Dec
29
I’m generally outside of the 9-5/school schedule grind but this week still seems like a liminal space. The backrooms of the year. What are we even doing or eating? I am adrift in a fog of procrastination and leftover ham.
Do you have New Year’s Eve plans? I currently do not, and while I am leaving room for a surprise activity I will likely be at home with Billy and the chances of making it to midnight (in bed doomscrolling of course) are about 50/50. I don’t even know how to feel about this year, honestly, I’m too deep inside of it still. It was the best worst year of my life! It was every single dang adjective in the thesaurus.
That leads me to think of New Year’s kisses, and how I am not on the lookout for a romantic partner. I’m leaving room for that to change too, of course, but for now: ha ha ha ha no. When/if my feelings shift, I guess I’ll have to decide about … The Apps. You know. THE APPS. The ones I have been both drawn to and also turned off by. The ones that let you scroll through people like you’re shopping, the ones that emerged and matured during my long marriage so I have never used them. Boy oh boy, I just don’t know about The Apps.
Right now I don’t feel as though I have any needs that are not being met. I have good women friends in my life. I have people to fix my doors and climb ladders and haul trash. I have spice when I want it. I have my good good Billycat, who sleeps in a downy-haired spiral next to me at night.
I treat myself well. I take bubble baths, I smooth sugary-scented lotions on my skin, I buy myself little treats, I talk to myself at home all the time, I make my own self laugh. I don’t know, I kind of feel like I am … in a relationship with myself these days? Does that sound narcissistic as all hell, I don’t know how else to say it. It’s like I have been getting to know myself and I am romancing myself a little in the process. I can’t imagine putting this sweet stage on the back burner to prioritize feeling someone else’s adoration. I feel like it would interrupt something important. I feel like centering someone else would bypass the best gifts I could be receiving these days.
If I am awake when the ball drops, I hope I kiss Billy’s dear little snoot, and then maybe plant one on a mirror. I am, among allllllll the other feelings, very curious about the year ahead.
Comments
-
My product review site:
[
Here’s to an excellent 2026 for you and for all of us.
Yessss girl, enjoy the singledom! Whenever someone hops into dating right after getting out of a long term relationship all I see are red flags. But I’m also someone that always enjoyed not being in a relationship. Not having to run my plans past another person, being able to choose whatever I want for dinner, full control of the remote, etc. I met my first husband in a bar, as most did back in the day, lol. And we were together 10 years so when we split I dipped a toe in the apps. My advice is to use them lightly, for fun, for the experience, for helping get the rust off of those old flirty vibes. If you meet someone serious off them, even better but if not, it can still just be fun to chat and meet new people. :)
This is, I believe, your second mention of spice, the first being about spicy texts. So I’m curious about that.
I have been separated for 4 yrs. He is now happily living with a lady who is so good to my kids and I want to hate her but I can’t. She has taken my place at all the holiday things and while I am invited, there’s just no way I wanna do that, be the 5th wheel, no thanks.
I have been on the apps for a few years but have had no luck really, my standards are way too high and like you, I’m good with being alone and with my cats. I did date someone who checked a lot of boxes for almost 2 months this year but he had very little time after his kids and his job. Plus there’s things I shouldnt have to teach a 53 yr old man in the bedroom, COME ON.
May 2026 be even better for all of us.
You’re probably not on FB Linda, but if you can check out the Burned Haystack Method somehow, I think you would like it.