide which made me laugh harder — the pony with the speak and spell or the blurry pitbull picture. Oh my hell. Either way, good luck with the house! I wish I could loan you our realtor, for lo, she is awesome. (But alas, not licensed in Washington)

Adrien
Adrien
12 years ago

“it reads like a brain-damaged Shetland pony stamped it out on a Speak & Spell with its hoof.”

This just made me snort-laugh.

Gnometree
12 years ago

I think its fabulous that you are taking steps to be closer to your dream. Yes, it is scary. Yes, it is hard work. But it will be soooo worth it in the end. Good luck.
and I have no suggestions for how to keep a house clean for weeks on end with a dog and small children. I have trouble keeping my dishes done!

Marolyn
Marolyn
12 years ago

Nine-day Headache….Stress Im guessing, but be wary & take care of yourself!!!

akeeyu
12 years ago

Wait, you took down the pirate flag?

That was my favorite part! No crow’s nest, no plank and now no pirate flag? How can you possibly hope to appeal to the Seafair Pirate market now??

Miss Virginia
Miss Virginia
12 years ago

I LOVE your house, it’s absolutely beautiful. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me what you did to get that stainless frigde to shine like that and not have one single smudge. I use lots of “elbow grease”, but still doesn’t work (though you have much stronger elbows than I do!). Any special product or technique?

karen lee
karen lee
12 years ago

I am totally addicted to that show ‘Sell This House’ – and your place looks just as good as anything they have on that show – minus the uplights.

Good Job

Rhonda
Rhonda
12 years ago

I know you’re really stressed – but seriously – a Shetland pony and a speak n spell? One of the funniest freakin’ things I’ve ever read.

amy a.
amy a.
12 years ago

DO NOT paint that ceiling! What we’re they thinking? It’s gorgeous.

Anne
12 years ago

I feel your pain on the wall-cleaning. I just gave up on the cleaning and painted the whole freaking thing (we had leftover paint, so it matched).

Even though keeping the house in show condition IS a complete pain in the tuchis, I found it was somewhat easier than I had anticipated after we did a major “declutter” of all the surfaces, drawers, and closets in our house (we rented a storage space for the duration). For some reason, clutter tends to attract clutter, building more clutter, and, well, you get the picture.

Good luck!!!!

Jenna
Jenna
12 years ago

Oh god, that Shetline pony line? THE. BEST. EVER. Thank you for the much needed laugh (been dealing with a shitload of stress myself). I wish you and your family the best of luck in selling the house but I have a good feeling things will work out in your favor.

Lizard
Lizard
12 years ago

I hear you on the continuous headache. My sinuses have only just stopped yelling at me after 3 weeks of sudafed, claritin, and neti pot. Hang in there!

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

too funny….I was checking out the listing for Dennis Hopper’s house, (because I have 6.5 mil to blow and was thinking of picking it up) and one of the pictures has some pillows on the floor and there is a big rip in one with this bright pink lining hanging out. Really?? For 6.5 mil someone didn’t notice that???

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

Again with the being inspiring stuff. You are working towards your dreams. Keep on!

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

Speak and Spell – hahahaha

Elle
Elle
12 years ago

As an avid reader for such a long time, I enjoyed seeing your family photos and I just absolutely loved how your house looked like. In my head I saw Riley and Dylan growing up in that house, hanging in the kitchen as teens and eating waffles while you still posted pictures for us.
Sad to see you guys putting the house for sale, but I am sure whatever your reasons are, they are well thought out and whatever your new path is – you guys will make it on top and be very happy.
All the best and hopefully you get the price you’re asking for!

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
12 years ago

We’ve had our house on the market for about 2 months now, and my sons are almost 5 and 1. (My oldest is about a week younger than Riley.) I thought it was going to be a nightmare to keep the house ready for showings, but once we got it ready, keeping it that way has been pretty easy. We now stay about 15 minutes away from clean even in the midst of playing, and it’s do-able. We just can’t have a day where we feel lazy and don’t pick up before bed.

Keep your chin up. It IS possible, and you CAN do it.

To Miss Virginia: Try the stainless steel cleaning wipes. They get my appliances completely spotless and shiny. Every time I use them, I’m shocked by how incredibly clean they get everything.

Ashley
Ashley
12 years ago

We just sold our house and bought a new one in the Detroit metro area. So, if we could do it here, in the recession ground freaking zero, you can do it too. Try not to take pricing and viewing feedback personally. The market has changed and house values are down. We had to remember that although we were taking it up the ass on the house we were selling, we were going to be making it up on the house we were buying. And we did. We wrote a huge check to sell our house, but got an amazing new house in a fantastic neighborhood with great schools for a great price.

buy xanax canadian pharmacy

Yo, anyone ever hear about that electrician in Tribeca called New York Electrician, 94 Chambers St, New York, NY 10007 (646) 415-6723