We are taking Dylan to daycare on Friday as a trial run for Monday when I return to work and part-way through this afternoon I realized that since tomorrow and Thursday are non-daycare days for Riley today was my last day of being home alone with the baby.

The last three months have been . . . well, what can I say that I haven’t said a thousand times already? They have been wonderful, amazing, joyous. They have sucked big fat hairy balls.

I look back on those early weeks after Dylan was born and I can barely remember how difficult they were, the hardest days have already receded; a bad dream blurred upon awakening. The screaming puking newborn has morphed into a buttery pudge of coos and smiles, and I thank the great baby gods for that.

At three months old our boy is watching us constantly, ready to break into a giant drooly grin whenever our eyes meet his. He blathers away in his weird vowelly language and pistons his feet up and down happily, blasting out gunshot farts and blowing spit bubbles. His thighs look like something Pillsbury would sell in the refrigerated section of a grocery store, his hair is fuzzy and whisper-soft.

I tell him he is the silliest baby I’ve ever heard of. “You,” I say, as he flaps his arms and jogs in place, his mouth open wide. “You are ridiculous.” Aaaaaooooooww, he says, beaming and flashing me his cheek dimple. He is a flirt, a goofy good-humored guy with tenderly sweeping maybe-it’s-Maybelline eyelashes.

I love him so damn much. I used to worry: could I possibly love a second child as much as my first? And it’s true, what they all say: yes, yes, yes, yes you can. You expand. There are no limits.

d_baby408.jpg

d2_baby408.jpg

We’re on to new schedules, now, new routines and busier days. I’m ready for it, and at the same time I wish I could hit pause and stay here just a little longer.

d3_baby408.jpg

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amykatrina
14 years ago

Oh my, he is breathtakingly gorgeous. And so is your tribute to your day.

Ashley
14 years ago

This post made me so happy and so sad at the same time. Happy because, duh, it’s all so amazing. Sad because the time, it just doesn’t stop at all. He is absolutely full of life, what an amazing smile.

clarabella
14 years ago

I am celebrating my only son’s first birthday this weekend, and I am so with you on the pause button. I remember when he was a little older than Dylan is now, and all I could think was (sigh) “he’ll never be that tiny baby again.” And now, oh now, he doesn’t want to be held and snuggled very often; he throws himself around the house with abandon and glee; and he’s more his own little person every frakking minute. And I love and savor every minute!
It’s funny to me that I always thought I only wanted one baby, one child, one love of my life, and now I think wouldn’t it be nice to give Liam a little brother or sister (but worry at the same time that it’s a yearning for baby-time gone by. Oops.)
Anyway, sorry for the novel comment but this post really spoke to me tonight. And that Dylan, whew, he is a beautiful, beautiful boy. (BTW, do you think his eyes are gonna stay blue, or have they not “changed” yet? Just wondering because it seems to me you and JB have dark eyes.) Those blue eyes sure are mesmerizing. Good luck going back to work. I can’t believe it’s been three months since *we* were anxiously awaiting your iphone posts from labor and delivery!

banana
14 years ago

Your boy is beautiful. And I can’t get over how much he looks like JB!

Lisa
14 years ago

LOVE that first picture with his little curled up toes. What a cutie.

Naomi in Oz
Naomi in Oz
14 years ago

Smiles!! Now this one’s going to be a heartbreaker…
Have a nice last day home alone.

Jo
Jo
14 years ago

Those eyelashes! He’s just such a cutie :) Beautifully written, as always.

Lesley
Lesley
14 years ago

Dylan is Goddamn Gorgeous. He could also be a table lamp, there is so much light emanating from his cheery self. Give him a big smoochy smooch from me.

Rebecca
14 years ago

He is so gorgeous! I know this return to work is bitter-sweet yet necessary for you.

Here’s a prayer for you: “May the trolls at Parentdish suck hairy donkey balls.”

Fantastic writing as usual!

Anya  Paull
14 years ago

Not in the past 11.75 months have I been able to capture such a gorgeous clear smile on my kiddo as you have in that last picture of Dylan, you are fast like cheetah, camera mom. Thank you for ending my day on a beautiful note.

Annagrace
14 years ago

He is AMAZING. Those eyes…can’t even handle it. Glad you’re feeling good about next week–I’m sure it will have its own ups and downs but you’re going to do great.

anna
anna
14 years ago

Totally huge lump in throat from that lil’ tear-jerker of an entry…..

Rachel
14 years ago

That last picture melts my heart.

All Adither
14 years ago

He’s a roly-poly cutie pie.

Emblita
14 years ago

I feel so sad that you have to leave for work already… its going to be heartbreaking to leave him at daycare isn’t it?
I stayed home for well over 9 months before going to work part time. And I have to say I loved this age. They are so wonderful and bubbly. Sigh, I think I’m going to have to start making more babies soon.
Good luck with starting work again!

beach
beach
14 years ago

wow….he is truly a GORGEOUS baby!!!
model material….enjoy

Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

That brought tears to my eyes. I miss those days so much.

Denise
Denise
14 years ago

Dylan looks so much like Riley in that first picture! He’s adorable. :)

Jeanette
14 years ago

What a sweetheart!

willikat
14 years ago

ohhhh he is darling. the second photo melted my heart.

Sarah
Sarah
14 years ago

I second Anna. Beautiful post.

Emily
14 years ago

Those eyes! Those eyes are amazing!!! What a beautiful child. And what a beautiful tribute.

Niki P.
Niki P.
14 years ago

I love that you can see your reflection in his eyes in the middle picture.
My boys are almost 13 and almost 11 and I still wish I could hit pause. Savor the moments, they go too damn fast.

Jean
Jean
14 years ago

HA. I think he looks like YOU.

Melissa
Melissa
14 years ago

Show stopping pics!! Great post.

Chris
14 years ago

he’s beautiful and this made me tear up. my boy is 9 and I still wish I had a pause button.

Ginitag44
14 years ago

Oh my, he is so very adorable. I love that I can see your reflection in his eyes in the second shot. Beautiful.

Lisa
14 years ago

Your writing, as usual, sums up a mother’s torn emotions as we make these life decisions that not only alter daily schedules but also the way that we spend our remaining free time with our children. Beautiful!

(And beautiful pictures too!) Good luck as you prepare for your return to work!

Allison
Allison
14 years ago

I fell in love all over again at 3 months. Its the time that everything changes.

beth
beth
14 years ago

Your past two entries have both broken my heart. My little girl is just a few weeks behind Dylan, and your thoughts mirror mine so exactly that I find myself staring at the screen openmouthed, wondering how you caught the words that fell from my mind.

Here’s to wishing time would stop, and for the now-blurry newborn days.

Joy @ Big Time Fancy
14 years ago

I’m not a baby person. Or a small child person.

But this post kind of picked up any maternal instinct I have in me and shook it until it paid attention and now I kind of want some (babies and/or small children).

jonniker
14 years ago

GAH. That smile in the last photo BROKE ME. It’s too cute! TOO CUTE! GAAAAAH.

Jen
Jen
14 years ago

TEARS! Two days in a row! Damn you Linda!

Alyson
14 years ago

Beautiful!

Kristen
Kristen
14 years ago

That smile! Those eyes! Such an adorable baby.

andi
14 years ago

This was so sweet. It really is unfair that just as full-time life with these wee people has become bearable and dare I say at times, fun, that we have to go back to work. Like you, I know I’ll enjoy going back. But I also know I’ll miss my kids.

Danielle
14 years ago

He is adorable! I am so glad things are going good for you. Thank you for being so honest about life with 2 kids…..now I know exactly what I’m up against when I have my second one.

moo
moo
14 years ago

It cannot be three months already. It cannot. I refuse to believe it.

Swistle
14 years ago

I am sorry, but I am going to have to eat that baby. All up.

emily
emily
14 years ago

Oh, Linda, he is gorgeous! Thanks for the last two beautiful posts.

SJ
SJ
14 years ago

He’s beautiful! And so, so happy. Me on the other hand? Weepy.

What a beautifully written post.

biscuit
14 years ago

I think Riley looks just like you + Dylan looks just like JB. I wasn’t sure who Dylan resembled more until I saw these pictures.

He gets more handsome every day! I can’t wait to meet my future son-in-law. . . ha ha ha!

Here is a recent pic of your future daughter-in-law:

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j3/kellywmars/Maggie8-12weeks295.jpg

I. Heart. My. Speedlight!
I’m kicking my own ass for not buying it the same time as my camera! OMG it’s so wonderful! I have you to thank. :)

taryn
taryn
14 years ago

Thanks for that wonderful post – definitely a tear jerker. As a mom to a nearly 2 year old daughter, who is also 7 months pregnant (with another girl)- I have been dutifully reading your posts about having #2 and mentally preparing myself, though I know that’s really never possible. I love how raw and real you were about how hard those first weeks/month are and I love even more that you give me hope that I will get through it and have even more love for my two little ones.
Thanks a million times over!

Anais
Anais
14 years ago

That close up of Dylan’s gorgeous awe-struck face is just beautiful. I love your photography.

Leah
14 years ago

He’s magnificent. You’re all so lucky.

Amber
14 years ago

You really are a wonderful photographer – those pictures are FANTABULOUS!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood

Simply lovely.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

My sister once asked me how do I divide my love between two kids. I told her that my love wasn’t divided, it was multiplied.

kristylynne
kristylynne
14 years ago

Ah, he is beautiful. You are so lucky.

And yes, I often want to hit pause too. I have often thought how nice it could be if my son could stay just the age he is for about a year or so. They grow up too damn fast.

Sonia
14 years ago

These photos are just incredibly beautiful Linda, and as always your writing is too.