Mar
22
I randomly saw this show up in my tracking software today, and I don’t know what makes me laugh more—the fact that someone typed that entire thing into a search engine and waited for the Internet Magic Eight Ball to cough back an answer, or the fact that this is the entry it linked to.
Also, dear mystery googler with gas that is both weird and loud: OH MY GOD JUST BUY YOURSELF A PREGNANCY TEST ALREADY.
Mar
21
Helmets and facial deformities and infant chiropractic adjustments, oh my. I am gripped—GRIPPED I SAY—by a strong desire to change the subject, so . . . hey, do you have plans for Easter, or as my brother-in-law calls it, Jesus Comin’ Out of a Hole Day? JB’s parents are visiting for the weekend and I suddenly realized that JCOOAHD is this Sunday, holy (har!) crap, and I don’t have any bucolic family activities planned. No feasting on spring lamb or traipsing gaily through the (presumably dogshit-free) backyard in search of colorful eggs. We haven’t described the Easter bunny to Riley nor have we put together a basket of goodies for him, which I consider an EPIC FAILURE on my part because I may be a godless heathen but I do believe in a kid’s right to gnaw on chocolate deities a few times a year.
Maybe we’ll just rent Donnie Darko and have him watch it with us. What, it features a rabbit.
Oh, not really. I bet I end up running to the store tomorrow afternoon and buying Riley a basket full of random crap (“Here, have a D-sized battery!”) and some cellophane grass which the cat will probably choke on. And hopefully so, because I have decided that a 4 AM wakeup call from someone other than Dylan is currently punishable by DEATH.
What do your weekend plans include?
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