May 2, 2007

I feel a little bad for making JB sound like a big clueless lunk when it comes to special occasions, so let me tell you what we’re doing this weekend.

It’s our anniversary on Saturday (because why NOT get married on Cinco de Mayo? Celebratory corn chips and beer for life! Well, corn chips, anyway. Corn chips and Red Bull!) (Oh my god that would give you the worst breath ever) and JB’s parents are coming to stay with us for a few days starting tomorrow.

No, wait, it gets better. (Haaaa, seriously, if I just ended it there, would that be grounds for divorce, or what? I’m just saying.)

So they’re going to stay with Riley and bask in his glowing, only-grandchild presence—the little boogereater is probably going to behave like a perfect goddamned angel, too—and JB and I are shacking up in a hotel in downtown Seattle for a couple nights. We’re going to sleep in, go out to dinner (any Seattlelites recommend Crush? I’ve heard good things), order room service breakfast, go see some movies (I’m thinking Hot Fuzz, for one), and tool around the city doing whatever the hell we feel like, sans toddler.

In past years we’ve gone to exotic, tropical locations for our anniversary vacation, but I can’t even tell you how good this local weekend sounds. I’m particularly looking forward to having several meals in a row that I did not have to shop for, prepare, or clean up after. Also, if there is at least one mid-afternoon nap, I will count the occasion as a spectacular success.

JB was the one who pulled the weekend together by making the appropriate reservations and booking the arrival of the grandparents, so despite his cabin-suggesting tendencies, he knows what’s what. JB is good people.

Don’t go thinking he’s Mr. Romance all of a sudden, though. This is still the same man who routinely offers me a “protein snack” when he spots me rustling around in the kitchen.


57 Responses to “Getaway cars, idling”

  1. Sadie on May 3rd, 2007 6:06 am

    Oh! And Happy Anniversary! Have a wonderful weekend sans toddler.

  2. Sherri on May 3rd, 2007 6:38 am

    At least it’s not just mine that offers the protein snack! Of course, his cures all that ails you – have a headache? Protein snack! Cramping? Protein snack! And so on and on and on and on…….

  3. kate on May 3rd, 2007 7:07 am

    I’ve gotten the “protein snack” offer off and on throughout our marriage, but right now I’m in the “protein snack free zone” of pregnancy. A month ago when I was, for about 15 minutes, not throwing up, and said I was craving some protein….

    Yes, he was exactly that stupid.

  4. Operation Pink Herring on May 3rd, 2007 7:49 am

    My boyfriend thinks it’s hysterical to offer me a “protien shake” every time I mention being hungry. He and JB should be friends. Then they could commiserate about how their women can’t take a hint, I mean it’s just a JOKE, there’s no reason for her to sigh like that and mutter about buying a chastity belt on Ebay. GOD.

  5. Alyson on May 3rd, 2007 11:08 am

    OMG! I thought I had the only husband in the world with the stupid “protien snack” line! What is it……do men come hardwired with second rate sex jokes??

  6. kristin on May 3rd, 2007 11:35 am

    protein snack….sounds like my charming husband.

  7. Melanie on May 3rd, 2007 9:55 pm

    I thought about that for a minute before realizing what you meant. Which means my husband is apparently slacking in the gross department or I’d have picked it up right away. That weekend sounds so awesome, have fun!!!

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