Nov
4
I’m pretty sure we’ve all got the same critical, history-making subject on our minds right now, and that is this: why the hell did I sign up for NaNoBloMo when it requires me to post on ELECTION DAY FOR CHRISSAKES.
Okay, I’m renaming it Baby Stuck in a Hanger Day, because then this photo will be all topical and shit:
So Dylan started clapping a while back and now he claps when he hears the word “clapping”. I can’t remember when or if Riley did this but I have of course decided that Dylan is a total brainiac, possibly even some sort of gifted child, despite the fact that he routinely chokes on his own index finger.
I was never particularly interested in baby signing when Riley was little but now I’ve checked out all these books and am determined to teach Dylan how to communicate with us, being as how he’s a genius and all. So far his only response is a curious stare during mealtimes when I say “MILK! MIIIIIIILK!” while making the sign for milk, which is sort of an udder-squeezing gesture that frankly is a tiny bit dirty looking, if you were to picture replacing the invisible teat with . . . well, nevermind.
Anyway, hilariously enough it’s Riley who really digs the baby sign language, and if you don’t mind me insinuating that both my children are clearly destined for MENSA, he’s got some of these signs down. Sure, he’s not exactly a nonverbal infant, but you should see him making the sign for cat! Why, you can practically see the whiskers he’s pantomiming.
Plus, we’ve started making our own family signs. 3-year-old behaving as though his brain has been replaced by an angry swarm of bees, complete with eardrum-rupturing levels of whining? He’s crabby (stick both arms out to your sides, clamp hands open and closed in a crab-claw motion). Husband once again places his cereal bowl casually on the kitchen counter instead of opening the freaking dishwasher which could only be more conveniently located if he ate breakfast INSIDE it? He’s a poophead (squat into chair pose, grunt, then pat the top of your head while staring meaningfully at the cereal-bowl transgressor).
I don’t know if we’ll keep up with it or not, but it’s kind of fun so far. Did any of you do baby signing? Did you think it was useful?
Nov
3
This morning I got a random email from a PR company representing Cafemom.com, informing me that “the mommy jury isn’t out.” On a poll of 22,000 moms that Cafemom ran recently, 39% planned to vote Obama, 37% McCain, and 12% planned not to vote at all.
I guess it’s possible those 12% are non-US citizens. Or teenagers who watched too much sexy television.
(Like True Blood! For real, are you watching this show? I kind of love it, and holy god is it ever dirty, with almost every episode involving not just smutty human-on-vampire action, but, like, the detailed sort of sex scene where the male actor does a reach-down-and-aim-the-bologna-pony sort of penetration maneuver complete with violent hip jerk to indicate he’s Found the Entrance. The last two episodes alone? Totally responsible for at least fifty teen pregnancies, I’m SURE.)
I just don’t get it, otherwise. Why would you not vote? No really, why on earth would you choose to not vote in this election, or any presidential election? Even if you hate both candidates, surely there is a candidate you hate marginally less than the other? Who can just sit back and not participate, this year of all years? It’s mind-boggling, much like the term “mommy jury”.
If nothing else, people should ask themselves which candidate would best protect the citizens of this country in the case of a zombie infestation. Who would remain calm and strategize a plan of action, and who would succumb to the siren song of brrrrraaaaaaiiiinnss? Personally, I think the answer is obvious.
-
My product review site:
[