Jun
25
June 25, 2006
– Blew soap bubbles for Riley. (Not pictured: Dog snapping at bubbles then learning that Magic Bubble Solution tastes like ass.)
– Listened to Riley practice his new noise, which sounds like some sort of prehistoric lizard-bird, the kind of echoing cry you might expect to hear echoing from the moist jungle innards of the Paleolithic. I may have my Historical Eras wrong but what I’m saying here is the shit is LOUD, like DINOSAUR VOLUME LOUD, worthy of describing in ALL CAPS EVEN.
– Observed Dog totally taking advantage of the bedspread-on-the-hardwoods thing we’ve been trying as an attempt to keep the kid from Britney Spearsing his head into the floor. (If you are a kind-hearted Britney fan who feels like the Poor Thing Deserves a Break because What Mom Hasn’t Been There, well, all I have to say is I’m sorry for making fun of her, I’m just country that way.)
– Had ourselves a hoopty little picnic; caught in my attempt to pull his chair closer it looks like I posed awkwardly for this photo by slinging my arm around the boy’s shoulders while abiding some junior-high-dance “18 inches from contact” rule. Riley looks like he has no idea who the crazy Arm-Slinging Lady is and in fact is about one second from issuing his own Amber Alert. Best mother/son photo ever.
– Saw a massive 750+ lb. pig at the nearby Kelsey Creek Farm. Now I know if I ever have a dead body to dispose of, I’ve got options. I mean, if Deadwood’s taught me anything – other than the fact that “cocksucker” is a fine word with many applications – it’s that you can cover up your murderin’ ways with a pig.
– Set up our own version of the Diet Coke/Mentos craziness that I’m sure you’ve seen by now. JB strung the Mentos on some wire, drilled a hole in the cap of a 2-liter of Diet Coke, threaded the wire through the cap, and…
…dropped the Mentos into the soda.
It was quite awesome, and I’m pleased to offer you this video of the results.
– Filled with yee-haw piss ‘n vinegar (remember: country), decided to shoot old cell phone with BB gun.
Having taken several 10-pump BB’s, the phone was still in remarkably good shape.
So we ran over it with JB’s truck.
Surprisingly, the Motorola still looked pretty decent after being smashed with a Ford F-150. As for what JB did next, I will close this particular vignette with this image:
(I realize now we should have donated the phone. Especially since it was apparently resistant to, well, almost anything. Except a miter saw.)
– Received a frighteningly large delivery from Ikea, where we had ordered a “closet system” for the new bedroom.
JB started setting things up (40 boxes of various parts. 40!!!).
Here is a helpful information sheet Ikea supplies in each of their shipments:
Unfortunately, JB soon discovered the fine birch-loving people at Ikea had delivered several wrong boxes, as well as boxes with the wrong parts inside, boxes with missing screws, etc…it appears the warehouse crew was påverkad av alkohol on the day this crap was packaged.
– Decided to forgive the boy for his Paleolithic sounds as well as his wet rasberry-sprays, because hot damn if that kid doesn’t melt my country little heart.
Jun
22
Dude, that is totally me. Except I have more tacky, grown-out brown roots in my hair. And my waist is maybe…not quite so…okay, add a few inches to the waistline. And Riley’s carseat is way more humongous than that weirdly proportioned thing.
But the cheap Old Navy-type shirt, the jeans, the flipflops, the look of vague cluelessness? EERIE.
Go ahead, make your own.
(Link stolen from found over at Zoot’s.)
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