We had kind of a hard weekend, thanks to Dylan being extra cranky as a result of this never-ending Viral Crud the boys just keep passing back and forth to each other over and over and over and at this point I have forgotten 1) what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep, and 2) what my children’s noses look like when there isn’t a torrent of slime erupting from both nostrils.

We also had houseguests, and it is one of my few personal blogging rules never to say anything about JB’s parents that I might someday regret but I cannot keep this to myself: at one point JB’s mom suggested with all seriousness that Dylan, who is not yet 2 years old, might benefit from counseling to deal with his anger issues.

I will refrain from making any further comment on that except to say: I think it was highly unfair to have been put in a position of defending the exact same behavior that was driving me out of my skull all weekend long. When your kid’s being an asshole, what you want is someone to say “God, 20-month-old children, especially when sick, are total assholes, aren’t they? Hang in there, this won’t last.” Not, you know, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED COUNSELING.

(Although I have to say I am entertained by the idea of toddler cognitive therapy. “Dylan, your mother refused to allow you to bang your plastic cow on the television screen. Can you tell me how that makes you feel? . . . I see. Can we re-conceptualize this anger trigger, perhaps by using relaxation imagery or engaging in some guided discovery —ah, I notice you’re expressing yourself by gnawing my sofa.”)

Anyway, we managed to have a decent Halloween night, at least for Riley. He was ridiculously excited about dressing up and knocking on doors, and he didn’t even mind when I pilfered all the good chocolate from his haul later that night.

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As usual, we had about four trick-or-treaters stop by our house, despite what I thought was a very welcoming pumpkin ensemble.

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Riley was a pirate, with a “Batman pirate cape”.

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Dylan was a dragon or Godzilla or a dinosaur or something, although you’ll have to accept this weeks-old photo as proof since he was too pink-nosed and unhappy on Saturday to be photographed.

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How was your Halloween? If you have kids, what did they dress as?

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wn
wn
12 years ago

heh….sounds only a smidge-better than our Halloween.

We spent the hours between 4:30-7:30
– cleaning puke
– trying to rinse off a HOWLING 20-month old in the bathtub
– snuggling on the couch while watching Shaun the Sheep

and a Happy Halloween to all!

Leah
12 years ago

The little one was Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo (among other things), and although most people thought he was a Lego man, it was totally worth it to have a random twelve people actually get it. (“Whip it!”) I was a rodeo clown and Simon was a smarmy guy (typecast!).

Shannon
12 years ago

Why do you always have to look so good, woman? ;-)

All two year olds are mini-tyrants/assholes….no therapy needed…they grow out of it.

P.S. Love the cannibal pumpkin. Such a cute idea.

samantha jo campen
12 years ago

I’m glad Riley was totally excited, and at least Dylan is still a bit young to feel bummed about being sick.

Theo was a train conductor and hot DAMN was he cute. He didn’t get why we’d stand at people’s doors and wait for them to answer, and he can’t say Trick Or Treat yet. But oh, once he figured out that every house we went to gave him candy from a bowl he was ALL OVER IT. As soon as they’d open the door he’d try and push his way in while saying “MORE? MORE? MORE?” ever hopeful.

And dude, my mom? Had 156 kids come to her house. I think they were shipped in or something because my GOD.

Alli
12 years ago

Fuller was Thor, in the costume made by his Father. Tebow was a puppy dog on Friday night and a Tiger on Saturday. It was a pretty good Halloween, if not a little chilly. Fuller woke up Sunday with his own slimy trail of snot and coughing like he needed to quit smoking. Fun!

Melissa
Melissa
12 years ago

Hang in there. Toddlers with colds can be total assholes, but I hear it gets better when you can send them to school. What adorable kids! My own parents and in-laws have forgotten what little jerks toddlers can be too. Once a month, I send them the baby center update as my own personal f-you, my baby is right on track.

Jill
Jill
12 years ago

Grace (17 months) was a University of Michigan cheerleader. The best costume we saw was a New York (we do not live in NY) hot dog vendor, complete with ridiculously life-like wooden hot dogs.

alomellin
alomellin
12 years ago

Our Halloween was great! Vincent was Mickey Mouse. He was so cute!! I would also like to say that I find the MIL’s comment very amusing. I wonder what she would say about my 20 month old who dropped everything he was doing yesterday to clinch his little fists and SCREAM for no apparent reason. Oh, rest assured, he was angry with me, I jut don’t know why. She might have suggested a straight jacket for him. I much prefer the “hang in there” “this too shall pass” approach.

Courtney
12 years ago

Moved into the new house this weekend. Nothing says “Scary!” like dropping $350 at Home Depot for kitchen cabinet knobs an dpulls, and bathroom towel bars and toilet paper holders.

We had about 10 trick-or-treaters, and I’m wishing I wasn’t so stingy with the candy- we have TON left over. THe best costume I saw was actually this little girl dressed as a peacock– with feathers! There was a photo in the newspaper: http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/articles/2009/10/31/news/000trickortreat.txt

Anne
Anne
12 years ago

I’m sorry D is being such an asshole! It won’t last, though it will return again and again – especially when he is a teenager. Wait, this comment was supposed to be comforting…?

beach
beach
12 years ago

My mil suggested when my youngest was almost 3 that he needed counseling for his behavior….which basically resembles Dylans to a t…….I don’t and didn’t have a blog, so I told dh he could basically tell his mother to suck it.(I’m nice like that…)Btw said 3 year old is now 17 and very well adjusted,honor student. well as well adjusted as a 17 year old male can be…. 20 month years old can be little assholes…..hang in there this won’t last…..

Nolita
12 years ago

My little girl was Cleopatra –http://www.flickr.com/photos/nolitamorgan/4053840455/in/set-72157622685601102/ Sorry to hear that Dylan was still sick (or sick again?). I remember when Emi was that age, she seemed to always have a snotty nose. I am so glad for her strengthened immune system and that they learn to blow their own noses…(hopefully not like I saw Brett Favre do it on the field last night…disgrosting)

Michelle
12 years ago

We were in San Francisco and so avoided having to deal with Trick-or Treaters at all. This is good as it means no leftover candy for me to cram into my face.

My boys were frogs. Well….one of them was. Dax dressed as a red-eyed tree frog and told everyone who looked at him that he was POISONOUS!!! and Devin shunned his little spotted frog costume.

Loved seeing everyone wandering around the city in costumes.

(For the record, almost 2-year-old boys CAN be complete balloon knots and, as we both know, it really will pass. Has not stopped me from cracking myself up with toddler therapy fantasies since I first read that MILism on Twitter.)

sharon
sharon
12 years ago

My boys were Batman and a Star Wars Clone Trooper. Gone are the days of the cute dinosaur and Tigger costumes. But they were still cute. Batman anyway.

Claire
12 years ago

My son was Robin – trying to go solo without Batman – but we didn’t trick or treat. Two is a tough age for that b/c he doesn’t really grasp the concept yet and really, no one needs all that candy.

Maria
12 years ago

I wouldn’t take the counseling suggestion to heart. I’ve had what I thought was behavioral trouble with my daughter, and I later found out, guess what…she’s a toddler. Some just do it to a higher degree than others.

My son was Elmo, my daughter was a Dalmatian, and I was Hermione…cloak, hat, wand, & scarf. I actually had a rather ego damaging experience. I’m thinking I look all young and cute, and then one of my neighbors saw me and said “Oh look, it’s Professor McGonagall!” I was so embarrassed, instead of correcting her; I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Renee
Renee
12 years ago

Our town has this downtown trick-or-treating thing where the store owners give out candy and there are rides and carnival food and what-not. Our son is only 6 months old but we dressed him up as an Ewok and used him to pilfer candy for ourselves. Heehee!!

OmegaMom
12 years ago

Ahem:

God, 20-month-old children, especially when sick, are total assholes, aren’t they? Hang in there, this won’t last.

Really. Truly. Then they turn into, say, 7-going-on-8 total assholes. Sometimes. ;-)

My dotter was a PINK! Rock Star. Very PINK!

JennB
JennB
12 years ago

My almost-5-year-old daughter was Dorothy (with the BEST glittery ruby slippers from Target EVER) and my son – 18 months – was the Cowardly Lion. At first I thought it would be a screamfest because he didn’t like his costume but he turned out to be fine with it. Trick-or-treating got rained out due to hurricane force winds in Vermont. Of course, once we stopped, so did the rain & winds… but we were drenched so we said forget it.

AndreAnna
12 years ago

Um, counseling, sure. Cute.

Maggie
Maggie
12 years ago

20 month old children are assholes, sometimes, (but they can also be damn cute, which I am convinced is a survival mechanism). Hang in there. Pre-teens can also be assholes and they are not so cute, so there’s that to look forward to :) I have girls, so probably a whole different ball game.

Speaking of, they were witches this year and we had a great Halloween. That probably means the funk will descend upon us just in time for Christmas.

Mandy S.
12 years ago

Our 3 month old was a monkey, and I may make him wear that outfit all the time so I can pretend he’s my little stuffed animal playmate.

Counseling?!!?

theGoriWife
12 years ago

I love the grin on his face in the pirate-sitting-on-stoop picture. Very content with his booty, it seems. My kid was a cheeseburger, but I don’t have cute kid pics up like you do, so you’ll have to take my word for it.

jen
jen
12 years ago

Love your commentary on what a therapy session for a toddler would be like! Sadly, I can picture someone actually DOING this…

We hid from the Trick-or-Treaters again this year – our experience 2 years ago totally ruined it for us. Countless 14-year-olds in football jerseys who took FISTFULS of candy and didn’t leave any for the dozen little kids who actually dressed up. Maybe when we move out of Toledo we’ll try it again.

Also, your outfit is CUTE!

Val
Val
12 years ago

My mom got 7 trick or treaters this year, that’s 6 more than she got last year. I remember when I was a kid, there were a hundred kids in our neighborhood, easy! I don’t know how many we would have gotten because my husband and I both took our kids out around the neighborhood.

My daughter [4.5yrs] was Snow White, and talk about acting the part – she immediately became a hair flouncing princess. Until the candy started coming out, then it was run, run, run to the next house candy come on let’s GO already!

My son [23 mo] was a fireman, and at first he wasn’t into the whole going up to the door thing, and he clung to Daddy like velcro. But then…I saw the light bulb come on! As soon as he figured out they were putting candy! in my basket! he was running to the doors like an old pro. In fact, my daughter tuckered out long before he did – LOL!

SJ
SJ
12 years ago

Let’s see, my older boy was Bumble Bee and my younger boy was Buzz Lightyear for a party we attended with some friends in the afternoon. Then they changed things up a bit and dressed as Mario and Luigi for a late afternoon neighborhood party. Come evening time the Mario costume stuck for my older boy however the younger one wanted to be Batman. Geesh, good thing for old costumes! I see my younger son has my wardrobe issues with the multiple changes….

Anyways, I’m sorry Dylan has been such a pest, it’s rough indeed when kids are sick at that age. Riley looked happy and content in all of the photographic evidence and well, I love your pumpkins!

Kirsty
12 years ago

Hallowe’en is pretty tame here in France, but we live next door to a language school (English teaching, that is) and every year they put on a pretty good party. This year, Carla (who’s nearly 8) went as a cat and Lydie (5 and a half) as a pumpkin, and they both looked pretty good. Good enough to win third prize each in their age groups for the costume competition!
No trick-or-treating here, either of course, so it was just a sort of distribution of sweets, but hey, kids don’t care how they get sweets, as long as they get sweets!
We had a good time, but really wish we had a more Hallowe’en-friendly neighbourhood so we could have “Boo-ed” people…
Oh, and both girls were HIDEOUS toddlers (Lydie in particular), but really, it does get better!

Deb
Deb
12 years ago

Mothers-in-law: who needs ’em.

Mine once said to me that my husband was completely potty trained before he was one, and what was taking me so long with my boy? Methinks she is not remembering quite accurately.

Someone recently suggested to me that I take him to an ear, nose, and throat doctor because he is so loud, perhaps he needs his hearing checked. I’m all, yeah he’s a BOY. They lean toward LOUD. At least at my house. If you want to blog about a normal boy conversational tone consists of bellowing DIRECTLY IN YOUR EAR, feel free. It would be nice to know I am not alone….

June
12 years ago

My 17-mo-old was a lady pirate! (See my link for a couple sad pics.) We skipped the t-r-t-ing this year b/c she seems too young, but I’m sure we’ll be out there next year.

We had MORE THAN 170 kids come to our house this year. I think it was at least 50 more than last year. My candy bill exceeded $80 this year (we give out full-size bars).

penne
12 years ago

My sister-in-law, a child therapist, once suggested that my 4 year old get counseling because of his “problems with women,” evidenced by the fact that he said “girls are yucky.” He’s 12 now, and doesn’t think they’re yucky at all. And he was Jackie Moon from Semi-Pro for H’ween. The 9 y/o was “fat Elvis” – sumo suit, Elvis wig and glasses.

Judy
Judy
12 years ago

I ate too much dinner (son cooked a roast, after doing my laundry for me while I was getting a haircut, eyebrow wax, pedicure, manicure, and shopping successfully for some new sweaters for work) and decided about 5:00 to lie down just for a minute until this food digests. Woke at 11:00, having totally slept through Halloween. Bah.

Mary
Mary
12 years ago

Speaking of blogging boundaries: I was asked recently to start a blog (associated with a parenting magazine) on being a new mama. I have no idea where “intersting blogging about the stories of my life” end and “Stuff that is None of Anyone’s Business” begins. Besides the obvious (no bashing your boss, etc.) You know, sometimes just mentioning you drank a single coffee while pregnant can set off a small comments-section-riot.

If you have any tips, and are inclined to help a total stranger out, I’d love it if you emailed or blogged about the subject sometime. If not, no sweat–I see you’ve got your hands full over there.

Jessi
12 years ago

Baby boy was a chef (http://www.flickr.com/photos/justinfoell/sets/72157622584786835/). We did the mall thing too with cousins. But the Mall of America is so stupidly big and only 10% of the stores participated that it was kind of a waste for the kids. They were tired before they even got a handful of candy.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
12 years ago

I love your pumpkins, they came out great! I haven’t carved a pumpkin since I was pregnant, 8 years ago.

Eric was Harry Potter for Halloween, it was pretty funny.

Pinkie Bling
Pinkie Bling
12 years ago

You look so great in that first photo! Best of luck with the viral crud.

Christina
12 years ago

We had a spooky Spiderman/Venom Spiderman (look TWO costumes for the price of ONE! Am cheap like that.) (btw, I have no idea what a venom spiderman is…) and a cute wee little ladybug.

Halloween was good. Cold but good. We had chili and cornbread before then hit the ‘hood for a solid hour. Spidey could have gone all night. Momma and the ladybug were COLD. SO we went home to hand out treats and eat some sugar. Fun times!

Melissa C
Melissa C
12 years ago

Some people just forget what its like to have small children. My mother-in-law, who raised two kids of her own, now has no concept of what its like to live with a baby. My biggest struggle is convincing her that no, we cannot stay out past bedtime because it will make my life a living hell the next day. She probably thinks I need counseling!

Carrie (in MN)
Carrie (in MN)
12 years ago

Hey, my own mother suggested, when my son was a 2 and then 3 year old asshole, that the problem was my parenting so there’s that.

One of my girls went as a flying pig. It was only at the end of the evening that someone asked “So, is she swine flu?” Doink *forehead slap* why didn’t we think of that?!

warcrygirl
12 years ago

Jr was a black ninja (complete with katana) and The Captain was Wolverine (comic book version). I dressed up as a pirate complete with my “piece of eight” a la Elizabeth Swann. My kids hate it when I raid their candy: “I’m just checking out this Reese’s cup, it looks suspicious.” “No you’re not, you’re gonna EAT it!”

Carrot Cake
Carrot Cake
12 years ago

My husband spent an inordinate amount of time building our 22-month-old’s Wall-E costume. But the end result was well worth it. Cardboard box with appropriate head and arm holes, covered with adhesive vinyl which had accurate designs of Wall-E’s body and wheels, a foam headpiece also covered with printed vinyl. He should go into costume design! Wish I could attach a picture!

warcrygirl
12 years ago

Side Note: video Dylan’s tirades; then show them to him when he’s older. It may not teach him anything but it’ll be good for a laugh and maybe a “Whew! I’m glad that’s over!”

Nicole
12 years ago

My own mother, when faced with our 17 month-old’s “outbursts” has recently said with palpable disgust, “That kid is really high maintenance!” As if the world is just filled to the brim with toddlers of the low maintenance variety and my kid is the exception. Oh and Riley was a fancy, high maintenance pirate.

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

We had a blast! My boys and I went to a local outing on Friday, Boo at the Zoo, which was crowded, but fun. Den made it home early Saturday morning, so he got to take them out trick-or-treating while I manned the door. We had a trickle of visitors, a little disappointing since I always overdo the decorating…(did I mention I LOVE HALLOWEEN?!) my 7yo went as a mad scientist which was great. We spiked up his hair and painted it white, used one of our dentists old lab coats, stained it up, dripped wax on it, put some burn spots on it, rubber gloves, goofy goggles and sewed a lab rat (oh yeah, cat toy) on his shoulder. It turned out really great. My 5yo was originally Shaggy with a scooby doo stuffed animal, but traded that in after pre-school for the Optimus Prime outfit, of which he shedded most of it on Friday and I had to carry all the damn pieces around the zoo. Then they get to pick some of their candy to keep and the rest goes out for the pumpkin fairy! (you know….the one that uses candy as fuel for her flying car because it’s not good fuel for us. She’s so happy that they give it to her that she usually brings a book, movie or small toy in return) All the fun….limited cavities!

By the way…that picture of Dylan…looks slightly like a giant python eating a toddler!

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

And by the way….when you find the anger management for kids can you forward the info?! 5yo still on the edge!!

Cheryl S.
Cheryl S.
12 years ago

Jess was Dorothy from Wizard of Oz and I (of course) was the bad witch. And, BTW, don’t all 2 year olds have anger issues?

victoria
victoria
12 years ago

I would be furious with the m.i.l.

Wendy
12 years ago

My little man was a giraffe and we have not clued him on the exsistence of candy, so I am eating all of it. Hello sugar coma.

Cathy
Cathy
12 years ago

Counseling?! Ha. I have a 20 month old. Maybe we can get a package deal?! :)
love the super cute red shoes, BTW.
My little man was a lion for as long as I could keep him interested in knocking on strangers’ doors in the dark.

Becky Mochaface
12 years ago

Too. Cute! What would possess someone to suggest a 2 year old needs counseling? Good lord.

steff
steff
12 years ago

oh my heck…my 7yo boy will charge the neighbor boy who outweighs him by 30lbs if he gets ticked off at him. Maybe anger management could be a group session or something?

The 13yr old was out terrorizing the girls with a super soaker while the 7 yr old was Snake Eye from GI Joe. We live in TX so no one was cold. AND i gave away two giant costco sized bags of candy in about 2 hours, i’m either too generous or we had a buncho kiddos.

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