Jan
15
The brain chemistry math could not be more simple: if I go for a river walk, it’s a good day. Really and truly, between the exercise endorphins and the interest of seeing all kinds of animals and people and standing on a bridge watching the water go by, it’s a good day. So why is it often still so hard to motivate myself to get out the door? It’s like holding a delicious piece of pizza and being like, myehhh I dunno if chewing is worth it for all that FLAVOR.
It’s true the weather has not been conducive to getting outside or doing much of anything but staring out a window and Feeling Bleak. We have that socked-in valley inversion fog going on lately, chilly and zero visibility and the sense that everything everywhere is very stagnant, except of course for the endless U.S. horrors which barrel forward unabated.
I don’t want to get too far into it because there are so many smarter better sources for commiseration over current events but man my capacity for understanding Trump supporters at this point is so far beyond gone. I have no idea how people can look at the exact same video of a citizen being killed by a toxic untrained loose cannon and see such different scenarios and I don’t know how any of us find any kind of common ground when we simply don’t share the same reality.
All to say I will send myself on a walk today regardless of the conditions, because I need the pick-me-up. I love everything about walking near my house except 1) the part where I have to lace up my shoes and Just Do the Damned Thing and 2) the part where I have to pass people who are walking only slightly slower than I am, so for a good long while I am just creeping up behind them like a total weirdo, like the sex-curse entity in It Follows, until the worst of all moment when I am actually passing them but briefly walking with them, like oh hiiiiiiiiiiiii heh heh heh, UGH. But aside from the intermittent bits of profound social awkwardness there is so much to see, I can choose from the very cute/interesting nearby neighborhoods, the Delta Ponds wetland park with a little hiking trail, or the paved river path that goes for miles in a big loop. A perfect way to put the blah on the back burner, once I life coach myself into it.
I have a 25-lb weighted vest that I wear sometimes, I started with a lighter version — maybe 12lb? — and this one feels about right. There are times when it seems like it adds just the right amount of oomph, and times when I start to put it on and I’m just like: no. Weight of world feels too literal, cannot both wear this and also listen to NPR’s Up First, nope.
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