Hey, I meant to tell all three of you who might possibly care that I’m no longer writing at Lemondrop — no bad blood or anything, it just wasn’t turning out to be a good use of my time so I bid them adieu. I am, however, continuing to write at Gather.com for BOCA, and I have two things to share about those guys.

Thing the First: BOCA is running a Balanced Living Challenge where you can win $5,000 just by posting a short entry about one thing you’d like to change in order to live a more well-balanced life. The idea is that this five grand could help you make that change, either by paying for a babysitter or cooking lessons or reducing credit card debt or whatever it is, but the important part here is FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. You can read about the contest details and how to enter here.

Thing the Second: In February BOCA will be sponsoring some blogger get-togethers, one of which I’ll be attending. The tentative date/locations are:

Chicago – Tuesday, Feb. 10th, 6-9 pm
Washington DC – Thursday, Feb 12th. 5-8 pm
Los Angeles – Tuesday, Feb 17th, 6-9 pm

If you live in one of those areas and you think you’d be up for hanging out and getting some free spa pampering (yes! Think manicures/pedicures, massages, that sort of thing), drop by the comments here and let me know which city/day might work for you.

(Also, how much do I love this client, with their cruel requirements that I attend a spa night on their behalf? Oh no I couldn’t possibly leave my children WHEREDOISIGNUP.)

Tomorrow we’re heading down to Eugene for JB’s brother’s wedding, and yes, we totally scored a babysitter, not only for the wedding itself on Saturday but even for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, can I GET a hallelujah. I’m relieved as hell, for all the reasons you’d expect, but also for the fact that both children have goopy eyes and runny noses and juicy coughs and are generally sort of unfit for public exposure. Even more so than usual, I mean.

Since JB will be best man, I imagine his speech will be quite colorful, although I’m guessing he’ll avoid sharing MY favorite story about his brother, which involves the two of them getting stupid-drunk many, many years ago out at their family cabin and his brother (who played football at the time) suddenly staggering outside, dropping his pants, and clumsily assuming a 3-point-stance before announcing he had to SHIT, he had to PUKE, and he had to PISS, and he was going to do “WHICHEVER HAPPENSH FIRSHT.”

Yesterday, in dreary bullet-point format:

• Riley came down with a miserable cold, complete with feverish whimpering and Repulsive Old Man Cough
• We had to cancel hanging out with our friends who we hardly ever get to see and they have a BRAND NEW BABY and I was totally concocting a multi-step plan for how I could get away with nomming their son’s toes without looking like some kind of toe-nomming weirdo
• While JB was visiting an office just north of us, his truck was broken into, his dash torn to shit, the navigation system ripped out, and his MacBook Pro stolen:


On the other hand, OBAMA IN THE HIZZOUSE! So, you know, not all bad.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a laptop with personal information on it go missing but boy, is it ever a phenomenal pain in the ass. I should clarify that in this case it’s a pain in JB’s ass, since he’s the one running around like crazy making sure passwords are changed and accounts are notified and fraud alerts are placed and so on, but of course I have to live with him, so let’s just say everyone’s ass will be glad when this is over. Luckily, our homeowner’s insurance will cover the cost of a new laptop, because I can already tell by the twitching and occasional lunges towards my own computer that JB’s going through some hardcore withdrawal.

An additional bummer is that we’ll have to drive my car to Oregon this weekend while JB’s truck is being repaired (his brother’s wedding is finally coming up, and guess whose best man speech was on a laptop that got stolen yesterday?), and now that we have two largish front-facing booster seats, there’s about six inches of room between them in the backseat. So that should be pretty comfortable when one of us, likely the one who doesn’t have “control issues” about letting other people drive AHEM, has to get back there to tend to the baby.

Maybe one of the children could ride in the trunk? Whichever one is being most loud and irritating, say? They should be fine back there, right, if they have good airflow and a toy or two to keep them entertained? Man, talk about two birds with one — oh, I’m kidding.

(Sort of.)

In happier news, Dylan has started doing this thing where he picks up a TV remote, holds it backwards to his ear, and makes little jabbering noises, because — ha! — he’s on a phone. God damn if it isn’t the cutest thing ever. We should get him a little Bluetooth headset so he can be Baby Douchebag Handsfree Cellphone Conversation Guy.

Is not actually a douchebag. Well, not all the time, anyway.

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