It was the same for me, Eric totally favored his Dad for awhile and I felt awful. Now it is the other way around though and Eric totally favors me.

I was wondering how things were going with that, but didn’t want to ask in case they were horrible and I didn’t want to make you cry!

Glad it’s better. Whew.

Awww, I knew this day would come, and I can only imagine how hard it was to wait for. Yay!

Yay! It really does make things easier, doesn’t it? And more pleasant.

And “haddock-like thrashing” – HAAAAAAA.

At 6 & 4, both boys still seem to do that if-moomy-says-no-i’ll-ask-daddy thing. With daddy currently driving cross country 5 days a week, it has now become an evil stare toward me with a pitiful, “I’m going to call daddy.” Of course, when they do he simply says listen to your mother. I’m not sure they will grow out of that phase. But glad the love is spread more evenly now for you. Parenting certainly is a roller coaster!

I am so, SO happy that things have turned around. I remember the way you used to write about Riley favoring JB and it broke my heart.

Its funny, with my daughter she always preferred me (much to my husband’s dismay) and now I have a son who totally prefers my husband…actually shrinking away if I try to take him out of Dad’s arms. It hurts me, and I suppose I’m feeling some of the pain my husband must have felt when my daughter did these things to him.

My daughter is three now and she uses her preferences to her advantage. If I am going to put her to bed, she wants her Daddy and vice versa…so its more even now….I can only hope Colin wants us equally in the future. Until then, I’ll remember your story! And try not to let it bother me so much!

I’m cringing at the thought of when Ezra starts showing preference for one over the other. I know it’ll feel like a slap in the face/kick in the balls.

Boys, when they get older, will start to prefer their father to their mother. Drives my wife nuts.

When I was about 5, I remember trying to get my dad to let me do something that mom had already vetoed. He looked me directly in the eye and asked if I had already asked mom – I told him the truth – and he said firmly, in terms that a 5-year-old could understand, that mom and dad will have the same answer, every time. And if I ever tried to get one of them to let me do something that had already received the negative, I was in t-r-o-u-b-l-e.
I never tried that again, even in my teens. I think it definitely helped that my parents were very much a team and his word was to be believed.

My kids want me when I am here. (Which is all the time since I am SAHM)

Whenever my husband is around, Mom cant do anything. They only want daddy. I guess its ok, b/c it gives me a break from carseat buckling, juice cup filling, and ass wiping.

But its a little disheartening when I say “Mommy can do that for you.” And they reply with “NO MOMMY, I AM TALKING TO DADDY.”

When my son (he is 4) asks me for something and I say NO. He answers with, “Well, Daddy already said, Yes.”
Super, he is already playing us.

I think things switch up again pretty good when they become teenagers. Here’s hoping for balance at your house and at mine for many years to come!

“Haddock-like thrashing”–hee! One of my three-year-olds currently prefers ME—and DRAMATICALLY—and it leaves me dazed. And, you know, CONFUSED. Because it has never happened.

That must feel lovely :).
And PS, “Baby Winehouse”? Fucking hilarious :)!!

Glad to hear Riley’s shifted but oh I hear you on the whining. *sigh* Parenting can feel thankless sometimes.

When Dylan’s older you’ll have the added delight of your kids fighting with each other over stupid shit. It’s even more fun when they’re old enough to call you at work to resolve a dispute. (Something we used to do to my mom, making her completely crazy.)

I know Pete says boys prefer their dads when they get older but I’ve seen my brother’s love for my mother and there’s nothing to rival that. On top of that, you’re one of the super active mums who can do anything daddy can do. You’re not like other mums who might choose to stay at home while the “boys” go for a hike. So even though there may be some shifting between you two at times I wouldn’t worry too much. Really pleased it all evened out right now though. Sounded really tough before.

I had to get divorced because every time my daughter would go to her dad because I was being a big ole meanie, he would use it as an opportunity to swoop in and be the hero, and reinforce that the two of them were a unified team and mommy was not part of it. Sounds like you and JB have it figured out!

My son is about a year younger than Riley…I think. He goes through the same bouts of liking one of us better. Recently, when I drop him off at Grandma’s during the week, he is very standoffish and yells “NO” when Grandma comes to give him a kiss, and he runs away from her. The minute I leave, he’s fine. He also does that when there are too many of us around (mom, dad, uncles, grandparents, etc) like he can’t share the love, so he’s “mean” to everyone. It’s funny sometimes!

Hi Linda – I’m a lurker for several years now. Thank you for keeping this blog, it has brought so many smiles and giggles! And – you have been tagged! :) Check out my blog for details (http://andeesigns.blogspot.com/)

“haddock-like thrashing” is a lovely turn of phrase.

I think these kinds of behaviors phase in and out over the years, and of course are really different for every kid. I was worried that the “but mommy doesn’t make me…” stuff would increase post-divorce, but it really hasn’t, thank goodness.

We didn’t deal with too much favoritism, re: mom vs. dad, but my daughter really loved her preschool teacher and would always threaten to “tell on us” for such things as making her take a nap, not letting her have candy, etc…
(Yes, and I was all “Sure, go ahead and tell Ms. Pam that I wouldn’t let you eat that Snickers bar!” but she still used it as a threat, all the time!)

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