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Archives from 2002-2006

The other day while we were all eating breakfast Dylan leaned to one side in his chair, grinned, and purposefully ripped a squeaky toddler-sized fart. Not to be outdone, Riley instantly demonstrated his newly-mastered skill of burping on command. Both children dissolved into hysterical laughter while JB beamed with pride.

It’s not like it wasn’t official before, but lately the dynamic in our household has become abundantly clear:

:::

So hey, I fixed the problem of not being home in time for dinner. It isn’t necessarily an ideal solution, but it’s working. It feels good to have gone through the process of identifying something that was important to me and taking the steps to change the situation (duh, right?), and reminds me that goals are nearly always worth whatever effort they take.

Now if I can just get my family to stop off-gassing at the dinner table, but something tells me I’ve signed up for a lifetime sausage party.

While greeting him in his crib every morning:

“HI Mommy! HI Mommy! Where Daddy go? Where Daddy go? Daddy EXershize? Changea diaper? Have pants? Have pants? Make faffle? Have peanut butter? Where Riley go? Have MILK? You like HORSES, Mommy?”

While getting his breakfast ready:

“Sit onna counter? Sit onna counter? Make faffle, Mommy? Faffle hot? Where STICK HORSE go? I don’ KNOW! Where STICK HORSE go? Sita counter? Have PEANUT BUTTER, Mommy? Riley have PEANUT BUTTER? Have SYRUP? Here Riley! Here Riley! Have MILK, Riley?”

While sitting at the table:

“You like HORSES Mommy? You like SHEEP? I like a COW! Dere’s a bird Mommy right DERE right DERE! Riley dere’s a BIRD! Right DERE! Have FORK, Mommy? Have FORK? Have NAPKIN? I DID IT! I DID IT! GOOD BOY, DYLAN! WIPEA FACE!”

While driving to school:

“I SEE A BUS! I SEE A BUS! RIGHT DERE MOMMY RIGHT DERE! I SEE A MOTOCYCLE RIGHT DERE! I SEE A BIKE MOMMY! RILEY SEE A BIKE? SEE A BIKE RILEY? RIGHT DERE, RIGHT DERE!”

While hanging out after dinner:

“You like horses, Daddy? I like horses! You like horses, Mommy? Riley, you like horses? Watch horses TV? Watch horses TV LATER? Watch Yo Gabba Gabba? See MUNO? Where STICK HORSE go? DERE it is! I founda STICK HORSE! Good BOY, Dylan! Watch dis Mommy! Watch dis Daddy! BIG JUMP I DID IT! Have cracker? Have cracker? Have yogurt? Have MILK? Mo milk PEASE. Thank you! Watch DIS watch DIS! Mines? MINES! MINES TOY RILEY MIIIIIIIIINES! Here go Riley. I DID IT GOOD BOY!”

While sitting in the rocking chair before bed:

“Read Boohoo Baby? Read Boohoo Baby? Have itsy spider? Sing row row boat. Have . . . Pookie.”

While lying in bed, tucked under a blanket, every night, after I pat his butt and murmur “Shave and a haircut . . . ”

“TWO DILLIES.”

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