May
4
Hello, ladies.
Do you enjoy simple pleasures in life, such as the music? Perhaps you would enjoy while I play for you a song of “Music Box Dancer“? No, it will not take long. I only have push this one buttons.
I also enjoy the dancing, do you? Come and join me. I like very much to spin in circles and only occasionally do I get dizzy and smash into nearest piece of furniture. See wooden leg of chair? My face has made good friends with it!
I have many hobby, such as using my pants as the bathroom. Have you tried? It is very easy! I am also liking the loud crying and putting the dog hair in my mouth.
I know many many words in the English but I like best the pointing. Look where my finger can go! Yes also in my own nose! I am many skilled.
If you like for you a companion with who you can share cheese cracker and many many container of milk, please to call. I am not allowed phone yet because of the biting but tell your message and I am sure to be saying hello.
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Ha! I love it! This is exactly why you are my most favorite writer of all time! Brilliant!
Bwahahahahaha! Okay, now I’m wondering what my own children’s ads would sound like and which pictures I would use…
HA. Also, holy cow does he ever look like a FREAKING BOY and not a baby and aiieee. How did that happen?
Maybe he and my many skilled daughter can eventually get together. They can finger point at the cheese cracker together.
Love this! Thanks.
“If you like for you a companion with who you can share cheese cracker and many many container of milk, please to call.”
The “please to call” bit was my very favorite part. :)
Look where my finger can go! Awesome.
You, and this, are so very very awesome!
Thank you for making mah freakin’ day.
Linda, that was above and beyond the outer limits of hilarity.
With all do respect, that boy is a P-I-M-P!
Awesome. Is it me or does he look just like JB?
How great!! He is so adorable!!
Did he grow OVERNIGHT?
honest to heavens this makes my stomach hurt from the laughing. oh the laughing.
What a hoot! Also, what a cutie!
I want to nom nom nom on his cute cheeks!
Hilarious!
I love that your son is an eastern European ladies man.
So,sorry to give you son a lisp and all, but when I read this, I totally had the “Ladies Man” voice in my head.
So Dylan’s all: “Helloooo ladeeth. Do you enjoy the thimple pleasures in life?”
I’m tha ladeeth man.
Oh, man, he looks sooo much like JB in this photo! And so dang big!
Off topic: Do you think JB’s company can make antimicrobial stripper poles? http://crasspollination.blogspot.com/2009/05/career-ending-injury.html
Please let this be the back of the hardcover paper wrap for your book, complete with Dylan’s picture.
I keep coming back and reading this again because it cracks me up, and that picture of him is so darn cute! Thanks for another great post.
I love this!! But, why does he sound like the Russian dude from Clerks? You know, do you like for making fuck, berserker!?!
I keep coming back to read this one. Har.
Oh my GOD! Pure wonder. And the picture is such a perfect accompaniment.
Ha HA you slay me, woman! That was damn funny!
Also? I grew up with that same Victorian chair, only in hunter green. Wierd.
Doubled over laughing!!!
BWA HA HA HA! *snort* HA HA HA HA
ilu. seriously.
HAR! Holy Crap, that is funny:)
I adore, ADORE I TELL YOU, this picture of Dylan. And his personal ad just made me shake with laughter.
Oh my GOD, you are hilarious. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a LONG TIME. He’s absolutely adorable — and getting so BIG.
SOOOO funny.
Oddly enough that reads almost identically to an email I got from a Nigerian scammer offering me much love the other day. Course his picture had him holding two loaves of bread and halibut on his head, but hey!
What happened to the hilarious monkey/banana post?
OMG, that cracked my shit up! :D
I almost used my own pants as a bathroom reading this. I’m bookmarking it to read again when I need a good laugh. Thanks for that!
I think I have come back to read this post fifty times now, and never fail to laugh. Brilliant!
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