Oh god, are we still talking about this? Note to the million-and-one ParentDish commenters who opined that all mothers who work outside of the home are jealous of those who stay at home full time: ah, no. If I am jealous of anyone, it’s the rare breed of parent who purely loves staying home OR working OR a combination of the two because it truly fulfills them and makes them happy and — here’s the important part — doesn’t feel compelled to crap on defensively about their choice and explain why the alternatives to their own situation are undesirable to not only themselves but somehow, mysteriously, every other parent on earth. I am jealous of this maybe-mythical person because when I read someone’s comment that if a family has two working parents they shouldn’t have kids because “kids are a prividlede not a right!” (side note: is a spellchecker a privilege too?) I can’t stop my OWN self from crapping on about how close-minded this is and how every working parent has their own unique situation and the tired-ass argument that keeps getting trotted out about how when you work outside the home you aren’t actually raising your own kids reminds me of a bunch of slack-jawed morons holding up misspelled signs that declare the earth is flat, FLAT WE SAY, and really, maybe if I could just not CARE about other people having (crazy) opinions about my parenting choices I could sit back and concentrate on feeling fulfilled and happy instead of FROTHY-MOUTHED and RAGE-Y.

Oh god, am I still talking about this?

Comments

106 Responses to “Searching for my inner STFU”

  1. Asianmommy on June 13th, 2008 6:13 am

    Clearly, each person needs to make their own choice for themselves on this issue. Everyone else can stay out of it!

  2. Shawna on June 13th, 2008 6:13 am

    You know, a mother that stays home doesn’t necessarily spend her time at home interacting with her kids. My mom stayed home on our hobby farm and did her own thing most of the time (gardening, taking care of our small complement of animals, cooking, etc.) Now that we’re grown up, she’s fond of saying, “You kids were great when you were little, I NEVER saw you.” and it’s true – we pretty much occupied ourselves, and on weekends our grandmother would come stay and do stuff with us.

    I do remember thinking it was weird that there were a couple of kids that didn’t have moms that stayed home, but it was a rural farming community and therefore the family livelihood was the home.

  3. Emily on June 13th, 2008 9:07 am

    Being a parent, just like being a child or a wife or a partner or a sister, doesn’t come with some set of strict and stringent rules. The only for sure thing about being a parent is that when you think you know everything, YOU ARE WRONG. Hell, when you think you know anything, you are wrong. You know nothing.

    Opinions are opinions are opinions are opinions. They aren’t fact. People say inflammatory things for one reason only. They want attention.

    The mightier than though sound offs on this “issue” are beginning to make me wonder when the great big bible thumping will begin or when someone is going to say that the great thing about being a SAHM is that they get to dust off their gun cabinet every Thursday afternoon. Times change. Situations change. Mortgage rates change. We’re all trying to do the best we can by our offspring. Anyone suggesting otherwise to a mother is wrong.

  4. Amy on June 13th, 2008 11:27 am

    Well, I know I’m unpopular, but I would have to agree that those of us who work and selfishly chose to have a family as well should not pawn our children off on a day care/pre-school where they are exposed to crucial socialization, creative projects and other beneficial learning issues that I might not be creative enough to provide even if I were not a full-time working mom. Personally, I just leave them in a crate with the dogs so they can all lick themselves during the day and not bother me when I get home!

    ….you won’t win over the closed minded, Sundry. But thanks for showing us you care!
    (1 home, 2 kids, and 2 incomes….but doing great!)

  5. liz on June 27th, 2008 11:01 am

    The first poster was right about one thing. Her opinion does not matter, especially since she is opposed to “breeding.” That’s an interesting way to look at it.

    Maybe I should go on PD and spill my guts about being a non-working (for now) single mother who sends her oldest child to school

  6. liz on June 27th, 2008 11:04 am

    The first poster was right about one thing. Her opinion does not matter, especially since she is opposed to “breeding.” That’s an interesting way to look at it.

    Maybe I should go on PD and spill my guts about being a non-working (for now) single mother who sends her oldest child to school AND sends the baby to daycare. I bet that would make for some interesting reactions.

    Then I would take massive delight in telling them the reasons WHY which are beyond valid and watch them crawl away with theirs tails between their legs.

    And, Sundry, please don’t stop railing against the hypocrisy. Your cries for tolerance are well-appreciated. If you turned this blog into a weather report, so many people would be disappointed.

    YOU, my dear, are the bomb!

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