Jul
15
All done, he tells me. All done, all done.
Ah dunnn. Ah dunnn.
His face is a flower. His face is something plucked from a pie. His face is perfect: wide open, smooth, touchable. It is real.
Up, up! He talks to me now. I don’t understand everything he says but I understand some of it and oh, oh. Oh, what a difference.
Once I understood with my skin and cells what he needed and sometimes I was wrong and sometimes I had to guess and guess, over and over, and I wasn’t always right but it was like this: breathe, eat, sleep. Exhale. Do it again. Do it better. It wasn’t binary but it was primal. It wasn’t easy but it was real.
Now it’s like breathing underwater and it’s hard but I’m getting better and I want to say baby come here baby listen baby but he isn’t a baby now he’s a little boy and it isn’t but it is and it’s better and I am learning.
He is starting to talk now and his feet move away but then they come back and it’s getting better and better and better and I know this feeling. This is choice. This is something deliberate. This is something new. He clings to me, his arms tucked under his warm torso. He whispers against my shoulder.
Mama! His face is a flower.
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Happy sigh.
awwwwww….happy mama!!
oh. want.
sometimes life is better without commas…
This is an incredible time for both of you. Enjoy it.
Oh, oh. EXACTLY. I love “this is choice.” Lovely piece.
You make my now barren uterus ache. I long for this again. But it is not to be. My baby will be 20 next month, but thank you for bringing back so many warm memories.
Ahhh. It’s perfection!
Yes! That’s it exactly.
You always say what I feel so well. Thank you. This is it exactly.
This brought tears to my eyes. I have a 16 month LITTLE BOY at home. It’s so wonderful to watch him grow, and yet heartbreaking all at the same time. Thank you for your words, lovely and touching as always.
Beautiful.
Just beautiful. My first read of the day and
I’m already crying.
Awesome. Thank you.
Oh so true…
Exactly.
(dude, your writing! It’s the most awesome-est!)
Exactly. Gorgeous.
Dammit, quit making me cry!!
Beautiful.
every one of these words are mine too. except for the end. my boy says “oh..mama”. this is so lovely. thank you.
:)
Very sweet!
That totally brought tears to my eyes. Absolutely beautiful, and touching. There is so much joy in motherhood, I couldn’t agree with you more.
I really need to wait to put on makeup until after I read your blog.
So sweet.
Tears. I’m eight months pregnant with the third, and this is exactly the second. Thank you, Linda!
I love this.
Gorgeous.
Beautiful. And true.
I have read your blog for a long time and never posted. This was just beautiful – so simple and touching. I think every mother feels her heart tug a little when reading this!
I wish my baby would stay 2 months old forever…
How did you know? My son, the younger of my two boys, my beautiful baby-who-isn’t-for-much-longer, is turning one tomorrow. My emotions on this are….well, how did you know?
Beautiful. Perfect. Thank you.
I am inspired by you… Thank you.
Does JB know you are all that and a bag of chips?
Sometimes, it feels like you are writing for all of us who cannot get the words to sit properly on the page…
Thank you, Linda.
Oh, I was bereft when I realized that every new step my baby made was a step away. I never thought of it in terms of choice – thanks.
OK, crying now.
So sweet. I cherish every single snuggle I get because I know someday, like in about 15 years, he’s going to want nothing to do with me. If it wasn’t for poopy diapers, I’d ask a genie if he could be 13 months forever.
Oy, that made my leg hairs all prickly.
Well said.
beautiful. chills.
You’re making me weepy, little mama. So glad you’re feeling the joy.
Beautiful.
This is a beautiful piece of writing, Sundry. I resonate completely. Thank you.