Mar
27
For the past month I have been working out nearly every day. I alternate between a bunch of Turbo Jam DVDs and various exercise programs I rent from Amazon Unbox (primarily Tae Bo, although I just tried a Crunch Boot Camp video that featured totally cheesy people but was gratifyingly ass-kicking), and I do strength training with hand weights.
I have also been dieting. No, I haven’t been “making good food choices for a sensible long-term healthy eating plan”, I have been fucking dieting and there’s a difference you know. I mean, when you’re eating rice cakes and baby carrots on a regular basis it’s a DIET. When you are using a measuring cup to dole out food portions it’s a DIET.
All has not been in vain; I’ve lost almost 10 pounds and all sorts of muscles are re-emerging on my body. This morning I saw a deltoid AND a triceps. On the same arm! And I am not even lying when I tell you my ass has moved north by at least three-quarters of an inch. My whole ass, for real. I guess all those flailing back kicks are doing some good, although I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling like a brain-damaged donkey when I do them.
HOWEVER. Despite the Tae Bo Ab Workout, the Turbo Jam Ab Jam, and countless minutes spent shooting murderous glances down towards the pillowy flesh erupting from the top of my jeans, my midsection remains a post-baby trainwreck. Things are loose, things are wrinkly, things are abundant in nature. I don’t even know what all is going on down there, whether it’s leftover fat I need to burn off or if the muscles themselves got stretched out and wonky and are unable to perform their assigned Containment Duties or WHAT.
I thought I’d torture myself by trying on my Joe’s Jeans and um . . . well, here’s how they fit at the moment:
Maybe it’s hard to tell in that photo but the only way I could button those sumbitches is if I were willing to be rescued by a team of firefighters using the Jaws of Life afterwards.
Here’s a tantalizing side view of my, ah, protuberance, and jeez I can’t believe I’m posting this:
(Um, pardon the explosion of laundry visible in the background there.)
(Also, isn’t it funny how body image changes so drastically during and after pregnancy? If I were 20 weeks pregnant I would be THRILLED to show you that picture.)
(Also also, keep in mind that shows everything stuffed into a snug pair of stretchy pants, for all of our comfort levels I will spare you the bare-skin photo.)
(THUS ENDETH THE PARENTHETICALS.)
I know it’s only been a couple of months, I’m just feeling very very impatient to lose the Buddha Belly and be able to wear my clothes again. I also have this growing worry that no matter what I do, the belly is what it is: a vacated domicile that sustained some long-term damage from the last tenant. I should have taken out renter’s insurance! Or, you know, I maaaaaaybe shouldn’t have eaten my own weight in ice cream on a daily basis through the last half of 2007.
PS. First person to say “nine months up, nine months down” has to change a poopy diaper. And he’s been working on a BIG one all morning.
Comments
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My God, you look better than I do and I had my baby 6 years ago!
You look great, and way to go on the working out and dieting. I have been slacking off.
All I gotta say is … I feel ya, sista!! Except, for me, it has been 3.5 months and I miiiight not have been quite as diligent in the exercising – but next week starts a new era. I’m getting serious! The “jelly” MUST go!!
Best of luck to you. And, once you have accomplished the jelly removal, please share your tips & tricks for those of us still suffering!
To make you feel better…
I have that tummy and i have never even had kids! (no im not pregnant either) at least you have a reason for that belly. And i must say… you are doing so well! i only manage to make it to the gym once a week. I wish i had your enthusium
Hell, I’ll say it!! Nine months up….if it means I could possibly, after changing said poopy diaper, snuggle him for a minute?
Honestly though…. you will get your body back where you want it. You did it after Riley and you are in really good shape.
Keep the updates coming though…we’re all in the fight with you (just lost 30 pounds here).
God that baby is cute.
OMG you look fabulous. Seriously. I know there is nothing I can say to make you change your mind, but really, give yourself a tinytiny break. You work out EVERY DAY holy geeze. You should get a medal.
Um, I would kill to have your skinny legs. Lucky bitch.
You are doing everything right, just keep it up. I cant remember how many weeks you have to give your uterus to go back to normal but I bet thats part of whats up with they midsection. 10 lbs off is awesome! I wish I could get my shit together and workout everyday.
It’s a while back now (ok 12 years) but I do recall from my last pregnancy that I was told to go easy on the abs for a while. They weaken and get this division thing down the middle during pregnancy and if you overdo the sit-ups you can damage the muscles. So take it gently!
I have been feeling similarly about my stupid post-baby belly. Of course, my plan has included eating a bunch of sweets, moderate exercise, and just waiting for the weight to FALL off. So, I ordered new jeans in a larger size then my prepregnancy. At least I won’t feel as fat about my jeans being too tight. Or something.
1. I am in awe of of your will power. Seriously. Carrots and rice cakes. And you have two kids and a husband to take care of. Wow.
2. I can only dream that my ass and thighs will ever look like that. And I have 0 kids.
3. I know none of this makes a hill of beans difference to you. Just keep doing what you’re doing. You look great!
Dude, keep working out, but wear a really tight girdle for a little while, it will smoosh things into the right areas. Also, part of the reason is that you are still swaybacked from the weight of the baby. That takes a little while to go back too.
And finally, quit being so hard on yourself, you will look back 10 years from now and go damn, I was a hot mama!
Your ass does look fantastic.
My kid is 2 and I weigh 20 pounds less than I did before I had her, but I still have another 15 to go. I didn’t diet away the first 12, it was morning sickness and the gestational diabetes diet. Whee. In the last month or so I’ve lost another 8 through South Beach. Do I exercise? Oh, hell no. And that explains the plateau. I haven’t lost a pound in 3 weeks.
Anyhoo, I have the same belly as you. All the weight I’ve lost seems to have come from my cheeks and my boobs. Unacceptable.
QUIT TORTURING YOURSELF!!! Good lord woman! you just had your second child! It is quite possible that you may always have a litle “belly fat” – but you’ve got two kids to show for it! Anyway, you look good for just having the baby, most women don’t lose that much weight that quickly if they’re not breastfeeding. So consider yourself LUCKY and DRIVEN. :)
For real. And when people give me this “9 months on, 9 months off” b.s. I’m tempted to correct them, to say that it’s actually 10 MONTHS, and then I’m doubly depressed.
SO HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME TO WORKOUT? I’m sorry for the CAPS LOCK there, but that’s honestly what I think every time I read that you do Turbo Jam. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? See? Again with the CAPS LOCK.
For what it’s worth, I think you look fabulous. And you know what they say.. 9 months on, I’ll kick you in the teeth.
ohmygodwoman, you have made amazing progress. That’s some serious will-power. And I have no idea how women who have babies find time to work out, I am childless and squeeze the time in, but… man, I’m stunned. Good work!
Holy cripes, your ass looks great! Damn. Donkey leg kicks huh, I guess I need to give that a try. The belly will squoosh back into the jeans confines soon enough. Your tenant did just only vacate the place.
And the heck with the belly photo – let’s see those hot arm muscles again! The Delt! The Tricep!
I think that you look great. You are inspiring as usual. It won’t take nine months to get back into your extremely impressive pre baby body. It will probably take longer than a month or two. One thing that I have learned with working out is that it is hard to stick with it if you don’t reward yourself once in awhile.
You look great! And clearly you don’t have any real body issues…who *doesn’t* want to look and feel good in their clothes?
Pilates “the hundreds” are gentle on your body but kick-ass effective!
Hang in there! You did it before and you’ll do it again!
You guys are too damn nice.
Sarah Lena: I fit it in during the baby’s naptimes, and when I have both kids (Riley goes to daycare part time) I try and strategize Dylan’s napping to fit with Riley’s. One thing I’ve learned is that it seems really hard to find that time but if I think of it in segments it’s not as impossible as it seems. This occurred to me one day while I was sitting reading blogs and I kept getting up to reset Dylan’s swing music — it turns itself off every seven minutes. Well, what if I had been working out for a few of those seven minute intervals? It adds up pretty quickly, which is another reason I love Turbo Jam: the videos are all broken into graphic segments so you can think, well, I only have to make it through 2 more minutes of this particular routine, it won’t KILL ME to finish. You never think, oh god I can’t do 35 straight minutes of this BULLSHIT.
OMG he is beautiful!
Dear Sundry,
You look too awesome for a woman less than 8 weeks post-partum. Pls stop, kthanx.
Love, Swistle
gurl…I SAW your before pictures and your body had gotten so KICK ASS after Riley that I have NO DOUBT that you’ll be there again after this one.
Holy doodle but Dylan is adorable. I just want to cover him in little kisses.
Look, lady, you were able to flatten that tummy after the birth of Riley. There’s no reason why you can’t do it again. JUST BE PATIENT. Sorry but I’m gonna say that you gotta give yourself 9 months max (I’ll change that diaper if you pay my airfare to fly over there *wink*). Perhaps it will be less than 9 months as it was for me (about 7 months and I didn’t start exercising until 5 months after birth!). You are doing awesome and looking awesome…keep up the good work and BE PATIENT! =D
I’m with Eric’s Mommy. I think you look terrific and way to go on making time for yourself. It’s been five years and I’m like, yeah, got to get around to that one day.
I have that very same tummy – although 13 months after my son was born I am still coming up with excuses for why its still there… working full time, moving house, new job seem valid excuses to me but I know that its not going to go away by itself. One day I keep telling myself… I like the idea of having DVDs to work out with – maybe a few more of your posts will inspire mwe to do more than just think about it!!
Mine is 13 months old and I haven’t even reached the weight I was the week after he was born! So, don’t feel too bad, at least YOU didn’t go backwards!
You have GOT to chill. You are getting there, surely. And you look fantastic.
It’s like 10 years BEFORE my first pregnancy and that’s exactly what I look like. Weird. So you look good, etc. And now I’m going to go cry and feel sorry for myself.
Sashay your cute little ass over here so I can punch you in the head. TIME sister. Give your body TIME.
You look fucking awesome.
I went back to my full-time job at 6 weeks each time and that did it for me. I agree with everyone else: time! It’ll be gone before you know it as long as you are patient.
I am a now-addicted lurker to your blog. A friend forwarded me one of your hilarious entries a little over a month ago and I was hooked!
I am now almost 7 months post-partem with my first child and I think I am channeling your impatience with the belly jelly issue! My problem is not just my belly. It’s an all-over, 15 pound cottage cheese rubber suit I’m wearing that I can’t seem to unzip!!! Best of luck to you! Sorry for the novel of a “comment”
I’m chiming in to say be proud of yourself…your ass is 3/4 on an inch farther north than before! Rejoice. If your ass is moving north, the stomach will follow. It won’t take 9 months to lose the baby weight…but at least give it a couple more weeks. It hasn’t even been two full months yet! You are doing awesome. Besides…at 11 weeks pregnant,I’m looking at you hoping I can look like that when I come out on the other end.
Look how shiney your floors are! That’s impressive.
Linda, you look really beautiful to me in both pix. Despite the fact those jeans aren’t zipping up at the moment, your shape is lovely both from the side and front view. Don’t worry, your size will come back. Keep truckin’ girl.
P.S. I want your baby! He is so cute, I think I could spend my whole day tickling his toes without getting bored.
Well not nine months, but maybe more than nine weeks? You look really great and you are exercising and feeling good and getting more rest and things are on the up right? So they’ll continue, worry not. I think especially because you had the c-section, it just takes some time – I remember on the cartoon they showed us about the c-section (I am too chicken to see the real thing on youtube) they SPREAD your ab muscles and reach through them for the baby! So it’s just going to take a little time but really? You look really good and better than like 90% of regular chicks so hang in there. You are an inspiration to those of us who had a baby before you and do not look nearly as good!
One of the reasons I’m the tiniest bit reluctant to get pregnant again is just this: because, like you, I worked SO DAMNED HARD to lose the baby weight from the first pregnancy plus THIRTY ADDITIONAL POUNDS and I’m not so much scared that I’ll worry DURING the entire pregnancy, but more that I’ll want to kill myself for sabotaging all that hard work AFTER I’ve given birth again.
But that is why I will just return to this website and see that I am normal. So thanks. Very much in advance.
You’re such a hottie! The protruberance is tiny & cute. Didn’t you ever see Pulp Fiction, where Maria de Medeiros muses out loud to Bruce Willis about how she would like to have a little pot belly? Your belly is actually kind of sexy — another womanly curve. (But yeah, it can take a few months for the loose skin to snap back into place. Don’t worry, it’ll be all flat & toned soon.)
Seriously, my jelly is jigglier (is that a word?) and bigger than yours and my baby is almost 9 months old. You look awesome!
Of course, I won’t lie and say I’ve actually been working out. I was just hoping that it would disappear after 6 weeks like it did with the first baby. Sadly, I think my poor skin has been stretched beyond repair. Time to console myself with a bowl of ice-cream.
Oh Sundry, you look great and try TRY not to worry so much (easier said and all, I KNOW) because it will get better. I fretted a lot about this, thinking that 3 months after my second was born I should be back in my clothes already. I wasn’t. I am now though. It just took a little longer the second time around, but it happened eventually after I stuck with the exercise (not so much the diet; I have a real hard time with that part; easier for me to DO something rather than NOT DO something, e.g., eat brownies).
Good for you! Exercise! Sucky diet! Keep up the good work, Momma.
I had this feeling after my second c-section too. Except I think I was a tad more weepy about it. The thing that helped the most was just kick-ass painful stomach work, especially on my sides.
You look great, and I wish I was the discipline to do a video every day. I think I’ll look up turbo jam on Amazon. Maybe the boys would do it with me (Ha)!
Sweetie, go easy. 2 months? Seriously, are you competing with crack addicted celebrities? You’re doing everything right and it’s working. Keep it up and I bet you have your belly back in 2 more months. I think Pilates is a great idea (with a reformer) but maybe hard to get out to sessions with your life right now!
Yuck. Rice cakes and baby carrots. Maybe that’s why I can’t lose my final 15 (is it baby weight if I gained it when my son was 11?). I don’t want to eat those things. Every time I try to diet I feel so damn deprived after three days of eating like that I feel insulted that such deprivation hasn’t resulted in hitting my goal weight after 72 hours.
Sigh. I’m going to go make some snickerdoodles.
I’m with all the people who said “I have a Buddha belly and I’ve never even been pregnant!” Seriously. So I know exactly how you feel, and I’m on a diet too. It sucks. A lot.
All that being said… those are the coolest stretch pants I’ve ever seen.
Oh fuck me, you look great. I mean, I know it’s not really a consolation to hear this, but if you think about all the shit your body went through not even two whole months ago? I mean, it’s not a small feat, plus there was actual surgery.
I know that doesn’t help when you’re in the throes of it and I know you’re not looking for excuses, but rather, results, but put your results in perspective, man. It’s pretty fucking awesome.
Um, I still look 9 months pregnant (albeit saggy, not firm), and I gave birth nearly 3 years ago. Granted, I have twin belly, but I would change a hundred poopy diapers each of everyone’s kids (including my own) to have your little belly pooch.
After dieting, exercising, and bitching, I’m convinced the only thing that will work for me is a tapeworm and plastic surgery.
Completely unrelated – thank you for still posting personal snippets over at PD. I know y’all are supposed to be doing the celebrity gossipy crap, but your posts are the ones getting the comments now. : )
I’ve been searching for the secret to losing the jelly belly for 16 years. Somehow, I managed to do it after the first kid, but after the second, no luck. I’m sure you can do it, though. I didn’t have the drive you do. Now, just as I pass by age 45, my jelly belly is a nice place to rest my boobs when I’m not wearing a bra.
I gained 60 lbs when I was pregnant. I had Maggie a couple days prior to you having Dylan. I bought a scale last night @ Target + it told me I have 25 lbs to go before I get to my pre-baby weight. Regardless of such a big drop in an 8 week frame, my pre-baby clothes still don’t fit worth a crap. I have major muffin top in my “fat pants” + all my once comfy shirts constrict + show my belly errrrr jelly.
It’s so goddamn frustrating + Maggie does not have the patience to piddle around a store with me while I buy temporary yards of fabric to cover my funky shaped ass!
I’m right there with ya, sister!
PS: I hope Maggie marries Dylan one day!
tee hee hee!
SOOOOOOOO CUTE!
How do you work out everyday while also posting like a madwoman?
um, ok, seriously, only celebrities look better than you at this point, post-pregnancy, ok? so stop beating yourself up because you have a HOT BODY. i am sure that you won’t feel that way, but honestly, some non-preggo women would love to look as good as you do now. and you won’t need nine months down. like maybe a couple more weeks. hang in there, and don’t stop eating ice cream. life is too damn short.