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May
20
You’d think that once you were on your second child you would become, if not exactly a parenting expert (can there really be such a thing? I say no), at least upgraded from your status of rank amateur. If I did anything else day in and day out for years on end I’d probably be pretty awesome at it—I mean, just look how I can breathe and eat and shit without a second thought—but this kid-wrangling business? NEVER STOPS KICKING MY ASS.
This morning has been nothing but an endless stretch of meltdowns from Dylan and I’m so frustrated with him and I’m even more frustrated with myself for BEING so frustrated. I know this is a stage, and it’s not like we didn’t experiece the exact same things with Riley: the suicidal tendencies, the screaming, the frenzied temper tantrums, the arched-back flopping. It seems like I should have learned some goddamned coping skills by now, yet I still find myself at the frayed end of my barely-there rope on an hourly basis, staring at my beloved boy and thinking I. JUST. CAN’T. DEAL. WITH. YOU.
I’m frustrated by the angry food-swatting, kicking me during diaper changes, shrieking because a toy is out of reach, pinching me because I’ve picked him up out of some harmful situation, flinging himself backwards onto his head then howling because duhhhhh it huuuurts. These are things that toddlers do, I know this, and I know it’s just part of the job to get through these unpleasant moments, preferably without merrily tossing your child into the Deadwood pigpen, but man, I just wish I had the sense that I was getting better at this.
I feel like I’ve gained all these little skills of lesser importance, like knowing how to cover my hand over a child’s fingers while pulling on a sleeve so their pinky doesn’t get bent back or clapping loudly when a baby is cough-gagging so they’re startled out of their Barf Process or cookie-cuttering a pancake into a star for a picky eater, but where are my deeper wells of patience? Where is my ability to manage a difficult situation without feeling as though the world is coming apart at the seams? Where is my innate knowledge that while we may be in the suck now, the pendulum always swings the other way?
This job is humbling, in every way possible. I thought it would be easier the second time around, but no. It is often times more fun, less scary, and maybe even more indescribably wonderful, but not easier. Not at all.
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I hear ya!! I do day care and have 3 BOY’S of my own, so I never get a break from that!
I can hardly remember when my boy was at that stage. I do remember the kicking during diaper changes and getting so frustrated with him. I remember him flinging his body back when I would pick him up. I have no patience whatsoever, but somehow I got through it all. My husband and I discussed having another child when Eric was at that stage and I said no way.
You said it. And I only have one…could be why I can’t imagine the second one at this stage of the game.
I need to know more about the clapping thing though because I have a major cougher/gagger/barfer over here and it’s become a big problem. I put him in his crib to sleep and he immediately starts in. Bummer
Oh, I know. What I do now is get frustrated with the baby and then bark at the 3 1/2 year old. How fair is that? Poor girl. It’s so much HARDER with two. It’s like you got a promotion but still have all the responsibilities of the old job. Hang in there, girl.
I think people who have kids are so brave. I know I could not handle it, not for a moment, so I’m doing the world a favor and not having any. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job!
Oh, there are a lot of parenting experts. Just ask them. Or look their way when your child is acting less than perfect. I threw temper tantrums when I was a wee lass (last year or so) and I like to think that I got it out of my system because I’m quite thoroughly enjoyable as an adult. Just ask me.
My favorite saying for parenthood to date. “It never gets easier, just different.” The more we add, the more they grow. All just different. If only rasing chidlren was a “skill set” We can ALL learn different skills. Somehow with two children 20 months apart, I have yet to learn how to keep calm, cool and collected in the middle of these kicking screaming movie style tatrums! WTF.
Dude, I hear ya. You have those boys pretty close together and it can be ROUGH…hang in. Just keep em alive!
God Almighty am I glad you wrote this post today. I just sat down on the couch to take a break from trying to put my 6 month old down from a nap. (She is wailing in the other room) and a few minutes ago I was having a Very Stern Conversation with my four year old about how we don’t open the door to strangers when Mommy is otherwise occupied. And the whole time I’m thinking “When will I get this down? When?” It is good and also awful to know that the answer is “Never.”
You know, I find the idea that it doesn’t get easier for you or the other commenters above me strangely comforting. Because that means it is okay to have off-days, off-weeks, parenting FAIL moments, and times you want to sell your child to the nearest circus. Life and child-rearing isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t have to be.
God, I have to stop typing now. I’m starting to sound like a daily affirmation. “You’re good enough; you’re smart enough; and gosh darn-it, people like you!” (KILL ME NOW.) (Or just pass me a martini, whichever.)
AHHHH – How can the majority of your posts make me both LAUGH and CRY…You are truly a gifted writer.
Your posts are so meaningful to me because I also have a 3 yr old boy and a 17 month old. I’m new to a small town and have yet to find many friends nearby with younger kids…so I don’t have a whole lot of other mothers to share experiences with raising kids. Yet, there have been SO MANY times, like with this post, that you so perfectly describe what I’m going through…
Thank you for your posts…I can’t WAIT until you write a book…..
That I don’t have this, the essential and required patience for parenting, is why I wonder if things are working out they way they are meant to for me, and that I may likely be passed the age of having my own kids. My hat’s off to you. And you are a rock star at it from what I can gather, so color yourself awesome.
We’re all faking it. We just have to fool the kids. Don’t you remember looking at your parents and wondering when you’d have it so together? When you’d know everything? The boys think you’re super woman.
There are so many “mommy blogs” out there that make parenting sound like the most blissful thing ever. But I have to say, I relate to this post like no other. I want to be patient with my two year old. But if he dumps his Cheerios out or pees on the floor one. more. time. I really might lose it.
OMG. I so needed to read this post today. I feel like I have been in the trenches of toddlerhood for too long and yet my son is only 2 1/4 years old. I look at my 5 week old and I am afraid, very afraid. Why does everything have to be such a struggle with a toddler?
This was a very interesting post to read. I am due in two months with my second child (my son is 2 and a half), and all of my concerns have been about how I’m going to deal with my current toddler’s behavior when the baby comes. It kind of never occured to me that the baby would cause problems too…I feel like you just seriously burst my bubble! Somehow I was thinking that well, I’ve gone through this age with one kid and I know how to handle it, no problem. It greatly saddens me to think this may not be the case. I am going to assume that my brain will return to normal soon.
I think I remember reading you are also “a friend of Bill”. Those mantras apply to all realms of lif… they really continue to help me, now in different places and different ways.
Wow. I just screamed at my two year old because he was screaming non-stop when I told him “no, you can’t do that because it’s not safe”. I kept trying to put him in another room so I could catch a break, and he kept following me. I know he’s tired and I’m tired, but how do you break the terrible cycle when the child won’t leave you alone? Why does it seem like my friends never raise their voices at their kids? Maybe I need some different friends.
I have 6 kids, oldest is 23, youngest 5…I have nothing to say that will make you feel any better. I knew so much more before I had kids. It’s pretty great when they are grown up and glorious and you can feel all smug whilst secretly thinking that was a happy accident!
Sing it, sister. I spent my entire morning with an overtly naughty kid saying “Get down NOW!”, “Get off NOW!”, “Come here NOW!”, “Out NOW!”. It’s fucking exhausting is what it is.
THANK YOU! I so needed this today…especially after last night and the attempt at wranglin’ my very own Toddler DeathStar this morning. Last night was the swatting food away…and getting seriously pissed that he could not eat the dog food. And this morning with the kicking while I am trying to wipe a poopy butt. Seriously..a HUGE thank you Linda!
It’s because children are TOTAL PAINS IN THE ASS.
I’d like to know, when is it my turn to throw myself to the ground and scream about the unfairness of it all?
I feel your pain and I only have one who is barely a year old and he has the “tantrum gift”. What is the problem with getting a diaper changed? I just don’t understand. One minute you have a smiling laughing little boy who will even sit nicely with you and play with a bracelet, coaster, whatever is relatively safe and within reach but try to give that same item to him while you change his diaper in a poor attempt to distract him for a few minutes and you have a screaming, writhing beast. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
man, nothing makes me want to lovingly drop-kick my little darling more than the pinching.
You are singing my song. I am so with you, I could cry. And often do.
How did I not know ANY of the three of these handy little tricks? Dude, I demote myself to status of toad-like parent.
Kids are all different and while they may all throw the same tantrums and have the same behaviors at the same stage, the triggers and solutions are different. Their personalities are different. We as parents are different from one kid to the next. There’s just nothing ever that is the same, not between one child to the next, not from one family to the next. We all just do the best we can.
Hang in there…..this too shall pass…
Today as we drove from France to Spain with a SCREAMING 2.5 year old in the back seat I looked at my husband and said, never, ever, again! No more kids and no more road trips with a toddler!
Ahh, it reads to me you’re doing alright. You got this under control. You’re just a little frustrated right now. You’re pretty much in or right near amazing individual status. All you need now is a mobile…and a cape…and a mask…a mobile, a cape and mask…and letters on your suit of armor “A&S.” I’ll call Michelle Pfieffer and tell her she needs to stand down. There’s a new sheriff in town.
I am going through the same situation and the past few days have been pure hell. Both kids were screaming at me at the same time today and I had just had it. They were both buckled safely in their carseats in the garage so I calmly walked into the basement, shut the door behind me, and screamed at the top of my lungs. Walked back to the car and we went out and had a pleasant afternoon. I know it was an childish thing to do but I absolutely had to get it out. I have been so frustrated by the whining and screaming and complete shitfits everyone has been having and I had to just scream. Amazingly, it worked wonders for my attitude.
I love that someone up there said they knew so much more before they had kids. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what I’ll feel like in eight weeks when I have my first.
I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ll feel like when I have a second.
I feel like that every day. It seems like it gets harder with Gabe, too. He keeps asking questions I can’t answer. And the questions never stop. Or his absolute certainty that he does not like a food he’s never had before, or he doesn’t like a food that even the pickiest child would probably eat (grilled cheese sandwich, any one?).
Nick is just now starting the tantrums, and they are beyond frustrating. No, you can’t electrocute yourself – reaction: throw myself on the floor and scream. No, you can’t play with knives – reaction: throw myself on the floor and scream. How on earth do they survive this age?
Amen, Sister.
No, not easier. Not in the least.
Perhaps learning is one thing and changing is another. One is easier…guess which? I still succumb to fits of angered impatience (the kamakaze diaper changes come to mind), and always regret my flaring temper, even if it just means I used my LOUD VOICE. And then sometimes, I am filled with…”Serenity Now” for lack of a better phrase, during the same scenario. I’m not sure whether to blame it on the zodiac, my sleep intake or my blood sugar level at the time.
Wow, I completely forgot about the gut kick during diaper changes and the flopping arched-back head crash into the nearest hard object. Thanks for bringing it all back!
Oh, oh, oh thank you. What a morning we had here and maybe I’m not the most horrible mother on the planet after all.
We’ll both live another day and maybe tomorrow our kids will delight more than frustrate. Deep sigh.
You are absolutely right about this job being humbling. I find myself breezing through the “things” that happen on a daily basis — the tantrums I can handle OK, the 4yo shitting his pants once a week doesn’t phase me. But the attitude and the whining, holy crap on a cracker, I just lose my mind. And I have decided it’s because it’s all just so counter intuitive. Whining doesn’t help in any situation and neither does a snarky attitude from a 4yo. Also, screaming from an 18 month old capable of communicating (but not walking, ha!) does him no good whatsoever. And yet they insist on doing it. Over and over and over and over and over and over and… you get the picture. If they would just listen to us. Take our word for it. Just once! Their lives would be much better. But nooooooo… they have to go and grow up on their own and learn lessons on their own and all of that nonsense. Which is, of course, ultimately for the best, but more than a little excruciating for the parents in the process. At this point, I literally wonder DAILY how my mom didn’t stick me in a box and ship me to China at some point because you know she considered it… or at least I have… and she still likes me today, so I have to believe it’s all worth it. Somehow. Someday. Right? Pass the wine please!
i actually tend to feel like i have LESS patience with the second one. i find myself thinking – come ON, been here, done this, move on already kid. which, duh, he HASN’T been there or done that…
I’m on kid number three and I still have no idea what I’m doing.
Maybe by the time they’re eighteen?
More than once I’ve said out loud to the household (i.e., baby and cats), “I have no patience to deal with you people today.” As if cats and babies are people. Heh. The frightening thing is that I know it only gets harder from here.
My sister, a mother of two boys(age 6 and 3) had the exact same complaint. “I’ve been doing this for six years, how come I’m not any good at it? At any other job they would have fired me if it took six years to get any good!” Well, I told her in my INFINITE wisdom, there’s no other job that changes so constantly. Riley doesn’t need the same parenting now as he did three months ago, so it’s essentially NOT the same job.
So, you know, don’t beat yourself up.
Laura, Adequate Mother since 2008
heh, Deadwood pig pen.
As I’m not a mom, I have no wonderful advice for you, but I can say, as always, thanks for not blowing sunshine up my ass about something that is really HARD! And I’m going to go take my birth control now…
I don’t have kids, but the pinching thing, I think, would be the one most apt to elicit the “oh HELL NO” response. I tip my hat to you moms, esp ones who are honest about the hard parts.
Recently during an especially low parenting moment (actually wondering if I could rig a tranquilizer dart, I mean actually) I asked my mom how SHE did it. “You were always calm, never got mad, never yelled, why can’t I be like you were???”
She laffed and laffed and laffed. GUFFAWED. Full bore. I can’t tell you how much better I felt. Same as reading your post, thank you for being so damned funny and excruciatingly TRUE both.
I REALLY needed this today, Gracias. All of the responses make me feel a bit more normal, like there are so many kindred spirits out there once I peek out from under the shame spiral of mom-ness I feel trapped in lately. Yesterday my 2yr old threw a medical-grade tantrum in Target, two people actually approached me and asked if they could “call someone for me”, like that would help. I was seriously looking around for the Nanny 911 cameras or a CNN undercover sting on horrible parents. Once I got both of us to the car, I sobbed. THEN did it all over again this morning when god-forbid I try and get the kiddo out of the house for his over-priced once a week music class. I actually sunk to the low of calling the husband at work, first time ever, sobbing saying “I can’t do this, can’t do this, can’t do this” while trying to stop myself from carving out my eyeballs with a melon baller. I think the worst of it, is the dull ache I feel in my chest after each tantrum, like the feeling when you have a nasty fight with a boyfriend, close friend or spouse, like you are insanely doing everything horribly wrong. ‘Cause of course, it is always YOUR fault, ugh! Anyway, thanks for topic, the responses have mellowed the ache a bit. for today anyway :-)
I had one of those days yesterday. My darling, darling pumpkin of a boy is 2 and a half and an absolute evil terror. He spent all day following me around, whining and then throwing an enormous tantrum when I wouldn’t follow his very specific instructions. It makes me want to scream but I settle for shouting and slamming doors. A healthy example to set!
I’ve had plenty of those OMG I can’t take it anymore moments, akin to being smack in the Bell Jar. The good news, is that it does seems to come in waves. I may feel like I’m going insane on a daily basis and just can’t deal, but then one of my two will do something cute to raise my spirits to turn things around for a spell. So, yeah…pretty much right there with you.
Thank you again for putting into words exactly how I feel!
Humbling. That’s the perfect word to describe parenthood. Thanks.
I have a one year old and nearly 3 year old and know completely what you mean! At times it feels like they intentionally tag team cry/whine and it does get so frustrating. I’ve learned the only thing I can do is walk away, because virtually nothing I say or do seems to make it better. Whenever we can, my husband and I try to switch off in the moment of craziness to give the other person a sanity break. Not always possible, but man does it help!
It’s interesting to me how, day to day, I feel differently about it all. Some days I can handle all that stuff better, for longer. And on others, I feel so incredibly bereft of the patience and will to carry on. I ride my son’s mood swings as much as my own, I suppose.
Toddlers are evil. They are the cutest damn creatures with their chubby cheeks and drooling smiles and cute little babbling songs. They lure you in. Then they kick you in the nuts.
I feel your pain. Times two. My twin girls just turned two, and this next year may just break me.
I really needed this today, too. My 12mo old has just started throwing mini-tantrums, combined with walking around the house pulling at my legs whining and crying. He’s also stopped napping, which means even more whining, screaming, and tantrums. DH is gone almost all the time – works not only all day but also one day on the weekend and most evenings. We just moved and I don’t know anyone here. So every day feels like a series of parental FAILS for me. Like I’m just trying to get from one moment to the next, forget trying to you know teach the little guy anything (he doesn’t speak yet). I wish all of my moods weren’t wrapped around the ToddlerDeathstar. When he’s happy, I’m happy and love being a mom, when he’s going through a looooong stretch of evil I feel like running away from home and can’t believe how little patience I have. Oh, the little angel has discovered kicking during diaper changes – this makes me *berserk*, esp. when said diaper is poopy. Yesterday he seems to have figured out he can kick ME too.
Said like a true mommy. Here’s hoping for a quick exit from this stage of development.
and just when you breathe that sigh of relief that you’ve finally managed and got through the toddler years…..
along come the teenage years….
urgh
I feel ya Girlfriend. Hardest job in the world.
You had me at the Deadwood pigpen reference.
You’re absolutely right–it doesn’t get easier, just different. And thanks to all that is holy, some of the “different” is super-awesome, which helps to make up for some of the colossal suckitude.
Thank you for posting this and all of the readers for chiming in.
The Boy is 20mths. When the whining, leg-clinging and throwing of tantrums gets to that magic point where ones vision starts to blur, one feels very alone.
It makes it so much easier to know that one is not….
ps. planning for the next one early 2010. Pray for me….
I totally agree with you. I often feel as though I completely suck at being a Mom. Then, they kiss you and say they love you out of the blue and it’s totally worth every second of crap you just endured.
Don’t you just want to toss him in a padded room for a few months??? I only have furkids. I’d visit my BFF and I thought her kids were either (a)dying or (b)killing each other at this stage. She had two 10 months apart. She practiced the perfect art of tuning out. I never managed such a feat. I’d leave her house with the feeling that I made the right decision – no single motherhood for me. In my mid-30s, when the clock ticked, I’d go for a visit. The clock had it’s battery removed by the time I left the house.
I had a major meltdown last weekend *after which my husband accused me of being bi-polar* because my almost two year old threw his food on the floor… business as usual but I am SO FREAKIN TIRED of cleaning food up off the floor. I have a three year old and a two year old and i need a freakin BREAK from the sweeping and mopping already!
Wine, lots of wine. Get it by the bucketful. And duct tape.
Oh my god do I hear ya! Every night before bed I promise myself that tomorrow I will be the picture of calm and patient and not yell at my kids and by about oh 7am it is all shot to hell. Ugh.
Oh amen sister. I’ve got two girls (3 and 2) and the little little is in the head banging stage. She’ll find the hardest, most pain enducing area possible and crash her cranium into it repeatedly. For. No. God. Damn. Reason. My new mantra, “I will not kill my child. I will not kill my child. Screw excellent parenting, I WILL be reasonably decent parent.” Lowering the bar. Works wonders.
God do I feel you, especially today. My 2 year old has been just full of himself and it is making me crazy. Crazy to the point that when he threw a full bottle of peanut oil out of the cart today I seriously considered how I could sell him on the human body parts black market. Then I got to experience the joy of the guilt trip for thinking those things when he gave me a hug and a kiss and said “Thank you Momma” when I gave him his lunch. Toddlers thy name is CRAZY.
BTW, loved the “Clockwork Orange” reference on one of your tweets yesterday. Keep that up and I may become a weird stalker desperate to befriend you.
People, this is why I go to work. I am paying some one to let my slightly feverish cough til you puke three year old scream because the table bumped her on the head. Or the shoe hurt her foot. Or whatever. I suck at least as much as all of you, but I don’t have to do it all day. Heh-heh.
This clap when they cough thing? Made my day. I can use this one . . . see, my blog reading really isn’t a waste of time, honey! Today rocks. Sorry yesterday sucked for you.
Blahahahah. Deadwood pigpen. That’s one I’m gonna have to steal and use for my guys. My other half will howl and the kids won’t get it. Perfection.
My daughter, the youngest of four, is two. I’m still waiting to be good at this whole parenting gig, too.
Right now, I’d give ANYTHING to be able to go to the bathroom by myself. Either she’s in the bathroom with me “You go pee on potty, mommy? Are you poopy, mommy? Ew!” or she stands outside the bathroom door, screeching to be allowed in. And then SHE has the flush the toilet.
DUDE.
This is SO me. I could have written this, except that I only have one child (the universe is smart like that, not putting me in charge of more), and he is 8 now… I have never learned to cope. Everyday, every hour, every minute is a struggle to know simply how to deal.
I envy the parents who are relaxed and let things slide off their backs, or who have kids that don’t cause them to pull their hair out in the first place… but then I laugh at those parents. We’ve been through the fire, we’re tough, we rock. Even if we didn’t learn a damn thing along the way… we fucking survived.
I too cannot stand the kicking during diaper changes. It freakin HURTS! Lately I have been keeping a book on the changing table and every time we change a diaper, I hand it to him. I have about 1 minute of distraction time. Better change that diaper fast!!
It’s thoughts like these (of my own) that makes me wonder if we should stop at one kid. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing most of the time and I’m afraid I’m messing him up by being the uptight parent.
Holy crap, woman. I am right there with you today!! I thought I had infinte patience myself, but today pushed me further than I though possible.
I only have one so far, but my daughter is teething– no wait it gets better. Its not just one tooth comming in, no shes a late teether. It gets better, its 4 AT ONCE!!
I seriously wanted to sell her little butt on eBay for a bit today. Okay, not really I love her more than anything, but she did have me in tears twice today.
While I wish you and your cuties nothing but bliss, it made me feel better knowing someoen else is going through the same crap ;)
While I work full time so it’s a necessity, I fully find daycare for the 16 month-old and preschool for the 4 year-old a way to break up the times between alligator-diaper changes and 4 yo defiances, meltdowns, or other life grievances. It keeps me a fresher parent, able to enjoy them more and tolerate the crap a little better-that said, they can drive you insane (I also have the luxury of therapy). On another note, my husband and I recently took a mini parenting workshop that left us feeling hopeful that we can strike a better balance in our family-speaker was way funny and strategies made sense to us, so we’re trying to adopt it, though habits are hard to break… Anyway, it’s:
http://www.parentingontrack.com/
Good luck!
We’re in the middle of hell over here right now and I’m feeling similarly helpless. I don’t know when it gets better but we’re barely holding on over here. And why the hell do kids throw themselves backwards? We had both kids pull that shit in the bathtub tonight and it was not pretty.
Funny but the elder never tantrumed…sure he beat the shit out of me, kicked me in the knees repeatedly, and was totally against any form of sleep at night. (That’s not to say that he’s not without his faults HAHA).
Then I got the newer model…he back arches, hands to his face, face to the floor, hitting, kicking, screaming ‘noooooooooooo’ at the top of his lungs.
His happy ass spent about 4 minutes in his crib when I snagged his tantruming hiney out of the shower dried him briefly and tossed him (ever so gently) into his crib turned out the light and shut his door.
I went in 4 minutes later when I heard the screaming die down and said are you done? He nodded yes. It was so fucking worth it just to see him tell me he was done. LOL (He’s 22mos BTW).
This is going to sound like a joke, but it’s actually not. Has anyone ever made some kind of mild shock collar for children? Obviously you would need at least a full strength one by the time they hit five or so, but certainly for toddler you would think a mild electric shock to the neck ought to remind them that kicking whilst poo is around is not cool. Although, now that I think about it, that would probably be illegal.
Я тоже временами такое вижу, но как-то ранее не придавала этому значения.
Толковый автор
Тут есть ктото с Украины?
Афтар недоумок
Здраствуйте, я создал трекер http://viptorrents.at.ua очень нужна Ваша обєктивная помощь и оценка.
Да, сколько людей, столько и мнений, но истина где – то рядом :)
Прикольный сайт. Посетите интересный сайт о почтовиках, здесь все о заработке для новичков на почтовиках и буксах.
Все получается хорошо, когда освоишь вышивание для начинающих.