Holy cats, some of you sure are a porny bunch. It’s nice to know I’m among such foul-brained company. Although the plethora of captions of Questionable Taste sort of got JB wigged out after a while: “Should you be enjoying this so much? MY GOD, THIS IS OUR SON.”

True, the child did not ask for his mother to encourage such lascivious behavior at his expense, and I’d maybe feel a little bit bad about it except I’m still laughing too hard at Michelle’s winning entry: “. . . caves to preschool pressure and gets first viewing of 2 girls 1 sippy cup.” Michelle, you are a dirty bird and that was freaking hilarious, nicely done. (Hey, everyone go to Michelle’s website and check out her brand-new baby! Woo!)

My runner-up favorites:

I IN YR COMPUTR…DELETIN’ MY SUSSPISHIN”, from Jamie. HAAAAAA.

Nuh Uh, its MYspace”, from Valria. This is particularly funny to me because Riley has been in a stage of “No, MY[whatever]!” for a long time now and I could totally see him saying that.

“Toddler discovers e-mail – shocked to learn he, too, can gain three extra inches!“, from Leah. Bah!

I CANNOT believe some of those Parentdish commenters!”, from Clarabella. Damn skippy, Riley, you’re not kidding.

Thanks for playing, guys.

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I was thinking about posting this photo with the caption “Toddler’s First Goatse” but then I thought to myself, self, just how fast do you want to go to hell anyway?

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Hey, how about we have us a photo namin’ contest? I mean, I’ve got this assembly-line brain drain going on from being stuck at home doing the same tasks over and over and over: feed baby, change baby, pry embedded LEGO from the arch of my foot, feed baby, change baby, run a load of 4828951 burp rags through the laundry, feed baby, change baby, fantasize about driving to the hospital in order to locate the nurse who scoldingly informed JB and I that bottle-fed babies should be able to go 4 hours between feedings and punching her in the face, etc, and really, I could use some fun distractions.

The rules are thusly: you post your best title idea in the comments section, and I’ll pick my favorite based on a complicated set of criteria involving a decision grid and Excel pivot table (what? Just because I don’t actually know what a pivot table is doesn’t mean I won’t use one). The winner receives a $50 Amazon gift certificate.

It’s just like Ree’s photo contests, except the prize is way less awesome! And the photo isn’t exactly frameworthy, either!

One entry per person, leave your email address so I know how to get in touch with you, contest ends sometime between tonight and tomorrow. Remember, crude porn references only send the parent to hell, not the impartial, innocent internet reader.

:::

UPDATE: contest now closed!

134 Comments 

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