Okay, you know I love your kids, but DUDE. That would make me INSANE.

Do you think maybe he’s singing?

my kid does this all the fucking time.
its so annoying. we call it her “thinking song”. it started when she is thinking about something and has now graduated to whenever she feels like it.
we just have to tell her to “cut it out” and she sometimes stops.
eh. kids. just as equally hard as they are awesome.
good luck.
love annie

I think he needs some oil? Or WD-40?

I love at the end, just the one word, Right.

Maybe he’s trying to tell you that he really needs a three wolf moon shirt: http://tinyurl.com/c7qhop

My kid is 2 and a bit. He says “Huh?”, over and over and over when you tell him something. Drives. Me. Insane. Also, he totally does not get sarcasm. Thank god.

Wow. OK, I get why you’re cranky, but WTF is his problem? :-)

My baby is 8.5 months old and she’s doing something similar…and you’re telling me it’s going to last into toddler-hood?!?! Hers is more like a dog whining though, which makes it even more fun with two dogs in the house and mommy running around going “who is whining now?!”

It’s a good thing my mom makes wine or I’d be broke by now…

He’s seriously cute though.

Maybe he’s opposed to guns? Haha, I loved how he stopped only to get up and come thwack you with his toy. Too funny.

And all of the parents in the house do this:

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

…

BAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Because we’ve all been there. He’s just being verbal. We tried telling ours to be quiet. It works. For 3 seconds. I would invest in ear plugs.

My 13mo boy does this too. I’m told by a self professed child expert that it’s engaging certain areas in his brain that help him relax…because, you know, a toddler’s day is just so stressful.

I loved your little “right…” at the end. What else can you say? At least he’s cute?

Seriously, just a phase. An annoying phase, to be sure, but it does end. You know, until the next annoying phase. :) I know, really helpful, right?

He’s lamenting the fact that his gun is FAKE and does not shoot lasers like REAL guns should!!

And after eleventy-million hours of you not GETTING IT, he decided to try a different tack and whack you with said FAKE gun to drive his point home.

DUH!!

I recommend running away from home! For you, I mean. Run away to a spa and come back with ear plugs! YIKES!

He’s totally making laser gun noises. ;)

Ok seriously? I’ll totally trade you. My 11-month-old is shrieking. Like, sudden ear-piercing, for no reason, Nazgul banshee SHRIEKING, occasionally offset by just plain yelling. I can’t make him stop. My blood pressure is through the roof and my ears are ringing. I can’t even think.

My 15-month-old does this. All. Day. Long. I’m really hoping that language explosion happens soon. Now, preferably. She also shrieks like a banshee. It literally makes me ears ring.

She also walks backwards when she’s angry. I think that’s weird, too.

Toddlers are such strange little creatures.

I’m so sorry. I suggest ear plugs because there is nothing that can be done to stop it. Toddlers, they are unreasonable creatures. In fact your attempts to stop it will only make them desire to do it more. If it’s any consolation, he’s really cute.

My kid does what my husband refers to as “devil speak.” Incessant tongue flicking and chanting…mlah-mlah-mlah-mlah-ble-ble-ble…..At least the creaking isn’t (as) spooky.

I totally just made my baby sound like Satan. He’s very sweet, mostly. I promise.

Remminds me of Billy Crystal watching TV in the movie When Harry Met Sally. As for advice, I’ve got nothin’ for ya.

During this phase I just turned the music up and taught them how to dance around to the White Stripes. I agree with your quote in this clip- dude, seriously.

OH so sorry…..I think “right” just about sums it up.

My HUSBAND does this! When he’s overtired or falling asleep. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it and yes, our son inherited it.

It makes me want to stab myself in the ear-holes with ice picks.

I have my little man in his crib right now going down for a nap so I put on my headphones to watch the video. When I finished, took my headphones off and heard that same noise in my own house. You are not alone, girl. You love them but man, it can drive you crazy.

I’m with Amy up there on the SHRIEKING. My daughter is almost 10 months and shrieks her bloody freakin’ head off all day long. It was cute at first, because look she’s making a new sound! Now, not so much.

“Right.” So perfect.

OMG HE’S HAUNTED!

Dang it, this one’s so easy.

It’s a deep rooting psycho-social adjustment issue when boy meets girl. The last time I went through that I was a single man, I’m thinking 43 or something and laid around the house groaning like that for days because the girl I loved, or thought I loved, wouldn’t talk to me.

Don’t worry, he’ll get another girl.

Nailed it!

Linda,
I feel your pain. My child does not creak or moan; he MEOWS. For hours. He thinks its hysterical and it makes me want to take him to an animal shelter in hopes that some blind cat-loving person will adopt him and appreciate all his meowing.
Hang in there.

Wow. Yeah, that’s. . .special.

I have no idea. Teething? That’s my go-to for horrible baby syndrome.

If he was playing with a car, I would say he’s making NASCAR noises — car racing around the track sort of thing. Not that identifying his intentions would make the sound any less irritating. Ah, kids… can’t wait to have them. I’ll make sure not to play this for my husband or he’ll start crumbling up birth control pills into my morning coffee.

Turn up the music — my favourite suggestion. My kids are older, but I still turn up the music when they’re bickering in another room (or playing they’re recorders). I REALLY love it when they’re play fighting – because all the real fighting doesn’t drive me crazy enough.

YES! The Three Wolf Moon Shirt!!! I saw that yesterday and almost DIED!
My daughter would hum like that if she was tired… and still does. And so does the boy, now that I think about it…. Put him to bed!

Oh my. I have no advice other than he’ll outgrow it. My son growled from the time he was a baby. He eventually did outgrow it.

Think of the positive. At least you’ll always know where he is in the house. Follow the creaking!

God made them cute so we will not kill them. Thats all I’ve got.

How can you stay upset when they have such cute cheeks. On another note … AWESOME CHAIR!

Gas??

My daughter’s been doing that since she was 6 months old. I call it the boring whine of death. She’s now 14 months old and it’s louder, more annoying, and not showing signs of stopping.

Good luck. I can’t believe that none of those books out there ever spoke about all the shitty things that come with parenting. It’s all roses up your ass when you’re pregnant. Everyone saying that having kids is like planting a garden, or some shit like that.

But it’s not. It’s tough and hard and taxing, and if I didn’t love that little brat so damn much, I would have blown this taco stand a long time ago.

Thank the fuck it’s Friday.

Sounds like a frustration noise to me…….the really “joyous” part? Neither you nor HE knows what he’s frustrated about!

Yeah, that…might get old fast.

I think I would’ve turned that gun on myself. A figurative death if not a literal one. ;)

I love how he whacks you with the gun. “Put down the video camera and enhhhhhhhhh with me, Mom!” :)

Maybe consult your Zombie Survival Guide on how to deal with baby brain-eaters? He’s young; perhaps he can be trained NOT to want brains.
(I am also relieved to see that someone else refers to their son as Dude. Do you ever count how many times a day you say “Dude. Seriously.”? I don’t suggest it.)

Bumbling: dude, you made me laugh so hard the dogs came running to see if I was okay. I lol’d! I really did. Ribs hurt, and can’t breathe.
And was just talking to my daughter who’s not quite two year old was putting her fingers in her ears and screaming as loud as she can while the 5 year old laughs her ass off. Which encourages her to do it more, and yada yada yada. And we are going to the mall later. Hope she forgets by then.

oh my fucking god, we are living parallel lives. I sat on the floor of the gym this morning and cried (OK, I wanted to – but I blamed the choking up on allergies)because the guy in the daycare told me that if Q didn’t stop crying, they’d come get me out of the pool. And I was all, “NO!” because he’s not really crying, he’s doing THIS .

Ah! My niece did that – I watched her at the time. It drove me nuts! I don’t remember when she stopped… I do know she’ll be 13 this year and doesn’t do it anymore. ;-) Seriously though, this video just gave me enough of a flashback that I am compelled to make my first comment.

I love the “right” at the end, so perfectly conveys your resignation and frustration.

Does he do this no matter what you all are doing? or is it more of a bored on a rainy afternoon noise? I don’t have any similar stories to tell, thanks be to God for that, I think I would lose my mind.

I love your blog, it’s a preview into the hell I’ll be living in a few months. It almost helps prepare me for what’s to come. Almost