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May
21
Say, can anyone tell me what to do about this? I think he’s broken. And if he’s not, I’ll tell you what IS going to break pretty soon: MY WILL TO LIVE.
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82 Responses to “Another charming new trait”
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Okay, you know I love your kids, but DUDE. That would make me INSANE.
Do you think maybe he’s singing?
my kid does this all the fucking time.
its so annoying. we call it her “thinking song”. it started when she is thinking about something and has now graduated to whenever she feels like it.
we just have to tell her to “cut it out” and she sometimes stops.
eh. kids. just as equally hard as they are awesome.
good luck.
love annie
I think he needs some oil? Or WD-40?
I love at the end, just the one word, Right.
Maybe he’s trying to tell you that he really needs a three wolf moon shirt: http://tinyurl.com/c7qhop
My kid is 2 and a bit. He says “Huh?”, over and over and over when you tell him something. Drives. Me. Insane. Also, he totally does not get sarcasm. Thank god.
Wow. OK, I get why you’re cranky, but WTF is his problem? :-)
My baby is 8.5 months old and she’s doing something similar…and you’re telling me it’s going to last into toddler-hood?!?! Hers is more like a dog whining though, which makes it even more fun with two dogs in the house and mommy running around going “who is whining now?!”
It’s a good thing my mom makes wine or I’d be broke by now…
He’s seriously cute though.
Maybe he’s opposed to guns? Haha, I loved how he stopped only to get up and come thwack you with his toy. Too funny.
And all of the parents in the house do this:
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
…
BAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Because we’ve all been there. He’s just being verbal. We tried telling ours to be quiet. It works. For 3 seconds. I would invest in ear plugs.
My 13mo boy does this too. I’m told by a self professed child expert that it’s engaging certain areas in his brain that help him relax…because, you know, a toddler’s day is just so stressful.
I loved your little “right…” at the end. What else can you say? At least he’s cute?
Seriously, just a phase. An annoying phase, to be sure, but it does end. You know, until the next annoying phase. :) I know, really helpful, right?
He’s lamenting the fact that his gun is FAKE and does not shoot lasers like REAL guns should!!
And after eleventy-million hours of you not GETTING IT, he decided to try a different tack and whack you with said FAKE gun to drive his point home.
DUH!!
I recommend running away from home! For you, I mean. Run away to a spa and come back with ear plugs! YIKES!
He’s totally making laser gun noises. ;)
Ok seriously? I’ll totally trade you. My 11-month-old is shrieking. Like, sudden ear-piercing, for no reason, Nazgul banshee SHRIEKING, occasionally offset by just plain yelling. I can’t make him stop. My blood pressure is through the roof and my ears are ringing. I can’t even think.
My 15-month-old does this. All. Day. Long. I’m really hoping that language explosion happens soon. Now, preferably. She also shrieks like a banshee. It literally makes me ears ring.
She also walks backwards when she’s angry. I think that’s weird, too.
Toddlers are such strange little creatures.
I’m so sorry. I suggest ear plugs because there is nothing that can be done to stop it. Toddlers, they are unreasonable creatures. In fact your attempts to stop it will only make them desire to do it more. If it’s any consolation, he’s really cute.
My kid does what my husband refers to as “devil speak.” Incessant tongue flicking and chanting…mlah-mlah-mlah-mlah-ble-ble-ble…..At least the creaking isn’t (as) spooky.
I totally just made my baby sound like Satan. He’s very sweet, mostly. I promise.
Remminds me of Billy Crystal watching TV in the movie When Harry Met Sally. As for advice, I’ve got nothin’ for ya.
During this phase I just turned the music up and taught them how to dance around to the White Stripes. I agree with your quote in this clip- dude, seriously.
OH so sorry…..I think “right” just about sums it up.
My HUSBAND does this! When he’s overtired or falling asleep. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it and yes, our son inherited it.
It makes me want to stab myself in the ear-holes with ice picks.
I have my little man in his crib right now going down for a nap so I put on my headphones to watch the video. When I finished, took my headphones off and heard that same noise in my own house. You are not alone, girl. You love them but man, it can drive you crazy.
I’m with Amy up there on the SHRIEKING. My daughter is almost 10 months and shrieks her bloody freakin’ head off all day long. It was cute at first, because look she’s making a new sound! Now, not so much.
“Right.” So perfect.
OMG HE’S HAUNTED!
Dang it, this one’s so easy.
It’s a deep rooting psycho-social adjustment issue when boy meets girl. The last time I went through that I was a single man, I’m thinking 43 or something and laid around the house groaning like that for days because the girl I loved, or thought I loved, wouldn’t talk to me.
Don’t worry, he’ll get another girl.
Nailed it!
Linda,
I feel your pain. My child does not creak or moan; he MEOWS. For hours. He thinks its hysterical and it makes me want to take him to an animal shelter in hopes that some blind cat-loving person will adopt him and appreciate all his meowing.
Hang in there.
Wow. Yeah, that’s. . .special.
I have no idea. Teething? That’s my go-to for horrible baby syndrome.
If he was playing with a car, I would say he’s making NASCAR noises — car racing around the track sort of thing. Not that identifying his intentions would make the sound any less irritating. Ah, kids… can’t wait to have them. I’ll make sure not to play this for my husband or he’ll start crumbling up birth control pills into my morning coffee.
Turn up the music — my favourite suggestion. My kids are older, but I still turn up the music when they’re bickering in another room (or playing they’re recorders). I REALLY love it when they’re play fighting – because all the real fighting doesn’t drive me crazy enough.
YES! The Three Wolf Moon Shirt!!! I saw that yesterday and almost DIED!
My daughter would hum like that if she was tired… and still does. And so does the boy, now that I think about it…. Put him to bed!
Oh my. I have no advice other than he’ll outgrow it. My son growled from the time he was a baby. He eventually did outgrow it.
Think of the positive. At least you’ll always know where he is in the house. Follow the creaking!
God made them cute so we will not kill them. Thats all I’ve got.
How can you stay upset when they have such cute cheeks. On another note … AWESOME CHAIR!
Gas??
My daughter’s been doing that since she was 6 months old. I call it the boring whine of death. She’s now 14 months old and it’s louder, more annoying, and not showing signs of stopping.
Good luck. I can’t believe that none of those books out there ever spoke about all the shitty things that come with parenting. It’s all roses up your ass when you’re pregnant. Everyone saying that having kids is like planting a garden, or some shit like that.
But it’s not. It’s tough and hard and taxing, and if I didn’t love that little brat so damn much, I would have blown this taco stand a long time ago.
Thank the fuck it’s Friday.
Sounds like a frustration noise to me…….the really “joyous” part? Neither you nor HE knows what he’s frustrated about!
Yeah, that…might get old fast.
I think I would’ve turned that gun on myself. A figurative death if not a literal one. ;)
I love how he whacks you with the gun. “Put down the video camera and enhhhhhhhhh with me, Mom!” :)
Maybe consult your Zombie Survival Guide on how to deal with baby brain-eaters? He’s young; perhaps he can be trained NOT to want brains.
(I am also relieved to see that someone else refers to their son as Dude. Do you ever count how many times a day you say “Dude. Seriously.”? I don’t suggest it.)
Bumbling: dude, you made me laugh so hard the dogs came running to see if I was okay. I lol’d! I really did. Ribs hurt, and can’t breathe.
And was just talking to my daughter who’s not quite two year old was putting her fingers in her ears and screaming as loud as she can while the 5 year old laughs her ass off. Which encourages her to do it more, and yada yada yada. And we are going to the mall later. Hope she forgets by then.
oh my fucking god, we are living parallel lives. I sat on the floor of the gym this morning and cried (OK, I wanted to – but I blamed the choking up on allergies)because the guy in the daycare told me that if Q didn’t stop crying, they’d come get me out of the pool. And I was all, “NO!” because he’s not really crying, he’s doing THIS .
Ah! My niece did that – I watched her at the time. It drove me nuts! I don’t remember when she stopped… I do know she’ll be 13 this year and doesn’t do it anymore. ;-) Seriously though, this video just gave me enough of a flashback that I am compelled to make my first comment.
I love the “right” at the end, so perfectly conveys your resignation and frustration.
Does he do this no matter what you all are doing? or is it more of a bored on a rainy afternoon noise? I don’t have any similar stories to tell, thanks be to God for that, I think I would lose my mind.
I love your blog, it’s a preview into the hell I’ll be living in a few months. It almost helps prepare me for what’s to come. Almost
My little girl (2.5 yo) does this thing where she meows like a cat when she’s whiny. Have no clue where it came from. So instead of bitching, she meows.
Cute at first, but for the love of Jesus, when will it end?
Does he want something to happen with that gun that’s not happening?
my kid brings me one specific toy all the time that apparently does something magical that I don’t know about, because when I can’t make it happen he freaks.
other than that, with us that whining seems to precede illness or a tooth.
My 18 month old makes that sound all the time and it makes me want to tear my ears off the side of my head. But that would just be a mess and I’d have to be the one to clean it up, so it doesn’t really seem worth it. So I shove a sippy cup in his mouth and turn on the TV. Tah dah!!
You have no idea how hard I laughed at this.
BOTH of mine do this. BOTH. My recommendation? Remember those cry it out earplugs you had?
Nuff said.
My daughter did that, but usually when she was poopin’. ;o) But that video is classic. Cracked me up.
You need to change his batteries – STAT!
He sounds just like all of our battery operated toys right before they completely die. Too funny (to watch), not so funny for you. Good luck with that ;)!
I agree about the battery change! Also, Coffee Table of Death!!!
He humming……….but he is tone deaf.
He sounds kind of like a tiny little zombie.
I was going to say that the noises my child makes are INFINITELY more irritating and skin-crawling, but that’s probably because I only had to listen to Dylan for 38 seconds.
I’m not a mom so you know these two cents don’t amount to much. However I at least remember that I used to do this. For me it wasn’t frustration or satan or anything. I was just playing with my voice and kinda enjoying the rumbly sensation of it in my head. Maybe you can get him to make it more of a sing of you do it with him and then start changing tones and stuff – egging him on to do the same and then finally get past it by turning it into kindof legitimate language-like intonation? It sounds to me like he’s just doing a little voice-training.
Toddler-style. The babbler’s babble.
Dude’s learning to use his voice. I reckon he’s found a sound HE thinks he’s good at, so is making it. Because he’s so good at it. Yeah.
I’ve a got a boy three weeks older than Dylan and he is creaky too. Other annoying quirk that makes me want to stab myself? He points at “something” and says “Eh.” I hand it to him. He looks at it, drops it, and points again and says “Eh.” This happens anywhere between 3-10 times, depending on my patience level. Each time the “Eh” gets more demanding and frustrated, and by the last time, the “eh” can be translated to mean…”Look bitch, I am pointing right at it. How stupid are you, woman. Give it me now!”
I never get it right, and when I give up, he throws himself on the floor. It’s annoying. Toddlers are hard.
OMG, he could TOTALLY do Foley sound effects, if Foley is those guys who do sound effects and not just the guys who do catheters.
Also, my firstborn at that age used to make that basic sound, but with the word “mama.”
Him: Maaaaamaaaaaaaa. Maaaaaamaaaaaaaa. Maaaaaamaaaaa. Maaaamaaaaa. Maaaaaaamaaaaa. Maaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaa. Maaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaa.
Me: *somehow deciding another baby was a good idea*
Hm. I think my son makes a similar noise when he’s just generally not happy about something – tired and hungry top that list. When he’s sick though? Every exhale is an opportunity to let us know that he’s suffering. He’s lucky that that is when we’re at our most patient.
Two of my three children made that sound. Each time the doctor told me making that sound calms the baby for some reason.
Wow, I had no idea that just about everyone’s kid does this, apparently. My daughter never did, so when my son started it up I thought he seriously had, like, hit some sort of weird repeat glitch in his brain. He’s actually beginning to grow out of it (KNOCK ON EVERY PIECE OF GENUINE WOOD IN THE HOUSE) but the random, ear piercing screams are still a main part of his repetoire.
Our doc calls it “low-grade whining”. I believe that’s code for “genetically encoded defect designed to weed out the impatient among us”. Darwinism at it’s finest?
When mine does that it’s his pre-puke alert function kicking in (which, coincidentally, started up this morning). So, uh, if it’s any consolation, at least Dylan isn’t accompanying the endless creaking with endless vomit! Yay!
Looks like he’s frustrated he can’t get the right grasp on the gun.
Yeah, I’ve got a two year old who’s generally been acting pissy like that for a couple of days. We think maybe teething. Dylan’s what, 15, 16 months old? Prime time for cutting canines, which are supposedly the very worst teeth at all to cut in terms of misery. Dispatch motrin at once, woman, or all hope is lost! Repeat at first sign of whining.
frustrated? singing? teething? Who know’s– no wonder you’re goings nuts. “right” sums it all up.
What if you fed your kid a red bull? I mean he can’t possibly get any MORE annoying than the ehhh ehhh thing, so just let him burn himself out with wild abandon for about one hour, then you get two hours of crashing and sleep. OR, you could get one of those kid leashes and just tie him up in the back yard when he’s driving you crazy. It’s springtime, he’ll be alright. You can put Dog out there to keep him company.
i don’t remember my kid making that noise, but i could just be blocking it out of my memory. it really does sound like a bordom, low-grade-whine. actually, i’m pretty sure there are days where *I* make that noise. i like Josh’s answer best. tie him out in the backyard with dog. do they make hamster balls in toddler size??
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I would thump my son if he whacked me with a toy; same with the noise. I know, child abuse, but if I didn’t put my foot down on bad behavior at that age, what hope would there be later? he’s not in pain, he’s not trying to communicate, he’s just being a turd. and obviously it’s past the point of ‘cute’.
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My husband always tells me that the kids (3 & 1) don’t understand “Dude…seriously”. I almost fell off my chair when I heard you say that!
My three-year-old son was standing next to me while I was watching this and as soon as the video ended he said, “Dude…seriously.”
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Somedays, I feel like going through life making whiney noises all day too.
EHHHHHHEHHHHHHEHHHHH I don’t wanna be at work EHHHHHEHHHHEHHHHEHHHEHHHEHH
My 16 month old came running over to see what I was watching, so apparently it spoke to him. He does the same thing. Dude. Seriously.