Jul
14
Sometimes when I’m blowdrying my hair or driving to work or hauling yet another wet load of laundry out of the machine or whatever I compose blog posts in my head. They are, of course, nearly perfect in every way — a Matrix-like spread of sparkling, winking letters, trailing down the pages of this website one after another, just so, just so, laid out before you in truth and raw beauty and I say come with me, because here behind the pixels I am brave. Everything is spelled correctly and the instances of the term “jizz holster” are few. I do not rely on filler photos and I don’t bother worrying about what people will think and there is all the time in the world to say what I want. A lively hum fills the air. Maybe, also, the faint smell of something pleasant: say, vanilla.
It never quite works out that way, though, does it? So I’ll just say that summer isn’t quite as relaxing as I remember it being and I suspect it has something to do with parenthood, I would like it if my job could find a happy medium between So Fucking Bored I Have Found the End of the Internet More Than Once and Racing Dry-Mouthed in a Full-Body Panic To Meet Some Godawful Deadline, and I kind of wish all of us BlogHer attendees could just be laid back enough to show up in comfy jeans and sweatshirts because man, I don’t know what the hell to pack for this whole shindig, and hot damn this is going to be a hectic week and did I mention Dylan has a rotten cold, and LOOK, PHOTOS:
Jul
10
Oh man, it’s been a long and arduous week with JB gone. It makes me think ahead to BlogHer next week while I’ll be gone for three whole days and my main thought for my husband is HOO BOY HONEY GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
The boys and I have done pretty well this week, all things considered, but I am wiped right the hell out. I haven’t exercised, I’ve been living on toddler-remnants foodwise, and frankly, my personal hygiene has seen better days.
Worst of all, earlier tonight a largish spider went trundling busily across the family room floor right in front me and I had no choice but to find a wad of paper toweling the size of Omaha and squish it, and when I did so it seemed to succumb but then somehow returned to life, ZOMBIELIKE, and its little legs waved angrily from within the depths of the napkin even though I had smashed it all to hell and so I shrieked and instantly dropped it and then had to pick it back up and oh my god I can’t even talk about this anymore.
Anyway! Pictures:
Can you see his two little teeth there at the bottom? TEETH. What the HELL, boy.
A toddler and his trap/hive/lair.
Can’t talk now. V. busy with exersaucer. Chat l8r.
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