I was kind of hoping for a nice upbeat week after the drudgery of last weekend’s endless traveling and myriad associated ass-pains, but first JB came down with a miserable cold (which came on at his mother’s house and I had to keep reminding myself that when my sons are grown men I too will probably still think of them as my baybees and may even possibly fret to their wives over their every sniffle and moan but still, there is only so much eye-rolling a person can be expected to hold at bay before they experience something like a total system meltdown complete with a sarcastic diatribe about how I’d spent the entire night with 9 and 1 dialed on my cell phone, breathlessly waiting to hit that second 1 the moment his condition deteriorated, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR) and has left him a hacking, ague-ridden husk of his former self, unable even to muster the energy to ask me if I needed my own temperature taken orally or via backdoor meatstick; then Riley got sick as hell and ran a scary fever and couldn’t sleep and oh yeah, barfed all over the backseat of my car; then I had a routine checkup for Dylan this morning that resulted in an unexpected ear infection diagnosis and a motherfucking amoxicillian prescription, AKA the Pink Stuff You’re Supposed to Get Down a Resistant Baby’s Gullet Twice a Day for How Long Wait Say That Again Are You SHITTING ME TEN DAYS?

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Hi! Dosing syringes make me puke, so THIS ought to be interesting!

I remember when I thought it was stressful to go to the pediatrician when I had one child. Who was in a carseat. Now I have to keep one eye on Riley who’s beelining for the chalkboard in order to scribble giant screechy letter Rs all over it while yelling LOOK MOMMY R FOR RILEY AND ALSO ROCKET!! and the other on Dylan who oscillates between staring openmouthed at the fishtank and making a break for the front door because hey you know what’s more fun than a giant room full of unfamiliar toys a BUSY PARKING LOT.

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Riley seems to be on the mend, but his mood is fractious and he’s about one serotonin level away from filming himself doing the ugly cry about how we all just need to leave Britney alone because she’s not well right now.

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I only made it to work one day this week while we’re in the midst of a busy project, my house looks like it should be featured on one of those Dateline specials about pathological hoarding, and I suppose I should be happy it’s Friday but all I can think is we have the whole weekend to go still and I am le tired.

So! I’m holding out major hope this weather forecast isn’t bullshit, because RAIN TAPERING OFF sounds pretty damn good to me, in every sense of the word.

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Comments

45 Responses to “Hokay”

  1. Pete on April 17th, 2009 1:16 pm

    My life seems so much better now. Thanks

  2. Eric's Mommy on April 17th, 2009 1:18 pm

    Poor babies….all of you!
    Hope you guys get better soon. I feel really bad for YOU Linda having to deal with a Man Cold.

  3. Liz on April 17th, 2009 1:19 pm

    Hey! I think I recognize that fish tank! Do you go to my doctor?

  4. Kathryn on April 17th, 2009 1:19 pm

    Wait just a second here–are we married to the same man??? Actually, that couldn’t be true–my husband would never be too sick to offer to take my temperature, or to accompany the offer with a vigorous humping from behind. You know. Just in case I didn’t get it.

  5. Kathryn on April 17th, 2009 1:20 pm

    Oh, and also, my husband offers to give me some of his “special ointment” whenever I have a sore throat (or hell, a hangnail).

  6. Katie on April 17th, 2009 1:22 pm

    My husband doesn’t wallow in sickness, just heads to work to infect the masses…what a nice guy huh! And my boys are like their dad, just keep truckin’ even when they are running a 102 fever! Only time I’ve seen either of them sluggish from sickness is when my 2 year old was pushing a 104 fever and double ear infection. Fun times there!

    Hope your house is healthy by the weekend and can enjoy the sunny PNW weather!

  7. Penne on April 17th, 2009 1:23 pm

    I kinda wanted another baby, but after you reminded me how they tend to puke in cars and get sick and have to have that pink shit for nigh on two weeks, I totally am going to get a puppy. Thanks for saving me the college tuition.

  8. Maria on April 17th, 2009 1:34 pm

    Wow, that’s a rough week. I sure hope your weekend is better. The pink stuff…around my parts we call it “liquid gold”.

  9. Joanne on April 17th, 2009 1:36 pm

    I think you can try that antibiotic in a sippy cup with some water/milk and see if that works better. My son just had his first ear infection in January and he used to LOVE taking Tylenol in the shooter thing but he developed an insane fear of it RIGHT before he got sick, the sippy cup was the only way we could get anything into him.

  10. Hawkeyegirl on April 17th, 2009 1:43 pm

    I totally have that same quilt Riley is using! Got it on clearence at Target… wow what a lame comment…this is why I should stick to lurking.

    Hope your weekend is restful!

  11. Cara on April 17th, 2009 2:07 pm

    My two year old had a double ear infection back in January and decided that she would no longer tolerate the pink stuff from a syringe (even though she had taken it every single goddamned day of her life from 6 months to 18 months old for a urinary tract issue). So we tricked her. I got out a shot glass with dolphins or some shit on it that she would like, put the pink stuff in it and topped it off with juice. Then I let her drink it out of a straw (while I held it, of course). She thought that was the bee’s knees.

  12. Jennifer on April 17th, 2009 2:16 pm

    Dang do we go to the same doctor or do all doctor’s office fish tanks just look the same? Is there like some requirement out there that medical facilities must have fish tanks?

  13. Danell on April 17th, 2009 2:18 pm

    Yeah, after a trip to the ped’s office today with a four week old infant and a three and a half year old, I can’t for the LIFE of me figure out what kind of a dipshit I was to be stressed out about taking a single infant in. Why is that? WHAT WAS STRESSFUL ABOUT IT? I DON’T FRIGGIN REMEMBER!

  14. Catherine on April 17th, 2009 2:20 pm

    gah, crapiness all around. In an effort to make you feel better by telling you it could be worse consider that it is snowing in Colorado. Yes, in the entire state. Also, you could have the 5 day antibiotics, but it causes ass explosions. Even in the potty trained crowd.

    I like the idea of putting the pink stuff in a shot glass. Maybe it’ll keep him away from the tequila when he’s older because he’ll still associate the glass with the meds.

  15. Sunny on April 17th, 2009 2:37 pm

    Good lord. Do you think you should just burn the house down to rid the camp of the plague or what?

    Hope everyone feels better damn fast. I hear ya on the man cold and the MIL. When my husband, aka “her little boy” has a cold, you’d think we should close schools, lower the flag and fly in medical personnel from around the country to stand by. She once asked me if I was going to stay home from work to be with him. He’s 50 f*cking years old!! It was a head cold! To make it worse, she’s a retired nurse so she’s MORE than happy to help diagnose and recommend treatment. Thankfully, she’s five hours away or she’d be holding his hand and shouting commands.

  16. iidly on April 17th, 2009 2:42 pm

    I am not laughing at you Linda, but I am laughing — hahahahahahahha

  17. Scott on April 17th, 2009 2:46 pm

    > I suppose I should be happy it’s Friday but all I can think is we have the whole weekend to go still and I am le tired.

    Sing it, sister. That’s a big change I went through when I became a parent: now I rest up during the week to survive the weekend. TGIM.

  18. Renee on April 17th, 2009 2:57 pm

    well, have a nap. THEN FIRE THE MISSILES!!!!!1!!

  19. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com on April 17th, 2009 3:43 pm

    They’re still pretty adorable for not feeling well. I hope everyone is on the mend soon!

  20. Parkingathome on April 17th, 2009 3:54 pm

    Oh man I LOVED that amoxicillin when I was a kid, as did my husband. We currently have to give it to one of our cats though, and she does not enjoy it for some reason….probably because it’s “yummy candy” flavor, and not “beef”

    Makes me want to have strep again just to taste the yummy pink yumminess.

  21. Jenny on April 17th, 2009 5:09 pm

    That is le suck.

  22. Cheri on April 17th, 2009 5:18 pm

    Here is what your pediatrician is not telling you. You can get a shot for your kids instead of the week of pink stuff they won’t take. ONE SHOT. Done. And yes I was one of those evil moms that did that because I got tired of cleaning thrown up pink stuff out of my carpet, and blankets and my hair…

  23. Melissa D. on April 17th, 2009 5:21 pm

    Oh man, not good. I’ll never forget my mother-in-law pulling the same crap when my husband wasn’t feeling well at her house one day. I needed help and asked him for something and she came over to me and said, Listen, he is not feeling well right now. Please. I had pneumonia and no one wanted to listen to hear it from me. He’s no different. Hope your weekend is better than the last 10 days.

  24. danielle on April 17th, 2009 6:00 pm

    I don’t want to get started on how my husband gets 24 child-free hours in bed when he’s sick and I when I’m sick I get 24 hours of non-stop kid-a-thon with a heaping dose of sickness on top.

    At least the rain is tapering off so you have that going for you.

  25. blooot on April 17th, 2009 6:02 pm

    I know this sounds awful, but…
    If you need a kid to swallow meds and not puke, then hold his nose as you squirt. It causes an involuntary swallow reflex.

    We had to do this with my son once when he was 9 months and had hand, foot, and mouth, and refused to swallow. It’s not at all fun, but it works like a charm.

  26. bejewell on April 17th, 2009 8:06 pm

    The “special ointment” comment made me snort. My husband likes to offer me a little “petercillin.” In the 15+ years he’s been offering, I’ve never once taken him up on it. You’d think they’d learn some new schtick or something.

  27. bejewell on April 17th, 2009 8:07 pm

    (Actually, if he offered me some “schtick” I might take it.)

  28. nonsoccermom on April 17th, 2009 8:29 pm

    SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Hope everyone is feeling better soon!!

  29. SW on April 17th, 2009 9:04 pm

    A “protein shake through a meat straw” seems to be the most frequent aid offered up for what ever ails me. Thanks honey, that’s EXACTLY what I’m up for when I’m hacking up a lung!

    My mil is not what you’d call…. Maternal. She raised ‘em up to the ripe old age of 5, and then turned ‘em loose. So imagine my joy when my hubby got Rotavirus LAST of the 3 of us, and she swooped in like Mother Fracking Theresa to fawn over her “baby”. Really? Your grandson pukes out twice his body weight per spew for 4 days, then I get hit with it and still have to parent the kid between rounds of running to the bathroom, and you can’t even call to check in? Then her “baby”, whom she barely looked at since he was 5, gets sick and I can’t get rid of her?! REALLY? GAAAAAH!!!! That’s right up there with her taking credit for him turning out to be the wonderful person he is today. She wanted nothing to do with him during the years it mattered most. She can only take credit for having dropped him off at his friends’ houses who DID help form him into the great guy he is now.
    *taking a break to wipe the froth from the corners of my mouth*
    so, *cough*….. Where were we? Oh yes! I hope your weekend is much better than your last 10 days! The weather is supposed to be lovely!

  30. Hulda on April 18th, 2009 7:25 am
  31. H on April 18th, 2009 7:50 am

    I hope your weekend is better.

    I love your blog and your commenters.

  32. Kate on April 18th, 2009 8:34 am

    I’m with H up above me – I always click through to read the comments because frankly Linda, you do have some of the best commenters. LOL

    Hope the sun this weekend helps cure everyone. Throw a blanket (on a tarp) out in the yard and have everyone nap in the sunshine. Including YOU. :)

  33. Belle on April 18th, 2009 9:08 am

    That picture of Riley is fabulous.

    I never actually minded when my kids were sick because they were lovey-dovey and allowed us to actually give hugs and kisses. I miss that. Plus, they weren’t barfers and I expect that made it easier to get through.

    Hope everyone is on the mend very soon!

  34. mytopography on April 18th, 2009 9:52 am

    We’ve had the forever sick too. It sucks. Cannot imagine trying to do medication with a puker… hard enough when they just run away and hide because they don’t want to swallow it!

  35. The New Girl on April 18th, 2009 10:16 am

    My pediatrician’s door LOCKS and you have to push the little buzzer thing to get out. The little buzzer that is about 4 ft. off the ground. Sweet lord that is a BEAUTIFUL thing.

  36. Anne on April 18th, 2009 8:45 pm

    Wait, is that your THERMOSTAT? With the weather forecast? And here I thought I was fancy with my touch screen version. Damn you, Jones! I’ll never keep up with you!

  37. kim on April 18th, 2009 10:00 pm

    My oldest had to take amoxicillin twice a day for about a year when she was a baby (some kind of preventive med to avoid UTI), it never got easier (which is odd b/c I kind of like the way it tastes). I’m thinking it can also cause the runs (is that the one?) which is double the fun when your kid is already sick. I have no suggestions for getting it down – only that I’ve been there…except for the sick husband part. I’d love to hear how you REALLY felt about your Easter trip. ;)

  38. Jillian on April 19th, 2009 11:05 pm

    I actually still gag when I hear the words “Pink stuff.” I took that so much as a child I believe I became immune to it.

    I don’t care what they say. It DOES NOT TASTE LIKE BUBBLE GUM. :)

  39. victoria on April 20th, 2009 2:28 pm

    That fishtank looks just like the one at Swedish Physicians in West Seattle. Is that where you go? I love Dr. Guerra, he’s the best.

  40. vicky on April 24th, 2009 6:44 am

    How did I not know you existed? I am loving your blog. Can’t wait to meet you at the Hershey thing this weekend.

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