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My verdict on taking a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old to The Muppets: I’m sorry to say they didn’t love it. I can’t even disown them like I threatened to, because really, for their personal attention spans, it went on a little too long and involved too many jokes they didn’t quite get. They stayed in their seats and weren’t obnoxious or anything, but there was kind of a LOT of squirming during the last half hour or so. Thank god for popcorn.

Also, what’s up with kids’ movies having, like, four thousand previews ahead of time? I mean, I know this is a prime opportunity to get children all slobbery with anticipation over the latest animated whatever, but jesus, way to shoot your wad sitting-still-wise before the movie even starts.

Also also, the trailer for Pixar’s new film Brave isn’t really turning me on, and I’m not sure why, because come on: PIXAR. Maybe because it looks like How to Train Your Dragon, But with Feminism and Also a Bear.

Today I had to write an article about Cyber Monday and I was very glad that I was only writing about Cyber Monday and not participating in Cyber Monday, because in past Cyber Mondays I’ve occasionally lost my damn mind over all the HOT DEALZ and ended up purchasing some awful gift simply because it was 40% off. Here, have a novelty USB drive! Or this pair of men’s gloves, upholstered in real Corinthian leather!

I am, in fact, basically done with Christmas shopping, and have been for a week or so. I know! I can hardly believe it myself, considering my rich holiday tradition of paying out the ass for expedited shipping on December 22nd. My last gift purchase was prompted by Amazon, whose deal-notification algorithm has greatly improved from the days of “As someone who once bought a set of nested mixing bowls, we thought you’d be interested in this new book, Raising Alpacas For Fun and Profit.” Instead, they sent me an email letting me know that something I’d looked at had gone on sale, and booyah. Click. All the adults on my list: DONE. All I have to do is wrap that shit and try not to screw up the nametags, like I did that one year when I accidentally gifted my grandfather with a fancy ladies’ robe.

I could maybe use one more gift idea for Dylan, if you feel like offering up some suggestions. I got him a stuffed kangaroo with a (removable! so cute!) baby kangaroo in its pocket, because he’s been obsessed with wallabies lately (I know, that sounds weird as hell: MY KID IS SUPER INTO WALLABIES AND HE’S NOT EVEN AUSTRALIAN), and really, he’s the easiest by far to shop for (Dylan, surveying an empty box: “Mommy! You gotted me a box! Thank you!”), but if you know of a particularly awesome toy/whatever for a 3-year-old that doesn’t involve a ton of tiny pieces or batteries, let me know.

Can you believe we’re talking about Christmas? It seems to me like this year has just blown by. Like every month was set to TiVo’s triple-boop speed.

It rained when we left Seattle and never let up once, all the way to Eugene, which has to be a first for that drive. Just relentlessly dreary weather that was kind of nerve-wracking to drive in because every now and then we’d hit one of those I-5 divots and get the eerie sensation the entire truck was waterskiing down the freeway, but the morning after we arrived in town the sky peeled back its ever-present layer of gray and everything was lovely: fresh and green and still dripping in the sunshine.

Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, delicious and fun and the boys behaved fantastically, even though Dylan would only eat rolls at the dinner table but whatever, they were some goddamned great rolls. (Thank you to whoever suggested this easy-peasy “recipe.”)

The boys are totally enamored with their baby cousin and I am too. Oh, he is a buttery little squish of awesomeness, and I especially love that miraculous part where I can hand him to his parents if he starts fussing. God, that is the best baby setup ever.

(“Ai!’ squawked baby Charlie at one point, and Riley was convinced he had said his first word. “You know: I,” he said to me, earnestly. “Like…I bet he was trying to say ‘I like volcanoes and dragons.'”)

There was a lot to like about this trip but oh, it was also a challenge, maybe because six of us were sharing a small house for three days, and I’m awfully glad to be home. I’m glad to be out of the reality of the visit and looking back on the handful of photos I took that show some of the brightest moments. That is often the magic of photography, don’t you think? Whether it’s a blurry badly-framed Instagram image or a gorgeous high-end SLR photo, sometimes you can choose to focus on the spirit of what you captured, and let the rest of it go.

It seems so weird that it’s only Saturday today. What will you be doing with the rest of your weekend? I am thinking of taking the kids to the Muppets, and if they do not love the Muppets, then I don’t even know, man. BANISHMENT.

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