June 3, 2007

What a crackerjack of a weekend it’s been. JB’s parents came to visit Riley (who acted disgustingly angelic all weekend and prompted many comments from JB’s mom along the lines of, “He just falls asleep without a peep! And he’s such a good eater!” “He really knows how to keep himself occupied, doesn’t he? So independent!” and “Oh, he’s just such a sweet boy”; she’s probably been reading all my kvetching entries on ClubMom and wondering just what kind of intolerant jackass I am, for there is no way this giggling, halo-clad cherub could be the same petite monstre who supposedly pitches nuclear-level tantrums on a regular basis and once bit his mother hard enough to leave a massive bruise for two weeks [so basically my child is like a buggy computer that magically fixes itself when a sysadmin is nearby, if computer = mercurial befanged toddler and sysadmin = doting grandparents]) and their company was like taking a mini vacation in our own home. They got the boy up in the morning, played with him all day long, and were tireless participants in All Things Riley, including walking him down the street several times a day so he could exclaim over the letter E on the sewer grate for the millionth time (“EE! EEEEEE!”).

Best of all, they were more than happy to take evening watch and allow JB and I to have a couple of date nights. (You know: date nights, where you leave the house and kids in order to talk about the house and kids in a different environment. Ho ho, and they say parents are boring!)

I managed to convince JB that we should see that movie involving fast-moving artery-chomping zombielike humans on Friday, and I’m pleased to report that it was mostly successful on all fronts. There were scenes that required careful deliberate eye-blurring (I cross my eyes slightly in the scary parts of movies, so as to achieve the peeking-through-the-fingers effect without looking like a pussy) and there was a commendable amount of character kill-off and I loved the depressing post-outbreak military presence. My coworker said 28 Weeks Later is to 28 Days Later as Aliens is to Alien, and while I gave him shit at the time (because dude: fuckin Aliens. You know, “Game over, man! Game over!”? Movies just don’t GET any better than Aliens) the comparison is actually not completely insane.

I’d discuss the one extremely silly aspect of 28 Weeks Later, but blah blah spoilers. Let me just say a certain suspension of belief—beyond the whole ‘there’s a crazy virus that makes people act like zombies on speedballs’ storyline—is necessary.

So we did that on Friday night, and on Saturday JB and I went back to the Dahlia Lounge for a long, expensive, exceedingly fattening dinner. I had the doughnuts, the just-cooked mini donuts with thick whipped cream and fresh jam, for dessert, and all I can say about that is mmmmmmmmmmmm, ohhhhhh, oh, oh, OH! OHHhhhh. Mmm. Mn.

The weather has been outstanding, sunny and summery, and we’ve spent a lot of time sitting in the backyard while Riley graffiti-tags everything with chalk and splashes around in his plastic pool (“AH WET!”). I even managed to get in a pre-donut run on Saturday and added to my growing mishmash of weird tan lines.

The solitary fly in our ointment-rich weekend was this afternoon when I insisted upon visiting the dog park. We hadn’t been in a long, long time and I figured Riley would love seeing all the dogs and having the chance to run around while Dog went swimming; well, I was partially right. He liked the dogs, but he went beserko-batshit over the balls people were throwing for their dogs. “BALL! A BALL A BALL A BALL!” He’d see a wet tennis ball go flying by and he’d start flipping out because he couldn’t have it. Also, he wasn’t content to stand on the sidelines of the water, he wanted to plunge right in, never mind that it was a roiling muddy mess of dogs and way the hell over his head.

So we’d drag him away from a water access area and he’d be shrieking and flailing and generally experiencing a total toddler system malfunction (note that the grandparents had departed by this time and so missed the chance to observe this behavior, OF COURSE) to the point where half of the park was giving us those half-sympathetic, half-relieved-it-isn’t-them glances. We tried our best—even finding him a semi chewed ball of his own, which he promptly flung into the gaping maw of a passing border collie—but finally left in sweaty surrender, leaving a trail of tears and snot.

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I get JB to return to the dog park (I’m pretty sure he now thinks of it as his personal Waterloo) and god knows I’m not going to try and herd both toddler and Lab by myself, so I guess Marymoor won’t be highly featured on our summer agenda this year. Sorry, Dog. Is there any way we can help you exact your revenge on the boy for this unjust situation?


Oh, okay. Yeah, that works.


PS: here’s our best attempt at a family portrait, taken this weekend:

Child: belly showing? Clutching a toy as if buzzards were circling? Wearing pants that haven’t fit in weeks? Deeply suspicious? Check, check, check, and CHECK.


27 Responses to “Sunny days, donuts, Waterloo”

  1. hello insomnia on June 3rd, 2007 7:43 pm

    Love that dress, Linda.

  2. jen on June 3rd, 2007 7:58 pm

    yay you got to wear it! lol.

  3. jonniker on June 3rd, 2007 7:58 pm

    HEH. I love that you cross your eyes instead of hiding them. I always wear my glasses to the movies. Never ever my contact lenses, NEVER. I used to tell everyone that it’s because my eyes dry out from staring at the screen, but now I’ll freely admit that it’s because when things get scary, I simply take my glasses off so that I can’t see anything.

    The downside to this is that sometimes I miss really critical parts of movies. For example, the end of The Sixth Sense? I was perhaps the only one in the entire theater who Did Not Get It, because I took my glasses off during the end, terrified that some dead person would come out and terrify my pants off.

    Also, you look adorable, as do Riley and JB. Someone has a belly I’d like to zerbert, and it isn’t you or JB, and for that you’re probably grateful.

  4. erin on June 3rd, 2007 8:17 pm

    Oh, but you’re wearing the cool dress from Eddie Bauer! That makes it all better. Right?

  5. samantha jo campen on June 3rd, 2007 8:42 pm

    Congrats on date night and an amazing weekend! Wahoo!

  6. mrscrumley on June 3rd, 2007 8:46 pm

    Well, I will now stay away from our dog park, since I think we will have a similar experience.

  7. Josh on June 3rd, 2007 9:18 pm

    Well, I didn’t get to see 28 Weeks Later on Saturday when I went out on a date. But I did get some bangin stir fry, a sunburn, and I saw Pirates 3. It was cool and funny, but pretty long. Also, I rediscovered the miracle that is red bull. My date made me stay up watching movies until after dawn, and with only three hours of sleep the night before, and a hangover. So I would never have made it through the night without a plethera of Jager bombs. Thanks you red bull.

    I know how it is with things fixing themselves when other people are around. I hate that. But I’m glad ya’ll got some alone time.

  8. Jem on June 3rd, 2007 10:22 pm

    Ha! For the scary parts, I half shut my eyes so that I’m looking through my eyelashes. I did that a lot in 28 Weeks Later. But even that couldn’t stop me jumping every timeI KNEW there was a stupid “jump” moment coming. I wanted to sing “LA LA LA” really loudly but theres no way around that one.

  9. Jen on June 4th, 2007 1:49 am

    But the dress and hair looking fab? Another check!!!

  10. Katie on June 4th, 2007 4:29 am

    I agree with all the dress comments. Mama is lookin’ GREAT!

  11. Keri on June 4th, 2007 5:09 am

    Lovely family pic! The dress looks great on you! My toddler has melt-downs when he isn’t able to do what he wants or when we are leaving someplace where he doesn’t want to leave. It helps to say ‘bye-bye’ to prepare him for leaving, even if it means saying ‘bye-bye’ to a wooden stick. If you haven’t tried that, you could see if that would work with Riley. Transitions are so tough for toddlers! =P

  12. Jan on June 4th, 2007 5:15 am

    OH, My God! We love Aliens also and quote the lines all the time. “Nuke it from the air, it’s the only way to be sure.” “Punch it Bishop!”

    Did you know? I just read the other day that Bill Paxton ad-libbed the game over line? One of the coolest lines in the movie and he made it up on the spot. That kinda makes it even cooler.

  13. Deon on June 4th, 2007 7:34 am

    Enough with the jibba-jabba!

    Real life Zombie Crabs!


  14. Amy M. on June 4th, 2007 7:42 am

    We had a date night this weekend too since my in-laws were over. And what movie did we end up seeing? “Shrek 3”! We get away from the child for an evening & watch a children’s film! Argh!

    The family portrait is adorbale! You should take a pic where all of you are making the deeply suspicious face!

  15. warcrygirl on June 4th, 2007 8:43 am

    Next time let the grandparents take Riley to the dog park while you and JB have wild monkey sex all over the house. Hey, that’s what I would do. Somehow I feel like I’ve made that same comment before, if I have then please disregard. It’s the alzheimers setting in from trying to be in two places at once. Somehow I get to figure out how to have lunch with both boys (in separate classes) at the same time. Oy.

  16. fellowmom on June 4th, 2007 11:04 am

    Those doughnuts at the Dahlia lounge–it’s been years, but they are still the best dessert ever. Yum! I’m drooling like Homer Simpson.

  17. missbanshee on June 4th, 2007 11:15 am

    That might be the most suspicious child ever. Does he have zombie radar? Because he looks like he is tracking Ragers everywhere. Come to think of it, that’s a handy tool to have.

  18. el-e-e on June 4th, 2007 11:50 am

    Suspicious Riley cracks me UP! It’s like he’s thinking, “Why in God’s name are you talking about cheese? There is no cheese here.”

    I nearly bought that dress this weekend. It looks perfect on you.

  19. Claire on June 4th, 2007 12:45 pm

    It’s dangerous to mention donuts to a pregnant woman!

  20. kalisah on June 4th, 2007 4:12 pm

    yes, but you look absolutely lovely!

  21. Melanie on June 4th, 2007 4:37 pm

    I love how suspicious he is ALL THE TIME. You know he’s watching out for zombies, right? That’s a wary of zombies expression 100%. You all look adorable, though. And the donuts sound like something I need to make or eat immediately, because I think I have PMS and sugar and fat? Yum.

  22. Mack on June 4th, 2007 5:18 pm

    Two weeks ago a friend of mine introduced me to your blog. I was instantly interested, but I cannot for the life of me start a story in the middle.

    So I went back, all the way back, to when you were on diaryland and since then have been thoroughly amazed by you. Your wit, your sense of humor that is right up my perverted, sailor-cussing, pet loving, alley. At parts I’ve laughed so hard it hurt, and had to share them with my own husband. You’ve made me cry.

    On diaryland, your first year of doing the New Years recaps, I read that you got your GED and it made me so HOPEFUL of my own future. You, someone I deem so successful in life (regardless of your shortcomings) also got your GED.

    I just wanted to comment after reading about your life and tell you that I really respect, and in a lot of ways admire you. I think you are phenomenal part. You may not be perfect, but you are utterly real.

    Yours is the first blog I have ever been interested in reading, and you’ve gained a fan for life. You even inspired me to start my own blog in hopes that maybe I’ll be able to make awesome, thoughtful, online friends myself!

  23. Mack on June 4th, 2007 7:34 pm

    By phenomenal part, I totally meant parent…so uh, pretend that’s what it says to not break the sappy moment.

  24. Jessica on June 5th, 2007 10:54 am

    Hey, don’t know if you know about these zombie stories… I haven’t read it yet, but saw the page and thought of you.
    Monster Island

  25. Jessica on June 5th, 2007 10:55 am

    Oh, also, since I live in a Waterloo (the one where Blackberries come from), I was excited by the prospect that you might be visiting. Freakin’ Napoleon.

  26. Heath on June 18th, 2007 9:05 pm

    Adorable picture, of all three of you. And Riley’s right to be suspicious – don’t you know that cameras steal your SOUL??

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