I recently did some tongue-lolling, finger-counting math and realized that when Riley was about the same age Dylan is now—a little older, but not much—I was newly pregnant. I found this so hard to believe I actually had to go back to my own blog to check the dates because surely I was forgetting a year or two in there? I mean, there’s no way in hell I actually got pregnant on purpose when I was already spending my every waking hour chasing a squirrel-cheeked WMD around, right? But it’s true, I DID, and not only that, but it took me several months months to get knocked up, so the even crazier part is that we started gunning for WMD #2 when Riley was, like, barely walking.

I’m not sure why I can barely wrap my head around this concept. Maybe it’s that life with two kids is so much harder than one, or maybe it’s that I know we’re done now and the entire notion of pregnancy has moseyed back into the realm of Oh HELL No, but looking back on that choice from this perspective is like fondly recalling that one time I decided to climb Everest. Without oxygen. Naked.

Which is to say, I can’t believe my husband wasn’t kissing my ass every second of every day during that second pregnancy (theme: No One Gives a Shit About Your Myriad Physical Complaints This Time), because that was some hardcore shit right there. If I think raising a tiny demented toddler is brain-searingly difficult now, I’ve totally blocked out the experience of doing so while my body was also busy, you know, creating an entirely new human being. I never properly appreciated my ability to multi-task, nor did I take the time to congratulate myself for surviving what was surely a near-deadly combination of life’s blessings.

I’m sure there will come a point when I miss having little babies, and maybe even wistfully long for the riotous flatulence of pregnancy, but these days I am leaning closer towards the sweet nature of my boys growing up. I feel like I keep getting a glimpse of what’s to come, and there’s this whole amazing new landscape to be discovered. If it wasn’t exactly the easiest path to get here, I’m still so glad we took it. I’m sure it will always be hard, I’m sure there will be a thousand new challenges in our future. But for every moment thus far that’s shaken me to my core with happiness, I suspect the best times are still to come.

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samantha jo campen
12 years ago

Woah. That’s crazy. I can’t IMAGINE being pregnant now OMG STOP TALKING ABOUT IT STOP STOP STOP!

But you got some amazing little boys out of the deal so you’re right, it all worked out.

jessamyn
12 years ago

I suspect so, too.

Nolita Morgan
12 years ago

Sweetness!

Brigid
12 years ago

I just did very similar math and almost died laughing at the idea of being pregnant right now. Or ever again. And I liked being pregnant! But, um, no thanks. This baby maker thinks two is plenty.

Mama Ritchie
12 years ago

Being pregnant now with my second son while my first one is 4 and into asking questions like “How come this blanket is SOFT, Moooommmmy? How come?” (Obvious answer: “Because it IS, kid!”) I can only imagine in horror what it would be like to be going thru this pregnancy 2 years ago. I’m barely hanging on as it is. But just so you know, I don’t think I’ve told you this, when I found out I was having a boy I was disappointed a bit that it wasn’t a girl. And then I thought of your boys, and I haven’t felt disappointment since. The pic is adorable. I hope my boys love each other as much as yours do.

BellyGirl
12 years ago

Every time you talk about your kids on this blog, I feel like I’m getting a glimpse into my future 18 months from now….I’m 6 months preggo now with baby boy #2 on the way. I think you are underestimating how easy (easy? cough, cough) it is to only have one kid while pregnant. Two would be a whole different story.

megan
megan
12 years ago

That’s a sweet ass photograph.

Genie
12 years ago

I’m at 26 weeks in my first pregnancy and when I went through that first trimester of being UNCONSCIOUS for 16 hours a day I was sleeping so much I couldn’t imagine doing that with a small child.

Which is why I imagine our second child will be conceived and gestated once this first one is oh … 16 so he can just drive the second one around.

vague
12 years ago

That picture is just beyond cute.

kirsty
12 years ago

I couldn’t agree more… And yes, in my opinion, the best is yet to come! I was delighted to be pregnant (it was a long, hard, struggle to get there) but my body HATED it. So I never got further than 8 months. THANK GOD. I seriously don’t think I could have taken ONE DAY MORE for my elder daughter…
My two little girls are now aged 7 and a half and nearly 5 and a half. And these are wonderful ages, truly. I am SO not a baby person! I love having real conversations, with my girls, I love doing “girly” stuff together (painting our toe nails, trying on clothes…), I love being able to be spontaneous again (no need to worry about nap times or changes of clothes or “what will they eat?” or nappies (diapers to you guys) or what have you), I love the fact that they go to school and have friends and that we’re making friends at the school too. I love being part of the PTA; I love being able to go to see Ice Age 3 (even though my younger daughter was terrified of the dinosaurs)…
And I keep telling myself that it’s only going to get better. Or only till they hit 15, that is, when they’ll only want to wear black and will tell me they hate me.
Yes, they can still be difficult and brattish. Yes, they can still drive me batshit, and yes, we have some humdingers went it comes to arguments.
But I wouldn’t go back to their toddler years for anything in the world. And another baby is TOTALLY out of the question (though my husband would probably quite like another – but I’ve put the veto on that, plus I just turned 40… quite old enough as it is, thank you very much).
Enjoy your cute little boys as they are now, but don’t worry about the future: the cuteness lasts well past kindergarten and primary school ages are the best (so far!).

AndreAnna
12 years ago

I had my babies around the same age apart as yours. I got pregnant with my son when my daughter was 17 months.

On purpose.

At the time, it seemed like a splendid idea. Go back in time and ask the 9-month pregnant woman chasing a just-turned-two-year-old in JULY and she’d have asked you to kindly remove your arm and beat yourself with it.

Now, as he turns one and she is three, I keep seeing the awesomeness of this age difference and am so pleased we did it this way.

Also: My husband has an appointment with the urologist this month. :)

Shannon
12 years ago

My husband refused to call for his urologist appointment and I refused to call for him…somehow I’m expecting #3 despite being on bcp. 4, 2, and 21 weeks..OMG. People care even less the third time around even though the sciatic pain is a million times worse and I had morning sickness 24/7. Oh well.

Pete
Pete
12 years ago

Now that our kids are 11 and 14 the wife talks about ‘another’ (maybe a girl) and my only response is ‘With who?’

Pete
Pete
12 years ago

BTW, I waited about 16 milliseconds after our second child was born before I got tutored.(Far Side joke)

Alyson
12 years ago

Little boy heads!!! Round and smooth like melons! Cute!!!!!!

Claudia
12 years ago

You are right. They are. It does get better.

Kathy
12 years ago

That picture is the sweetest thing ever!

danielle
danielle
12 years ago

It’s amazing what one can do when required to do it! I am so impressed with people who decide to have their children any closer than 3 years apart. The only people I am more impressed with? Those who have 3+ kids who are all less than 4 years old. Those women are C R A Z Y ! !

Maria
12 years ago

My kids are right around the same age as yours. It’s SO hard and SO wonderful all at the same time. I know what you mean about maybe missing the baby years, but when I see my son and daughter play together, I can’t wait to watch their relationship develop. I love where we are right now and (despite the OH SO HARD parts) look forward to all that is to come.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
12 years ago

Reading this makes me feel better about how exhausted I feel now that my daughter is 2.5 and I’m pregnant again. Funny how reassuring it is to be told that other people find chasing around one kid while pregnant with another something of a challenge, too. I don’t even have a job I have to go to, so I can take a nap every day, and I still wonder at how on earth I can stay awake and get things done.

Crystal
12 years ago

That is a wonderful picture.

I missed being pregnant after my first. Was fine with the pregnancy of my second. Screamed “no more!” after the pregnancy of my third. Babies are cute, but I’ve had my fill.

Swistle
12 years ago

I realized a little while ago that when my twins were the age of my youngest, I ALREADY HAD ANOTHER NEWBORN. PLUS THE TODDLER TWINS. Eep. I can barely handle ONE of Henry.

Leah
12 years ago

“Near-deadly combination of life’s blessings.” I think that needs to be on a “congratulations” greeting card and available in Hallmark mall franchises across America.

Pocklock
12 years ago

I’m still trying to figure out when to go for The Second. The First is only 10 months right now and it took me quite a long time to get pregnant so I’m worried I could wind up with that issue again and perhaps get my second baby when this one is in high school, but THEN… what if it happens right away and I’m trying to chase a brand-new-to-toddlerhood baby around while cooking another?

It’s all rolling around in my head so thanks for shedding a little light. :-)

Jan
Jan
12 years ago

My daughter turned 3 and my son turned 1 in March and baby #3 will be here in October. When people hear this news, I don’t even get a ‘congratulations’, I just get ‘you’re crazy’.
Very sweet picture!

Half Assed Kitchen
12 years ago

Same. I have a six year old and a four year old with bdays one day apart. What the F*** was I thinking? Temporary insanity, I’m sure. Glad I did it, but Jesus.

Anna
12 years ago

I was one of the lucky ones – I truly enjoyed being pregnant and didn’t have to endure morning sickness or too much exhaustion. The boy is almost six months and we’ve started the #2 discussion. I’m pretty certain the next pregnancy will be the exact opposite of the first. That fear is making me contemplate sticking with one, but that picture of your two boys might be enough to sway me.

Lisa
Lisa
12 years ago

You might keep that lovely picture for the time your boys decide they can no longer stand the sight of each other!!! No really, enjoy each precious moment. You blink and suddenly you have teenagers! (Did I mention my third child (a girl after having two boys) was one of those 1% instead of 99% effective??? Just saying…)

Sundry
Sundry
12 years ago

Gosh, Lisa, I’m not sure what my favorite part of your comment is — the bit where my kids will eventually hate each other, the fact that I should better appreciate this stage, or the inevitable accidental pregnancy! ; )

Magnolia
12 years ago

I think it’s hormones. My baby is seven months now and I am looking at him going ‘awww..I could have one more of you’

My theory is our bodies are -DESPERATELY- throwing out hormones at this point because it realizes if we get past the point where they are clingy monkey weasels and slightly more self dependent we will laugh our asses off at starting all over again.

Angela
Angela
12 years ago

My son will be three in September, and that was the time line that I gave myself for thinking about a second. Things are just so easy now with one, but seeing pictures like that make me think that two won’t be so bad. I am so conflicted!

Di
Di
12 years ago

Well, I’ll let you know how it goes. C was just two in May and Little Brother will be making his debut in mid-September.

One thing for certain, I’m doing a lot more moving around this time than the last. All that toddler-wrangling is keeping my pregnancy weight gain in check, hoo boy!

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

Adorable picture! I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately…like I can’t believe I’m here and it’s awesome but wow how incredible it keeps getting. I also have two boys (4.5 and 7) Just last night at bedtime I went in to read to them. Ian (7) said, “mom, can you come back later. This is Nicky’s time. I’m reading to him and it’s our quiet time.” Yeah, jaw almost tripped me as I stumbled back out the door.

Amanda
12 years ago

Best. Photo. Ever.

willikat
12 years ago

Sometimes I wonder if I’m hitting a little baby fever stage. That photo of your boys brought instant tears to my eyes.

There were so many little gems in this post, especially the “squirrel-cheeked WMD.”

ang
ang
12 years ago

ditto. in fact when my monthly friend came a couple of weeks ago, i realized that the last friendly June visit was in 2004. but this time i’m avoiding the whole pregnancy thing by adopting the third. i feel like i have a reprieve.

Rachel
12 years ago

I thought I would never NOT be sad about not having little babies – I figured I’d be one of those moms who had a baby every couple of years until I couldn’t anymore. (Seriously.) Then when we stopped after my daughter was born for reasons that were pretty much beyond our control, I felt much less sad than I thought I would – and now my kids are 13 and 9 and you’re right, the best is definitely yet to come. I never thought I’d say this when they were babies — and I AM terribly nostalgic about their toddler and preschool years — but I’d never go back. They’re awesome human beings, our kids are, and the older they are the better we get to know them, and the more we can like and appreciate them on their own terms and as individuals, instead of it being a reflexive you’re-so-cute–and-so-mine-that-I-love-you-even-though-I-don’t-really-know-you kind of thing.

Wonderful photo, by the way. Love it.

Hillary
12 years ago

Yep, The Boy — our first — is just a little older than Dylan and I’m not quite four months along. I liked being pregnant the first time and am having another good pregnancy this time around, but lord no! it is not the same when you’re also chasing a toddler.

Cookie
12 years ago

OMG, that pictures is so cute! I’m with you there on the pregnancy thing. I look at Nick and he’s exhausting and not sleeping and teething, and I’m like how did I do this pregnant? The worst part is that I’m considering doing it again. It’s a tough call, becuase I’m so happy with my boys, but I’d still like another, maybe give them a sister.

Cookie
12 years ago

OMG, that picture is so cute! I’m with you there on the pregnancy thing. I look at Nick and he’s exhausting and not sleeping and teething, and I’m like how did I do this pregnant? The worst part is that I’m considering doing it again. It’s a tough call, becuase I’m so happy with my boys, but I’d still like another, maybe give them a sister.

Katy
Katy
12 years ago

That made my newly-pregnant-with-number-3 eyes fill with tears. Your boys are so cute and such handfulls. Now I have to go to sleep under my desk. Zzzzz.

claire
12 years ago

Gah, so cute.
Coming here always makes me re-think my firm, “No Kids For Me, Thanks” stance. Your boys are just so darn cute.

Jennifer
Jennifer
12 years ago

Long time reader, big time fan, de-lurking to say…

“riotous flatulence of pregnancy” has put things into perspective and hilariously cured me of my occasional nostaligic pangs of “couldn’t we have ONE more kid?”

thank you. and my husband thanks you.

Christina
12 years ago

Great post! we are definitely done and I enjoyed my pregnancies and babies but I have inclination to considering a third. The are two sets of hands and two babies – ENOUGH said! LOL! I do have to say that maybe because I thought it would be super hard but have two is much easier then I expected!? My kids are further apart then yours so maybe that is the difference. I am not sure. Anywho, love this post!

cagey
12 years ago

My littlest one is two years old today and yes, I have thought with shock that when her brother turned two, at that time she had already been here for nearly 4 months! It still floors me that I was physically capable of having two children 20 months apart. Wow. Just wow.

And I completely, wholeheartedly agree on your comments regarding 2nd pregnancies. They are 10x more difficult with a mere fraction of the sympathy that a 1st pregnancy garners.

pam
pam
12 years ago

and that’s why i’m glad i had all my kids at once. i cannot fathom being pregnant while having kids this age, must less younger ones!

i met a family the other day that had two daughters born 10 months apart. TEN MONTHS. just imagine. (and neither was adopted.) the mind boggles!

babelbabe
babelbabe
12 years ago

Not to scare you, but #4? TOTALLY accidental. So, you know, be careful. Because I hear you on everything you said. And the thought of being pregnant again makes me want to vomit (which, funnily enough? Pregnancy made me do, too.)

Kelli
Kelli
12 years ago

What a perfect photo.

Frema
12 years ago

My Kara is 18 months, and her brother was conceived before she turned six months. Nathan will be six months at the end of this month, so if we were to follow suit with a third and roughly keep the same age distance between #2 and #3, I’d have to get knocked up…oh, this week! I was so freaked about it last year, but now it seems so natural that my kids are so close in age. I think it will be super fun when they’re older.

That said, my husband is not boarding the #3 train, especially right now. He stays at home with them, and if I did end up pregnant, I think he’d cry harder than I would. For me, though, it’s at least still an option!

Must Be Motherhood
12 years ago

My theory was this: if I get to sleep through the night on a regular basis this kid will NEVER get a brother. So I too deliberately go knocked up when he was 18 months old. Now I feel like life with a 3 year old an a 10 month old is really hard, but I’m not in a looney bin…so…maybe I could do another?
It’s insane. I know.