My expectations for Dylan’s sleeping schedule have been dialed back considerably in the last week. At this point, here are my only goals:

• He stays down from bedtime until at least midnight or so before the first wakening
• He requires intervention only 2-3 times total
• He’s able to put himself to sleep, i.e. does not require a certain set of circumstances in order to fall asleep which will then change once he’s in bed (like rocking him into unconsciousness, then putting him in the crib, which one of those Ferber books amusingly compared to how you might feel if you fell asleep in your bed with your pillow, then woke up on the living room floor — which depending on your personal history with alcohol would probably either be highly upsetting or disturbingly familiar)

I had high hopes for him sleeping through the night with no interruptions but I’ll tell you, after the initial Great Crib Resistance (which included one entire night where nobody slept a single solitary wink, except Riley and the dog, and there was nothing that could soothe him, unless I wanted to head across town at 3 AM to my co-worker’s house, to whom I had given the swing, and beg to borrow it back for just one more night, which as far as I was concerned would have been a viable choice except for the inescapable feeling that it would have also been like taking Christine for just one more drive), the routine of getting up a couple times to offer some quick comfort is Totally Doable.

(By the way, if you’re wondering why I decided it was time to break the swing habit instead of letting him sleep in it forever, it’s not because my brain is full of angry self-destructive hornets. It’s because he was just too big for it, and could turn his body sidewise in the seat — despite the belt thingie — and get painfully stuck.)

If the above goals are happening without a lot of wee-hour fussing, I’m calling that Good Enough For Now. Yes, I’d like to sleep eight hours in a row at some point, but as long as Dylan and I are getting a decent amount of sleep each night (I happen to think this is a bit more important than my own comfort, by the way), I can deal with continuing to lurch out of bed a few times per night. It’s probably good practice for staying ever-vigilant against zombies: cuddle baby, put baby back in crib, check perimeter of house for uprising of undead, etc.

Oh! Speaking of zombie preparation, I’ve starting taking a real kickboxing class where we work on heavy bags and wear gloves and shit, and while we all know punches and kicks are ineffectual against the living dead, I do feel confident that this class will teach me valuable skills for defending my household from the hordes of survivors who will be after our stash of Chef Boyardee and Balance Bars. Thanks to fefferbee, who let me know about this awesome class that’s just ten minutes from my house, my Badass quotient is slowly increasing. I mean, can’t you TELL?


Uh, okay, maybe you can’t tell in this exact picture, and yes, that headband IS kind of dorky looking, and no, I don’t know what I’m doing with my face, and — listen, just . . . SHUT UP RIDE STOPS AT THE ELBOW.

Also, excuse me but my pain-in-the-ass children are so stinking CUTE:


Super-rad robot shirt courtesy of Kristin, and could you just die. Also, holy crap Dylan’s getting big. I mean, he’s a burly little chipmunk these days, and when he starts bouncing in the exersaucer it sounds like the whole thing’s going to fall apart. I suppose we won’t be using that toy for much longer, which, wow, I swear to god we just bought it.

A rare smiling photo of my boy Riley, who really isn’t always suspicious, I just never manage to capture the many grins with the camera. Especially since he tends to run from the Nikon now like he’s a tribal Papua New Guinean: HALP IT IS GOING TO STEAL MY SOUL.


32 Responses to “Re-calibrated”

  1. ccr in MA on October 25th, 2008 3:00 pm

    “It’s probably good practice for staying ever-vigilant against zombies: cuddle baby, put baby back in crib, check perimeter of house for uprising of undead, etc.”

    Hey, super-congrats for keeping your sense of humor on what little and interrupted sleep you’re getting. This is why I keep coming back.

    Oh, and cute kids!

  2. jennifer on October 25th, 2008 3:04 pm

    My boy is now 7. He didn’t sleep for the first 22 months of his life. We did everything!!!!! Finally, we just went with the flow and avoided conversations that involved how babies slept. He sleeps now. And when he’s old enough, I will be waking his ass up at 8am to cut the damn grass! Just because. We found out that there is a ‘secret’ society of people who have children that don’t sleep and no matter how much you beat yourself up…ie…’what am I doing wrong?’…the kid just won’t sleep…hang in there…it does get better…

  3. Casey on October 25th, 2008 3:27 pm

    Your kids ARE stinking cute. Love the picture of Riley smiling! We have a suspicious kid too and smiling photos are rare.
    Have you tried putting Dylan down for the night by 7 and feeding him around 10:30 BEFORE he wakes up for a bottle? That way he’ll stay groggy and not fully wake up and might be able to sleep longer. Dunno man, that sucks. Good luck.

  4. anna on October 25th, 2008 4:19 pm

    Is Dylan on solids yet? Maybe try an extra feed sometime between arvo and bedtime so that he is mega full….

  5. Liz on October 25th, 2008 4:36 pm

    Will you be in class tomorrow? If we’re lucky, the owner Sean will be there and we will get our asses handed to us. The one time he taught a class I was in I almost threw up and died.

    I’m zombie-prepared! We are going to a Halloween party tonight as Shaun of the Dead and his girlfriend Liz. I have a length of plastic chain and a plastic axe. My husband ordered an actual cricket bat. We’ll survive for a few minutes with our meager weaponry.

  6. Pam on October 25th, 2008 4:44 pm

    Oh.Mah.God. Riley is a heartbreaker!

  7. Lisa on October 25th, 2008 4:48 pm

    Linda, if you don’t have one of these, , go get one. This helped my kiddo (who is 15 months now, and still using it) almost more than anything. I began using it for naps, to get her used to it, and she loved it from the beginning. Even now, I can hear her turn it on iun the middle of the night to get herself back to sleep.

  8. Felicia on October 25th, 2008 4:57 pm

    Oooh, I totally forgot, but our kid has one of those things too… it’s an aquarium one, also made by Fisher Price. We got it for like $2 at Goodwill. He totally loves it though and like the PP I can hear him turn it on in the middle of the night sometimes. It has a light and it also makes little bubble sounds, in addition to the music. (He is almost 22 months and has been sleeping 12 hours at night since 13 months.)

  9. Stephanie on October 25th, 2008 5:04 pm

    I don’t know how many naps Dylan takes a day, but daylight savings time coincided with the dropping of Lauren’s 3rd nap when she was 9 months old. It worked out perfectly when we had to “fall back”. We dropped the third nap on the same day we changed the clocks and she slept through the night.

    Good luck with it though.. I know how much it sucks. If it’s not the kid, it’s the snoring husband..

  10. Stephanie on October 25th, 2008 5:04 pm

    Oh! and P.S. you look bad ass in that picture!

  11. Cameron on October 25th, 2008 6:00 pm

    It’s good, it really is, to lower your expectations. That way, should something actually go right, your pleasantly surprised, rather than being constantly disappointed ;) I’m sure Dylan will get on a decent schedule soon. Pack him full of cereal before bed or something ;)

  12. mixette on October 25th, 2008 6:02 pm

    That is a really beautiful photograph of Riley!

  13. Jan on October 25th, 2008 6:21 pm

    I swear we are living the same life. I look forward to reading your blog because you are experiencing the same things I am – and your writing is awesome.
    I have a 2.5 yr old girl and an 8-month old boy. My girl was sleeping 11 hours/night at 6 weeks old and is still a great sleeper. These days all I want is to be able to sleep at least 5 hours in succession – not too much to ask for right? My boy does not sleep. Hardly naps and wakes up way too often through the night.
    He goes to bed at 7:30. I am back in there at 8:30 to give him a soother. And 10:00. And 11:00. Sometime around the 2:30 mark he starts screaming bloody murder. Think Janet Leigh. I have learned if I go in there it takes at least 30 minutes for me to calm him down and feel confident to be able to put him back in his crib without him waking up. So now I let him cry it out. Although I lay in bed and listen I don’t go to his room. He cries for 10-15 minutes (seems like 3 freakin’ hours) but then falls back asleep. He is up at 5:00 to eat and back to sleep until 7:00.
    So long story short – I’m right there with you and can sympathize. Good thing they’re cute.

  14. Bel on October 25th, 2008 6:33 pm

    I read somewhere that super intelligent people don’t need to sleep as much as the rest of us. Maybe Dylan is really smart as well as really cute? Watch out baby girls!

  15. Anais on October 25th, 2008 7:18 pm

    My one-and-a-half-year-old goddaughter fights sleep to the death. She hates to sleep. She just wants to be up all the time, getting into mischief or eating. She doesn’t go to bed until past midnight (because my best friend does not enforce a bed time). The child finally sleeps when she collapses from exhaustion. Honestly, if I have learned anything about being a mother from my friend, it’s what NOT to do.

  16. sundry on October 25th, 2008 8:20 pm

    Hey Liz: no, I went this morning, and I’d go again tomorrow but uhhhh, I am guessing I’ll be real busy weeping about how much my butt hurts. Seriously: OW THE GLUTE PAIN.

  17. AndreAnna on October 26th, 2008 4:25 am

    My expectations are so low with my almost four-month old, that I figure as long as I’m not drooling in public or trying to eat my own ear that I’m doing alright.

    I had a first child who slept through the night at six weeks but was a miserable baby for almost 9 months thanks to infant GERD. And now, I have a happy, glorious baby WHO DOESN’T SLEEP FOR SHIT.

    It seems like a cruel tradeoff.

    No advice here. Just commiseration.

  18. Lisa B on October 26th, 2008 10:28 am

    Please let us know what you think about the class – I looked at that place a few weeks ago but haven’t gotten out there yet. I like the fact that you can do a private lesson first – “oh, I’m sorry ma’am, you don’t have the skills or stamina and it disturbs others in the class when someone passes out.” :)

  19. Joanne on October 26th, 2008 10:31 am

    Well good. I think half the battle is getting comfortable with what works for you. I haven’t slept all night since January and I consider a good night when my girl wakes up only one time. I am having *yet another* baby in May, which is how we refer to our third, and I am just hopeful that I get a few months after my 2nd is sleeping and before my 3rd is here and not sleeping. I am just going to keep having kids until SOMEONE sleeps! :) Meanwhile, he is getting so big and he’s gorgeous, which has to help. Ha, I still think Riley looks a little stitious in that picture!

  20. Anonymous New York on October 26th, 2008 1:42 pm

    You are unbelievable. I’m having trouble cleaning my closet and watching TV and you’re kicking your butt at kickboxing class, which I tried once and the whole crawl-on-your-hands-and-feet-now-reverse-directions really turned me off. There was too much of a chance of a crotch-plant by people going to fast behind me and I make people take me out to dinner before they stick their face in my hooha. But it was fun. Your kids are too adorable and the pics cheer up my day.

  21. Kristin on October 26th, 2008 1:55 pm

    Hey, I just wanted to write and let you know that I LOVE your Working Closet set on flickr. I don’t have a flickr account so I can’t comment over there, but I hope you keep it up. You always have such cute clothes!

  22. Eric's Mommy on October 26th, 2008 2:02 pm

    Could your kids be any cuter????!!!!

  23. Lori on October 27th, 2008 2:08 am

    I have also lowered my standards. It’s a good night if my 8-month-old only wakes up 2-3 times and goes back to sleep right after nursing. Any night where we don’t have 2 hour crazy baby dance parties is a good one.

    I’m so tired of hearing about babies who sleep twelve hours straight. Actually, I’m just tired in general. But since this is my first baby, it makes me feel better that an experienced Mom like yourself is in a similar situation. Maybe I’m not doing anything wrong after all.

  24. superblondgirl on October 27th, 2008 5:53 am

    Oh my god, smiling!! I swear, I’ve only seen The Suspicious in all the couple years I’ve been reading your blog. He’s so much cuter smiling! Not that The Suspicious isn’t cute, but lord, the smile is adorable. Oh, and if I were (was? I always get that wrong) a zombie, I’d totally run from you and your, um, bad-ass headband. Raaarrr!

  25. Becky on October 27th, 2008 6:20 am

    OMG Riley looks so much like you in that picture!

  26. Gaby on October 27th, 2008 7:04 am

    Oh, man, I LOVED the kickboxing class I took a few years ago. I was never big on the Tae Bo workouts, but strap some gloves on my hands (mine are obnoxiously bright green…it was all they had!) and put me near a bag, and I am in heaven. Sadly, there are no gyms offering kickboxing classes where I live now, so I will simply have to wait until we buy a house and acquire a garage or basement in which to hang a bag, I guess. *sigh* Enjoy your classes, and yes, you definitely look like you could take on some of the undead.

  27. Marivic on October 27th, 2008 7:30 am

    Every second of your hard work shows in that top pic, WOW!

    Speaking of expectations, I always wonder if babies aren’t in there grousing about Those Big People, why don’t they just PLAY already?

    Ok so no real comment here, just kudos on your results, you look terrific!

  28. Tessie on October 27th, 2008 7:55 am

    Um, excuse me, but that headband is AWESOME.

    You look GREAT. Love the fitness posts.

  29. Sabrina on October 27th, 2008 10:54 am

    I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve checked in here! Adorable pics of the boys as usual. And you look ready to kick some ass! You go girl!

  30. Jenny on October 27th, 2008 5:06 pm

    I guess I am one of the lucky moms whose baby has slept through the night pretty much from day one. *sheepish grin* We put the wee fella down at 7 PM after a bath and a warm bottle. He’s out like a light within fifteen minutes or so. Until recently, we were waking him at 11 PM to feed him, but lately he hasn’t needed it (eating more solids during the day). Hang in there! You’re an awesome mom.

  31. AmyBow on October 28th, 2008 5:07 am

    Apparently your Dylan and my AK went to the safe infant training camp.
    1. Fall asleep around 8:30
    2. Wake up at 12:30 and require nourishment
    3. Wake up at 2:30, well, just because
    4. Wake up at 3:30 and require nourishment
    5. Refuse to go back to sleep unless you are snuggling next to mommy
    6. Sleep soundly until 9:30, refreshed and ready for a new day while mommy struggles to keep up.

  32. snore belt on April 9th, 2010 10:06 am

    The general therapy. Snoring

    The patient treatment to snore according to different reasons for different treatments, the selection of treatment is to determine treatment effect is the most important factor. We four points to present the main method for snoring. First, the general treatment. Weight: obesity is one of the factors caused pharyngeal stenosis. Reduces weight loss of airway obstruction. Smoking cigarettes can stimulate the wine, cause inflammation of the pharyngeal pharyngeal swelling narrow, wine can make muscle relaxation, solitary, thus aggravate obstruction after falling. In addition, the side before sleeping refuses to calm sleep all have to snore.

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